Circus

by Cameron Jace

  “I don’t know any,” I say.

  “Just say what’s on your mind,” Lewis says. “We’re family now. We’ll accept what you feel inside your heart.”

  Overwhelmed by the possibility of having had such a family at some time, overwhelmed by this peace and love, I stare at Fabiola’s angelic, motherly smile, Lewis’ fatherly care, the little girl’s innocence, and Jack’s loving eyes. The March Hare could simply fit as good uncle who takes care of us as much as his garden.

  My phone rings suddenly. I pick it up while everyone glares at me. Not even Carroll imagined such a device in his time—I guess I will have to explain it to them later.

  But there may be no later.

  The message is from the Hatter, not the one I saw in the circus, but the one from real life:

  Thank you for telling me the circus’s whereabouts; no one would have found it but you.

  And, oh, all of this you see happened once in the past, Alice. Enjoy the very short moment, as it will turn upside down right now. Enjoy a glimpse of Wonderland as it was so long ago.

  You led me to the circus, and I have to thank you for that. This is why I showed you this intimate moment of your past through this portal.

  I raise my head to the questioning friends on the table, but I have to type back now, and explain later:

  You got what you wanted. The location of the circus, although I don’t know why it’s so important. I need the location of the rabbit. You promised.

  The response arrives sooner than I expected:

  Go to the Six O’clock Circus in real life. You will find a device buried underneath the sand in the ring. The device can locate the rabbit’s every move. Good luck. Now, I leave with the last tragedy in the scene.

  P.S. You will never find the rabbit if you’re not wearing the dress. And, ah, again, the fan and gloves you found are the wrong ones. But don’t worry, you should find them, and understand their importance, once you find the rabbit.

  Find the rabbit, save the world, and find out who you really are.

  I tuck my phone back in my pocket, and smile at my family. “I’ll explain what this is later.”

  “Is that from the future?” The March Hare raises a thick eyebrow.

  “Kinda.”

  “Kinda?” Jack asks. “What does kinda mean?”

  “Ah.” I sigh. “That’s a long story. Should I say the prayers now?”

  “Please do.” Lewis and Fabiola exchange smiles and stare at me. I don’t know what it means, but suddenly I realize they maybe were a couple one day.

  I grip Jack’s hand harder on my left, and this cute younger girl on my right, and begin...

  But like the Hatter said, it won’t last long.

  The door bursts open. Victorian police dash in and arrest Fabiola, Jack, March Hare, and the girl on account of being infected with the Invisible Plague.

  Lewis stands and defends them. The police knock him down and take him along. “You’re infected, just like all of them,” the constable roars, and hits him on the back. “You all shall die before you infect the rest of the world.”

  I realize that this memory is the last of the happy ones for the six of us.

  As for me, I feel like I am fading away, melting between the sheets of insanity, returning with my body and soul to the place where I originally started. The place people like to call the real world. Sometimes, they call it the sane world.

  Chapter 61

  The Garden of Cosmic Speculation, Scotland

  Time remaining: 5 hours, 04 minutes

  I wake up in the rabbit hole again. Dirt surrounds me everywhere.

  Whatever this trip was, I have no idea. But I know I learned a lot.

  A lot!

  A tiny slant of light peers through from above. Someone is unlocking the hole.

  “Alice.” The Pillar peeks inside. “Can you hear me?”

  “Yes.”

  “We finally found you. We seemed to miss the hole before. It’s strange. I don’t know how it happened,” the Pillar says. “Hang tight. We’re sending someone to pick you up now.”

  “Pillar,” I say, “until they pull me out, you should prepare the plane. I have to go back to the Six O’clock Circus.”

  “Why? What’s there?”

  “Trust me, I know much more than you do right now.”

  Chapter 62

  Six O'clock Circus, Mudfog Town, on the Outskirts of London

  Time remaining: 3 hours, 07 minutes

  I am back in the Six O'clock Circus, where it all started. The Pillar is watching me while I crawl on hands and knees and dig into the sand where the Piccadilly writing had been embedded before.

  I dig everywhere for that device the Hatter told me about. I have to find it. Time is running out.

  "Will you ever talk to me?" the Pillar says. “I’ve been begging you all the way here on the plane. What's gong on, Alice?"

  "I have to find a device that will locate the rabbit so I can stop the bomb." I am still digging like a mad rabbit. "It's buried in the sand."

  "And I suppose the Hatter told you this somehow while you were in the hole in the Garden of Cosmic Speculation?"

  "Yes. It's a long story."

  "Why don't you tell me about it?" he says. "Because there was nothing inside that hole. It was just a hole. We couldn't even find a rabbit."

  “Are you questioning my sanity now?” I snap.

  The Pillar sighs.

  “Because I am certified, you know. The beauty of it is I can do and believe whatever I want.”

  “You’re not making sense, Alice. Let’s slow down.”

  “Sense?” I am on the verge of shouting. “What has ever made sense since I met you? Just shut up and let me find the device.” Inside, I want to cry. Why? Because he is right. Nothing makes sense. Even if some of the events made little sense before, I’m too deep into the rabbit hole of absurdity to recall such events.

  But somehow, I keep chugging my way through. God only knows where it will lead me.

  “Okay, I admit I may have been insensitive,” the Pillar says. I wonder why he isn’t sarcastic at the moment. Why is he so serious about wanting to know what happened in the hole? It’s not like him. “Just tell me about the rabbit hole in the Garden of Cosmic Speculation. What happened in there?”

  “It’s a portal to Wonderland."

  “Are you saying you were in Wonderland?" The Pillar seems eager to know.

  "Not quite so." I shrug. "It's part Wonderland, part real world, part time machine." I am well aware of how impossible this sounds, but I trust in what I saw. I trust my mind—ironically, I do.

  "Hmm..." The Pillar rubs his chin.

  "Look, you're supposed to be the one who always believes me, the one who always encourages me to save lives." I stand up. "So don't go hmm on me."

  "I'm not. I am only wondering why you're not really telling what you saw."

  "You want to know what I saw?" The tension in my arms seems to be an aftermath of the horrific scene of the circus where the Wonderlanders where humiliated. It seems as if it all starts to sink in now. And it's too much to take. "I saw the circus!"

  The Pillar grimaces. It’s like I have stuffed him inside a pinball machine and kicked him all around.

  "I saw the real circus. The Invisible Plague. I saw what humans, the likes of me, did to the Wonderlanders, only because they were different." I am shivering. "Is that what the Wonderland Wars are all about, Pillar? Is that why there’s a Wonderland Monsters plan to destroy every living human? Why haven't you told me about it? Why have you lied to me?"

  I hate it that tears stream down my face. I hate them.

  But the image of Lewis, Fabiola, Jack, the girl, and the March Hare being taken by the British constables and sent to the circus shattered me. The image of humans rejecting anyone who is different from them makes me hate my own kind.

  "I didn't know how to explain such a horrific thing to you," the Pillar says. He looks saddened. Surprisingly ashamed. "You woul
dn't have believed me. No one would have believed me. It's a fact, buried deep down in the tombs of history books, deep down in the conscience of mankind. Something no one wants to talk about anymore. I mean, lining up mentally ill persons behind a cage for entertainment, as if they were animals in a zoo? Who would have believed me?"

  "But you lied to me and told me Lewis locked the Wonderland Monsters in Wonderland."

  "I didn't lie. It's true. Some of them he managed to lock in Wonderland, and some he managed to give new identities in the real world, like Fabiola," the Pillar says. "It was complicated. On one hand, humans tortured Wonderlanders, so he was trying to protect us all from them. And on the other hand, Wonderlanders, like the Cheshire, a victim of human atrocities too many times, had become a clear threat to the world. I don't even think Lewis knew what he was doing."

  "And now what?" I say. "How do you expect me to hunt the Wonderland Monsters knowing what we humans have done to them? Do you have any idea how confused I am?"

  "A monster is a monster." He grabs my arms tightly. "No matter the circumstance that turned them into one."

  "Coming from you, a man who killed twelve innocent people." I push him away.

  "Forget about me. Don't you see what's happening here? Whoever showed you the circus wanted you to think that way." The Pillar grits his teeth. "They want you to sympathize with the Wonderland Monsters."

  I realize his remark is right on the money. It may explain what most of this was about. This Hatter, probably on good terms with the Queen of Hearts and the Cheshire, wants me to feel for them, if not join them against the world.

  Could it be this Hatter is actually the Cheshire?

  As I think, my feet hit a bulge in the sand. I kneel down and see something protruding from it. I dig again.

  Here it is.

  A small, round thing, like a compass, but with a black digital screen. A red dot shimmers on the far left of it. “Here it is." I show it to the Pillar. "The rabbit's location. I need to go there now."

  The Pillar takes a moment, staring at it. His face dims a little.

  "What now?" I say.

  "I'm just wondering what the rabbit is doing in your house, where we were yesterday.”

  Chapter 63

  Buckingham Palace, London

  As he was getting ready to enter the meeting hall after a small break for coffee and cakes, Dr. Tom Truckle still couldn’t believe he was standing among those important people from all over the world.

  None of them were presidents, or prime ministers, but they were close, mostly friends of presidents and prime ministers.

  What was the Queen planning to do with them? And how come they’d all lived in Wonderland once?

  Tom avoided any prolonged conversations, so he wouldn’t blow his cover. After all, he hadn’t been truly invited. He was just an imposter in this party, the same way the Queen of Hearts was, posing as if she were the real Queen of England.

  How did she even do this? And what did she do to the poor Queen of England?

  The idea that Britain was now ruled by a queen from Wonderland drove him crazy. This was the kind of stuff his patients said in the asylum. The kind of the stuff he sent them to the Mush Room for.

  Tom heard them announce the end of the break. It was time to get back in and listen to the Queen’s final words. Time to listen to her telling them what this meeting was really for.

  As he strolled back, he reminded himself that each person on the invitation list had been, at least once, convicted of madness.

  `

  Chapter 64

  Alice Wonder's house, 7 Folly Bridge, Oxford

  Time remaining: 1 hours, 44 minutes

  When Edith opens the door for me, she looks like she has seen a ghost, again. I guess she didn’t expect my return, not in a million years. But I had to. My device is flashing red in my hand. The rabbit with the bomb is somewhere in my childhood house.

  “You got some nerve.” Edith groans. She has two spots swelling in her head, from when she fell down after I hit her. They’re red, and make her look like a devil.

  I push her aside and let myself in, following the lead from my device. “I need to get in. There is something inside that I am looking for.”

  Waving her fan, Lorina descends the stairs and looks at me with wide eyes. “Are you serious?” She tilts her head between me and Edith. “Are you freakin’ serious?”

  “She thinks the rabbit is in here.” Edith closes the door behind me and laughs.

  “See? Now I know you two are hiding something,” I say. “I never told you about that. How do you know about the rabbit? The police never spread the word about it to keep the people from going crazy.”

  “You’re really nuts,” Lorina says. “I mean, I’m going to call the asylum to come and get you now.”

  “Listen,” I say. “All I need is the rabbit, and I promise you will never see me again. Not that I would want to see any of you again after what happened here the last time.”

  As the two sisters mock me, I stare at my device. It says I am standing in the right spot. The rabbit should be right under my feet, but there is nothing there. “Where are you hiding it?” I ask them. “How come you’re involved in all of this? I am really losing my mind.”

  “You lost that a long time ago.” Lorina chuckles. “How about another round of None Fu?”

  “I’m not joking,” I say. “Time is really running out and there is a rabbit with a bomb in this house.”

  “Not in this house, dear mad sister.” Edith turns the TV on. “The rabbit is all over the city.”

  I stare at the TV and see someone has leaked the news of a loose rabbit with a bomb inside. People all over London are going bonkers looking for it. Streets blocked, others shut down, in a frantic search for the rabbit. Other people catch all the rabbits they can and lock them in a cage on the back of a huge truck, preparing to drive out of the city before the deadline.

  The whole city of London has gone mad.

  Chapter 65

  Alice Wonder's house, 7 Folly Bridge, Oxford

  Time remaining: 1 hours, 30 minutes

  “How is that possible? Who leaked the news?” I ask.

  “That mysterious man who calls himself the Hatter was on TV an hour ago,” Lorina says. “Just like the Muffin Man last week. Living in London is starting to feel like a curse.”

  “But the rabbit is here.” I stare back at the device in my hand. “It has to be here. The Hatter gave me this device. What’s the point in fooling me again?”

  Edith laughs. “Poor sis, can’t you get it?” She approaches me. “Whoever is playing this game with you doesn’t care about the rabbit. Haven’t we warned you before?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Whoever is playing this game with you is playing it with us too.” Lorina shows me a message on her phone. It’s from an anonymous number, saying they know about the Event.

  “The Event?” I grimace.

  “We used to call it the circus,” Edith says.

  A big lump is struck in my throat. “You know about the circus, too?”

  “Oh.” Lorina faces Edith. “So this Hatter must have shown her, or told her, about the circus, too.”

  “This is getting on my nerves,” Edith says. “I wonder what he has on his mind. Why is he doing this?”

  “Wait, you two!” I shout. “What are you saying? How do you know about the circus?” Then a thought strikes me. “Are you two from Wonderland, too?”

  Now both my sisters really laugh.

  “No, darling.” Edith pats me, but not in a kind way. “Wonderland isn’t real. It only exists in your franjous mind.” She laughs louder. “Lorina and I are real people. We are from the real world.”

  “But, of course, we still know about the circus.” Lorina grins, as if intentionally wanting to drive me mad.

  I grit my teeth, collect what’s left from the fragments of my thoughts, and pretend I’m the most logical person on earth. “Let’s go over this again.
Are we both talking about the same circus?”

  “The one where mad Wonderlanders were kept in a cage by humans and made fun of?” Edith’s grin widens. “Then yes, we’re talking about the same circus.”

  I have no idea how she knows that.

  “The same circus where people had the Invisible Plague.” Lorina waves her fan. “Yes, loony sis, we know about that.”

  “But how is that possible?” I say. “How could you not believe in Wonderland and believe in the circus in the same instant?”

  “You really want to know?” Edith looks at my device flashing red.

  I nod.

  “Are you sure?” Lorina says. “I mean, you seem to have forgotten all about it somehow.”

  “Forgotten about it?”

  “Yes, forgotten about our greatest secret,” Lorina says. “Me, you, and Edith—Mother included, too.”

  “What secret?” I find myself taking a step away from them. It’s as if I am close to remembering something, but my mind is resisting it.

  The haze in my mind returns, and I realize that’s a sign of remembering the things I fear to remember. It’s been the same all day long. Whenever I felt dizzy or saw that haze, I was unconsciously resisting the truth about my past.

  “You know where your device is pointing at?” Lorina says, sounding too sure of herself.

  “It’s supposed to point at the rabbit.”

  “That’s what the Hatter wants you to think,” Edith says. “We have no idea why he wants to lead you down this road, but we don’t care, because it’s time for us to remind you about what really happened in the circus.”

  And I thought I had seen enough—remembered enough.

  “The device is pointing to the right spot,” Lorina explains. “Only it’s not the rabbit, but the basement underneath your feet.”

  “The basement?”

  “Yes.” Edith grins. “Want to go down there to remember our secret?”

  I know I shouldn’t say yes, but curiosity definitely killed the cat. And I’m starving for any real truth about my past, even from my hating sisters.