“What about you? Are you okay?” she asked.
He gave her a sideways look. “I’m fine.”
Right. Of course he was. Lissa didn’t push. She knew he’d been shaken, but she suspected there was more to it than the gash on Oliver’s hand.
“I’m glad you’re okay, because he’s asking for you. I don’t want you going in there looking like you just poured a bowl of cereal and discovered there’s no milk.”
“I’m sure that isn’t the look on my face.” He rubbed his hands down his face, as if that would relieve the tension from his expression.
“Oh, it is the look. I promise it is. Doc said you can bring the puppy in and he’ll take care of him.”
“I think he’s hungry more than anything. He’s skin and bones.”
She lifted the puppy and gave it a good look, and then she smiled. “It is a cute thing. Good thing you have plenty of room for animals. Oliver has already decided he wants to keep it. I told him you’d have to at least try to find the owners and, also, he’ll have to make sure it’s okay with you.”
“With me? If Oliver is keeping the puppy, it’s going home with him.”
“We can’t have pets. The puppy stays with you and the cat.”
He hopped off the tailgate and walked away from her. She let him go. When he turned, she saw all of the confusion, worry and pain written into his expression.
“When are you leaving?” he asked.
“Two days. But we’ll be back. Remember, you want weekends and to share holidays, summer breaks. It’s like an amicable divorce.”
“Is there any such thing?”
Lissa shrugged. She had never thought about it before. Now that she did, she realized everyone got hurt. There was no party who walked away completely unscathed.
Marcus narrowed the distance he’d put between them. “When he got hurt, it wasn’t me he wanted. It was you. You’re the one who makes him feel safe. You make him feel secure. I’m just fun for the time being because I have an old dog and ponies. Dogs and ponies aren’t going to sustain him forever. When he gets sick or hurt or even lonely, he’s going to want you.”
“I think you’re trying to find a problem when there isn’t one.” She gave him a long, level look. “He’s a typical little boy. He asked for the person who has been a mom to him. If you’re worried about how you handled this, you did what any dad would do. You didn’t panic and you got him to the doctor.”
“Oh, I panicked,” he admitted drily.
“He didn’t know it.”
“No, I guess he didn’t.” He stepped a little closer and she could see the anguish in his eyes.
“You are his dad. And he does need you.”
“But he needs you more. He needs a mom.” He nodded in the direction of the clinic. “We should go in. I don’t want him to be alone, wondering where we are. He worries, you know.”
“I know.” She had stayed awake with him the nights he’d cried himself to sleep and the nights he’d awoken with bad dreams.
They walked back through the clinic, Marcus carrying the puppy, who whined pitifully from inside the blanket. From room two she could hear Oliver telling Doc Parker all about the way they’d heard that puppy crying and then rescued him from the pipe under the road. When they entered the room with the puppy, Oliver’s eyes lit up. He was sitting on the bed, his injured hand bandaged and cradled in his other arm. She knew it hurt. But the puppy seemed to take his mind off the pain.
“Can you fix him, Doc?” Oliver asked as Doc Parker peeked inside the horse blanket.
“That’s a fine-looking pup, Oliver. Looks like he might be a Labrador. Chocolate-colored, I’d say. But first we need to wash the mud off him and see how he looks.”
“He was holding up one leg,” Oliver offered. “But we got him out of that hole in the ground.”
Doc took the puppy. “I’m taking him to my utility room to clean him up, and then we’ll give him a real examination. But I think he’s going to be just fine, Oliver. I think, more than anything, this guy needs something to eat.”
“Me, too,” Oliver said.
Doc left and Oliver lost his mojo. He curled up, holding his arm.
“Knock knock,” Marcus said as he pulled up a stool and sat down next to the bed.
Oliver grinned. “Who’s there?”
“Interrupting cow.”
“Interrupting cow—”
“Moo,” Marcus said before the boy could get out the word who.
“Hey!” Oliver said. “You didn’t let me ask. Interrupting cow—”
“Moo,” Marcus said again.
“What are you doing that for?” Oliver was still laughing.
“I’m an interrupting cow,” Marcus told him.
They both laughed, and then Oliver leaned forward and threw his good arm around Marcus. “You’re a funny dad.”
Lissa’s heart melted and she brushed away the tears that trickled down her cheeks. This was why she had come. She’d come here to give Oliver this gift. The gift of a father. If only Marcus could see that he was a dad. He was exactly the man Oliver needed. He might be a little broken, a little banged up emotionally, but deep down, he was good.
It felt as if her heart was colliding with her common sense as she watched him with his son. She’d come here knowing what she wanted for her life, and now what she wanted looked a lot like the man sitting with Oliver telling knock-knock jokes.
Doc returned with the puppy. He had a towel wrapped around the little dog, and sure enough, it did look like a chocolate-colored Labrador. He handed the animal over to Oliver, cautioning the little boy to hold tight but to watch his own injured paw.
“Is his leg hurt?”
“I think just a sore paw. Nothing appears to be broken. Now, I’m not a vet, so I would watch him over the next couple of days. Give him water and small amounts of food.”
“I’m going to name him Buddy.” Oliver leaned down and the puppy licked his cheek.
“I think that’s a real good name. Now, don’t forget to keep your hand clean and dry. Lissa will watch for infection.” Doc looked from Lissa to Marcus. “Anything else?”
“I think we’re set.” Marcus picked up the puppy and handed it to Lissa. “You might want to make sure you can have pets.”
“Marcus.” Her warning came too late. He simply hadn’t thought. She’d already told him she couldn’t have pets.
“But Buddy can’t live in an apartment.” Oliver scooted to the edge of the bed. His dark eyes were bright with tears. “He’s a country dog and he wants to stay here. He likes to run in fields and play fetch.”
“Oliver.” Marcus shook his head. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You’re my dad.” Oliver sobbed into Marcus’s side. “I want to ride horses and learn to rope.”
“You’ll get to do those things,” Marcus promised. “And I’ll learn when to keep my mouth shut.”
Doc Parker stood at the door watching them. “On-the-job training is how parents learn. You can buy books, attend seminars, but none of it is going to make sense without real-life experience.”
Marcus picked up Oliver, holding him as Lissa stood back, the puppy wiggling in her arms.
The whole situation seemed more complicated than ever. Because they were all in over their heads and feeling things they hadn’t expected to feel.
Chapter Fourteen
Marcus pulled up to the community church as the bell pealed across the countryside. He loved the sound of church bells. The good old country kind that a person could hear a mile away on a clear summer morning. As he got out of his truck, he spotted Essie. Lissa and Oliver had just arrived, as well.
Oliver saw him, said something to Lissa and then ran for Marcus. Little arms went around Marcus’s waist, holding tight. Who would have thought in the matter of a few weeks that hi
s son’s hugs would change everything for him?
“Can I see Buddy today?” Oliver asked when Marcus picked his son up.
“I think that’s an option, little man. Alex and Marissa invited us for lunch, and Buddy is there waiting to see you. How’s your hand?”
Oliver held out his hand, palm up. Marcus had to give Doc credit, his seams could rival the ones sewn by the quilting circle.
“Lissa said you had to doze down your house. Does that mean knock it down to the ground?” Oliver looked at him, eyes narrowed.
“I’m afraid so.”
“Will you build a new one for us to live in?” Oliver asked, the question coming out of left field.
Marcus stopped walking toward the church to stare down into dark eyes that matched his. “I haven’t really decided. I loved that old farmhouse. It meant a lot to me.”
“If you build a new house, can Lissa live there, too?” Oliver asked. “Is it going to be a big house? With a dog door for Buddy and Lucky? And I’ll have a bedroom they can sleep in. And Lissa can have her own room.”
Marcus lowered Oliver so the two of them could walk side by side. He had to admit, he liked it when his son tried to match small steps to Marcus’s larger steps.
“I’m sure it can have a dog door.” He avoided answering the question about Lissa. He also wouldn’t say yes to the dogs sleeping with Oliver, although he figured it would probably happen.
“I bet I could crawl through a dog door,” Oliver continued, totally oblivious to the fact that Marcus was lost in thought. “Knock knock.”
Marcus jerked his thoughts back to the present and his son. “Who’s there?”
“Dog.”
“Dog who?”
Oliver stopped walking. “Dog who got stuck in the doggy door.”
“I think you’re totally missing the point of knock-knock jokes,” Marcus told him. “Hurry up, we’ll be late for church.”
Lissa and Essie had gone on ahead of them and were now waiting on the church steps. Lissa looked... He paused because he had to decide how she looked. Like a painting, that was how he had to describe her as she stood on the steps of the church, the breeze lifting her hair around her face, her expression soft as she watched Oliver. The face of a mother.
The face of a woman that in any other lifetime he would have fallen in love with. He guessed a man couldn’t have everything. He could dream. If it was that easy, he’d dream himself up as a man who could be the person she wanted in her life.
“Lissa, we’re going to Alex’s for lunch today.” Oliver reached for her hand as they hurried up the stairs.
Marcus watched as she bent to talk to Oliver, straightening his collar and brushing a hand through his hair. When she looked up, her eyes were misty with unshed tears. He couldn’t be the man she was looking for, but he could do one thing for her. He could make sure she felt secure with Oliver.
They sat with Marcus’s family. It wasn’t easy to focus on the sermon. Not with Oliver and Lissa next to him, knowing that he had to take care of things. Today. If they continued on the way they were, it would only get more difficult. He wouldn’t want to let go. Funny that the sermon should be about letting go. Letting go of our dreams in exchange for God’s plans. Letting go of insecurities for the peace that God gives. Letting go of fear, because we are more than conquerors through Christ who strengthens us.
But the sermon was also about allowing God to be in control. That was the part he had a hard time with. His entire childhood had been controlled by a man with a quick temper and a hard fist. He was old enough and had come far enough in his faith to understand that God gave free will. It was still difficult to let God take control of his life.
He didn’t feel good about the fact that he’d never been so glad to have a sermon end. When he got up to head out, Essie followed.
“Ants in your pants?” she asked.
“Aunt in my business?” he whispered back.
She laughed. “That’s a good one. And you bet I’m in your business. I didn’t pay enough attention when you were young, so I have a lot of lost time to make up for.”
“I’m fine. And you paid plenty of attention. When he allowed it.”
“The sermon was about control. That bothers you, doesn’t it?”
“Not at all.” He stopped to look around for Oliver. His son was talking to Lucy and Dane’s daughter Issy.
“That boy is something else. If you mess this up, Marcus, I’m not sure what I’ll do with you.”
“I’m not going to mess this up. I’m going to do the right thing for my son. He belongs with Lissa. He deserves the kind of life she can give him. And they deserve a secure, happy life.”
“You’re doing the easy thing for yourself,” Essie snapped. “I have to go. I suddenly have a bad headache.”
She hurried away and he would have guessed her head was just fine. He turned and Lissa was behind him. From her narrow-eyed expression, she’d overheard the conversation with his aunt.
“What is that all about?” she asked.
“No beating around the bush?” Marcus sighed. “I think you and my aunt are cut from the same cloth.”
Her mouth quirked at the corner. “Thank you for the compliment.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Should we talk now or later?” she asked.
“I think later.” He searched the church and spotted Oliver at the doors with Issy. The two were talking, becoming cousins.
He hadn’t thought about it, about the family Oliver had gained when he became part of the Palermos. They’d always been dysfunctional. Growing up, Marcus had been a pariah of sorts. He had gotten used to the fact that girls wanted to date him because they’d considered him a bad boy. Parents hadn’t wanted their daughters to be seen with him.
He searched for his sisters and saw them talking with people from church. Alex and Marissa had taught children’s church today. When had this happened? When had they all become so functional and respected? They were a family. A good family.
“Are you okay?” Lissa asked.
“I’m good, just had a moment.” Nothing had changed in that moment. It had just been a realization of sorts. “I think it would be easier if you go sooner rather than later.”
“You want us to leave?”
“Isn’t that your plan? To leave today?”
She looked confused. “Yes, of course. We can leave right after lunch. But I’m not telling Oliver. That’s on you.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll tell him. And it’s June. We can spend more time together this summer. Before school starts in August.”
“Of course you can.”
He had avoided relationships for most of his life, but he knew an angry woman when he saw one. He decided escape was his best bet. “I’ll meet you at the ranch.”
He watched as she went to gather up Oliver. She bent to tell him they were leaving. He heard her tell him they would see Issy at Alex and Marissa’s. Marcus joined them, thinking he might be able to make it easier.
“We have to leave now?” Oliver complained as they crossed the lawn to the parking lot. He was glancing back, looking for all of his new friends.
“You want to see Buddy, don’t you?” Marcus asked.
Oliver nodded, but he didn’t look too thrilled, or convinced. “Issy said she’d show me her pony again.”
Marcus helped Oliver into the rental car. “I bet she will. How’s that hand?”
Oliver looked at his hand. “It’s still good. I bumped it and thought it would bleed again. But it didn’t. Does that mean I can ride a horse?”
“I’m not sure. It might. I’ll meet you at Alex’s.” He closed the door and Lissa was still standing there, her expression thoughtful. “What?”
She shrugged. “I think you want us to leave because you don’t want to say goodbye. You love him.”
“He’s my son.”
Her gaze softened. “Oh, Marcus, you’re such an idiot.”
“Yeah, I guess I am.” He kissed her cheek. “Meet you at the ranch.”
He walked away, wishing he didn’t have to. He wished he could be the hero who saved the day. Just once. He didn’t want to be the man who always felt as if he’d failed the people in his life. He wanted to be the dad a son could count on. Lissa made him want to be the man a woman could count on.
The ride to the ranch took fifteen minutes. It felt more like an hour. As he pulled up to the ranch, he saw Lissa getting out of the car, then glancing into the back seat. The wind lifted her hair and swirled her floral skirt around her legs.
He headed her way to see if she needed help.
She was the one thing he knew he wouldn’t get past. He’d dealt with his childhood, the loss of his voice, his parents. But her... He shook his head as he got out of his truck. He wouldn’t get over her.
* * *
Marcus walked up behind her and peered over her shoulder.
“He needs a nap. He hasn’t been sleeping well,” Lissa said, indicating the sleeping child in the back seat.
Marcus nodded, understanding. He hadn’t been sleeping so well himself. “I’ll carry him inside.”
He scooped his son up from the booster in the back seat of the car. Lissa hurried ahead of him to open the front door so that he could carry Oliver inside. Maria had gotten to the house early and she brought a blanket to cover her nephew.
“Where’s Jake?” Marcus asked quietly.
“On his way back from visiting his parents. Marcus, give him a chance. He wants to talk to you all.”
“I am giving him a chance. I just don’t want you to be hurt.”
She kissed his cheek. “I won’t be hurt. I love him and he loves me. This is the right plan for my life. I know where I’m going and what God wants. And Jake is part of the plan. We aren’t rushing into anything, but we know what we want.”
“Good.” He gave her a quick hug. “But tell him he owes us a conversation, Alex and me.”
“Of course he does.” She glanced down at her sleeping nephew and her lips pulled up. “He’s not just an eavesdropper. He is a blabbermouth.”
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