Derek took up my hand, kissing it a million times, apologizing between each kiss.
Why was everyone apologizing so damn much? They had nothing to—
Suddenly, a terrible thought hit me. What if they hadn’t saved my life? What if I was a vampire?
“Derek,” I said. “Am I dead?
He pressed his lips together. “I don’t know,” he said finally.
Ice water drenched my veins. I was dead. I gasped for breath, over and over. My head spun. I was dead.
“I’m getting Lucas,” he said. He dashed out of the room and reappeared five seconds later with Lucas by his side. All thoughts stopped when I saw him, all concern or remnants of pain. In that moment, it didn’t matter if I was dead or not. Lucas was there. He was hugging me, within a breath.
I hugged him back, smiling even though the force of his arms was hurting a little.
“You’re moving,” he said hoarsely. “You can move?”
I nodded, crying. He wiped the tears from my cheeks and kissed them. He put his forehead against mine, and I felt the warmth sink into my skin. It felt warmer than normal.
“I love you, Faith,” he whispered. “You can never know how much.”
I smiled. “I think I have an idea.”
Derek cleared his throat pointedly. Lucas pulled back and sat down on the bed, motioning for Derek to come closer. He sat in the armchair next to my bed, still looking worried.
Then I remembered that I might be dead.
I gulped and looked over at Lucas. “I don’t feel dead,” I whispered. “But I remember her biting me. I remember Derek’s wrist bleeding.” Derek nodded, confirming it.
Lucas took up my hand. “You’re not dead, baby. It’s only been six days, not even close to the full moon.”
“But she bit me,” I protested. “I remember being paralyzed.”
“You were,” Lucas said. “But then Derek fed you some of his blood.”
I looked at Derek, who nodded again. “Remember when I told you I gave Katie some of my blood to test?” he asked.
I wrinkled my eyes up, trying to remember.
“Well, she did,” Derek continued without me. “I asked her to do it. I wanted to know what it would do to a human if they drank it. Turns out, it heals. It’s like antivampire blood.”
I gaped. “Why didn’t you tell me this?”
“Because I was trying to keep it secret from the vampires. I thought if they knew what I could do, they’d want to use me like you always said they were. I didn’t want you knowing about it. It could have put you in danger.”
“So you healed me?” I asked, amazed.
“Yeah,” Derek said and shrugged. But his expression was anything but nonchalant. I’d never seen so much love pouring out of one being before—not even Lucas.
“Thank you,” I said, thinking that those silly little words were nothing compared to the gratitude I felt.
“Don’t,” he murmured, looking away. “You almost died because of me.”
“I’m alive because of you, Derek.”
“You don’t get it.” He looked up at me urgently in his eyes. “After we . . . ended things, I went back to the vampires and I found out that they were looking for you after all. I knew they were planning to turn you for some reason and I didn’t do a thing. I—I even told them about your power.” He must have seen the hurt on my face because he tried to defend himself. “I was mad at you for what happened between us. For still loving him after how bad he hurt you.” I cast a glance at Lucas and saw him hang his head. Derek continued, “I was so mad. But I swear, I never thought they’d go through all that trouble to find you—just to turn you. Once I told them about your power, though, you became their main focus. I’d never forgive myself if I let them turn you. This life—it’s not one I’d wish on my worst enemy, let alone you.
“But I was being proud. I didn’t want to go crawling back to you. Again. So I tried to just call you, tried to protect you without you knowing it. But you wouldn’t talk to me, and it was only a matter of time before they got to you. So I realized I had to have a plan. That time on the football field? I wasn’t just trying to warn you, I was trying to tell you what I had planned, what I could do . . . but then you kind of surprised me with that whole I’m-the-reason-you’re-like-this thing, and I got distracted. By the time I got over it, it was too late. Melissa got into your dorm and killed that Kira girl and I knew you were done for.”
“I still don’t get it, though,” I said. “What was your plan?”
Derek smiled ruefully. “I was going to bring you to the lair myself and pretend to turn you. It sort of worked at first, but Lucas changed and things went a little nuts.”
“How was I supposed to know what you were doing?” Lucas grumbled.
“It wasn’t your fault,” Derek said. “I should have told you guys what I had planned. It’s just that after the pack was all ‘we don’t need help from a mutant traitor,’ I was reluctant to ask for your help.” He shrugged and Lucas nodded understandingly.
“I still don’t get it,” I said, irritated that I was so slow. “How could you pretend to bite me? They know you don’t have venom.”
Derek contemplated me, and leaned in. “I can change forms,” he said intently.
I blinked. “Duh. How does that explain anything?”
Derek frowned and waved me away. “No, you don’t get it. I can change into anything.”
Silence echoed through my brain.
“It’s not just wolves. I can shift into anything I want, so long as it’s got a heartbeat.”
“But vampires don’t have heartbeats,” I protested.
“Yeah, well, I can’t be sure of course, but I think the reason I can shift into them is because I’m part vampire. Like my brain works the same way as theirs or something.”
“I guess that makes sense.” I lay back on the pillows, reeling. “Wow. . . .”
“Faith?” Lucas put his hand on my forehead. It was so hot, like a blanket of sticky magma. “Are you okay?” He turned to Derek. “Maybe we should wait to tell her everything else. She needs to rest.”
I sat up suddenly. “No, tell me. I can handle it.” I didn’t know how true that was, but the curiosity was killing me. “Okay, so the plan was to knock Calvin out and switch forms with him, and then pretend to kidnap/turn me, right?”
“Yeah,” Derek said.
“But, wouldn’t the vampires figure out that you weren’t Calvin? I mean, can’t they smell that stuff? And the eyes were different, too. How’d you keep them from noticing?”
A smile spread across Derek’s pale lips. “That’s the other thing I never told you guys. I can use hypnotics. And not just on humans, but on vampires and werewolves, too.”
This was just getting weirder and weirder, but I went with it to speed his explanation along. “So, you hypnotized the vampires into believing you were Calvin?”
“No, I hypnotized them into thinking Calvin was me. The problem wasn’t getting them to believe I was Calvin. They don’t pay much attention to each other, but I definitely think they’d notice two Calvins running around. So I made them see Calvin as me, and I shifted into Calvin’s form.”
“Why not just hypnotize them into believing you were Calvin, and save yourself the trouble of changing into him?”
He puffed a laugh. “I’m not that strong, Faith.” He grinned at my scowl. “It takes a lot of concentration to hypnotize that many people, and the more things I need to hide, the harder it is. I had to practice for weeks on humans to get this good. And I needed to hypnotize Calvin, too, so he would do whatever I wanted. He was like a puppet. It was freaking great.” He leaned back in his chair, smirking. “The only bad part was that ... well, I have to drink human blood in order to use hypnotics. A lot of it. And I didn’t have enough donated stuff left, so I had to use a few pets. I could have used just one, I guess, but I didn’t want to accidentally kill anyone, so I used three.”
I wrinkled my nose at that, but didn�
�t say anything. It had been necessary. I certainly wasn’t going to admonish him for it. I felt sorry for whatever pets had been forced to give blood, but if they’d had the same experience I’d had with Derek’s fangs, they couldn’t have been too broken up about it.
“So,” I said. “Once you’d bitten me in front of everyone, you’d what? Hypnotize them into thinking I’d been turned?”
Derek nodded. “Yeah, which is another reason why I wanted to shape-shift into Calvin instead of using more hypnotics.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Does it weaken you like it does for the vampires?”
He made a face. “In a way. It makes me vulnerable to silver. I felt it last night, when I was fighting. I kept getting hurt worse than usual, and the wounds wouldn’t heal quickly. Some still haven’t closed completely.” I noticed his arms were still wrapped in bandages even after six days. “But it was worth it,” he said. “It was a perfect plan. The hypnotics and the shape-shifting. And if you got hurt, I’d have your blood in me to heal you. I—I gotta admit I was a little scared about that part. I wasn’t sure it would work. I mean, Katie said it would, but it was scary as hell waiting for you to wake up.” He made a pained face, and I put my hand on his arm. “And, I think the blood might have had some side effects.”
“What?” I gasped. “Why do you say that?”
Derek looked to Lucas for help.
Lucas took up my hand, rubbing the top of it softly. “Feel how hot I am?”
I nodded.
“That’s because you’re a little colder than normal. It’s nothing to be upset about, but you’re temperature has been in the seventies for a few days now. And ... ah, you look a little different.”
“Bad? Am I all pale and icky?”
Derek sulked.
“Sorry,” I said quickly. “But am I?”
Lucas kissed my cheeks. “Just a little. Nothing a trip to San Diego won’t cure.”
“Can I even go in the sun?”
“Sure you can,” he said. “You’re fine. Totally and completely fine. The vampire venom will burn itself out as Derek’s venom cleanses it. And, ah—there’s another benefit. According to Katie, you’re immune to further infection from vampires.”
“What?” I sputtered. “How—I don’t understand.”
“Neither do we,” Derek said. “Katie’s the chemist here, not us. She says that something about the integration of my blood with yours ... I dunno, it like, reproduces or something so that when your body makes new blood cells, my blood sticks to them and keeps you safe forever. It’s a permanent cure.”
So Derek was a part of me. Forever. I didn’t need his blood inside me to know that much, but the fact that there’d always be a little of him in me . . . it was enough to get me choked up.
Derek’s lips turned up at the edges, in what had to be the most heartbreaking smile I’d ever seen. I wiped the tears out of my eyes and sighed, trying to gather myself.
“What happened after I passed out?” I asked thickly. “I thought I heard the pack. Did I imagine that?”
“No,” Lucas said, and somehow, I didn’t see any of the old jealously or anger in his expression, even after what Derek had said. He just seemed grateful. “It was a miracle,” he continued, “but somehow the pack made it in time. Turns out the vampire lair was in an old water treatment plant about an hour outside of Gould. It was sheer luck that the pack was running near there, looking for the lair, actually. They should have been in Denver, but after the attack on CSU, they figured it might be somewhere close by. And we have you to thank. Julian said you called him.”
“Yeah,” I said. “He got the GPS thingy?”
Lucas nodded. “Smart thinking.”
I blushed, which felt really warm on my cheeks. This was going to take some getting used to.
“So the pack came,” I prompted. “And they killed the brood?”
“Most of them,” Lucas said. “Arabella is dead, but a few of the lesser vampires got away in the scuffle. If we’d had the whole pack there, they would have been annihilated.” He sighed wistfully.
I glanced nervously at Derek, wondering if he was upset that his vampire buddies had been killed by the pack.
“Are you okay?” I asked him. “About everything?”
Derek met my gaze, steady and resolute. “Yes. I’m glad those guys are gone. I was such an idiot. I didn’t realize they were the bad guys. I didn’t realize they really were using me.”
“Using you?” I asked. A glimmer of hope shone in my chest. Had Lucas and I been right all along? “To get to me?”
“No, actually. Ah . . . it turns out all my lying and sneaking around, trying to keep my abilities a secret was useless. The vampires found out what my blood can do. I don’t know how they figured it out, but they did. That’s why they were so nice to me. You were right, Faith. They were just using me.”
Somehow the triumphant I-told-you-so speech I’d had planned for this moment, just didn’t fit. It felt mean now, when Derek looked so dejected.
I just shrugged and gave him what I hoped was a comforting smile.
“So, when I went back to them, after you and Lucas made up,” Derek continued, “Arabella told me everything. I think she wanted to make sure I stuck with her this time. I don’t know. Anyway, she told me that the reason they’d been building their numbers, wasn’t so that they could rise up against the werewolves like you thought. It was so that they could finally come out of hiding. They wanted to take their places as the ‘superior race.’ Take over, basically. But they knew the werewolves would eventually find out what they were doing and try to stop them. Most of the brood thought they’d win for sure, but Arabella knew better. She convinced the Ancestors that they’d never beat the werewolves with the numbers they had, and the Ancestors agreed to test their plan first. So they started in small towns like Fort Collins, where a string of unexplained murders wouldn’t cause too much of a stir worldwide.”
I remembered Lucas telling me in the car about how this sort of thing was happening all over the world, and I looked over at him to see that he was nodding gravely. It all added up.
“But they ran into problems,” Derek went on. “They underestimated the humans. When the national news started covering the murders they had to stop. Then, after I woke up and they met me, figured out what my blood did, they realized I could be the key to their uprising. They wanted to use my blood as an antidote to their venom—that way the younglings wouldn’t kill their victims and leave them all over the place, which would keep their plan a secret from the wolves long enough for them to gain the upper hand.”
Derek shifted in his chair, watching me as though I might break at any moment. “You okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine. Just processing. Continue.”
“Okay, so Arabella told me all of that stuff, told me how special I was, and whatever. So I asked her why she didn’t just create another viran? Another one of my kind. But apparently, it doesn’t work the same way every time. It depends on how much blood you drink—where the werewolf bites you, if it happens on the full moon, or not. It all changes the chemistry of the infection. They agreed that trying to create more creatures like me would only complicate things given how powerful I am.” A shadow crossed Derek’s features and he said. “Some wanted to try, though. Start capturing humans and doing experiments. They were gonna kill the failed attempts so there weren’t a bunch of superpowerful hybrids running around. The only reason they didn’t was because I told them I don’t know what kills me. Silver is nothing and a stake, I can heal from. I have a feeling decapitation might be the only way.” He rubbed his neck absently. “But I’m not about to try it. Just in case.”
Derek shook his head, leaning back in his seat with his hands tucked under his armpits. “If they can figure out how to kill me—or the other hybrids—they might start experimenting. For now, though, I’m the only one who can help the vampires take over. All they need is enough of my blood to fill a vial, and then they can start reproducing i
t in a lab or whatever. Katie said she doesn’t know how to do it, but there is a way. And if they get my blood, they’ll sure as hell figure it out.”
He looked away now, anger and fear written all over his face; his vibe, too, was a mishmash of emotions, changing so quickly I couldn’t pin them.
“They’re dead now,” I said, trying to comfort him. “You don’t have to worry about them anymore.”
Derek sniffed with bitter laughter. “Faith, the plan went all the way up to the Ancestors. Fort Collins was just a test run. The same thing is happening in other towns all over the world. Once the Ancestors find out that Arabella’s brood failed to recruit me, they’ll come for me and take my blood by force. And there’s no place on earth I can hide. Not from five of the strongest, oldest vampires in the world.”
“We’ll think of something,” I said, though even I could hear how frail my voice sounded. “We have to.”
Lucas wrapped me in his arms, murmuring sweet things that almost made me feel better. He was so hot, scorching me, and I loved it. It was the best, warmest most amazing feeling in the world, and I was so glad I was alive to feel it.
That I still loved him.
I heard Derek’s chair scuff against the carpet as he stood. “I’ll, ah . . . give you guys a minute.”
But, I pulled away from Lucas. “No,” I said, glancing between the two of them anxiously. “Actually, I want to talk to you. Alone. Ah . . . if that’s okay.” I looked tentatively at Lucas and he nodded, giving my hand a brief squeeze as he walked away. Derek’s face was stained red from Lucas’s room, and he watched me worriedly from beside the bed. “Sit,” I said.
He obeyed and leaned in, his forearms resting on his knees. “You’re not going to yell at me are you? Because I know how stupid I’ve been—about everything and I—”
“Stop,” I said, holding up a hand. “It’s not about that. We all made mistakes. If we’d all just been honest with each other, I think a lot of what happened could have been prevented. But we’re okay—for now.” I sat up a little straighter, trying to gather myself. “What I have to say to you isn’t about what happened. It’s an apology.”
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