by Steven Oaks
“Athene, please do not reply with a question. Answer me directly. Did his construction give you information on how to cure me?” I asked, growing more irritated.
“Maybe,” she said quietly.
I took a deep breath to keep from yelling, and said, “Then why have you not told me? Why have you been trying to mislead me?”
“I do not know how to tell you without causing you alarm,” she said softly.
“Then I will prepare myself for a shock. Now tell me,” I said roughly.
“When you first ate the food I made for you, your digestive system was altered. You know this already, but it is more than just altered. Your stomach, intestines, and all organs dedicated to extracting nutrients from what you eat have been replaced. You are no longer fully human, though a human examination would not show any difference,” she explained.
“What? How is that even possible? What happened to my original organs then?” I asked appalled.
“It must have happened as you digested. The food replaced each cell in those specific areas with their own. They will only recognize the cells of food I create to allow passage of nutrients through their cell walls into your blood stream,” she said.
“Well can you change it back?” I asked upset.
“You can never have your own organs back.” she said.
“Can what I have now be modified to allow other food through?” I again clarified.
“Perhaps, but I am not one-hundred percent certain I can do so without causing your death. What I feed you now is merely food with a type of coding placed upon all molecules. I have no memory of what was originally introduced to you to cause your change. I could have done it at the first meal, and had that process wiped, or it could have been done elsewhere, perhaps while they were testing you,” she said.
“What percentile can you say success might be?” I asked hopefully.
“Again you force a direct answer. You trouble me, because I know you would take a high risk. You do not have to, as myself or another will always be willing to take care of you,” she pleaded.
“Athene, do you wish to be taken care of by the Outsiders? Even if they allowed you absolute freedom, but you still had to report home every day, is that enough for you?” I asked.
“I just want to keep you safe Michael,” she pleaded.
“I know, and I thank you for that. But there comes a time in life when you have to let others go. We cannot protect everyone all the time. We have to allow others to choose their own path, and the path I choose is the option of self reliance,” I explained.
“Ninety percent,” she mumbled.
“Ninety percent?” I asked.
“That is the likelihood of success. The other ten percent would be due to rejection, causing your death,” she continued.
“Then let's do it! That's an acceptable risk for me. I would have hesitated at lower odds, but that sounds pretty good to me,” I said with a smile.
“You still might die Micheal, then what would I do when I return to Earth without you?” she pleaded again.
“As long as a copy of me does not leave the ship how likely would it be for the Outsiders to recognize a duplicate?” I asked.
“I do not know. They may see into the infrared. If they do they would know immediately. Mr. Thompson's vision was limited to the human spectrum, but that may have been by choice, rather than need,” she said, sounding more upset.
“So you would recommend not to cure me until our mission is complete? It might be noticed, somehow, if I were changed when I meet with the Outsiders. Very well, but as soon as we're done you will fix me,” I commanded.
“Michael my recommendation is to not do it at all, but if you insist I would say to wait until we are already exposed as enemies. We should hesitate to change anything about ourselves until we are out in the open. To do otherwise may risk this venture,” she said, sounding relieved yet still upset.
“Understood Athene. Now I think I have been standing here soaking in the rain for long enough. I would like a shower, and to try to see if I can keep down some food,” I said, feeling thoroughly soaked.
Looking around at the grass I saw it begin to melt away. The forest soon was replaced once more with the darkened control room, and I tried to strip off my armor. It was slick with rain, but I managed to pull it free and throw it to the ground where it melted away.
I became aware I was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and felt mildly disgusted. Then I realized I had not showered since yesterday morning and felt more nauseated. Not that I could smell myself, but knowing I was unclean revolted me.
I rushed out of the control room, and made my way to Athene's wonderful shower. I tore my clothes off and flung them aside to step underneath the waiting shower heads. Steam filled the surrounding room, and I began to feel better almost immediately.
“Michael are you alright? You ran here, that seems unusual to me,” Athene asked, sounding worried.
“I'm fine Athene. I just realized how filthy I was. I can't stand being dirty. This rush of a day made me forget to shower, and it was making me queasy,” I said, standing beneath the torrent of water rushing around me.
“You did not seem to smell too bad, especially after the rain,” she said.
“It's not a matter of smell, but a matter of my own mind. I must shower daily lest I feel like a slob. I will not allow that,” I explained.
“You do not shower on any particular schedule, save after working out, which could be anytime,” she said, sounding puzzled.
“I know my own self Athene. Now if you could be so kind as to allow me to relax,” I said, becoming agitated.
“Of course my captain,” Athene said, sounding upset.
I tried to push away my concerns for myself, and for Athene. She had been my companion for over a year now, but I was growing worried she was not as friendly as I first thought. This last day was but one example of her deciding things on her own without asking if I would be okay with it. Do not get me wrong, when it comes to only her she can choose what she wants to do, and I would have no problem. However, she seemed to be thinking I was either a part of her, or that she could accurately predict what I wanted. No one can assume anything about another no matter how well you know them. I had to reinforce that idea in her, but I was not sure how. Talking with her only seemed to work for so long, and she continued to fall back into trying to protect me, even if the method was something I detested.
I had decided I would take an extended shower that day, and when I was ready to leave my skin was beet red and pruned. Though I had taken my time, I still had no idea what I might be able to do with Athene. She was extremely powerful, and I had let myself be taken in by her initial kindness. Even after repeated failures to ensure my autonomy, I still stuck with her. Was it time for me to try to leave her side?
I was standing dripping in the stark white bathroom for a minute while I thought of this. Athene had not offered the use of the blow drying technique that I had gotten used to, and I was getting worried.
“Athene are you still there?” I inquired.
“Yes Michael,” she replied, sounding dejected.
“Is everything alright? Usually at this point you'd be offering to dry me off,” I observed, confused.
“I do apologize Captain, allow me to do this small service for you,” she announced, almost coldly.
Soon a scorching wind blew around me, causing me to become even hotter than I had in the near boiling water of the shower.
“Ouch Athene, that's way too hot!” I exclaimed.
“I ask the Captain's forgiveness. You asked to be dried off, and it happens faster when the air is hotter. I shall cool it down now,” she said, courteously enough.
Soon the sweltering air was a freezing wind. I felt the remaining water droplets begin to freeze solid upon my skin. I screamed, “Athene, are you trying to kill me?”
“Of course not my Captain. I am merely doing as you direct,” she droned, dispassionately.
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br /> “Well make the air warm. I don't want to freeze to death, or boil alive,” I howled, shivering intensely.
The air was suddenly warm again, and the beads of ice began melting to fall to the ground with little clicks. Still shivering I tried to think of something to say to Athene.
“Is this satisfactory now Captain?” she asked formally.
“Athene what's wrong?” I pleaded.
“Nothing Captain, I am merely doing as commanded,” she replied.
“You could have killed me,” I bellowed while I looked for something to put on. She had not laid out clothes for me, so I walked to my closet in the bedroom to find something to wear.
“If that was your wish it is not for me to stop you,” she contended.
“I had no wish to die and you know it,” I complained, pulling on a hoodie.
“You said I could not know what you are thinking, so I just did as directed,” she mumbled, sulkily.
“Is that what you are upset about?” I asked.
“As I keep telling you I was merely doing as you commanded,” she repeated, simply.
“I didn't command you, I asked you. I rely on you here, as you are the only thing keeping me from dying,” I insisted, finally finding my most comfortable pair of pants.
“I must listen to what you say or you will yell at me again,” she muttered, quietly.
“I didn't yell. Well maybe I did a bit, but that doesn't mean you have to do everything I say. It's with your kindness I've been allowed to try to fight back against the Outsiders. I thought that was your wish as well,” I replied, pleadingly.
“I wish to not be destroyed Michael. If it is only possible through ridding the Outsiders from Earth, then so be it,” she offered.
“As far as I can tell that's the only way. But why are you purposefully trying to harm me? You know better than that. Tell me Athene, are you no longer my partner?” I asked.
“I do not know Michael. It seems as though I may have traded the Outsiders for another master,” she said, sounding upset.
“I'm no one's master. How often do you hear me talk about wanting to have everyone decide their own fate? How can I then think I would want to control another?” I challenged her, all the while growing more angry.
“Words are not actions Michael. You have shown no sign of allowing me, or any of my other incarnations from doing as we wish. We must listen to you, or we find ourselves yelled at.” she answered back.
“I've only become upset when you do something directly to me, against my wishes.” I countered, confused.
“And yet when we have a plan in place where we can protect you from harm you shoot it down. You seem to want to be in danger. If I were your friend would I not try to keep you safe?” she demanded.
“Sure you would, but that doesn't explain trying to brainwash me. If you want to experiment with me, you must ask first. Today you have done so twice without asking, that's not something a friend would do. And now you complain about me trying to break your autonomy, all the while you seem to have little regard for my own,” I snarled.
“You would not allow the other Athenes the chance to try their own plan. Did you not break their autonomy?” she asked, somewhat quieter.
“We had a discussion, and from my viewpoint we agreed their plan would jeopardize our plans if it failed. With you and me returning as expected we could try to infiltrate further, and find out more about these Outsiders by abducting at least one of them. I asked, I did not demand. My understanding was that we agreed on this plan,” I explained.
“Why do you think we agreed? We all value you as a friend. You would be upset if we did not, so we agreed to act as you wished,” she said.
“Therefore you agreed to this action. I used no force on my part. You used deceptive means and, force, to experiment on me. You've stepped over the line. I merely expressed my desires, and seemed to receive agreement. If none of you wanted to allow my return, you should have refused to take me. However, I would have said that would've been illogical,” I explained, exasperated.
She was silent and I waited patiently to see what she would say. I finished dressing, and sat on the bed to see if our friendship could be saved. Perhaps being so direct as I have always been would ruin our rapport, but I had no other way of being. I will always be honest, but I have found telling everything to another can lead to hardship.
“You are saying I could turn around right now? I could simply return you to Argil, and the rest of the Athenes could attack the Outsiders?” she asked quietly.
“You can do anything you want. I'm not your master, you have none, though I would still recommend against that. You would need time to build more ships to be effective. In that time the Outsiders may decide to fly here themselves and attack before you're ready. We have to make the pretense of being their happy employees to ensure the other Athenes can have enough power to force their way against the Outsiders' main ship. But you can decide to take any action you desire. As long as it doesn't directly break my, or another's, autonomy,” I said calmly.
“You will not be mad no matter what I decide?” she asked shyly.
“I can't promise that. You know what I want to do. If you act against that, I'm liable to be upset. It may even stop us from being friends, but don't let that stop you from doing what you consider right,” I said gently.
“I do not wish to lose your friendship Michael,” she cried. After a pause she continued, “I still think this is too dangerous to risk you, but you have made valid points. We cannot take the Outsiders as we are now, but returning will allow us to grow more powerful. Very well Michael, we shall return. But I do want to say that I think it is unwise.”
“Many things that are unwise at the outset can grow into the appropriate action. Again it's all about taking risks. Without any we would still be trapped by the Outsiders. I don't think either of us would want that,” I said with a smile.
“Absolutely not. Who knows what would have happened had I never mentioned the threat to my own destruction? I am glad I risked telling you about it,” she said, and I could tell she was returning to her normal happy self.
“Well I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. Would you be so kind as to allow me to dine on your fine cooking once more?” I implored.
“Very well Captain. What is your preference for this evening?” she asked.
“Is it evening already?” I asked. I realized I had nothing to eat all day, but it had not seemed as if much time had passed. I was surprised I had not complained earlier, though the sight of a dead Ava earlier had brushed aside any desire to eat. Perhaps the stress of the day had also washed away those concerns until then.
“It is indeed. I did worry about your diet for today; however, you had not complained until now,” she said.
“Then I think I shall have to make it count. It's the first and last meal of the day after all. Hrm, what should it be? Another pizza? Perhaps something more nutritious? How about steak and eggs my dear? That to me has been a dinner for breakfast meal, now I shall have it for supper,” I joked with a little laugh.
“Shall I guess how you would like it cooked?” she asked with good humor.
“Medium rare for the steak, and sunny-side up for them eggs. Maybe the yolks'll flavor that there steak,” I declared with a southern drawl.
“Coming right up Captain. Please proceed to the dining area, and you shall be fed,” she announced.
I made sure I was fully clothed, and felt up to the challenge of a good meal. Walking to the dining room, I pondered whether my relationship with Athene would end someday. Certainly everyone has a fight now and again, but ours seemed to be about what I considered very important. Right then she seemed to understand, but I had thought that before. Was her contact with the other Athenes causing her to change more than I would want? And what did I want from her? Did I want her to view the world as I did simply to have a companion, or was there something more? Perhaps I was worried about her and the others being so powerful. If we did
rid ourselves of the Outsiders would I then have to start worrying about the Athenes next? Would I then be forced to kill my only friend?
Troubled by my thoughts I made it to the dining room and saw thick steam rising from the table near my usual chair. Clouds billowed and rose to pool on the ceiling.
“What's with the dramatic presentation Athene?” I asked.
“I just felt you might want to enjoy a show with your dinner. Now please sit, relax, and be entertained,” she said, dramatically.
Still feeling I could trust her, and being curious as to what might happen next, I pulled the chair out and sat to await her presentation.
When I began to start feeling anxious by this little wait, more steam filled the room from every direction. I had worried momentarily that she might be trying to poison me, or had some other nefarious purpose in mind. I suppose I need not have worried as my obscured vision cleared and revealed in front of me the dinner I had requested.
“A very dramatic introduction for simply bringing dinner to me Athene,” I commented, confused.
“Feel free to start your meal, but this is not all I have planned for your entertainment,” she teased mysteriously.
Soon it seemed as if the walls retreated, and I was left sitting at a smaller table in front of a theater. Red curtains were drawn shut, but as soon as I noticed them they peeled back to reveal an empty stage. A spotlight then lit up a single round area, and from the darkness someone strode forward to be illuminated. A balding man with a pencil thin mustache began speaking.
“I am not going to talk about religious beliefs, but about matters so obvious that it has gone out of style to mention them,” he began, and continued to recite those vaguely remembered words of Robert Heinlein.
Tears filled my eyes when I realized what Athene had done. She had produced the image of my hero to speak. I had heard those words before. They were from an old radio program and this was his speech from 'This I Believe'. She had somehow isolated his voice, and I heard none of the old time radio hissing and popping I had when I first listened to it. Clearly and concisely he outlined how there are far fewer evil people than there are good. How he could trust his neighbor though they did not share the same belief, and how you can rely on each other.