Never (The Ever Series Book 2)

by C. J. Valles

  “This is perfect.”

  “It is?”

  I smirk.

  “You know, for never eating, you sure are a food snob.”

  I can’t help it. I just feel better grabbing something to eat outside rather than sitting down at a fancy restaurant and watching Ever not eat. I order a gyro from a Mediterranean-style food cart, and a few minutes later I dig in happily.

  “I hope you won’t mind if I plan something more elaborate for your birthday,” Ever says with a wry smile.

  “You’re the one who gets to watch me eat.”

  After I’ve finished my sandwich, we start walking back in the direction of the parking structure. During the drive home, I start thinking about my birthday. Seventeen. Not exactly ancient, but my mom always says that time begins to move faster the older you get.

  It’s nearly dark by the time we get to my house. As soon as we’re inside, I escape upstairs to brush my teeth and rinse—twice—with mouthwash to eradicate any trace of garlicky hummus. This only takes me a minute, but by the time I get back to the living room, Ever is nowhere in sight. My heart leaps—out of some deep, dark fear that something has happened. Or, worse, that he’s just disappeared … like he did right after we kissed for the first time.

  “Would you dance with me?”

  I spin around and find him behind me holding a single white rose. I’m relieved, but I still wasn’t expecting this.

  “Now? Here?”

  He nods and takes my hand. When he brings me in closer, I swallow.

  “Close your eyes,” he says softly.

  I smile, feeling butterflies swirling in my stomach.

  “Why?”

  He leans down, his lips grazing my ear.

  “Always arguing. Let’s just say I want to try something.”

  I shiver as he grasps my waist. Closing my eyes, I feel a brief sense of floating. When he tells me to open my eyes, I look around and yelp before I can stop myself. We’re not in my living room anymore. Not even close. We’re outside, standing on an expansive deck overlooking the valley floor. Above us, the evening sky is turning quickly from azure to navy, and the scattering of puffy clouds and millions of stars make it look like a painting. Ever is still holding me close, so even as the air grows colder, I don’t feel chilled.

  “Are you okay? Do you feel sick?” he asks.

  I check my head for dizziness, and then my stomach for the usual nausea. I shake my head.

  “I feel fine, but every other time …”

  “Practice makes perfect,” he smiles.

  Ever picks me up and swings me around slowly, and I smile.

  “If my feet never touch the floor, I guess it eliminates the possibility of me stepping on your toes.”

  Looking up at his features illuminated by starlight, I let go of everything else. I’m going to enjoy this moment as though I’m never going to have one like it again.

  11: Something You Can Never Have

  My feeling that everything is right in the world is an impenetrable bubble—with the exception of a tiny voice in my head that keeps telling me it’s all balancing on the head of a pin. Tomorrow night is girls’ night. The week after is the dance. Life feels normal, in a good way … with the exception of French class, which I used to enjoy.

  Walking into Mrs. Gilbert’s classroom, I see Alex is already there with the same expression on his face. I’m beginning to think this has become his permanent state of being—petulant. I sit down next to him, almost hoping he’ll make some sarcastic remark just to dispel the tension of unrelenting silence. He doesn’t, though, and I’m left in the uncomfortable position of watching Stephanie, the girl behind him, gaze with unreserved adoration at the back of his head. I want to scream that he’s a remorseless immortal willing to sell her soul—or anyone else’s—in a heartbeat, but I don’t. Instead, I try to pretend he isn’t there.

  After school, when Ever drives me home, I see my mom’s car in the driveway, which means she hasn’t left for work yet. Walking inside, I call up the stairs to her, even though I can hear the blow dryer going full blast. Dropping my stuff next to the couch, I continue into the kitchen and grab an apple and some yogurt for a snack. When I—jokingly—offer some to Ever, he just smiles before turning to look toward the living room. I stop when I hear my mom singing, and then cringe as she walks into the kitchen. She has no idea we’re here.

  “Ahh!” she shrieks.

  “Those curlers look really good, Mom,” I laugh.

  Mortified, my mom turns to Ever, and then back to me.

  “Wren Sullivan! You have to tell me when there’s someone in the house!”

  Ever smiles innocently.

  “I’ve already forgotten about it.”

  My mom takes a glass from the cupboard and pours herself some water before hurrying out of the kitchen.

  “That’s what I love about your boyfriend, Wren,” she calls over her shoulder. “His tact.”

  I turn to Ever and smile.

  “I thought mothers were supposed to hate their daughters’ boyfriends.”

  “She wants you to be happy.”

  Going over to the sink, I rinse my dishes and then look back at Ever.

  “So? What are you and Chasen going to do while we have girls’ night? Bowling maybe? Poker night with the guys? Facials?”

  The thought of Ever wearing a clay mask or bowling shoes makes me giggle. Poker on the other hand. Well, Josh, Marcus, and Zach would lose a lot of money—or at least their pride—if they played with Ever. When we get upstairs to my room, I leave the door wide open in a clear message to my mom that nothing is going on. I arrange myself on the bed, and Ever sits in the chair at my desk. When my mom comes in a few minutes later, her hair is done, and her makeup is fully applied.

  “All right. I’m off to work. I’ll call to check in. Ever, do your girlfriend’s mother a favor—don’t stay past nine.”

  Ever nods, and my face flushes as my mom kisses me on the forehead.

  “Wait! Mom! Remember, I’m staying over with Audra tomorrow night. I’ll leave her number, just in case, and I’ll have my cell.”

  My mom’s eyes narrow briefly.

  “And what will you be doing tomorrow night, Ever?” she asks wryly, like she thinks this is all an elaborate ploy of ours to sneak off for a night.

  “Wren suggested bowling or facials,” he says with a straight face.

  “Fair enough,” my mom laughs before leaving.

  “Oh, now that wasn’t awkward at all,” I mutter.

  I listen as she walks downstairs and opens the hall closet. At the sound of the doorbell, my heart thumps. I look at Ever, and panic grips me when I register the blank expression on his face. I’m about to jump up and run down the hall when he shakes his head.

  “Is she okay?” I hiss.

  He nods warily, and a second later I nearly jump out of my skin when my mom calls up the stairs. Leaping off the bed, I hurry to the landing, ready for trouble. In the darkest corner of my mind, I keep seeing her being sucked into the blackness of the mirror just before I can reach her. Instead, she’s at the bottom of the steps, looking up at me. I sigh.

  “What’s up, Mom?”

  “I’m waiting for you in the park.” I stiffen when I realize that her eyes are unfocused, like she doesn’t even see me. “Come alone.”

  “Mom?” I ask, trying not to let my voice shake.

  Her eyes suddenly refocus, and she smiles up at me.

  “See you tomorrow, honey! Love you!”

  She walks out the front door, and I turn and see Ever standing just behind me.

  “You saw that?” I demand. “What the hell did he do to my mom?!”

  “She’s fine,” Ever says tonelessly. “He used her as a conduit.”

  I’m already flying down the stairs. At the closet, I jam my feet into my running shoes, not bothering to get a jacket. As I turn, about to launch myself out the front door, I find Ever is standing in front of it. I look up at him, my face set in g
rim determination.

  “Get out of my way.”

  “Wren, he’s trying to provoke a reaction.”

  “Well, mission accomplished! I’m ending this. Now move.”

  After a second, Ever steps out of my way, and I wrench open the door. As soon as I hit the front porch, I’m running. With each step, the hate flows through me with such force that I think it’s possible to destroy Alex with my fury. It’s misting out, but not enough to drench me. I turn at the path, unafraid of the dark. I feel powerful—invincible—in my hatred. It doesn’t matter that my lungs feel like they’re being incinerated. I push myself through the darkness until I see the single streetlamp. Reaching the edge of the playground, I rock to a stop at the sight of Alex sitting at the bench. Slowing my breathing, I walk forward until I’ve reached him.

  “We had a deal,” I hiss. “You weren’t going to touch my mom or my friends.”

  “Have you ever wished for something you could never have?” he asks with such genuine curiosity that for an instant I forget how much I hate him.

  I nod.

  “Then I think we understand each other better than you might imagine,” he says quietly. “And I release you from our deal. You are free …”

  I gawk at him, unsure of what to say. He starts speaking again before I have a chance to turn away.

  “However, you’ll have to forgive me if I choose to remain here, as it has been a long time since I’ve felt so human. I hope you would not begrudge me this small allowance. I will not bother you again, unless you wish for my company.”

  I almost snort at this, but I manage to restrain myself. Then, feeling a sudden coolness at the back of my neck, I reach up and touch the spot where the copper sun had been.

  ***

  “Wren? Are you absolutely sure you know where you’re going?” Ashley asks nervously.

  It’s late Saturday afternoon, and I’m sitting in the passenger seat of Ashley’s car on the way to Ever’s house.

  “It’s not that far. Trust me,” I promise her.

  I smile, but for some reason it feels like I’m leading my friends into the lion’s den rather than to my boyfriend’s house.

  “Slow down! Take a left there!” I point, almost missing the slight break in the trees myself.

  “Where?!” Ashley cries in dismay.

  We pass the turn, and Ashley has to drive another half mile before we find a decent spot to turn around.

  “How many times have you been to his place?” Lindsay asks, leaning into the front seat.

  “A couple.”

  “So? Have you been in his—”

  “There! On the right!” I point.

  Ashley slams on the brakes, and I point again.

  “Are you sure?” she asks again.

  I nod, and she slowly lets up on the brake, veering off the road and into the trees. I look down at my duffle bag, which is wedged between my feet. Audra said we didn’t need sleeping bags, so I only brought pajamas, a change of clothes, and toiletries. With Ashley driving about five miles an hour, it takes longer than usual for the house to come into view. It’s ablaze in lights.

  “Ho-ly cow …” Lindsay says. “I mean, they all dress like runway models, but I didn’t know they were frea-king loaded.”

  Everyone gawks as Ashley parks in front of the house. Looking around, I’m just relieved that, with the exception of Audra’s car, the rest of the collection isn’t on display out front like some eclectic car dealership. We get out, and I look toward the house. Audra, who wasn’t there a moment ago, has appeared on the front steps like magic. Her golden hair is loose, and she’s wearing an ice-blue wrap dress. Without reading anyone else’s mind, I’m pretty sure the rest of us are thinking the same thing.

  “How do you look so perfect all the time? God!” Lindsay squawks.

  “I’m so glad you guys are here! I haven’t had a girls’ night in forever.”

  I look over at her as we walk into the house, wondering how literally she means forever.

  “This house is amazing,” Taylor says.

  Audra smiles.

  “Thanks, but it’s not mine.”

  When we get to the living room, everyone stops and stares at the long black table set up at the back of the room. It has every imaginable category of junk food on display. And there’s a miniature movie theatre set up in front of the enormous sofas.

  “You really went all out, didn’t you?” I say quietly while the others start snagging items off the table.

  “Is everything right?” she asks with uncharacteristic concern—like it’s even possible she could do anything wrong. “Normal, I mean?”

  “Not normal for a sleepover,” I laugh. “It’s a little too perfect.”

  “This is beyond awesome, Audra!” Lindsay says as she stuffs a miniature cupcake into her mouth.

  “Beyond awesome,” I agree.

  I walk over to one of the sofas and flop down, and Audra sits down next to me, beaming at her success. For a few brief moments since the time I first saw her in the cafeteria, I have almost been able to see Audra as a normal human girl. Almost. This is one of those times.

  “Where are the others?” I whisper.

  “Effie is close by. Alistair is keeping an eye on your mom. I don’t know about Ever and Chasen.”

  “Guys’ night out maybe?” I joke, thinking of bowling and facials.

  When the others stop ogling the food and join us, Lindsay starts pulling movies out of her bag.

  “Scary or stupid? Or scary and stupid. Those are pretty much the choices,” she says.

  “Stupid, not scary,” I say quickly.

  “No way! Come on!” Ashley cries. “That’s no fun. Scary all the way.”

  “I’m with Ash,” Lindsay says.

  “Taylor, are you gonna help me out?” I plead.

  “Sorry, Wren. I think I could use a little scare that doesn’t involve my home life.”

  I cringe as I turn to Audra.

  “What about you?”

  She shrugs.

  “Scary it is,” I sigh.

  I really don’t feel like sharing the fact that I spent consecutive nights awake for hours in the fourth grade, thanks to a horror-movie marathon during a sleepover. I haven’t seen a horror movie since. At least until Hell’s Army, which I still consider more of an action movie than strictly horror.

  “So, what’s the deal? Whose place is this?” Lindsay asks. “Do you guys like live here by yourselves or something?

  Sitting on the couch and wrapping an arm around Taylor, I desperately try to think up a cover story in case Audra doesn’t have one.

  “It’s Ever’s father’s house,” she says with such ease that I nearly believe her. “He’s letting us stay here for the rest of the semester.”

  “And speaking of—how do you guys all know each other?” Ashley asks.

  “My parents used to work for the embassy in Switzerland. Ever’s dad does a lot of business there, so we’ve known each other forever.”

  “And Chasen?” Lindsay asks, making her eyebrows go up and down.

  “Same thing. We’ve all traveled around a lot, but we always manage to find each other again.”

  Her last statement could be mostly true, except that the three of them have spent the last millennium or two hunting down freaks of nature like me. My question is: what made Ever see me any differently? And somewhere deep down, do I still judge him for his actions? Better yet, would I have made the same choices in his place?

  I don’t have the answers to these questions, and I probably never will. After all, I haven’t been locked in an infinite battle, so how can I truly know what I would do? When faced with the possibility of Ashley paying for my choices, I chose self-sacrifice over a lifetime of guilt. But in an unending war, would I compromise myself? Betray those I love? Die for them? Kill for them?

  I could say that I know for certain what I would do, but it would be a lie. I think you can only know once you’ve made the choice, and even then, you m
ight still be haunted by regret. Abruptly aware that I could spend all night debating the decisions I’ve made and have yet to make, I get off the couch to examine Audra’s table of wonders. With a plate full of random selections, I sit down again as Lindsay holds up two movies.

  “Girl possessed by the Devil … or deranged lunatic stalking campers?”

  “Is there a door number three?” I ask dryly.

  Ashley holds up a third.

  “Homicidal clowns?”

  “No!” the rest of us cry in unison.

  “God! Okay! So, what freaks you guys out more—something totally gross like someone’s head exploding or waiting for something to jump out?” Ashley asks.

  “Definitely heads exploding,” Taylor says. “Bleck.”

  “The waiting,” Audra says.

  When I look over at her, I’m unnerved by her vacant stare, like she’s somewhere else. I’ve seen the exact same look on Ever’s face. Like they’re reliving the same thing. Lindsay has already gotten up to put in one of the movies, and when Audra finally looks over at me, I’m tempted to try digging around in her head. I resist the urge. The last thing I need is to end up having a seizure and biting off my tongue in front of my friends.

  That would end the night pretty quickly.

  Audra hits a button on the remote, and the lights dim as the screen turns to black. Some super creepy music starts playing, and a shiver runs down my spine. I swallow. Being scared out of my mind was not how I envisioned spending girls’ night. The opening shot of the movie pans across an empty, candle-lit cathedral, and I take a deep breath, watching with morbid fascination as the camera zooms slowly toward the front of a gothic church. A priest, his back to the camera, begins to turn like he’s about to address a church full of worshippers. When his face finally comes into view out of the shadows, I let out a yelp of terror. His lips are twisted in a maniacal grin, and his eyes are coal black.

  “All right, Wren!” Lindsay whoops. “You’re our first screamer of the night.”

  I smile in embarrassment and do a small princess wave like this is a badge of honor. I can do this, I tell myself. I force myself to breathe. It’s only a movie. This turns out to be pretty much my only thought for the next ninety-three minutes. When the credits finally roll, I throw my hands up in the air in frustration.