Never (The Ever Series Book 2)

by C. J. Valles

  I’ve been telling myself that this is normal. Who else has a boyfriend reading her thoughts at random? But I still feel guilty for every thought I’ve had to hide from him. I look out the window, taking comfort in the cool, green beauty outside. As we take the turn toward Ever’s house, I smile. One thing that does feel completely right is being back in Portland, like I was always supposed to be here, and it just took sixteen-plus years to correct the mistake. When his house comes into view, my stomach lurches at the sight of all the cars parked out front.

  “We’re late.”

  “You can’t be late to your own party,” he says, pulling up next to a blue Civic I don’t recognize.

  When he opens my door and helps me out, I hear music and smile broadly at Ever.

  “I only used music from your computer,” he smiles back.

  Instead of walking into the house, we follow the sound of the music to a grassy field bordered by enormous evergreens. A few dozen people are already on the dance floor, most of them familiar faces from my classes. I look and see a table set up with an unbelievable assortment of food and drinks, and the surrounding bushes are strung with twinkling white lights.

  “You’ve been getting a lot of practice being human. Super human, actually.”

  He shakes his head.

  “This was mostly Audra.”

  “Oh.”

  My voice has no volume. The last time I saw her, she had been plotting my death. I guess at the time she saw me as the reason behind Ever’s imprisonment by the enemy. I’m trying my hardest not to blame her, since—like me—she didn’t know what Alex and Ever were planning until after it all happened. She did wish me dead, though. And who knows? Maybe she would have killed me if Alex hadn’t taken me at that moment. I shudder at how well he played his role, and how easily I believed that he was about to turn me over for infinite possession, despite everything that had happened between us.

  A chorus of high-pitched screams from the dance floor causes my muscles to stiffen. Then I see Lindsay, Ashley, and Taylor rushing toward us. Ever smiles and leaves as soon as they reach us.

  “Déjà voo-doo!” Lindsay whoops. “This is the first time I’ve been able to wear a dress more than once!”

  It’s hard to tell if she’s excited or disappointed by this, mostly because she’s bouncing around in her normal way.

  “You guys look great!” I gush. “I’m so glad I got a do-over.”

  “Yeah, well I can’t believe you got to go to Mexico for a week!” Ashley squeaks. “How come you didn’t tell us?”

  Because it didn’t happen, I think sadly.

  “It was really last minute. So, where are the guys?”

  “Food!” Lindsay cackles. “Oh, yeah. And check it.”

  She points slyly over at the dance floor and my eyes widen when I see Matt from Art dancing with … the guy he was talking to at nutrition. I smile.

  “Good for him.”

  “You knew?” Taylor asks me.

  “I sort of had a feeling.”

  … because I can read minds, I finish in my head.

  “All right. Then you were the only one,” she says rolling her eyes. “God, and remember Josh was trying to set you guys up!”

  I smirk. Josh had projected his own ideas onto me when I first got here, followed by his assumption that Matt would like me just because he had. … And Josh hadn’t liked Ever mostly because he didn’t know anything about him. Suddenly I want to go smack Josh upside the head. Then I remember that I’m guilty of making assumptions, too. And now I know for a fact: assumptions are almost never right.

  “I’m just glad he doesn’t feel like he has to hide who he is,” I add quietly.

  Why would you want to return to a life that made you feel as though you didn’t belong?

  Alex’s question from our dinner in Tierra del Fuego. Aware that I’ve been hiding pieces of myself for as long as I can remember, I could never wish it on anyone.

  “Come on! Let’s dance!” Lindsay says.

  I follow my friends onto the dance floor and decide that if Matt isn’t afraid to show who he really is, then I shouldn’t be afraid of something as silly as dancing—badly. At first I’m really self-conscious. Then I let go and dance totally without rhythm and laugh myself senseless. When someone taps me on the shoulder, I turn and feel the blood drain from my face at the sight of Audra, who looks like a perfect ice queen. She reaches out and hugs me, and I rock backward in shock before tentatively hugging her back. Then she turns and walks away. I guess that—and the party—was her apology.

  After a few more songs, my feet are already killing me. I’m thirsty and I still hate high heels. Hobbling over to the refreshment table, I kick the shoes from hell into the grass and stare at the table, momentarily overwhelmed by the choices until I see a bottle of sparkling water. Caffeine and sugar just haven’t seemed like a good combination since I got back. I take a few sips and then jump when a pair of arms slides around my waist from behind. I turn and smile at Ever.

  “The next song is mine,” he whispers as he takes the cup out of my hand and sets it on the table.

  I blink, and suddenly we’re on the deck overlooking the party. We’re standing very close, but not really moving. A slow song—another favorite—starts playing, and I smile.

  “You know, someone could have seen that little disappearing act!”

  “What happened to you thinking you’re invisible?”

  Suddenly I remember that moment—before I had even set eyes on Ever—when I heard his voice in my head. Then I realize he was laughing at me as I thought about how invisible I had always felt at Pali. It was one of the few times I’ve heard or seen anything in his mind, which reminds me that I’m not the only one who has a wall up. The only difference is that Ever keeps me out of his thoughts because there’s something in his mind powerful enough to kill me.

  “I was invisible before I came here.”

  He shakes his head.

  “No, you have never been invisible. You were the one who opened my eyes after an eternity of darkness.”

  Alex said something right before he disappeared that made me curious, but I haven’t found the right time to ask. Before I can say anything, Ever’s expression changes, and he looks away from me.

  “What did Alex mean when he said how torture makes good liars … ?”

  Ever’s hands tighten around me, and he doesn’t say anything for a long time. When I reach up and touch his cheek, he shakes his head like he’s casting off a bad memory.

  “He spoke of another existence, one I can never forget, and one I have sworn never to see repeated.”

  I think of the darkness I saw in Ever’s mind right before I woke up in the hospital on my second day of school. The memory is fuzzy and indistinct now, but whatever I experienced was pure evil—and something that has haunted Ever for an eternity.

  “But you’re here now,” I whisper. “And I love you. Forever.”

  His vivid green eyes burn into me, and suddenly my feet are floating a foot off the ground as he raises me to him. When his lips come down on mine, the pressure is gentle, but just beneath the surface is a hunger that makes my breathing quicken. I tremble at the heat from his skin as it courses through my veins. He parts my lips with his and our kiss deepens until my head is spinning. I close my eyes, and suddenly I want more. I want to erase everything before this moment. I grip him tighter, and Ever growls deep in his throat. It’s only when I hear the crash of thunder that I realize it’s raining down on us. From out of nowhere, a storm has just come unleashed.

  A second later I feel warm, dry ground under my feet, and when I open my eyes, we’re in Ever’s room. His hands are on my waist, and he’s lifting me to the edge of his bed. My hair and dress are still soaked, and I frown when I reach out and touch Ever’s jacket. It’s bone dry. So is he. Then I remember how hot his skin is to the touch.

  “It must be nice,” I smile, “being your own heater.”

  With one hand, he reaches beh
ind me and loosens my hair, letting it fall around my shoulders. Then his fingers skate across my collarbone, and I shiver.

  “Are you still cold?” Ever whispers.

  I nod and scramble onto my knees, reaching up to put my arms around his neck. He places one hand on my waist and another on my cheek. Suddenly my dress is dry and my skin is very, very warm.

  “Thanks.”

  Instead of letting me go, he pulls me closer, and my breath catches when he brings his lips to my ear.

  “I missed you …”

  The hand that’s resting on my cheek slides slowly down to my jaw, across the pulse in my neck, his fingers gliding down my arm until his hand comes to a rest on my waist. He leans forward, brushing his lips against mine over and over, teasing me until I can’t stand it anymore. Without thinking, I reach for the buttons of his shirt, and his hands suddenly grip my wrists. My eyes widen in surprise. Then, as soon as I realize that he’s stopping me, I look down, feeling chastised.

  “Wren, slow down. I want to be with you, to touch you, feel your skin … more than you can know, but you were right. You need more time … and I need to know I won’t lose control and hurt you.”

  Ever caresses my cheek, and I look up at him, frowning at my own silly, ridiculous disappointment. I mean, I was the one who said I wasn’t ready for anything more. My cheeks burn, and I begin to pull away when his hands tighten around me.

  “But that doesn’t mean I have any interest in putting an end to my agony,” he says, drawing me back to him.

  “Agony?” I ask dryly. “Kissing me is agonizing?”

  “It is the sweetest kind of torment,” he says, dipping his head to touch his lips to mine. “Torment that I never want to end.”

  Outro

  I loved every second of tonight, and I didn’t want the dance with Ever to end. I wanted to hold him until I forgot everything else. But in some tiny corner of my soul, I was somewhere else, searching for something lost.

  I am only alive now because someone else sacrificed himself for me.

  As I close the front door behind me with the knowledge that I will see Ever in the morning, I begin walking up the stairs, locked behind my sturdy mental wall. My thoughts and my feelings betray me instantly. Walking through the darkness, I feel my heart start beating faster and faster as I get closer to the top of the stairs. I stop in front of the mirror like I’ve been doing every night since I got back, staring at its surface, shiny and black in the darkness. I’m already crying, and I can’t stop. All of my confusion and self-loathing wells up in my chest as I close my eyes and reach toward the glass. I touch the cool, smooth surface, seeking.

  Then, just as I’m about to pull away, a hand grasps mine. My eyes fly open, and I look into Alex’s eyes. I bite back a scream when I see the laceration carved into his brow, the deep gashes etched in his chest.

  “Wren,” he whispers.

  And then he lets go of my hand.

  I know now that when we judge others, we tempt fate. When I said never, I sealed mine.

  I’m cursed to love two, and one of them is never returning.

  A first look at …

  Sever

  The Ever Series, Book 3

  Prologue

  Innocence. It’s something I can no longer claim as mine. I’ve kept secrets. I’ve lied to people I love. Sometimes to protect them. Sometimes to protect myself. And I will lie again.

  I am human. Still. But I’m a different girl than I was when I first saw Ever. I know that now.

  My cheeks are still tear-stained as I stare up at the dark ceiling and try to pretend that things are simple. I want to believe that things are simple, and that my emotions are clear-cut.

  I love Ever. Regardless of his infinite past and in spite of my own mistakes. But how can I deny my feelings for the one who sacrificed himself—Alex, whose eyes burned into mine only hours ago?

  I try not to think about what lies beyond the mirror. Closing my eyes, I try not to think at all. But it’s impossible. Finally, I sit up and throw back the covers. My eyes are used to the darkness after lying awake for so many hours, and looking around, I enjoy a brief moment of pure happiness.

  I’m home. In Portland, Oregon. Not Southern California. Not rural France. Not the Maldives. Not the southern tip of Argentina. Not Antarctica.

  Home.

  I look over at the dress I abandoned on the chair, and my mind flits across the night with Ever, causing my pulse to race. I never wanted it to end. But it did, because as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t hold time still.

  Then I came home and saw Alex on the other side of the mirror.

  I close my eyes to escape it, but his image tortures me. Because he paid the price for my choices, sacrificing—and redeeming—himself with one swift slice of a blade. Now, here I am, unscathed and allowed to live out my happy ending with Ever. Only I know this isn’t true. I’m not naïve enough to think that the war for this world came to an end with Alex’s sacrifice.

  This is only the beginning.

  1: Innocence

  Before I knew anything about him, Ever Casey was just a stranger whose beautifully unkempt honey-colored hair obscured his glowing green eyes and perfect features. He was the one person whose thoughts I couldn’t hear and whose mind I couldn’t read with a quick glance into his eyes.

  That was before I knew what Ever was. Or maybe I still don’t know what Ever is—what he always will be. It’s possible that I will never truly understand. Either way, I never could have guessed that my entire concept of reality would be so irreparably severed. My new reality leaves me no choice. I have to fight. For my life. And to protect the people around me from the danger I’ve brought into their lives.

  Right now, the danger is nebulous, shadowy. Thanks to Alex Rousseau, Ever’s enemy, who tore a hole in this world and gave up his freedom to cast away those who had come for me. In that moment, I was granted a reprieve, a stay of execution. But in saving me, Alex proved to me that you can draw a line in the sand, a line you swear you will never cross, but now I know that you can’t control your heart.

  No one is strong enough to sever their emotions and not feel it when the blade runs clean through to the other side.

  ***

  Time passed without my permission. It just happened. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months have passed with a blissful sort of normalcy that has left me aching with guilt. It’s been a year since the night of the party at Ever’s house—a year since I saw Alex, bleeding and trapped beyond the mirror.

  Now, somehow, my eighteenth birthday is almost here—after I thought I wouldn’t make it to my seventeenth. With all that’s happened, I should be happy I’ve made it this far. I should be happy to be alive. I should be happy that my life has inexplicably returned to almost normal. But deep down, each time I look into the mirror, all I feel is guilt, even though nothing but my own reflection stares back at me.

  Every night for the past year, with tears slipping down my cheeks, I’ve searched for Alex in the darkened glass … and found nothing but my own shadowy reflection. I haven’t told another soul about my ritual, because there is no one to confide in. My friends can never know about the world I’ve stumbled into. And Ever? How could I tell him that—during the brief moments that my thoughts remain invisible to him—I search for his enemy?

  The sound of footsteps coming down the hall causes me to roll over and look at the clock. I’ve been lying in bed for way too long. On the other hand, it’s still too early for my mom to be up on a weekend after working the night shift at the hospital. I sit up, bracing myself for disaster, because I’ve known that tragedy will come to claim me someday, and someday could be today. I’ve learned to expect it, so that when it comes, I’ll be ready.

  “Wren? Are you up?” my mom calls through the door.

  “Sort of,” I mumble.

  I sit up just as my mom walks in. Turning on the light, she shakes her head at me like I’ve committed an egregious sin by sleeping in until nine.
I smirk and throw back the covers.

  “Still sleeping?” she asks.

  “You do realize that if I were the leader of the free world, I would make sleeping in mandatory on weekends, right?”

  What I can’t mention is that, if I do become like Ever someday, I’ll never sleep again.

  “Besides,” I continue. “When I get to college, I’m making it my life’s goal never to take a class before noon.”

  During the summer, while I was visiting my dad—and Jessica, my stereotypically evil stepmother—he had offered to let me live with them if I attended UC Irvine. I had smiled and thanked him, not having the nerve to tell him that I have absolutely no intention of returning to California. Instead, I spent all of last summer applying—late—to schools in Oregon while keeping my acceptance letters from California schools tucked in a shoebox. None of the California schools was my dream school, mostly because I’ve never had a dream school. And I’m definitely not one of those people who would have an epic hissy fit if I didn’t get accepted to a particular school. Getting to college is good enough for me.

  Stretching, I roll out of bed and go over to the dresser. I’ve pulled out a pair of jeans and a shirt before it dawns on me that my mom is not only awake before ten, but fully dressed and watching me with an anxious expression. My stomach flips.

  “Mom?” I laugh. “You okay?”

  “I just wanted to see if you were interested in coming to brunch with us.”

  It’s the us part of her sentence that stops me.

  “Us?” I repeat, trying not to frown.

  “Richard and me.” She smiles nervously. “You’ll really like him, sweetie.”