by Idella Breen
I trembled. Was I losing my fucking mind? The feeling of reality shifting once more filled me with dread even as I went into the living room. A chill ran down my spine when I walked to stand over June.
“Shit.Yeah, I’m fine Angela. I have to go. I’ll call you some other time.” I hung up without waiting for a response. I studied June’s back with trepidation. It was smooth pale skin. There were no scars, or tears, or blemishes. Just perfect skin.
“Shit!” I yelled in disbelief.
June jerked awake and rolled. I moved back, and she yelped when she hit the floor. She scrambled for a moment and looked around in confusion. It would have been funny if I wasn’t freaking out. She looked up at me frowning. “Eliza? Are you okay?”
“You’re not real,” I whispered.
“What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.” She stood grabbing her shirt off the coffee table. She grimaced at it, before shrugging, and putting it on.
“I said that you’re not fucking real!”
She frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s finally happened. I’ve lost it. I’ve lost my mind.” I was pacing while babbling.
“Eliza!”
I didn’t stop. “I’m bonkers!”
“Eliza!”
“The cuckoo has flown the coop mad!”
“Eliza!” She grabbed my arm, and I whirled on her.
“You!”
She looked taken aback. Good. “What?”
“This is all your fault.”
“It is?”
“You and your hockey mask! You’ve made me insane with your talk of past lives and stuff. You don’t even exist!”
Her brows furrowed. “Don’t be ridiculous, Eliza.”
“You’re the ridiculous one. You’re worse than an imaginary friend.”
“Eliza!”
“No, stop talking. I don’t want to hear it.”
There was a knock at the front door. “I’ll prove it to you,” I yelled as I walked down the hallway and threw open the door revealing the startled and concerned face of my neighbor, Ms. Jean. She smiled hesitantly. “I heard yelling. Is everything alright?”
“Ms. Jean, this is going to sound strange, but can you see this woman standing next to me?”
Ms. Jean looked puzzled but turned to look at June and smiled. “Of course dear, I’m not that old yet. You’re the woman that helped me carry my groceries to my apartment all those days ago. Thank you by the way. I never caught your name?”
“My name is June, Ma’ am. There is no need to thank me. It was no problem.”
Ms. Jean nodded. “Aren’t you a sweetheart. Well, I see everything over here is fine. I’ve just finished my morning walk, so I’m going to go and make breakfast now. Take care girls, and I’m sorry for intruding.” My neighbor turned around and left as I slowly closed my front door.
“She…she saw you.” I looked up and met June’s gaze. “You’re real.”
She frowned. “Yes, Eliza. Of course, I’m real.”
“But Kaleb-“
“Kaleb is a demon. If he doesn’t want people to remember him, then they won’t. What you did yesterday was dangerous. Do you understand that? You’re lucky he didn’t kidnap you. I wasn’t there to oversee things. Anything could have happened. He could have taken you, and I might not have been able to find you-”
“June! I understand, calm down.”
Her face was losing what little color she had managed to get back after a rest, and turning pale with each word she spoke as if she was the one realizing the severity of her own words. She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I just…I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not! I wasn’t doing my job. I wasn’t protecting you like I should have been!”
“You’re right.”
She paused. “I’m right?”
“Yeah. You were too busy having your back turned into shreds. What was that about anyway, huh? Did you get into a fight or something?”
June frowned. “That’s not your concern.”
“The hell it isn’t! What happened after you left my apartment? Did it have to do with that phone call?”
Her face flushed. “You don’t get to turn this on me! You’re the one that went galavanting around with a demon, yesterday! Why would you do that? Was he too handsome to resist, is that it? Have you chosen to go with his side already? After everything we’ve discussed?”
I watched as her face flushed bright red, starting from the tips of her ears and ending at her neck. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I waited until she was done speaking before I answered.
“You’re jealous.”
She froze. “What?”
“I don’t believe it, but you’re jealous, that I hung out with Kaleb.”
June’s brow furrowed. “Don’t be ridiculous. Kaleb is dangerous-“
“You’re turning green.”
“That’s not true! Stop saying that. I’m worried about you, that’s all.”
I stopped and studied the woman in front of me. She had an adorable pout on her face. I smiled. “I’m sorry, June.”
She looked up.
“I’m sorry I was alone with Kaleb. It won’t happen again.”
She sighed. “Why would you let him walk you home anyway? You must have sensed the danger?”
I studied my nails as I felt my face heat up. “I was in denial.”
“Denial of what?”
I threw my arms up. “Of everything! All of this! Bone walkers, demons, and angels. It wasn’t that long ago that this was the stuff of myths. Past lives, reincarnation, choosing sides. It’s a little hard to take it all in, let alone believe it all.”
“Is that why you asked your neighbor if she could see me?”
“I thought you were a figment of my imagination. I thought I was going crazy.” I sighed.
June reached out and took my hands into hers. “I’m sorry, Eliza. I’ve been known to move too fast with these things. I take for granted that I’ve done this many times, but in this life, this is your first time learning about all of this. Will you forgive me?”
I shrugged. “It’s fine. I’m sorry that I freaked out.”
June used her hand to tilt my jaw up so that I would meet her gaze. “Together, right?”
I smiled. “Yeah.”
She nodded. “Good.”
I chuckled. “You were still totally Jealous.”
Her brows furrowed before smoothing her features into a smirk. “Can you really blame me? You’re amazing. Anyone would have to be blind not to see that.”
I blushed and smiled shyly. The fluttery feeling I always got around her intensified in my stomach along with the confusion the emotions always brought forth. I pushed it all to the back of my mind and cleared my throat. “Don’t think you’re going to get out of telling me why you were injured or how you healed so quickly.”
She frowned. “It was nothing.”
“June,” I warned.
She sighed. “Fine. It was a punishment.”
“Punishment? For what?”
“For interfering.”
“With what?”
“With Gabriel’s time.”
“What are you-“ I cut myself off as I remembered the altercation I had at the gallery.
“That asshole!”
“It’s my fault, Eliza.”
“The hell it is! I’ll give him a piece of my mind-“
“You can’t.”
I turned to her. “Why not?”
“You can’t do anything. You’re not supposed to know anything about them until they reveal themselves to you. I wasn’t supposed to tell you anything, and you’re not supposed to remember anything from your past lives. You can’t say anything.”
I deflated. “But they hurt you because of me.”
“It’s fine Eliza. It was my fault. I know the rules. And I broke them knowing the consequences of my actions. I don’t regret it so don't worry about it.”
&nb
sp; “I hate him.” I could feel the truth of that statement even as I uttered the words. I also felt like it wasn’t the first time I had said something similar.
June pulled me into her arms. “No, Eliza. I don’t want that. I don’t want you to take revenge for me. I never have and I never will. It will be different this time, remember? We are going to break the cycle. So, don’t think like that, please.”
I gripped her shirt tightly and nodded into the crook of her neck. “Fine, but how did you heal so quickly?”
“Call it a perk of my profession.”
“Okay.”
She rubbed her hand up and down my back. “Good. Everything will be alright. We will work this out.”
Even as her words soothed my anger, I felt the coldness of fear grip me. “I’m scared, June. What if it doesn’t work out? We only get one chance. What if we fail?”
She pulled back, cupping my cheek. “We won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because, I won’t let us fail.”
“But you’re just one person.”
She shook her head. “No, Eliza. Together. We are in this together. And that is all we need to succeed. It’s different this time. We won’t let ourselves fail.”
I nodded as I became lost in her gaze. It was like looking into a foggy morning. I couldn’t see where I was going, but I took comfort in knowing that parts of June would be revealed little by little as the fog lifted in layers. One day, all that would be left was the sun, that emotion in the distance. An emotion that I still didn’t have a name for but was hidden deep within the fog. With time and patience, I was sure that I would soon learn its name.
“Okay.”
“Good girl.” She smiled, and another layer of the fog in her gaze cleared, revealing a little bit of joy.
Chapter 8
I held my Garfield mug containing the ambrosia of life, also known as coffee while watching the woman at the other end of my kitchen table. June had helped me clean up the mess I left in my kitchen last night after another failed attempt at making soup.
“So, let me get this straight. You don’t eat or drink anything?”
She smiled. “I tell you that I’m an eternal soul, that is tasked with the job of reincarnation among other things, and all you take away from that is that I don’t require sustenance?”
I held up my hand. “Hold up. I’m still on the part where you said you don’t eat or drink.”
She chuckled.
“So, you’re telling me that you’ve never had this life-giving drink?” I pointed to my mug.
June shook her head. “Coffee? No, I’ve never tried it though it does smell nice.”
“You’ve never had coffee? How have you survived this long without it?”
“I’ve managed.”
“No! I won’t believe it.”
“What?”
“I accept that you’re like an eternal soul, and blah blah blah, but I refuse to accept that you’ve never had coffee. It wakes the dead, you know?” I said matter of fact.
She looked thoughtful. “Coffee has been around a long time but it didn’t exist before I became a bone walker.”
I frowned. “How old are you?”
“I don’t have an exact date, as we didn’t keep track of it back then besides the rising and setting of the sun, but I think it’s safe to say that I’m over three thousand years old.”
I hummed and drank from my mug. “Okay, so you’re a grandma. I can accept that. But even grandmas need coffee.”
Her eyebrow ticked. “I’m not a grandma.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Don’t call me that. It’s weird.”
“But you’re like a really old lady.”
“Technically, I’m not even alive.”
“Okay, so a dead old lady, but you’re still old.”
She shook her head. “We’re getting off topic.”
I took another drink. “Fine, change the subject. I will never forget your imperfections.”
June smiled. “As I was saying, bone walkers do Death’s work-”
“What does he do if you do all his work?”
“He manages us.”
“Like a boss?”
“Exactly, like a boss.”
“What a lazy bastard.”
She grinned. “I agree. Now, let me finish what I was saying.”
“Continue.” I waved my hand absently.
“Thanks. So, we do Death’s work by collecting the souls of the dead.”
“Where do you keep them?”
“What?”
“Where do you keep all the souls that you take? Do you keep them on ice or something; until you pass them on?”
“On ice? No, we keep them in a layer of space we call our Pot of Souls.
“Oh, then what do you do with them?”
“We hold on to them until we are given the order on where to place them.”
“Where do you place them?”
“Inside the fetus of a pregnant woman.”
I frowned. “You’ve said that before but how exactly do you do that?”
“Through touch.”
“Let me make sure I’m hearing this right. You’re telling me that you make people pregnant by touching them?”
She laughed. “No! They are already pregnant. When we touch them, we can transfer the soul into their baby.”
I nodded. “Okay, I was worried there for a second.”
“You didn’t need to be.”
“Okay, so you’re like Death’s minion, and you go around popping souls into pregnant women's babies, do you get paid or something? Eternal health insurance? Bonuses? Free pens? Anything?”
June stared at me for a moment. “No.”
“No?”
“No, Eliza. No to all of that.”
“That doesn’t sound very fun.”
“It’s not supposed to be.”
“So, why do you do it then? How does one become a bone walker?”
“They sign a contract with Death.”
“A contract?”
“Yes.”
“A minion contract.”
She paused. “I guess you could call it that.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
“That’s all you have to say?”
I took a drink. “What do you want me to say?”
She frowned. “Okay. I guess.”
“Well, that’s what I said. So, we’re good.”
“Okay.”
We paused. I burst out laughing.
“You look so confused.” I tried to get control over my breathing.
“You are a very confusing woman.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment. I like to keep people on their toes.”
“Well, you sure do that.”
I snorted, then took another drink. The warm liquid warmed me in my freezing kitchen reminding me that I hadn’t paid my heating bill yet.
“So, how exactly do I play into all of this?” I placed my mug down. It was now empty. Standing, I motioned for her to follow me into the living room. “Let’s talk in here. I’m getting cold.”
“Oh, sorry. I don’t feel the shift in temperatures.”
“Lucky you.”
“I guess. Do you want a blanket?”
“That would be nice.” I smiled as she pulled one off of the armchair and handed it to me as I plopped down on the couch. “Thanks.”
“No problem.”
“Where was I?” I asked as I wrapped the blanket around myself, cocooning into it.
June smiled before turning serious. “You play into it by making a choice.”
“A choice? Between what?”
“Between sides.”
“What sides?”
She didn’t answer but waited patiently. Then it clicked.
“I have to choose between the angels or demons side?”
She nodded and sat down next to me. “Yes, Eliza.
Usually, that’s what would happen. You would go through the negotiation period where a representative from each side would try to persuade you into choosing them.”
“Gabriel or Kaleb?”
“Yes.”
“What about you?”
She frowned. “I’m like a referee. I make sure they don’t kill you before you make a choice.”
“Why would they do that?” I felt a sudden chill that had nothing to do with the lack of heating.
“Well, they could just kill you, and take your soul without letting you choose.”
“But that’s cheating, right?”
“Exactly, that’s why I’m here. You’re taking this all really well by the way.”
I shrugged. “I’ve freaked out and cried enough. I’m resigned to all of this supernatural stuff. Apparently, I’ve done it a million times already. Might as well get with the program, you know?”
She studied me.
“What.”
“You never seize to amaze me.”
I felt my face heat up as my eyes were drawn to her beautiful grays. I couldn’t look away from the raw adoration I saw displayed in them. They were like deep pools of raging water. I could drown in that water if I weren't careful. Maybe, I wanted to drown in that water. It might not be so bad, and it couldn’t be worse than my other options. I didn’t know I had moved until June cleared her throat. My face was only inches away from her’s. I jerked back and cleared my throat. My face was burning.
“So uh, isn’t the angel's side the good side? Why would I ever choose the demons side?” I asked.
June shook her head. “I keep telling you Eliza; you are outside the realm of good and evil.”
“I just don’t understand what that means.”
June studied me for a moment before nodding. “It is indisputable that where there is light, there will also be shadow in its wake, right?”
I frowned. “I guess, but I don’t see how that has anything to do with-”
She held up her hand. “Humor me.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed. “Fine.”
“Just because it is light, would that mean it is, therefore, good, holy in some way?”
“I guess not.”
“Right, because light is just light and shadow is just the absence of light. It is humans that assign a higher meaning to them, but the truth is that on a hot day everyone seeks the shade, and on a cool day people turn their eyes to the sun.”