“That’s all I’ve wanted to do this whole trip and here you are pretending it’s your proposal,” she teased. I felt her tasting my earlobe again and smiling onto it as her hand played at tickling my side.
“If you don’t stop doing that then I’m going to make you… Really not regret it.” I said, playing with her. “I guess me going down on you isn’t really a punishment, right?”
After my first comment she’d taken more of my ear into her mouth and pushed up on me hungrily but my second comment made her moan in my ear and all but give up. I must’ve reminded her of the feeling. “I can’t even think about that without feeling weak,” she sighed sort of still on my chest, hugging her eyes to my neck and holding herself there.
“Honestly, I didn’t have the best angle to really do it last night and it was my first time to EVER do anything like that. So, I think I need to practice. Lots of practice time. You know me. I like to get everything out when I perform.”
“Shut up,” she groaned, pushing up and taking my lips in hers hungrily. I felt her climb up me to kiss me so hard.
She took all my words and made them dissipate in action. Her tongue was like magic in my mouth. No one kissed like this. I wondered if it came naturally to her but I didn’t have the ability to ask when she was doing this to me. I didn’t want to speak when she could touch.
She broke away, heaving for air, watching me do the same. I got it. This is why people fell in love. These moments that filled you up, made you who you are but with another person there to appreciate it. She was everything. My breath should be slowing but it wouldn’t. Her actual proposal from last night hit me.
“I accept,” I said, suddenly. The words just busted out of me. “Olivia, look at me.”
She did as I asked, blinked and raised an eyebrow. I knew I was sounding hyper and crazy but it was for a good reason. “You accept what?” She asked.
“I want to marry you,” I said.
“Really?” I could practically see her heart swelling beneath her chest as she fully registered my words. She just sort of hovered there, surprised, her smile growing at just the thought. “Don’t tease me,” she said, lifting her hand up and hitting me on the shoulder hard with her palm. I could see it though she’d, been trying to process it before thinking it might be a joke.
“I’m not. I want this.” I gestured to us, how we were right now. “All the time, forever.” I took her face in my hands. “Olivia Holbrook, I love you and I want to be your wife. Are you cool with that?”
“I’m more than cool with that,” she said, moving in to kiss me again, her eyes glossing over as tears began to stream out. “There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted so much,” she whispered painfully.
I kissed her, taking her in and feeling what it was like to have her for good. I let it go, giving as much as she gave but I had more words. I needed to give them to her, knowing that I would have to back them up to truly fulfil the promises. “Life is short. I can’t pass you up for fear. Even if I were to ever lose you for whatever reason I’d at least know I did everything I could to experience this, what we have.”
“Ring or no ring, I’m already yours,” she said.
“I know, that’s the great part.” I wrapped my arms all the way around her. “This will just be another way we express it.”
Olivia kept kissing me, nudging my head with her forehead and whimpering as she wept, trying to get more of my affection.
I could tell she wanted to crawl inside me and stay there. Her tears transferred to my face as we kissed. She cried more often than me, maybe it was just that I brought it out of her. If true, I didn’t know how good or bad that was but right now I knew it was good.
“I don’t want to go home.” It was true. We would leave our little world and go back to one with more than just us in a hotel room. “But it’ll be better now.” I hoped she got what I meant. She made it better for me.
“And I don’t want to get up,” I continued to speak. “But I have to and I want to celebrate... With you.” I felt like bouncing, like floating up. Up into the ether. Happiness was such a high after being so dull for so long. I moved under her, sitting up but wrapping my arms around her so that I could keep her on me. She sat on my lap, facing me. I smiled, feeling a devious streak hit me.
With one big lunge I stood up, carrying her with me. I turned around, laying her on the bed and leaning in to kiss her with force, before trying to abscond with my stolen affection. Her legs caught me around my waist and I looked down.
I'd shocked her but she instantly calmed, due to affection.
“You make me so happy,” she said, smiling through tears.
“And that makes me even happier.” I winked at her and patted her thigh. “I gotta go,” I said, tilting my head to the side. She laughed and released me, letting me walk. It made me sad to leave her even for a moment. I made it to the bathroom and closed the door, doing a little dance on the tile.
“Such a nerd,” I whispered to myself.
I thought about her until I came back, then I thought about how cute she looked laying there, pretending to sleep. I figured she was plotting some way to get me back into bed, but I was ready to face the world with her and to do that we had to actually leave the room.
“Come on, up,” I said. I wasn’t going to get close enough to let her latch onto me and pull me in but I reached out to flick her arm and then darted away to collect some clothes and dress. I pulled out the swimsuit I’d brought, a t-shirt to go over and some shorts. She was sitting up, watching me.
“What?” I pursed my lips, but kept moving, slipping into the swim bottoms.
“Why are you in such a hurry?” Olivia asked.
“Huh?” I hadn’t even realized how it might look. Me, rushing around, getting out of bed to go out instead of stay. “I’m just happy and happy Avery is hyper and needs to move.”
“Alright,” she sighed. “But I’m not going to be as forgiving later if you want to come back to the room.”
“I’m not sure if that’s a totally bad thing. I can’t tell if you’re going to tease me and leave me hanging or kill me with sex.”
I pulled my shirt over my head, finishing the getting dressed process with a pair of flip-flops.
“Are you going to get up?” I was messing with her but I’d done so in the past and gotten a negative result so I added. “I’ll give you a prize.”
“Hmmm… Sounds tempting,” she teased, still watching me move. I wondered if she was thinking that I was just going to come back to the bed and let her draw me in. Now, thinking of it, I was the tempted one but I held strong.
“I have three words for you.” I sauntered over to the bed and leaned close. “Hot tub sex.”
“Avery… Don’t tease me. It’s too early.” But she finally got up and walked over to her suitcase to start fishing for different clothes.
“Why do you think I’m teasing?” A thrill went down my spine thinking about running my hand up her thigh under the water, touching her in places that would make it impossible for her not to show that something was going on. Maybe I was a little kinky like that.
“I just know you,” Olivia said, pulling a suit from the suitcase and walking by me to get changed in the privacy of the bathroom.
“Hey, can you grab some towels while you’re in there, please?”
I waited near the door, hoping that she wasn’t going to be mad at me for being so crazy right now. We had just had this amazing night giving me this epiphany. I needed to run around and expend the energy that was produced by it. But I needed her to do it with me. I wanted her there. I didn’t want to be away from her again. She was the only essential person to me.
The bathroom door opened and she stuck her arm out, handing me towels. I frowned. “Are you okay?” I felt bad, like I was pulling her along when she didn’t want to go.
“Sweetie, I’m fine,” she said, pushing the door away and stepping out in just her bathing suit.
“Ooookay,” I said, biting my l
ip. “I’m probably acting like a roller coaster right now so I just wanted to make sure.”
I looked down, taking her in. My eyes widened. “Um.” I couldn’t even think of what I should say or wanted to say. “Babe.” She was gorgeous without clothes, and with clothes, but something about her in a bathing suit sent me into the primal part of my brain. “You’re going to kill me with just the power of your body in that suit.”
“This was your idea,” she said, putting her hair up in a messy bun with the hotel pen and pulling a dress out of her suitcase and pulling it on to cover herself up. Only problem was, the dress was surprisingly short. It was more like a slightly-fancy oversized shirt than anything else. I could tell from far away that the fabric was expensive. Standing before me, ignoring me, she went from the Sports Illustrated swimsuit spread to the New York runway at fashion week without even trying.
My eyes lowered and then slid back up her body. “I know and I still want to do it. It’s fun, seeing you look like that, wanting you so much and not being able to have you like I want to. It’s exciting. I’m a masochist.”
I reached out for her, pulling her into my body. My fear had gone, flying away with promises but I knew it might come back. I got swings like this in my life. Times where nothing could touch me except sunshine. Now, she was my light.
“Come on,” I said, kissing her and then pulling her toward the door, opening it and going into the hall. I wanted to yell to everyone that I was in love. Olivia followed me, looking bemused by my silliness.
The elevator was not empty as I hoped it would be so I just stood in the back next to her, trying not to reach over and do anything inappropriate. Instead, I just took her hand, brought it to my lips and kissed it, rubbing with my thumb where my lips had been seconds before. We rode down with an elderly couple.
They were cute and I hoped it would be us one day. When the doors opened the man put out his arm to help his wife get off the elevator and we followed them as they walked down the hall toward the lobby. I leaned into Olivia, squeezing her hand. “They’re so cute,” I whispered.
I was seeing the world so differently. Love was my favorite drug ever. She just nodded to me I felt like she was just watching me, loving me, and instead of questioning her silence I just went with it. I always got scared when she got quiet so I decided to just push through it and use my mood to try and draw her out.
The pool was indoor but on the floor below the main restaurant. They shared the same wall of windows and sunlight from outside filtered in over the pool. There weren’t many people around now since most everyone was out on the slopes. The only person in sight was the pool attendant.
I picked a deck chair and laid a towel out for later. Olivia followed me and quietly did the same. The pool looked perfect. It was a cloudy day and the clouds were reflecting dull light through the windows and over the water. I loved water, it was peaceful and it easily hid things you didn’t want seen.
I pulled off my shirt, throwing it at the towels, and stepped out of my shorts, tossing them too. When I looked back Olivia was still in her dress. “You gonna get in with me?”
“You want me to?” She asked, gliding the pen out of her hair to let it fall down and pulling her plain white overpriced sneakers off one-by-one as she sat.
She was purposely being difficult. Leaning back on the chair to tease so her dress would ride up the tops of her thighs and I’d have to come get her.
“Actually, I like the view from here right now, but you could be really evil and take your dress off.”
I walked to the edge of the pool, dipping my foot in the shallow end. It was warm, heated but still not too warm. I stepped onto the stairs that descended into the water and took them down until I was waist high in the water and then I pushed off, gliding over to the side of the pool where she was.
“Well, I wanted you to help me but I guess that’s out,” Olivia said, standing up and pulling her dress up and off of herself.
“Oh, I could have helped but I wouldn’t have been able to keep my hands off of you. You talk about how much I affect you, well, it goes both ways. I just think that if I let myself go a little I’m going to take a lot.”
I flicked a little water in her direction and let my eyes roam her body. She was perfect and not just because she was mine. She just was. Anyone could see it, not that I particularly wanted other people looking at her that way. Yes, I might have to punch them if they did.
Another new feeling, jealousy. It had never been a real part of my life apart from being jealous of Adam when he got to do things that I didn’t. The perspective was different.
Olivia walked over to the edge of the pool and carefully sat down, lowering her feet into the water and holding onto the edge with both of her hands as she momentarily stared out at all the blue. “I want you to take,” she said, peeking about before staring down at me in my suit and thinking things I knew all about.
“Come ‘ere,” she said. “Help me in.”
My hand was on the side of the pool and she took it in hers, forcing me to move in front of her so that she could use me to cushion her fall. I felt her body slide down in front of mine and into the water. She immediately locked her legs and arms loosely around me so I’d have to hold her as I waded in the shallow end.
“Happy?” She asked, shivering. I couldn’t tell if she was really cold or just happy to be touching me again.
“Ecstatic,” I said. I bent my knees, dipping us a little lower. “This is perfect. My two favorite things all at one time. You and water.” I smiled and rubbed my hands up and down her sides, feeling her shudder a little more. I leaned in, kissing her, teasing with my lips and then taking them away, just out of reach but then crashing our mouths together for a moment.
I didn’t care who saw or if they disapproved. This was my life and I was not going to live it differently for anyone else. Except her, I’d do anything she asked now. But there was no one here really. No one we knew anyway.
“Sooooo, now that we’re engaged I guess we have a lot to figure out.”
She tightened her arms around me and held me close. I began to move in the water, bobbing her around. “I love it when you have me,” she whispered. I felt my hands pushing up her back beneath the water.
Her lack of response to what I’d said sparked a seed of anxiety, something I didn’t want to feel right now. I needed to keep this feeling of high. I fought it, beat it back, and refused to give into the sinking feeling. I wanted to fly.
“I always have you.” I twirled her around, moving my hands down her back to the waist of her suit bottoms. My fingers slipped under just a little, just the tips. “In the end,” I finished.
I backed myself up into the wall of the pool and leaned back, looking at the ceiling. Everything was pretty right now. Reflections from the water rolled by, making me smile. I was far away for a second but still holding her against me. “You ever wonder what it would be like to be lost at sea?”
“Like on a small rowboat?” She asked.
“Sure or a raft,” I said, bending my knees and looking back at her. “You know, there’s nothing in sight for days and days, no one with you.”
“In some ways I really enjoy solitude,” she said. “If I was lost at sea I’d much rather be lost with you but I don’t think I’d go mad alone, at least… Not at first anyway. Sometimes being around other people can really make me feel like I’m drowning.”
I leaned into her, resting my chin on her shoulder. “I get that. It makes me sad that you feel like that but I think I know why.” I brushed my lips across her neck, turning my face into her. “I feel the most alone when I’m around other people.”
“So what would happen then?” She asked. “You alone on a raft out in the sea? I’d probably be writing embarrassing poetry for you the whole time, completely ignoring the fact that I could possibly die.” Olivia lightly laughed.
“You can write me poetry anytime.” I smiled into her hair. “I can’t promise that I’ll understand i
t but I’ll understand where it came from.” I breathed for a moment, imagining my own scenario. “If I was lost at sea I’d watch the sky and imagine every good scene from my life projected on it like I was in a theater.” I leaned my head back, looking at her. “To be honest most of the scenes would just be from the past two weeks. Those, I would play over and over.”
“I’d be delirious. Singing love songs, all nautical themed. ‘Carry me o’ the ocean my love… Carry me home to thee…’” She sang some super old seaman’s song in an accent that may have been Scottish or Irish, I couldn’t say.
“Hey, that’s pretty good,” I said, swooning at the sound of her singing. It didn’t matter that she was spouting out random lyrics. It was her voice. It made me turn warm. I stood up, walking toward the stairs. “Come on, my sea Princess,” I said.
I lifted her off of me and went up the stairs, walking around the side of the pool and down to the corner where the hot tub was. I turned around, wiggling my eyebrows. “Let’s test it out.”
I turned and stepped in, never letting go of her hand in case she tried to escape, not that I thought she would. I got in and drifted to the other side, pulling her along. It was perfect, almost too hot for me to stand and the jets were going on high. Bubbles surrounded us obscuring the surface of the water. “C’mere,” I said, pulling her onto my lap.
From where we sat we could see the entrance to the pool area and the locker rooms. We were alone and I was still feeling bold. I didn’t even waste time. My hand slipped under the water, down to her thigh and pulled at the edge of her bottoms. I pressed my lips into her ear. “Should I?” It wasn’t really a question, more of a warning.
Her breath hitched. “I can’t stop you,” she said.
“Well, you could if you wanted but I hope you don’t.” I slipped my fingers past her suit and into her sex, teasing her with my fingertips. She was perfectly made. I loved her body, the curves and smoothness of her skin. I loved touching her intimately, feeling how she closed around me, taking me, absorbing what I was giving her and making energy of her own with it all.
Paper Dolls, Book One Page 30