To Break a Vow

by Chencia C. Higgins

  The one that we were supposed to spend the rest of our lives with; the one that would make us want to be a better person, the one that we were supposed to marry. Pops would tell us that the moment we met The One, our souls would take notice and we could fight it with our flesh if we wanted to, but all that would do is delay the inevitable. So, after laying eyes on the gorgeous specimen of a human being that is Latonya Sharí Black and hearing her ramble on and on about her sister and the circumstances surrounding our introduction, hearing her talk about her son, seeing the way her face lit up as she spoke about him, seeing the love that she had for him, hearing how it coated every word that she spoke, laughing at things that she probably hadn't intended to be funny, all of it. I knew. And I'm not the type of man who would ignore it. I'm hedonistic; I pursue the things that will bring me joy. And once I knew in my mind that she was The One—in the sense that my father had taught me—there was no question about what I needed to do next, so I proposed to her. And when she said yes,” I broke off on a chuckle at the memory, “well, actually, she said okay, but when she said that, it proved that I had done the right thing. It was meant to be. We were meant to be.”

  I didn't really have much else to say after that; there wasn't really an explanation for what I did, for the why of it all. But I let what I did have spill out on the table in between me and my new father-in-law then I sank back against the metal chair and waited for his response. To my surprise, he hummed and the sound wasn’t full of disapproval.

  “Alright. You should come on to dinner tonight so you can meet Cynthia. That’s the girl’s mama. Have you met Wisdom yet?”

  I shook my head, slightly knocked off-kilter by his easy acceptance of my not-so-easy response to his question. “No sir, I haven't.”

  “Well, get your phone out now so I can give you the address to the house. I’d tell you how to get there, but I know how you young folks like to put it in your gypsy instead of using a good old map. All the hard work Rand and McNally done did for us and y’all ‘bout as ignorant as a newborn puppy unless a robot tell you to turn left on a one-way street.”

  Gypsy? Pulling out my phone, I did as I was told, dutifully typing in the information as he rattled off the details to me. Tucking my phone back into the inside pocket of my vest, I looked at Cyrus Black expectantly, wondering what to do next. Should I leave and go find Tonya?

  “Now,” he said, interrupting my thoughts, “how good are you at checkers?”

  Chapter Nine

  When a Bitch Take You Out Of Character

  The next morning I awoke with a smile on my face, remnants of the conversation from the night before playing over in my mind. My good mood lasted through the morning rush at the coffee shop and into the afternoon when I left work and went home for a shower before heading to pick up my son from his father’s house. I sang along with the radio, using Xeno’s melodic rhymes as a distraction from the task ahead of me, and I could only pray the news wasn’t too traumatizing for my baby boy.

  As soon as the door to their apartment opened, Ava, Evan’s fiance, greeted me with a bright smile and widespread arms, moving toward me in an attempt to wrap me in a—probably but probably not—friendly hug. I sidestepped that shit with a quickness and watched with a quirked brow as she dropped her hands to her side lamely. She knew better than that shit. We weren’t friends. Never had been, never would be.

  Ava had graduated from high school the year after me and Evan, and while she and I hadn’t been close, we were close enough for her to know that Evan and I had gotten married two months before our graduation. That didn't keep her trifling ass from creeping into his bed not even a month after I moved out of the crappy apartment that we shared, though, and it definitely didn’t keep her from thinking that she had won a prize over me in a competition I hadn’t known we were in. Even though it took two years for Evan to call her anything other than a friend, and another three years before he let her move in with him, she really thought she was running something.

  I’ll never forget the ill-advised “woman-to-woman” chat she called herself having with me after Evan finally asked her to marry him. She’d accidentally-on-purpose ran into me while I was at the mall buying track cleats for Wisdom’s first year on the team. After suffering through a few minutes of pleasantries, I tried to walk away only for her to drop the sister-girl act and voice her true intentions. She wanted me to stay away from Evan—the dummy had the audacity to accuse me of still being in love with him—and assured me that he was now officially hers and that my chances were over.

  I laughed in her face. Straight up burst out laughing, overcome by the humor in her accusation. I laughed so hard that tears sprang to my eyes and my ribs began to throb. When my laughter tapered off a bit, I looked her in the eye, the fair skin on her face splotched red—probably from embarrassment at the attention my howls had brought to us—and her arms were crossed over her chest.

  “Ava. Are you in love me? Seriously, because you’re always in my damn face about something that I don’t give a fuck about. If Evan is ‘officially yours’ then shouldn’t you be up under him instead of here, annoying me? You know what; at first, I thought you were just jealous of me, but now I think you really are obsessed with me. Girl, get a fucking clue. I don’t want Evan and I don’t want you, and as long as my son is safe and well cared for when he’s at his father’s house, you and I have nothing to talk about. Please hop off my clit and go get you some friends. I know you don’t have any because they would have told you this was a bad idea.” Rolling my eyes, I skirted past her, muttering, “Getting all in my face about a man who proposed without a ring. The shame of it all!”

  The next time I saw her, she was sporting a crackerjack prize ring on her finger that did nothing but amused me further. It was obvious he only gave it to her because she fussed about it and he wanted to shut her up. It looked like a spite ring, and the fact that she was so pressed about me was both hilarious and annoying. Not once had I ever attempted to rekindle anything with Evan since the day he asked for a divorce, so I couldn’t fathom where she got her crazy ideas from. Three years later and they still hadn’t tied the knot, and the only change had been Ava’s entire demeanor. She’d gone from trying to ice me out to trying to be my best friend. She was misguided on both attempts.

  “Hey, Tonya! Wis is coming right—”

  “Hey, Mama!”

  We both turned as my growing boy came lumbering into the living room with a thin backpack slung over his shoulder, followed closely by his father—and relative twin. They both had the same peanut butter brown skin and square, bucket-shaped head. Once upon a time, I used to dream of having a son who was the spitting image of Evan but now that I had it, I only wished I’d listened to my parents and waited until I was older before becoming somebody’s mama. Wisdom was my heart, but Evan, I could do without.

  With a smile on my face, I tilted my head, offering my cheek to my preteen, who already knew the drill. After a tight hug and a quick kiss, he pulled out of my arms.

  “I’m ready. I just need to go grab my game really fast.”

  No stranger to that particular phrasing, I pursed my lips and propped my fisted hands on my hips. “Boy, you knew I was on the way. Why didn’t you already have it ready?”

  “Mama.” His voice took on a whining note, reminding me that even though he was fast approaching my height, he was still barely out of his babyhood. “Me and Daddy were playing it while I waited for you.”

  “Hmph. Fine. Gon’ ‘head and get it so we can go. You know your grandpa is gon’ want you to help him with dinner.”

  The smile that appeared as soon as he came into view and held as I watched him jog back in the direction of his bedroom disappeared from my face the moment Evan opened his mouth.

  “Can we talk?”

  I glanced at him, his serious expression causing panic to rise in my chest. My eyes flew between him and Ava and swept to the back of the apartment where my son had just gone.

  “Is every
thing okay?”

  Ava nodded. “Nothing happened to Wisdom if that’s what you’re thinking.”

  That eased the pressure in my chest significantly. “Okay. So what’s up?”

  He nodded at the front door. “Let’s step outside.”

  I followed him out onto the porch of his two-bedroom apartment and waited as he pulled the door closed and turned to me.

  “Did you get married when you were in Vegas?”

  My eyes ballooned. How the fuck did he know? “Who told you that?”

  “I asked you a question first. Is it true?”

  There was no way around this and it wasn’t like I was ashamed of what I’d done, I just didn’t like to be blindsided and preferred to share my business when I was good and ready. Someone had forced my hand, and I needed to know who. “Not that it’s any of your business but yes, I did.”

  His lips parted and his face reddened. “It absolutely is my business if it affects my son!”

  “Oh? Just like it was my business when you proposed to Ava, right?”

  An ugly chuckle burst from his lips. “Is that what this is about? You’re trying to get back at me?”

  My eyes rolled so hard, I almost caught a headache. “Contrary to what you are your fiancé seem to believe, I don’t make not one decision with you in mind.”

  He glared at me. “I can’t believe you. I didn’t even know you were dating anyone.” He kicked the wall next to the door. “Fuck! I thought Cassie was lying!”

  And there it was—the missing link. Evan learned from Cassie—his younger sister—who must have heard about it from her sister-in-law who was one of Danielle’s bridesmaids and was at the jazz brunch where Toy barred no plex in informing everyone about my early morning activities. Damn. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since we’d been home, but apparently, the grapevine never slept. His reaction threw me.

  “You need to chill the fuck out.”

  Dropping his hands from where they were linked behind his head to rest on his slim waist, he swung to face me, disbelief contorting his facial features.

  “Chill out? I had to hear from my sister that you basically recreated our wedding with a nigga I don’t even know, and you want me to chill out? I’m sorry, T, it seems I’m all out of chill at the moment. Imagine the fuck out of that.”

  Why did it sound like he was more concerned with me than how me being married affected our son?

  Rolling my eyes at his dramatics, I opened his apartment door and peeked my head in to see my baby sitting on the couch with Ava.

  “You got your game?” At his nod, I beckoned him with my hand. “Let’s go, then.”

  “Seriously, Tonya? I’m talking to you and you’re just going to leave? That’s how we doin’ it?”

  “Say bye to your daddy, Wisdom.”

  “Bye, Daddy.”

  Never one to ignore our son, Evan redirected his attention to Wisdom, hugging him tight and dropping a kiss on the top of his head.

  “Alright, son. I’ll see you Wednesday at your game.”

  Fishing my keys out of my purse, I disengaged the locks on my car with the press of a button and watched as Wisdom climbed into the passenger seat. The moment the door closed, I spun around to face Evan and went in.

  “Let me tell you something. I don’t know what sort of crack you and Ava have been smoking lately, but you might need to switch your supplier ‘cause y’all done both lost your damn minds. My personal life is none of your business. None!” I snapped my fingers. “As long as Wisdom is happy and healthy your mind shouldn’t even wonder over to me. What you need to be doing is finally picking a date to marry the only woman you need to be worried about so she can stop being so damn insecure. It’s high time this five-year engagement came to a fucking end!”

  Damn near twisting my ankle as I stomped off, I didn’t wait for him to respond or even go back in his apartment. I slid behind the wheel of my sedan, only acknowledging my anger to catch myself before slamming my door shut. No matter how pissed I was, I refused to take it out on my car.

  Wisdom didn’t say a word for the first ten minutes of the drive, and the silence from my usually talkative son edged out the rage and brought the nerves right back.

  Had Evan told him already?

  I didn’t put it past Evan to give Wisdom the news as soon as he received it. Or at least as soon as he shared it with Ava. She was a gossip, just like Cassie, and always managed to pull Evan into some mess.

  “You alright over there?”

  He nodded, pulling his gaze from the blurred scenery on the other side of his window and glancing at me.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Oh. I’m just not used to be you being so quiet.” Usually his mouth started moving a mile a minute as soon as his butt touched the seat of the car, with him going on and on about all of the things he did with his father that week, the fun he had with his cousins on that side of the family, the outings his grandparents took him on, and always—always—asking me a million questions to make sure I didn’t have too much fun while he was gone. This had been his routine from the time he began to talk, no matter whether he was with Evan for one week or three. This...this silence from him was nerve-wracking.

  After I’d driven about ten miles, he finally spoke.

  “Mama? Can I ask you a question?”

  I flicked my gaze across the car to see him staring out of the passenger window. “It's ‘May I ask you a question’, baby.”

  I expected him to laugh or roll his eyes or even shake his head, but he did none of those things, instead, his gaze stayed on the blur of the city flying by as I drove south at sixty-five miles an hour.

  “May I ask you a question?”

  “Of course, baby. Go ahead.”

  Finally, his head swiveled in my direction and wide, innocent eyes looked over at me. “Did you get married while you were in Las Vegas?”

  I'd anticipated this question, of course, but still, it took the wind out of my sails and knocked the breath out of my chest to hear it come out of his mouth. My shoulders sank with worry at the waiver in his voice, and I swore on everything that was holy that I was going to wrap my fingers around Evan’s neck and squeeze the next time I saw him.

  I sighed. “I thought we’d at least get to have dinner so I could tell you on a full stomach, but yes, I did.”

  Wisdom's eyes grew to the size of saucers, and his mouth gaped open. He gripped the strap across his chest with both hands. “Really, Mama?”

  “Yeah, baby.” I tried to infuse a soothing tone into my voice. “But before we get too deep into that, I need to know where you heard that from. That information shouldn't have come to you from anyone but me. Did your daddy tell you this?”

  My baby boy shook his head. “No, ma'am. I heard Ava and Auntie Cassie talking about it.

  I cut a side-eye at him at the mention of those two women. They were two messy peas in a miserable pod. “Were you eavesdropping on their conversation, Wisdom?”

  “No ma'am! I wasn't, honest! I was just in my room playing my new game when I heard Ava on the phone with Auntie Cassie. I could hear Auntie Cassie really clearly because she was on speakerphone.”

  My mind raced as I pictured the scene in my head. “If you were in your room playing a game with the volume up on your TV, how in the world did you hear Ava have a conversation on her phone?”

  “I don't know, Mama. It sounded like she was standing right outside my door. The volume on her phone was so loud it was like Auntie Cassie was there at the house with us.”

  I saw red, my fingers tightening around the steering wheel as I realized that bitch Ava had most definitely had that conversation in front of my baby's bedroom on purpose. She intentionally wanted him to hear that information. Images flew through my mind of me pimp-slapping that girl across the living room and body-slamming her to the floor. Oh, Evan would still be getting a phone call from me but this time it would be about him checking his bitch.

  Before I could get too dee
p in my head, I pulled into the driveway of my parent’s home and threw the car in park.

  “Mama?”

  I looked over at my baby who was fidgeting with the hem of his t-shirt.

  “Hmm?”

  “What made you marry that man when you were Las Vegas?”

  Whew. That was a question I hadn’t been expecting from my eleven-year-old but thankfully, it was one I could answer honestly.

  “You know how we talk about trusting our gut?”

  He nodded. “Yes, ma’am. You said that even when it doesn’t seem logical if our gut is telling us to do something or not to do something, we should listen to it.”

  “Exactly.”

  He looked out the window, pondering what I’d said to him.

  “So, your gut told to get married?”

  Shaking my head, I brushed a hand over his head, the short spikes of his hair prickling my palm.

  “No. My gut told me to say yes when he asked me.”

  His eyes shifted to my face.

  “Were you gonna tell me?”

  Heart clenching at how small his voice had become, I cupped his chin in my hand. “Of course, I was. You know we don’t keep secrets from each other.”

  He nodded again. “Is he gonna live with us?”

  Oh. That was actually a good question. “He and I haven’t discussed living arrangements yet, but it’s a possibility. Nothing is official until the two of you meet and he and I talk about it, though. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Now go ahead inside. I’ll be right behind you.”

  As if he had been waiting for the green light, Wisdom jumped out of the car and ran into the house. I took that moment to dial Evan’s number, my anger from before merely pushed on the back burner while I talked to my baby. The moment he answered, I went in.

  “Explain something to me, Evan. If you felt it was necessary for us to step outside of your house to talk about me getting married—and I'm assuming that was because you didn't think it was time for Wisdom to know—explain to me why your fiancé felt it was okay to discuss it in front of Wisdom's open bedroom door with your sister on speakerphone.