True Horizon

by Laurie Winter

  For the next three days, she’d listened to her mother’s hysterics. Now, Grace sought refuge on the porch. The lowing of the cattle in the field calmed her troubled spirit. They assured her she’d made the right decision. Her heart and soul were at peace.

  Still unsure of his intentions, she hadn’t told Heath. What if he was preparing to leave the ranch? The night of their first and only kiss, he’d made clear his desire to avoid a relationship. Her new single status might not change anything between them, and that thought scared her into silence.

  Her engagement ring now rested next to her engagement picture, which now were both tucked away inside a dresser drawer. As Grace sat outside, she rubbed the bare finger and listened to her mother’s voice drift out from the kitchen window. Grace had heard her name several times, followed by the phrases—“please come over soon,” and “you have to talk some sense into her.”

  So, her brother had been asked to help. Mom hoped Alex could convince Grace to go ahead with the wedding. What her mother didn’t know was Grace had already talked with Alex, and he, along with Jenny, supported her decision one hundred percent. Follow your heart, they had said—you know the truth better than anyone else.

  Grace opened her laptop and spent some time playing with the security features of a new program she’d installed on a client’s server. The task wasn’t complicated, but it took her mind off her problems. She was in the middle of updating a virus scan when Heath stepped onto the porch. He was dressed in khaki shorts and a casual button-down shirt. Because he looked so different with his hair cut short, she did a double take. When he smiled, Grace caught a glimpse of that devilishly handsome dimple.

  Heath walked past her, up to the door, and knocked twice. “Hard at work?”

  “The great thing about being self-employed is I set my own schedule and can work from anywhere. I’d rather be out here than inside, especially right now.”

  Her mother answered the door. Her narrowed gaze darted from Heath to Grace. “Good morning, Heath. I’m sorry, but Bruce isn’t feeling well. He can’t come with you to the football game.”

  Heath’s face fell. “Tell him that I hope he’s better soon.”

  “Thanks. I’ll tell him.” Joslyn stepped inside and closed the door.

  But not before giving Grace a look that could have curdled milk. She brushed off the disapproval, adding it to the growing pile. “Are you still going to the game?”

  Heath turned to face her, stuck his hands in his pockets, and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  Closing her laptop, she went to stand next to him. “I like football.”

  “Oh…yeah,” he said. “Everyone likes football around here.”

  Grace sighed. Geez, how more obvious do I have to be? “You know…I could go with you.”

  He lifted his head to meet her gaze. “You coming would be great, but your mother wouldn’t be too happy.”

  His hazel eyes stopped her heart. “Let me worry about my mom. She doesn’t control my life.” She did love her mother. Even more so when they weren’t living under the same roof. “I can drive.” A long car ride with Heath would give them a chance to talk. Maybe she could use the time to get to the bottom of what was going on between them.

  “Cool. We should leave soon.”

  His dimple appeared again. Grace wondered what he’d do if she leaned over and kissed it. How could one little dimple on a handsome face drive her to distraction? “Let me go change.” She sprinted up to her room.

  An hour later, they were in Grace’s car on their way to San Antonio. She turned the radio station to classic rock.

  “You’re not wearing your engagement ring.” He pointed to the bare ring finger on her left hand.

  Her breath became shallow, and her heart rate increased. Even though she wanted to look at his face to see his reaction, she didn’t take her gaze off the road. “We had a long conversation over the phone several days ago, and I broke off my relationship with Tyler.”

  “Why isn’t he here? If I were Tyler, I would have jumped in the car and come straight to you.”

  “I told him over the phone. The next day, Tyler had to fly out on a business trip. He was meeting some Congressmen about an environmental bill. I don’t think he had a choice.” The excuse seemed weak, even to her ears.

  “How can you defend him?” Heath spat. “He had a choice, and he chose wrong.”

  Grace remained quiet and focused on driving. Heath was right about Tyler’s priorities. His career came first, which was the main reason she couldn’t envision a future with him. She never wanted to play second string to a job.

  “I’m sorry.” He exhaled. “It’s none of my business. I only want to make sure you’re all right.”

  “Thanks for caring, but I’m doing fine. Tyler will be home in two days, and then we’ll talk face to face. I won’t be dissuaded from my decision.”

  Heath pressed his lips together and turned to stare out the window.

  Grace’s self-control cracked and tears blurred her vision. His rejection was her biggest fear.

  After a long, quiet car ride, they arrived at the football stadium. As she entered, Heath took hold of her hand. She loved the way his calloused hand felt on hers.

  They wandered around for awhile, until Heath asked an usher for help.

  The friendly, gray-haired man pointed them toward the ramp leading to the suite level.

  She was soon standing in front of the door to Julie Harrison’s suite. Grace noticed Heath’s nervousness at seeing Julie, his best friend’s widow, again. He drummed his fingers against the side of his leg, and his foot tapped on the cement floor.

  She remembered the night of the fireworks, when she’d sat with him on the front porch, and Heath told her about the loss of John. Magic had been in the air that evening because he’d opened up. The memory of their almost first kiss brought the curve of a smile to her lips.

  Heath opened the door and held it for Grace.

  As she entered the suite, a beautiful, red-haired woman jumped off the sofa.

  “Heath!” She ran over and pulled him to a hug. “I’m so glad you came.” Stepping back, she looked him up and down. “You’re looking well. I like the hair.”

  Heath rested his hand on Grace’s lower back. “Julie, this is Grace…a good friend. And Grace, this is Julie Ellis…I mean Harrison. Sorry, old habits.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Grace said as Julie gave her a quick hug. “Heath was very kind to invite me along.”

  “I’ve known Heath a long time so I can vouch he’s a sweetheart.” Julie gave Heath a nudge in the side with her elbow. “Come over to the balcony. Aiden’s out there watching the team warm up.”

  On the way to the balcony, Julie looked at Grace, and then at Heath. “A good friend, my foot.”

  Grace’s face grew incredibly warm. She kept her gaze on the football field spread out before her. Not on a smiling Heath or a teasing Julie.

  A young boy, who looked to be about nine or ten, sat in a chair on the balcony. He watched the action on the field.

  On his lap sat the cutest ginger-haired baby girl Grace had ever seen.

  The boy turned his head at the sound of their approach. “Uncle Heath.” He stood, and Julie took the baby so the boy could run into Heath’s outstretched arms. “Mom said you were coming. My dad’s playing today.” He pointed to the field, and then held up his finger for the baby to grab. “Oh, and you get to meet Hope.”

  “Grace, this is my son, Aiden.” Julie kissed one chubby baby cheek. “And this little bundle of trouble is Hope. She’s discovered crawling and has become quite a terror. Nothing is safe.” Julie smiled at her children.

  A twinge of jealousy tightened in Grace’s chest. Would she ever have children of her own to love?

  The baby let out a burp, and then giggled. “Just like her dad,” Julie said, shaking her head.

  Grace only had a short wait for the first kick-off. As she watched the game, Grace sat next to Aiden, who gave her
a play-by-play account. He cheered especially loud when his step-dad, Reagan Harrison, was on the field. Julie seemed distracted with the needs of the baby, so at halftime, Grace offered to take Hope. Besides a momentary crying spell, Hope was a contented baby and had Grace laughing at her antics.

  While playing with the baby, she dreamed about her own future child. Did Heath want children? She hoped so. The way her nieces adored him, she knew he would make a wonderful dad.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “I’m happy for you,” Julie said to Heath. “Grace seems like a great girl.”

  “We’re only friends. Grace is way too good for the likes of me.” He couldn’t stay focused on the game. His gaze kept wandering toward Grace, who played peek-a-boo with the baby.

  One of Julie’s auburn eyebrows arched high. “The way you’re staring tells another story. And she can’t keep her eyes off of you, either. You’re both crazy about one another, just too stubborn to admit it. Don’t let her slip away.”

  Was he strong enough to hold on to such a perfect woman? His breath caught in his constricted throat. Or would Grace eventually see him the way he saw himself—a man with a dark soul?

  After the game, Heath and Grace helped Julie pack the kids’ things. They agreed to meet at a local restaurant for dinner. On the drive to the restaurant, Grace talked nonstop about baby Hope and Aiden.

  Obviously, she had a thing for kids. Seeing Julie and Aiden again had picked away the scab covering painful wounds. Although Heath loved them both, John’s widow and son served as a reminder of the loss of his friend. They seemed happy, which helped ease some of his guilt. Julie’s new husband, Reagan, provided them with the love and support they needed to heal.

  Heath wondered if someday he would experience the same type of saving grace, and then he smiled. Maybe his subconscious was telling him something.

  They arrived at a small restaurant and were taken to an intimate table set toward the rear. After a short wait, and more talk of the baby, he looked up to see Julie, Reagan, and the kids joining them.

  “Sorry we kept you waiting.” Julie huffed and dropped the diaper bag on the ground. “We had to wait for Reagan.”

  Reagan smiled while he set Hope in the highchair. “Hi.” He reached over to shake Grace’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

  Some people, mostly women, would call the pro-football linebacker handsome. And obviously, Grace fell into that camp. Her face flushed every time she glanced at him. Heath wanted her full attention. “Good game, man.” He took hold of Grace’s hand under the table. The move was a bit possessive, but he was beyond caring. “Your team looked strong.”

  “I like what I see out of this year’s draft picks.” Reagan put his arm around his wife and pulled her close.

  “You have the most beautiful children.” Grace turned her gaze from Reagan to the baby.

  Hope was munching on a baby biscuit. Drool and crumbs covered her tiny chin. Aiden took a napkin and cleaned his sister’s face.

  “Thanks.” Reagan smiled. “They’re my pride and joy. How are you, Heath? Julie told me you’re living north of Austin and working on a cattle ranch.”

  “I’m working for Grace’s family. They raise Texas Longhorns. The job’s only temporary, though. I’m thinking about going home to Florida to see my aunt in a few weeks.”

  Grace’s face stiffened, and she pulled her hand out of his hold.

  Did she not want him to leave? If given the option, he’d stay forever.

  The guys talked football, while Grace and Julie shared stories like old friends. Heath’s gaze wandered toward Grace. As she watched the baby laugh and play in her highchair, he caught a hint of longing in her eyes. She’d make a good mother, and her future children deserved a good father. Heath doubted he’d provide a child with a safe and secure home. A conclusion that added weight on his despair.

  When the time came to leave, Julie pulled Heath to the side. “I worry about you.” Julie talked softly. “You look really good, but I know what’s lurking underneath the surface. I hope you have found a place that feels like home. Have you been getting any help with your, umm…issues?”

  A lump of emotion formed in his throat, and he swallowed hard. “I’ve actually been seeing someone professionally. I’ve had only a few sessions, but it’s helping.”

  Julie took his hand and squeezed. “I lost so much time grieving for John. He’d want you to find love and live a happy life.”

  “I have a hard time imagining a life like yours, surrounded by a loving family. Maybe someday, I’ll call you with good news.” He doubted he’d make a call like that anytime soon. His journey had only begun, and he knew he’d never fully heal.

  “Remember what you told me the day Reagan almost walked out of my life?” The corners of Julie’s mouth lifted and she raised one eyebrow.

  Heath laughed at the memory of the look of stunned indignation on her face. “I told you not to be stupid.”

  “Follow your own advice. Okay?” She winked.

  With a hitch in his heart, Heath nodded and gave Julie one final hug. She was a part of his past he wanted to hold on to.

  He and Grace said their goodbyes and left the restaurant. Dusk had overtaken the daylight, and a steady rain fell from gray clouds. They sprinted to the car.

  Grace tossed him the keys. “Would you mind driving home? I’m tired.”

  Heath opened the passenger side door. “I think I can manage.” He sounded more confident than he felt. Or at least he hoped he did. His chest and gut vibrated with nerves.

  “Thanks.” She climbed into the passenger seat.

  As he drove Grace’s car out of the parking lot and onto the road, his hands shook. In Afghanistan, driving meant always being on high alert. Anxiety crept inside his body and slithered through his muscles. He was wound up tight, like a rattler ready to strike. His gaze darted back and forth, looking for anything out of place. A bag, parked car, or even a person standing on the sidewalk was suspect. After a few deep breaths, his body and mind quieted. With a mental chant, he reminded himself he was in Texas with Grace.

  He merged the car onto the highway. Glancing in the rearview mirror, he saw the city lights of San Antonio. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Grace watching him. “What?” He forced a laugh.

  She rested a hand on his shoulder and began kneading his muscles. “You seem very tense. Are you all right?”

  Right now, he’d give anything to be a normal guy driving his girlfriend home after a date. No flashbacks, no panic attacks, and no barriers keeping away the woman he wanted more than anything in the world. “I’m fine. I haven’t driven a car in a long time. When I was in Afghanistan, driving off base was always a tense situation.”

  During their last session, Colleen suggested he talk to Grace about his experiences in the military. The truth was big and ugly—a hideous, taunting monster. As much as Heath wanted to share his burden with Grace, he couldn’t form the words. His fear and pride prevailed. Heath didn’t know how to cross the emotional chasm. Sooner or later, one of them would have to take a chance and jump.

  Rain beat against the windshield in a steady rhythm. As they drove north, the downpour intensified. Heath’s grip on the steering wheel tightened as he strained to see the road.

  “We just passed our turn!” Grace pointed back at the exit.

  His heart jumped into his throat. His skin grew ice cold. In the battlefield, people died when soldiers lost their direction. Heath’s breathing came out in rapid bursts. Pull over and turn around. A simple solution. One his brain couldn’t register. In the military, nothing was simple.

  “Damn. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” His shout caused Grace to jump in her seat. As soon as the words left his mouth, he wanted to reclaim them. His panic and anger clouded any rational thought.

  “I’m sorry,” she said in a hushed voice. “Up ahead is a turnaround. Stop there, and I’ll drive the rest of the way home.” Grace shifted in her seat.

  She’s scared of
me. His frustration grew. The weight of failure smothered him. He slammed on the brakes, and the car skidded to a stop on the wide gravel shoulder. He needed to escape. Now. Once out of the car, he slammed the door. He had to regain control. Everything unraveled inside him. The sight of Grace’s eyes wide with fear had punched him in the gut.

  Heath ran until his whole body shook with unfettered emotion. Ten feet ahead stood a line of trees. Maybe the trees would absorb him into themselves. He could become lost forever. The echoes of his dying teammates screamed in the wind. Covering his ears with his hands, he attempted to block them out. His effort had no effect because the sound came from the very depths of his soul.

  “Heath, wait!” Grace cried.

  He turned to see her running toward him, her long, thick hair soaking wet.

  When she caught up, she took hold of his arm.

  “Go back to the car. You shouldn’t be near me,” he yelled.

  Her dark eyes stared, and she didn’t move. “I’m not going anywhere without you,” she shouted. “Haven’t you gotten that through your thick head, yet? I love you, Heath Carter. I’m not leaving your side.”

  ****

  The words tumbled out of her mouth, and she’d never take them back. Grace loved him. As she witnessed his struggle, she wanted him to know he was no longer alone. He had someone who would love him enough to stick by his side, even during the tough times.

  The rain came down in sheets. A crack of thunder sounded in the distance—its rumble rolled over the hills.

  Heath tried to wiggle out of her hold, but her grip held firm. She’d fight to keep him close. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. Let me in.” She brushed wet strands of hair off his face with her free hand. The sparks in his hazel eyes dampened to embers. Tiny water droplets clung to his dark lashes.

  “I’m sorry…I never wanted you to see me like this.” His shoulders slumped. “I’m dangerous. The US government trained me to be a killer. For twelve years, that’s exactly what I was. How could you love someone like me?”

  How could she not? She wished he would see his own value. “Your past does not define you. I’m not afraid. I know you’d never hurt me.” Grace spoke loud enough to be heard over the drumming rain.