Dead Girl Walking

by Linda Joy Singleton

  Then I was saved from answering—by the maid.

  The dark-haired girl appeared in the doorway. “Excuse me,” she told Jessica.

  “Yes, Violet? What is it?”

  “You have another guest.” She moved aside, gesturing for someone behind her to step forward.

  No way! I thought. My hand flew to my mouth, cutting off my gasp.

  Chad stood and demanded, “Who the hell invited you?”

  It was Eli.

  A marathon of emotions raced through my head as I stared at Eli—none of them having to do with fundraisers. Thrill, shock, disbelief, and a wicked amount of desire. I wanted to rush up and throw my arms around him. My sweaty palms, pounding heart and chills added up to trouble. Eli was just a friend, yet seeing him so close and unexpectedly made me crazy happy.

  “What a surprise, Eli.” Jessica’s lips puckered with irritation. “Is there something I can do for you?”

  “You better have a good reason for butting into our meeting,” Chad warned.

  “I do.” His gaze sought mine, sending a message I didn’t understand.

  “Well, what is it?” Chad demanded. “Does Dad want me at the dealership?”

  “No, Dad’s cool. I came to … to offer help with your fundraiser. I’m all for helping starving kids.”

  “This is a private meeting.”

  “It’s all for a good cause and I’m here, so why not let me help?”

  “Just how did you get here?” Chad scowled at his brother. “Dad said you weren’t to borrow any of his cars without asking again.”

  “I asked Mom.” Eli sniffed the air. “Hmmm, what smells so good?”

  “Hawaiian barbeque. Mrs. B always makes plenty; maybe you could stay.” Kat grinned at him, a bit too flirtatiously in my opinion. “I’ve seen you around school but we’ve never been introduced. You must be Chad’s younger brother.”

  “Only a year younger. But I’m in honors classes, and I’m already taking some college-level classes.”

  “You are such a pathetic geek.” Chad rolled his eyes. “I’ve told you not to bug my friends, so get out of here.”

  “Oh, let him stay.” Kat came over and ran her fingers up Eli’s arm. “On reality shows, geeks are full of surprises. I’ll bet Eli has some great ideas.”

  Not the kind of ideas you have in mind, I almost spat at her. What an obvious flirt. It took supreme control not to yank her hand away from Eli’s arm. But I didn’t have any rights to Eli. Leah belonged to his brother.

  “Speaking of ideas,” I said, “I was about to tell Jessica my idea for the fundraiser.”

  “Can’t it wait?” Eli gave me another one of those looks. “I need to talk to you. Now.”

  “You need to talk to my girlfriend?” Chad demanded. “You crack your head on something? You know Leah can’t stand you.”

  “People change.” Eli stepped toward me. “Leah, you can make your own decisions. Do you want to talk with me or would you rather stay here?”

  “Of course she’d rather stay here.” Chad planted a firm arm around my waist. “Leah’s got better things to do than talk to you.”

  “Excuse me, but this is my meeting.” Jessica gestured to her notebook. “Can we get back to the fundraising discussion? I want to hear what Leah has to say.”

  Eli leaned around his brother to look into my face. “You know I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important. I heard you were going to be here and knew it might be my last chance—maybe yours, too. Who do you really want to be?”

  The others stared at him like he was talking crazy, but I knew exactly what he meant—and it ripped at my heart. Of course I wanted my real life back. But I couldn’t be Amber, even though I desperately wished it were possible. Couldn’t Eli see that I didn’t have a choice? I was trapped in Leah’s body, and subsequently her life. The Montgomerys would never believe I wasn’t really their daughter, any more than my real family would believe I belonged with them.

  “Eli, are you on something?” Chad jerked Eli’s arm so they faced each other. “I didn’t think you did that shit, but you’re acting messed up. Don’t embarrass yourself, just go on home.”

  “Not until I talk to Leah.” Eli shook his brother off.

  “Leah doesn’t even like you.”

  “Can you let her make her own decisions?” Eli stared hard at me. “Come on, let’s go outside where we can talk privately.”

  “Privately? With my girl?” Chad exploded. “Forget it. Leah, tell him to get lost.”

  But I shook my head, saying nothing.

  “Damn it, Eli, do I have to kick your sorry ass out of here?”

  “No kicking,” I begged. Turning to Eli, I whispered, “Can’t this wait?”

  “No. You have to trust me on this.”

  I did trust him, but I didn’t trust people who held power over me—like Mr. Montgomery. If I didn’t play the role of daughter, friend, and sister convincing enough, I’d be committed to DeHaven. With drugs blurring my mind and locks confining me, I’d be more of a prisoner than I was already. I might even start believing that being Amber was only a dream.

  I shook my head. “Not now, Eli. You don’t understand.”

  “I understand more than you think.” His gaze challenged me to choose him, to leave everything and become Amber again.

  “Enough, okay?” Jessica came forward to stand between us. “I don’t get what this is about, but we can sort it all out later. If Eli wants to stay for dinner, he’s welcome. But first I want to hear Leah’s raffle ideas so I can complete our meeting.”

  “Well …” I was totally aware that all eyes were on me. “I think a raffle is the best way to get people to show up at the fundraiser. But we have to raffle off really cool prizes.”

  “I already thought of that, but I can’t see how it can be done quickly.” Jessica sounded discouraged. “Three days doesn’t give us much time to get donations from local businesses.”

  “So we create our own prizes,” I told her.

  “Like what?”

  “Designer gift baskets,” I explained. “With candles, candy, flowers, bath accessories, and gift certificates.”

  “Like the baskets from the Halsey Hospitality Club?” Eli said with a challenging edge to his voice. “The club created by Amber Borden?”

  “Poor Amber,” Jessica said sadly. “Baskets would be great, but I doubt that club will continue without Amber. So who would make the baskets?”

  “I can do it,” I admitted.

  “You?” Jessica laughed. “You can’t even wrap your Christmas presents. You always hire someone else to do it.”

  “I can make baskets,” I insisted.

  “Tell them how you learned,” Eli said pointedly.

  I frowned at him. I couldn’t be who he wanted me to be.

  Chad grabbed Eli by the shoulder. “You’re leaving.”

  “Let go!” Eli couldn’t get loose from his brother’s muscled grip. “Leah, talk to me now. Do it for Amber.”

  “Amber is gone,” I said softly.

  “She doesn’t have to be! Not when you’re still here—Hey, Chad! Not so rough!”

  Chad dragged Eli toward the door. I wanted to claw at Chad’s arms and pull him off Eli … but I just stood there. Helping Eli would raise suspicions about my sanity and lead to all kinds of trouble with my friends and family.

  Not your friends and family, I thought. None of this is the real Amber. You’re more than a physical body—the real person is still there.

  What if Eli was right? Was there a way I could reclaim my life? Was that the important thing he had to tell me? He’d risked a lot to come here. For me. Amber.

  “Chad, let him loose!” I shouted and pulled on Chad’s arm.

  “Leah, lay off. Are you freaking crazy?”

  “Maybe,” I admitted. “I’ve changed my mind—I want to talk with him.”

  “You do?” Eli said eagerly.

  “You do?” Chad demanded in the complete opposite tone.

 
I sucked in my breath, courage gathering like powerful rain clouds. I’d gone along calmly for too long—it was time to let loose my inner storm. “Yes, I want to talk with Eli.”

  “No way.” Chad growled.

  “You wouldn’t understand about loyalty, Chad, but your brother does. Eli was Amber’s friend, and talking to him is the least I can do in her memory.”

  Chad loosened his grip on Eli, tossing his brother aside like brushing off lint, and turned to me. “Babe, you don’t mean it. Why waste your time with my geek brother? You don’t even like him.”

  “I’ll make my own decisions about who I like.” I pushed away from him.

  “You’re talking strange, Leah,” he said, frowning.

  “Yeah, I notice that, too.” Kat came forward, shaking her head. “Leah, you’re not acting like yourself. Sure, Eli is kind of hot in a skinny geek way, but you always go for jocks. And since when do you care about Amber Boring-Borden?”

  “Don’t call her boring. We’re closer than you know—I even sent flowers to her hospital room.”

  Kat shared an incredulous look with Moniqua. “See what I mean? Leah, you’re so different since your sickness—like someone I don’t even know.”

  “Well, I think she’s great,” Jessica said, smiling at me. “Sending flowers was such a classy thing to do. Leah, I’m proud to be your friend.”

  “You are?” I asked.

  “Seriously proud. Since Amber had her accident right after leaving my party, I’ve felt sick about it and wanted to do something for her. Now I find out you sent her flowers while I did nothing. I should be more like you. Now it’s too late for Amber … but not to show support for her family.” A thoughtful gaze crossed her face, then she snapped her fingers. “That’s it! A super idea for a fundraiser that will draw a huge crowd.”

  “What?” Kat, Moniqua, and Chad asked.

  “We’ll combine our fundraiser with a farewell memorial for Amber.” Jessica jumped excitedly. “A canned-food-drive memorial service!”

  While everyone had their eyes on Jessica as she discussed her ridiculous idea (a canned-food memorial?), I slipped my hand into Eli’s. We shared a look, then escaped, hurrying through the foyer and out the door. Fresh air and hope buoyed my footsteps. Free, free, free! I wanted to run, keep running—far from Leah’s Montgomery’s messed-up life.

  “Where are we going?” I asked.

  “To my car.” Eli pointed down a ways to a parked silver BMW. “Or to be exact, to my mother’s car.”

  “Are you kidnapping me?” I said, only half-hoping.

  “I was considering it before you agreed to come.”

  “What’s so important that you had to tell me?”

  “I’m taking you to my car to show you.”

  “Now you’re confusing me.”

  “Not as much as you’re confusing me, looking and sounding like my arch-enemy Leah,” he teased. “For a second there I wasn’t sure it was you. When you sided with Chad you had me afraid you’d gone over to the dark side.”

  “It’ll never happen. If Chad has good qualities, they’re hidden. No offense, but I think your brother is a jerk.”

  “Join the club. For an initiation prize, you get to ditch my brother and have a kiss.” He blushed at my startled look, then dug in his pocket. “A chocolate kiss,” he amended, giving me a foil-wrapped candy.

  “Yumm.” I ripped off the foil faster than you could say “Amber Borden is a chocoholic” and popped it into my mouth. Funny, though, as much as I craved chocolate, I was a little disappointed the kiss offer was only chocolate.

  As we neared the car, I caught a glimpse of a figure in the back seat. I slowed, uneasy about meeting Eli’s friends.

  “You brought someone with you?” I asked accusingly.

  “Relax.” He put a calming hand on my arm. “He’s a friend.”

  “This isn’t a good time to meet your friend.”

  “I didn’t say he was my friend. I hardly know him. But you do.” Eli cleared his throat, stopping on the sidewalk. “Go on ahead without me. You should talk alone.”

  Before I could ask anything else, the car door opened. A lanky leg wearing brown pants with a yellow sock poked out—and that was all I needed to know.

  “Dustin!” I shouted, rushing forward until I realized he couldn’t possibly recognize me. I stopped. What was I thinking? He wouldn’t know me now any more than he had when we’d talked at the hospital.

  So I was totally shocked when Dustin moved toward me, grinning in that familiar goofy way. “Eli’s been telling me an impossible story.”

  “He has?” I asked cautiously.

  “About body-snatchers.” He stopped a foot from me, studying. “Lose any cell phones lately?”

  “Not since I fell into the cemetery.”

  “And ruined your clothes.”

  “But you rescued me and loaned me—”

  “—my shirt.”

  “Right off your back. A hideous orange but baggy enough to cover my nettle bumps.”

  “Nettles?” His eyes narrowed, then widened. “Amber? It really is you?”

  I nodded—then burst into tears as I fell into his arms.

  Eli drove us to Dustin’s house; a single-story wood-paneled home in one of those cookie-cutter neighborhoods.

  Dustin’s father, an electrician, was off early and did a double take when I walked through the living room hand-in-hand with Dustin. It was so amazing to be with Dustin again that I didn’t want to let him go. Dustin rarely invited girls to his home, and never one that looked like Leah. No wonder his dad was surprised, impressed even.

  I smiled and played it up, leaning against Dustin and giggling like I had hair gel for brains. Dustin whispered, “Cut that out!” while turning an interesting shade of red.

  “Are you sure you want me to?” I vamped.

  “Amber, can’t you control yourself?”

  I just grinned. He’d called me Amber.

  We headed for Dustin’s self-proclaimed “Headquarters.” Not a bedroom, like a normal person would have, but a room crowded with desks and electronic equipment, including three computers linking networks around the world for radical anti-government reasons. There was no bed. Dustin liked to sleep on the saggy leather couch in a sleeping bag. His mother had given up years ago trying to convince him to sleep on a mattress.

  Once I teased her: “It could be worse—he could sleep in a coffin like Alyce.”

  Not true; Alyce wasn’t that Goth-centric. But Dustin and I cracked up over his mother’s shocked expression. When Alyce heard about my joke, she smacked my arm hard. Even after Dustin told his mother the truth, she still acted nervous around Alyce.

  Eli’s gaze rose to Dustin’s ceiling, where the myriad of keys he’d collected as a locksmith circled the top of the walls. Eli seemed awed, spinning slowly in place to look at the hundred-zillion keys. Dizzily, he caught himself before he tripped over some cables twined like black snakes on the floor.

  “Cool,” was all he said as he sat in a swivel computer chair.

  Then we sat down and got to talking.

  I hardly knew which of my zillion questions to ask first. I stared at these two guys, one a very new friend and the other closer than a brother. At first glance someone might shrug them off as geeks, since they were both smart and went their own way rather than following popular trends. But that’s where their similarities ended. Dustin was a born activist, intense and idealistic. Eli seemed easygoing, considerate and a little shy.

  “I never expected you two to hang out,” I told them.

  “It was all Eli’s doing,” Dustin explained. “Your pal here wouldn’t leave me alone until I heard him out. He cornered me at school today and told me that you needed him. I thought he was nuts and blew him off—but he kept after me. The more he talked, the more things added up. I knew there was something odd when I met Leah … you … at the hospital. The way you moved and talked made me think of Amber—which made no sense. Then, when you told me about
my socks, using the exact words Amber always said … well, I didn’t know what to think.”

  “Socks?” Eli interrupted.

  Dustin glanced away like he always did when reminded of his color-blindness.

  “It’s nothing,” I said quickly to save his pride. “A joke between Dustin and me.”

  “Which is what freaked me out.” Dustin shook his head. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you … well, the girl I thought was Leah … and it didn’t make any sense. So when Eli told his impossible story, I listened. I mean really listened.”

  “And believed,” I said gratefully.

  “Not at first. But I was hooked with curiosity and figured why not check it out. Then the weirdest thing happened—as you walked toward me, looking exactly like another girl, I knew it was you. And when you talked about nettles I was positive, ’cause you did that funny crinkly thing with your nose and stuck out the tip of your tongue like you always do when you’re grossed out.”

  “I do not!”

  “Yes, you do. Even when you’re not you anymore.” He stared at me solemnly. “Geez, Amber! How did this happen?”

  I blew out a sigh, sinking into the cushioned chair. “I wish I knew.”

  “You’re so … so different. I don’t think I can get used to it.”

  Eli leaned in with a serious expression. “You won’t have to—if we figure out a way to switch her back.”

  “I’ve tried and tried, but even when I was in the hospital room nothing happened.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “And by now … my real body is … gone.”

  No one spoke for a few minutes, and except for the soft hum from the computer monitors, the room was still as death.

  Then Dustin tapped his desk top, swiveling in his chair and clicking commands onto a keyboard. “Never say never,” he declared in the tone he used to use when on the debate team. “Even when obstacles seem insurmountable—like when I’m pitted against some mega corporation—there are battle strategies. I can’t stop big money from funding dirty politicians, but I can still fight back.” He waved, as if his hand were a magic wand, toward the monitor where a handsome silver-haired man smiled. “Meet Councilman Beaumont, a great family man, friend to the environment, and all-around good guy. At least that’s what he wants his voters to believe.”