Betty just dropped off our second round of drinks when Jeff asked,“So are we going to talk about it or continue shooting the shit? I’m fine with the second option but I think your sister will kick my ass if I don’t have anything to tell her.”
“Dude, telling her what I say is breaking guy code!”I hit him with a menacing look, even though it’s a full of shit look.
“Sorry man, I’m more afraid of her than you.”He put his hands up as if surrendering and laughed.
“Yeah, I don’t blame you. We may have five years on her but she’s scary.”I laughed and ducked the smack aimed at the back of my head. I sat there subdued for a few more minutes playing with the label on my bottle of Yuengling.
“Seriously, man are you really gonna make me go all girly and ask you about your feelings or man up and start talking?”
I scrubbed my hands over my face,“Ahh, I don’t know what to say or think. I guess I didn’t expect her to still be this pissed. Hell I half expected her to be married with kids. I think I figured that’s why none of my searches turned up anything. How could she have been so close for so long and I had no idea.”
“Maybe she didn’t want to be found.”He said wryly.
“Yeah well, I kinda gathered that after I practically begged her at lunch today to talk to me and she turned me down flat. I mean I laid it all out and told her I messed up back then and she told me it was my choice and to live with it.”
Jeff winced.“Ouch, man that sucks.”
“Yeah, ya think? It gets worse. I told her I missed her and I couldn’t live with it. She got up and ran away. Then she took off as soon as the conference was over before I could catch her and try to get her to talk to me.”
After we sat there staring at ESPN on the T.V., Jeff signaled for another round, “So what’s your plan?”
“No clue. Ya know, Dr. Asher said something strange to me when I was looking for Hayden after the conference. He said,‘She’ll come around. She’s a tough cookie.’I don’t think he was talking about her being sick. I wondered if he overheard us talking at lunch. When I asked for her office location he said she’s gone home sick. He won’t give me her address, either. So now I have no idea.”Lost, confused and frustrated as hell I just sat there passing my bottle back in forth across the bar between my hands.
Suddenly Jeff stopped with his bottle halfway to his lips.“Doesn’t the university’s faculty come up when we search our hospital email for an email address? I mean since the university and hospital are connected?”
“I think so but what good is that going to do me. If she refuses to talk to me she’ll just delete any email I send without reading it. Plus, I don’t want to say the shit I have to say in any email.”
“Yeah, but it also shows office locations and numbers.”Jeff sent me a mischievous look.
My own mischievous grin spread across my face,“I think you’re right.”
“So again I ask, what’s your plan?”
“Operation Remember is about to assault her office. I’ll just have to remindher what an awesome guy I am. If that doesn’t work, well, I guess a surprise personal appearance might be in order.”
“You could always stand outside her office holding a boom box over your head playing‘In Your Eyes’by Peter Gabriel.”
“Fuck off! This isn’t some cliché 80’s movie,”I enlighten him laughing.
As I paid our tab Betty looked at me and said,“Don’t forget the flowers, lots and lots of flowers. Don’t take the easy way either, young man.”Her finger waging at me.“Do the work. Figure out her favorite, first. Don’t just buy a dozen roses and expect that to work.”Then leveled me with the mom stare.
“Sweet Betty, were you ease dropping?”I asked her as if I’m offended knowing full well I’m not.
“Honey, this is mybar. Don’t for a second think I don’t know what’s happening in my bar. You listen and do what I say, you hear me?”She looks so stern but I know inside there is a heart of gold.
“Yes, ma’am.”I tell her with a wink and we head back to my loft. First thing Monday morning I’m going to start putting my plan into action.
CHAPTER 6
Hayden
“Hayden enough’s enough. You’ve been in bed the last two days. You haven’t had anything to eat, there is fur growing on your teeth and frankly, you’re starting to smell. It is 6:00 PM Sunday night. It’s time to get up. You have classes in the morning.”Brooklyn said as she pulled the down comforter off me.
“Leave me alone! I’m cancelling my classes tomorrow and staying in bed.”I sat up grabbed my comforter and threw it back over my head.
“Oh no, you don’t. You have wallowed enough. You are brushing your teeth, showering and then we are going to the roof and eating this lasagna I made. I know it’s your favorite and you know you’re hungry. I’m not letting you wallow anymore. You are better than this.”This time she pulled the comforter fully off the bed and smacked me on the butt. Grudgingly, I get up and head for the master bathroom.
After an extra-long round of brushing my teeth–because Brooklyn was right they did feel like they have a layer of fur on them–and a 30 minute shower, I finally headed up to the roof with her and our pups. It was a beautiful spring evening. Surprisingly warm. It must have been a warm day. I’m kinda sorry I missed it. It would have been a nice day to go run along the river.
“Are you still running that 5K with me in two weeks?”I asked her as we sat enjoying a glass of Tisdale Chardonnay after dinner.
“No, actually I’m going to my grandparents that Friday morning. So I won’t be home that weekend at all.”
“That stinks but I completely understand. How are your grandparents? I haven’t seen them in a couple of months.”
Brooklyn rolled her eyes,“They are fine. They are just getting back from a month in Europe. You would think they would’ve slowed down the trips since they are in their seventies but nope. They say they will have plenty of rest when they are dead. Man, I hope I’m that healthy and active in my seventies. My sister and brother-in-law are going, too. We are going to ride out over there together. They’re only home for about three weeks before they head off to their Alaska Cruise. I’m glad they’re so active but I worry about how active they are.”
“Yeah, but it’s pretty cool the places they go.”
“True. So are you ready to go back to work tomorrow?”Brooklyn eyed me skeptically
“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks for staying with me and the kick in the butt. You’re pretty awesome, ya know?”
“Yeah, I know. I’m an awesome friend.”She laughed and raised her glass.“To awesome friends.”
“To myawesomely best friend. I love you!”I clinked her glass and we sat finishing our glasses of wine then headed to our lofts to get ready for the week.
~~~
Monday morning I head to my office, unlock the door and I’m instantly rooted to the floor. On my desk sits a thermos of coffee with cream and sugar next to it, a thermos with cinnamon oatmeal, a banana, a vase holding a single white calla lily and a note:
“I’m sorry I prevented you from having breakfast Friday morning. I hope you still like cinnamon oatmeal. Enjoy! x G”
I will my legs to work and sit down at my desk staring. I’m surprised he still remembers the kind of oatmeal I like. I pulled my phone out, snap a picture and texted it to Brooklyn.
How in the world did he get into my office? I lock it when I’m gone. I head out to the department secretary, Mrs. Gilbert to see what she knows.
“Mrs. Gilbert? There is breakfast and a flower on my desk.”
“Oh that’s lovely dear, how nice,”She smiles so sweetly at me.
“Yeah…um, I guess. Do you know how it got into my office?”
“Oh wasn’t there a note Hayden?”
“Yes, but-“
“Do you not know the person it was from?”She quarks an eyebrow at me.
“Yes, he was a friend in high school. He’s trying to get me to call him but-“
Tuesday morning I walked into my office and found three dozen balloons in my favorite color red.“I miss you” printed on each one. The vase on my desk now has two calla lilies, one white one red and a note in front of it,
“Please call me. I’d like to talk. I miss you. 657-389-4512. x G”
Wednesday morning entering my office found another thermos this time with skin milk, a bowl of Lucky Charms, a banana and a black calla lily added to the vase with the other calla lilies along with another note.
“These used to be your favorites, are they still? I hope so, because you’re still my favorite. I was wrong. I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am. Please call me. I really want to talk to you. x G”
Later in the day when I returned from a class the voice message light on my phone was blinking. I nearly dropped the phone, it was Gavin’s voice.“Deni, please talk to me. Just meet me for dinner. Give me a chance to explain. I’ve been searching for you for years. There are things that need to be said. I don’t want to hurt you but I need to talk to you. I miss you.”SHIT! Why the hell is he doing this? Hasn’t he hurt me enough? He can’t possibly be serious about searching for years for me, can he? I sat listening to that message over and over for the next 10 minutes trying to figure out if there was even a hint of a joke in his voice. I don’t know, maybe part of me just wanted to get lost in his deep timber for a little bit. I miss his voice. If I’m honest with myself, I simply miss…him.
Each day for the next week he had something new filling my office along with a new note, another calla lily and messages left on my office voice mail. Each day the messages became more and more pleading.
Thursday: Gavin broke my heart all over again. I instantly started sobbing the moment I walked in to my office and looked at my desk. It wasn’t the standard vase of calla lilies with an additional one added sitting on my desk that upset me, no it was the box from our past. A moment in time I will never forget. It was actually the moment I knew I was in love with Gavin Hudson. Well as much as you can be in love at that age. Sitting on my desk was a box of band aids with Strawberry Shortcake on them. A note sat propped up against the box.
“You probably don’t remember why this is significant but I remember everything about you. We were in first grade when a boy had been teasing you on the playground. He pushed you down and made you skin your knees and ruin your dress. These are the band aids I made the nurse use on your knees. She tried to make me go back to class but I wouldn’t leave you alone hurt and scared. I remember the look on your face and the feel of your hand in mine that day. Please call me. I miss you. I need you. I’m dying to talk to you. Please I’ve searched for you for a very long time. Just talk to me. Please? x G”
I actually remember everything about the event. Gavin and I had been playing with a basketball on the playground. I tried to make a basket and seriously missed. I didn’t even come close to the net causing the ball to go flying out into the field. Gavin took off after the ball and that’s when Jacob Sellers, a bully fourth grader, came up. He was mean and liked to pick on the younger kids. He started making fun of my red hair. He yelled,“I’d rather be dead than red on the head.”I started to cry and yelled at him to leave me alone. He pulled one of my pigtails which knocked me to the ground. Gavin must have seen what happened because next thing I know Jacob is skidding across the ground spread eagled on his stomach. Gavin stood over top of him yelling to“leave my friend alone or next time it will be worse.”To my six year old mind Jacob looked like a monster when he got up off the ground. His face was red and scrunched up. I swear I saw steam blowing out of his ears. He towered over Gavin and before I could say anything he drew back and clocked Gavin in the eye. The teacher saw him punch Gavin and me on the ground crying with my skinned knees. She drug Jacob by his ear to the principal’s office.
When we were in the nurse’s office Gavin wouldn’t let the nurse look at his eye until she took care of me. He then argued with her when she tried to put a regular band aid on my knees. He saw the Strawberry Shortcake ones on her counter. He insisted I needed them because I needed band aids as pretty as me. He said Strawberry Shortcake’s red hair was almost as pretty as mine. After the nurse put a band aid on each of my knees he bent over and kissed each one and said‘all better.’
Gavin wouldn’t leave me sitting there alone scared and hurt. He held my hand the whole time she cleaned my knees and wiped my tears away. Then I held his hand while she checked out his eye. He told me that’s what best friends do and he’d never leave me alone and scared. Jacob never messed with me again. From that point on I knew one day I would marry my best friend. I ended up wrong and I think that’s one of the things that hurt so much. My best friend was gone. He protected me and backed me no matter what until that day our junior year.
I’m glad it’s exam day in my classes. There isn’t any way I could possibly teach today. I don’t even want to talk to anyone. My heart is breaking all over. I really wish he’d stop this. He’s only making seeing him again worse but I know Gavin and he won’t stop until he gets what he wants. Never mind that fact he’s putting me through hell. My heart and body want him but my mind will never allow that and I will follow my head this time. I have to.
Friday: After the band aids left sitting on my desk yesterday I was worried about what would be in my office. I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw red and white pom-poms covered almost every surface. Did he seriously cover my office in pom-poms? The note he left said:
“I loved watching you cheer. Please call me. I miss you. x G
”Where did he get the pom-poms? They are like the ones we use to give out at games in high school to the fans. Ahh, what is he doing to me?
~~~
“Seriously, how long does it take to make a cup of coffee?”I grumble. With Gavin’s full-court press trying to make me remember the fun we had together growing up prevented me from getting much sleep lately. The problem isn’t I forgot the fun it’s I didn’t forget the pain. I remember how awesome our lives used to be when we were young but I also remember the heartache of watching him walk away. I remember the stabbing pain of his words. The empty feeling knowing my best friend thinks I betrayed him and yet not knowing why. I also remember watching the one person I loved more than anything walk around with the one person who truly hated me. Each time I saw them with his arm around her and she noticed me watching she would give me a vengeful smirk and press her body into him. So yeah, I remember and have no desire to head back there.
“Hang on, grouchy, they are pretty busy this morning.”Brooklyn scolds me.
“I know I’m grouchy this morning but I haven’t slept more than a couple hours each night since I ran into Gavin. Ugh, Gavin, what am I going to do about that?”I fuss to Brooklyn.
“Order number 57.”The young girl behind the counter calls. We head up to get our coffee and pastries. Brooklyn and I come to this market most Saturday mornings. This just happens to be our favorite Saturday of the month. Once a month we spend the day pampering ourselves. First the market for coffee, some of the best pastries I’ve ever had, shopping and then to the salon to have our hair done and manicures. I risk putting a damper on the day if I don’t get this grumpy attitude under control.
“What do you want to do about it?”She questions as we take a seat.
I look at her in confusion. What does she mean?“Obviously I want him to leave me alone.”I say as if it’s an obvious conclusion.
“You sure about that?”
“Um, yeah, I’m sure.”I snap back. Shesh, I’m in a bad mood. Why would she think I wouldn’t want him to stop?
Brooklyn doesn’t reply. We finish our breakfast in silence, n
ot uncomfortable silence, though. As we make our way into the first stall her question is stuck on repeat in my mind.
“Hey, B. why wouldn’t you think I would want him to stop?”I question her searching through the sunglasses on the table, trying on a pair here and there.
“Did you call and report it to campus police?”She asks as she checks out a pair in the mirror.
“Oh, I like those B. You should get them,”referring to the pair she currently has on.“Why would I call Campus Police?”
“Yeah, I think I’m going to.”She takes them off to try on another pair.“If someone broke into my office I didn’t want there, I would definitely call them.”
I pause with the glasses half-on-half-off. Shit, that’s a good point. Why didn’t that occur to me? If I really didn’t want him doing any of this I would have followed policy and reported it immediately. Technically, he broke into my office.
After paying for the sunglasses we make our way through the next several booths until we come across the one selling hats. This is Miss Margret’s booth. She’s a sweet hippy lady in her 60’s. I really like her. We make a point to always stop by her booth. She doesn’t have a problem with us trying on all the hats just like little girls would. We try on small old lady hats full of flowers and one we call the weird royal hats. These are the kind that have crazy feathers and veils on them. Ones we would never wear. With hats on we make silly faces at the other’s phone and take pictures. Miss Margret even joins in with us for most of the fun adding scarfs to the mix.
“Look at this new line of charms I started carrying.”Miss Margret waves us over to a new case on the table next to her register.
Lilies Page 5