“Deal, mom, thanks. I love you.”I threw my arms around the most perfect mom in the world that didn’t have to be.
“Yeah, it kind of does. I remember how hard mom worked to talk me into wearing heels to that dance we went to. I wasn’t having any part of it. I still don’t like them, but I do wear them to work. Guess I’ve moved passed some of those thoughts. Though, I do try to avoid them whenever possible, which drives Brooklyn up a wall.”I told him laughing as I pictured Brooklyn’s face last summer when I tried to get away with wearing tennis shoes with a sundress. We were going to be out walking around all day. Yeah, I couldn’t con Brooklyn into it like I did mom.“Do you remember that dance?”
“Of course, I do. You looked beautiful. You know that was around the time I knew I wanted to be more than your friend.”He said as he peeked over my shoulder to look me in the eyes.
“Really?”His admission sends unexpected butterflies to my stomach. You know the giddy kind every girl wishes for.“I didn’t think you saw me as anything other than a friend.”Shifting my body sideways, I put both my legs over one of his while remaining sitting between his legs so I can look him in the eyes. Oh and it totally gives me the ability to snuggle into his neck. I must say, I love to snuggle into his neck. He still smells the same like comfort, home.
“Oh, I noticed you were a girl long before that but wouldn’t admit it.”He smirked at me. Man, I love that smirk.“I didn’t plan on going to that dance. I wanted to go with you but figured you’d go with someone else. I took a chance when you mentioned you weren’t going because you didn’t have a date. I couldn’t figure out why no one had asked you.”
Gavin looks at me quizzically when I start laughing.“Umm…truth?”I asked and he nods.“I actually had been asked by two other guys to go to that dance but wanted to go with you so, I turned them down. Hoping you would ask me.” My laughter dies because another look–that’s two today–I can’t decipher cross his face as I confess my scheme. He isn’t upset, is he? I start fidgeting with my hand suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Maybe we should just head back?
Gavin hooked a finger under my chin forcing me to look him in the eyes.“Baby, I would have taken you anywhere you wanted to go.”Damn, he says the best stuff. His lips brush back and forth against mine before they lightly pressed for a few seconds. Oh. My. Goodness. My insides just melt. This man is so sweet. The feel of his lips on mine causes me to lose my senses.
His hand travels up my arm to cup my cheek. I almost break the kiss and blurt out my feelings or call a halt to it, I’m not sure which. However, Gavin breaks our kiss first peppering my lips with sweet pecks first on the left side of my mouth, then the right, then the middle before repeating the process several more times. I’m lost in the emotion our eyes are sharing; speechless as he pulls back and stares into my eyes for a moment before tucking my head back under his chin. We sit like that wrapped in each other’s arms watching the sunset. He’s so confident and I’m so damn wishy-washy. I wish I could express to him how I feel about him. Instead I sit listening to his heart beat and hoping he feels my love for him.
“Hey,”Gavin is the first to break the silence,“the park is going to close soon. You still want to go to the City Festival?”
“Sure.”I tell him as I start to stand. I’m kind of disappointed to move from his arms to be honest. That was the most I’ve felt at peace in a long time. I guess we can’t stay there forever…as much as I’d like too.
“It’s going to be pretty cool tonight. Wanna stop by my place and get something warmer to wear first?”He asked as we started to get up and brush our jeans off.
“Why Gavin Hudson, are you trying to get me back to your place using lame excuses?”I tease.
With a wicked grin he says,“Baby, if I was just trying to get you back to my place I wouldn’t need lame excuses.”Grabbing my arm he yanks me against his chest, shocking me.“I’d ask and you’d come running.”
“Well you’ve definitely got the arrogant arse bit down.”I challenge but don’t try to pull back.
“Not arrogant, confident, baby, it’s called confidence.”Gavin states never losing that wicked smirk. Just as he leans down to kiss me I dip my head to the side, pull from his arms and take off running back down the path laughing the whole way as he chases me.
~~~
The city closed down four roads around‘The Hub’which is just a large concerted area that serves as the park entrance for all the activities taking place around the river. This was the start of the 5K race we ran a few weeks ago so we parked his SUV in his building’s garage and walked over. My stomach does this embarrassingly loud growl the moment we step inside the gates of the fair. Apparently, my stomach has decided to make itself heard as soon as it got a whiff of the yummy smelling fair food. Fried whatevers…guilty pleasure...yes, please! Laughing the moment we heard my stomach growl, Gavin said,“Well, I guess that answers my question of what do you want to do first? Your stomach must be psychic. I only thought the question.”
“Definitely, food, please. How about those cheesesteaks.”I pointed to a food cart advertising World’s Best Philly Cheesesteaks and Cold Beer nodding enthusiastically.
After getting one of the World’s Best Philly Cheesesteak to split because seriously these things were huge and a couple beers we headed over to a grassy area by a makeshift stage where some local band was playing. It’s a beautiful evening with the unseasonably warmer weather we are having for this time of year. Though, the nights are still cool. I’m glad we stopped to get our hoodies or it might have been too cold.
As I’m enjoying people watching I see Gavin chatting with another couple as he walks back over from getting us another beer.“Hayden, this is Liam and his wife Clara. Liam and I were in the same fraternity in college.”We shook hands and made our greetings before Gavin introduced me as his girlfriend. I had just took a drink of my beer and nearly choked. Sputtering and coughing like a dumb ass. I played it off as the beer went down the wrong tube. I feel so stupid hoping I didn’t embarrass him, but if I did he doesn’t show it. Gavin kissed my temple, which made my heart melt–as always–showing how caring and concerned about me he always is. It isn’t that I’m against the girlfriend title, because I actually like it. I’ve spent so much time fighting us hearing the term surprised me. I’m actually surprised how much I like him calling me his girlfriend.
He stood there with his arm around my waist the entire time we spoke to them beaming with pride. I could feel my resolve slipping. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hold this man off much longer. He’s implanting himself in my life with his sweet gentle understanding and his strong demands when I need it. It’s at this moment I realized there wasn’t any more hiding. I am still in love with Dr. Gavin Hudson. I may not be able to tell him yet, even though once in a while he tells me he loves me, I will soon, though.
CHAPTER 15
Hayden
I’ve stopped avoiding Gavin and started to put some real effort into holding back my fears and giving this relationship a chance. Gavin is much happier with the way things are now and I feel a peace I haven’t felt in a very long time. We’ve been spending a lot of time together since Gavin showed up at my place demanding I stop running. During the week on nights Gavin doesn’t have to work the next day we meet up after my last class of the day. A few times he’s surprised me and showed up at my office to have lunch with me. If his days off were on a weekend he stayed the night with me. We go for walks or runs, watch pointless TV, talk or go to‘On the River’. We haven’t had big glitzy glamour filled times a teenager would spend hours on the phone telling her friend about. No, actually quite the opposite. To most people our lives are pretty quiet, even boring to some but we love it that way. It is nice having him in my life again. The last two months has been the best I’ve ever had. I didn’t realize how much I missed having him around. Now, I just wish my morning was going as well as my relationship.
Brooklyn walked into my office after her morning class just as cam
pus police left, again.“Hey H, as much as campus police are here, I’m going to start questioning if you have a thing going with one of them...or maybe it’s all of them.”She grinned wickedly at me.“Damn, we have some hot officers.”I thought for a second Brooklyn would fall over as far as she was leaning backward out my office door to watch them walk away. While watching her blatant gawking I ball up a piece of paper from my desk and throw it at her.
“Very funny.”I said exasperatedly.“I swear I’m just going to quit coming to my office.”
“Why is that?”She asks as she took the seat across the desk from me.
“Ugh! First Gavin’s assault on my office and now pissed off students.”I fuss throwing myself back in my seat.
“Did you get another note?”I nod and she sighs.“What’s it whining about this time? Seriously, why is this group of students such bellyachers? I’ve had more pissing and moaning in the last year about grades or unaccepted late assignments when all they have to do is their freaking work.”A mix of humor and annoyance laced her voice.
“I know,”I groan getting tired of dealing with the stupidity of it all.“This one said,‘You’re ruining everything!”I said in my best whiney voice.“It was slipped under the main office door. Again, the security footage doesn’t show a face.”I started chuckling.“Seriously, some students think they are owed that diploma and we are here at their beck and call.‘Why can’t I turn in my paper two weeks late?’or‘Sorry I couldn’t take the test, but my dog died?’Okay, so after you’ve had a dog die for the fourth time in one semester, I think I’d stop getting dogs. For once, I’d like a student to walk up to me and tell me the freaking truth. Tell me you were too hung over to get your lazy butt out of bed and come to class. I might actually give that student the chance to make up the test simply because they were honest, you know?”
Brooklyn nodded her head in agreement of my rant.“So now what? Any real concern?”
“Nah,”I shrugged it off,“all the notes are just fussing. Not concerned about them unless they contain threats.”
Shaking our heads we decide on a subject change.“We still on for‘On the River’tomorrow night?”Brooklyn asked as we picked our coffee up and head to a Town Hall meeting.
“Absolutely,”I say enthusiastically,“Jeff and Amy are meeting us there, too, should be fun.”
~~~
“Sorry we’re late everyone.”I apologized as Brooklyn and I sat down at the table Gavin, Jeff and Amy were already occupying.“Had to deal with another note left on my car. That’s the second one this week.”I tell them shaking my head in annoyance.
“What the hell, baby? When is campus police going to do something? That’s like four, right?”Gavin asked exasperated.
“Actually, five over the last two months. One was left under my office’s main door yesterday. It’s actually starting to get on my nerves. They don’t say much and somehow the person leaving the notes keeps avoiding the cameras in the lot. All we know is she is a female and wears dark pants and a dark hoodie. Campus Police changed the location of my parking spot, so now I park in the underground lot for event parking instead of the main faculty lot. One perk is I am much closer to my office.”This actually works out well for Brooklyn and I. No more walking in the elements.
“Should I be worried?”Gavin’s serious expression tells me he’s starting to get pissed.
“No, it’s getting old but no threats so nothing to worry about. I just wish whoever it is would just get over it already.”I wave my hand dismissively.
“You’re sure everything is ok?”He asked sincerely leaning over to get close and look me in the eyes.
“Yeah, Gav, I’m sure. Let’s just drop it and have a good time tonight. Ok?”I tell him trying to reassure him everything is fine. The concern in his eyes assures me how much he really cares.
“Ok”He agrees leaning over to kiss my forehead before heading to play darts with Jeff.
Amy, Brooklyn and I are romance book junkies. Right now I’m on a rocker romance kick, Amy is currently hooked on biker club romance and Brooklyn is into the MMA fighters. Though to be honest we don’t discriminate, any hot alpha male works for us. We spend the next few hours engrossed in a serious conversation comparing the merits of the latest romance novel we read and which of the hottest male actors would play our leading man.
“Charlie Hunnam, definitely.”Amy states
“No way, Ryan Bader.”Brooklyn has her fists up like she’s ready for a fight. I can’t help but laugh. She loves to watch MMA but I think it makes her think she’s so badass, which she kind of is.
“I call bullshit. Have you guys checked out Adam Levine? Seriously he trumps yours, B.”I tease her.
“Oh just mine? What about Charlie Hunnam?”She fires back.
Amy starts laughing,“Right, like anyone trumps Charlie.”She says and I tell Brooklyn how much I agree with my head nodding furiously.
The conversation switches from our favorite leading men to our best and worst dating and sex stories. I tell Amy about my one and only experience. Brooklyn lived through the joke of my college boyfriend. We were laughing at one of Brooklyn’s stories of a high school boyfriend she walked in on handling business in her room when she stepped out to go the bathroom while they watched a movie. Apparently, he thought he was getting some that night and didn’t want to embarrass himself and go too early. It’s safe to say he did not succeed in avoiding embarrassment or nailing B.
Over the rest of the night our topics took many turns. Jeff and Gavin arrive back at the table while we were talking about dreams of family and children, like any women our age desires. Gavin got onto a kick about Amy and Jeff having a baby. I swear he must have bugged them a half a dozen times throughout the night about wanting a niece or nephew. He finally backed off when his sister looked him dead in the eye and told him if they got working on it then he and I needed to get working on it. I actually spit my beer out on that one. Lady like, I know. I knew she was kidding but throwing me under the bus with Gavin was so not cool. I couldn’t help but laugh, though. Gavin went as pale as a ghost. I’m not sure what was more mortifying for him, the thought of a kid or the fact he had to admit, in front of everyone, we weren’t having sex, yet. It was freaking hilarious. Amy already knew this from our earlier conversation, but I highly doubt he had filled Jeff in on this detail of our life. Jeff gave him shit all night. Several times he had Amy, Brooklyn and I laughing so hard tears streamed down our faces.
For the record, I’m not holding out on him as some kind of payback or punishment. We are just taking things slow…letting me get used to the idea of being a couple. Frankly, I’m a little scared to go to that point. I’ve only had sex with one guy, my asshat of a boyfriend my freshman year of college, and it was awful. It was the first time I had dated since everything had gone down with Gavin. I really wasn’t that into him but he kept asking me out so I finally gave in and went out with him. He was good-looking and nice at first but turned into a self-absorbed jerk. After bugging me to have sex for a few months I finally gave into him. We had sex a couple times and he thought he was some kind of sex god. When in reality he wasn’t. He got on and got off, literally. So I ended everything and just didn’t see a need to try it again. My battery-operated boyfriends handled things just fine.
Now, I’m scared I’ll suck at it so I’ve just avoided it. One night Gavin and I were talking about our lives since high school and people we dated. I think he blames himself for how I lost my virginity and my lack of boyfriends since high school. He made me tear up when he told me he wished he hadn’t been such an asshole and instead trusted me that night. Brooklyn’s given me a bunch of grief over it.“It’s just sex, H. Don’t over think it. Your body will know what it wants and what to do.”That’s easy for her to say. Not everyone is as confident with their sexuality as her. I think Gavin can tell I’m not ready because he never pushes me on anything, though, you can cut our sexual tension with a knife at times. We just make out, A LOT. Throw in some hand time and
you’ve got us. I must say, the full on make out sessions are way better than sex ever was with the Asshat.
~~~
It’s been a little over three months since the day of the race. Tonight is Friday night Brooklyn is out on a date and Gavin is working until 11:00 PM so tonight it’s just me and the pups. Gavin doesn’t usually work that late but today has been a busy day in the ER, so he stayed to help with the patient load. I think the lovely May weather we are having is bringing more people outside and causing more people to go stupid and get hurt. I’m not supposed to see Gavin until tomorrow, so I was surprised when the intercom buzzed at 11:20 PM alerting me someone was downstairs.
“Yes?”I ask into the intercom confusion in my voice
“Hey it’s me. Can I come up?”I would normally be excited with a surprise visit but he sounded funny, sad even. I quickly entered the access code giving him permission to enter our floor. When he reached my door he looked dejected. He looked like he had a fresh pair of scrubs on which was kind of weird since he had just come off a 16- hour shift. I immediately wrapped my arms around his waist, looked up into his eyes and asked him if he was ok. The lost look in his eyes tore at my soul. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, buried his face in my hair and started to cry. Gavin never cries. He’s good at staying professionally unattached so this freaked me out a lot. We stood there embracing for what seemed like an eternity but I wasn’t going to stop what he so obviously needs from me. “Gav, what’s wrong?”I asked him once he settled down. He told me they lost a patient today. A male in his mid-20’s due to a car accident. He had to go and deliver the bad news to his fiancé and parents. While sitting and talking to them, Gavin found out they had been high school sweethearts but split up when they went to separate colleges and had just got back together a year ago. They were getting married next month.
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