The Private Bodyguard

by Cowan, Debra

“Not if we don’t.”

  Amazing. They sat there in breathless silence as the animal snuffled, frosting the glass, then sniffed its way down the side of the SUV. After a moment, it disappeared into the darkness.

  Relaxing, Meredith blew out a breath. “That was a surprise.”

  “Too bad I never saw a deer that close when I was hunting with your brothers.”

  Meredith smiled at him, but something about his words nagged at her. Something about seeing. Then things started falling into place. The night she’d found him in her kitchen, the night Julio had shot at them before Gage saw him. Previously tonight when she had come up beside him in his bedroom, startling him. And just now.

  Given where the deer had stood, Gage should’ve seen the animal from the corner of his eye. And he hadn’t. He should’ve seen all those earlier things when she had, if not before.

  “You have no peripheral vision on your right side,” she said slowly, certainly. “Why?”

  She thought he might have winced. He opened another plastic sack and dug out a box of granola bars. “Hungry?”

  “There are only a couple of ways that can happen. One is disease and the other is blunt-force trauma.” She was afraid she knew which it was. Her heart started pounding hard. “Tell me.”

  “I’m fine.”

  She felt his reluctance like a wall. “You told me there were two attempts on your life. That was why you had to go into Witness Security, why you had to fake your death.”

  He stared straight ahead, his face stone-hard in the shadowy light.

  “Gage.” She heard the plea in her voice; she had to know. “They nearly killed you.”

  “Yes,” he confirmed grudgingly. “Once with a gun, once with a baseball bat and a pipe. The bullets missed, but—”

  “You were beaten horribly. That’s what happened.”

  He dragged a hand down his face. “I’m fine now.”

  “Tell me what they did to you.”

  “Baby, we don’t have to talk about this.”

  She scooted closer until her knees touched his thighs. She wanted him to look at her. Her voice shook. “I need to know.”

  After a long minute, he answered. “Broke two ribs, my jaw, my nose.”

  “And damaged your orbital rim.”

  He nodded.

  She swallowed hard. Something inside her went dark and flat. For the first time, she felt how close he’d come to being killed. The realization was a razor-sharp slice through her heart.

  Finally, his gaze met hers. “I’m okay.”

  She rose to her knees, the blanket sliding off her shoulders. With a trembling hand, she reached out and feathered her fingertip against the corner of his eye.

  He froze. She shouldn’t be touching him. Since waking up with her this morning, his body had been humming with tension. He closed his eyes, just for a moment, savoring her silky soft touch against his temple.

  All the need he’d tried to smother the past year crashed over him. Gage couldn’t help pressing into her touch.

  Her hand on his face, the naked emotion in her eyes, her faint apricot scent. She was right there, her breath caressing his skin. All he had to do was shift, so he did.

  His lips brushed hers, lingered. She stiffened. He waited for her to push him away. Instead, her mouth settled against his and a breathless broken sound came from her throat.

  Driven purely by the hot slide of her mouth, Gage teased her lips open, trying to rein in the urge to drag her into his lap, bury himself in her.

  He was shaking, unable to believe she wasn’t fighting him. She tasted like every good thing he’d lost.

  His heart nearly stopped when her arms crept around his neck. She was trembling, just as he was. He was starving for her. He told himself to go slow, savor the honeyed heat of her mouth, but he’d wanted her too long, missed her too much.

  Still, he managed some control until she pressed hard against him and he felt the fullness of her breasts through her sweater and sweatshirt. He nearly lost it.

  His hands cupped her skull and he ate at her mouth. Selfishly, greedily taking what he could get, knowing that any second she would pull away.

  And she did.

  Breathing hard, she placed her hands on his shoulders and held him back. “No,” she panted. “Stop.”

  Yes, she was calling a halt, but for the first time since Gage had found her at the lake house, hope flared that she might give them another chance.

  She must’ve seen it on his face. Shaking her head, she moved away. The dreamy desire in her eyes shifted to regret, then a cool remoteness. “No. We’re over. I can’t be with you.”

  “Even after the trial?” His body ached for her. He literally hurt deep down in his gut.

  “The trial has nothing to do with us. We didn’t end our relationship because of Operation Smoke Screen. It wasn’t the reason things went wrong between us. It was just the last straw. I couldn’t be second to your job anymore.”

  We hadn’t ended their relationship. She had.

  “You still want me.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Baby—”

  “I won’t let you hurt me again,” she whispered.

  The way she was hurting him now. And it did hurt. He knew she had no reason to trust he wouldn’t screw things up again, but that didn’t stop the flash of anger he felt at himself, at her, the whole situation.

  “Don’t…kiss me again.”

  He wanted to point out that while he may have started it, she’d done as much as he had, but he bit back the words. Curling his hands into fists, he managed to keep from reaching for her.

  As she edged away, he had the insane impulse to keep kissing her until she changed her mind. There was no way in hell that would turn out well.

  He’d hurt her too much and evidently he’d be paying for that jackass mistake the rest of his life. No matter how badly he wanted her, pressuring her about it was selfish. He couldn’t do it, even though he knew she still felt something for him.

  This time, maybe their last time together, had to be all about what she needed. He didn’t want to hurt her anymore.

  Chapter 6

  Gage stayed where he was, leaning back against the driver’s side seat, knees bent. He was rock-hard and it took a couple of minutes for his blood to cool. Frost filmed the windows of the SUV. Wrapped in the blanket Meredith had given him, his warm breath puffing out into the frigid air, he could still feel the hot slide of her mouth against his. The freezing temperature didn’t do a thing to douse the burn she’d started in his body.

  She lay a foot away, huddled in a ball under her blanket. In the darkness, he caught the occasional glimpse of her pale hair above the blanket, the white of her socks and part of her shoes sticking out the bottom. If there had been enough light, Gage knew he would’ve been able to see that her lips were blue. She shifted, turned, wrapped her feet in the blanket for the third time.

  Neither of them would get any sleep like this.

  He’d already dug a hole with her so he went ahead and dug it deeper. “We need to huddle together, Meredith.”

  He waited. One, two—

  She rolled toward him, peeking over the edge of her blanket. “What?”

  “It’s really cold in here.” The chill bored into his shoulder like a drill. “I think we can handle combining our body heat for one night. At least, I can.”

  He’d known that would get her. The sharp look she gave him pierced through the thick darkness like a blade. She sat up slowly, the shadows of the night shifting around her.

  “If you’re worried about me getting off on it, don’t be.” He would have to worry about it, but she wouldn’t.

  “I’m not worried about…that.”

  Even though he couldn’t see her very well, he felt her gaze drop to his lap. All his nerve endings popped and his body clenched. Damn. “I got the message a while ago, Meredith. You’re not interested in picking up where we left off.”

  “That’s right.”


  Did she have to sound so certain about it? “We proved this morning we can sleep in the same bed without me jumping you. I want you, Meredith, but I do understand the word no.”

  “I know that.” She sounded defensive.

  “Okay, then.”

  She hesitated, which pissed him off. What did she think he was going to do? Tear off her clothes and start in on her?

  “Yes or no?” he snapped.

  “Yes, but I’ll sleep behind you.”

  “Whatever,” he muttered.

  She crawled around him as he scooted to the middle of the vehicle. After he arranged his blanket beneath them, Meredith helped smooth it out then handed over their only pillow as she lay down.

  Once she was on her side facing him, he settled the other covering over them, tucking it around her feet before he turned his back to her and stretched out as best he could on his left side.

  They both ducked their heads beneath the blanket to trap as much heat inside their makeshift cocoon as possible. Behind him, she was as stiff as a rail.

  The cold sank down around them one numbing layer at a time. Meredith had been taking care of him since he’d arrived. He would like to do the same for her once.

  He caught the scent of her fragrant skin, her shampoo. “Better?” he asked quietly.

  “Yes, thanks.” Her voice was muffled, her breath a hot puff through his shirt.

  She still hadn’t relaxed. The only way she would was if he showed her she didn’t need to worry about something happening between them.

  “I’m going to sleep now, so don’t try anything.”

  He felt more than heard her soft laugh at his teasing. After a few long moments, their breathing leveled out. Gage’s muscles began to warm. Meredith burrowed into him. She had to be asleep or she wouldn’t have done it.

  Her cheek lay flat between his shoulder blades, her breasts burned into his back. The cradle of her thighs held him tight.

  Like a short-circuited screen, images flashed through his brain of them naked. His hands on her, in her. His mouth, too. Over and over and over.

  Excellent idea, Parrish. You idiot. Finally, he could feel his toes again, his fingers. And every inch of Meredith.

  Since forsaking his old life, he’d dealt with only memories, but this was her in the flesh. Her flesh against his.

  Warm breath whispered past his ear. Her hair tickled the back of his neck. The sweet woman scent of her settled in his lungs. She shifted, her arm sliding over his hip and he ground his teeth. He wanted to reach for her, curve his hand around the back of her thigh and lock her to him, but he didn’t.

  He wanted her body, but he wanted her trust more.

  He was going to keep his word, even though she had just kissed him as if she wanted to crawl inside him. He could handle this. He would handle it.

  He’d have a lot more confidence in that if he hadn’t been dreaming for the past year about having her right up against him.

  When early morning light filtered into the SUV, Meredith came awake, toasty-warm, her cheek pressed against Gage’s shoulder blade. Except for the occasional rustle of an animal outside, all was quiet. Meredith registered that her right hand lay flat against Gage’s hard belly. As if she were holding him to her. Even beneath two shirts, she could feel the muscles of his abdomen. His heat pulsed against her like a furnace.

  Cold air stung her ear and the side of her face. A thick frost covered all the windows.

  Still half-asleep, she wanted to slide her hands under his clothes and rub against his hot bare flesh, stroke her hands across his chest, his stomach. Lower.

  The fierce want startled her out of her drowsiness. After she’d told him there would be no touching, she was stuck to him like varnish on a dresser.

  She could tell by Gage’s utter stillness that he was awake, too. Great.

  Before she could move, his body coiled tighter against hers. He shifted, his backside brushing against her and causing a tickle of warmth low in her belly.

  “Morning.” The word came out grainy, velvet-rough.

  His deep slumberous voice stroked over her like a touch and triggered memories she didn’t want. Meredith squeezed her eyes shut. “Good morning.”

  She sounded breathless and a strange urgency hammered through her. For cryin’ out loud!

  She’d told him no touching, no kissing and last night, they’d done both. She might have been unaware of putting her arm around him while asleep, but she had gone into that kiss knowing full well what she was doing. Despite telling herself to pull away the instant she’d seen the intent in his face, she hadn’t been able to make herself move. She’d looked in his eyes and her stomach had tumbled, just like the first time he’d kissed her.

  So far, she’d done everything she’d told him not to do. Irritated, she dragged her hand off him and scooted back, huddling inside her coat, which she’d slept in.

  He sat up, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Did you get any sleep?”

  “Yes.” The frigid air had goose bumps breaking out all over her body as she came up on her elbow.

  Half expecting him to gloat over the fact that he’d kept his hands to himself and she hadn’t, she couldn’t look at him. Meredith pulled her coat tighter around her.

  They climbed out and quietly checked the area then scraped the frost from the windows as best they could. She knew Gage was as relieved as she was when they discovered they were alone. The quiet around them made Meredith fairly certain there were no other vehicles nearby.

  Feeling it was safe enough, Meredith started the car and turned on the heater. They waited only a couple of minutes before slowly forging their way out the other side of the thick woods. Getting through and around the crowded trees, and over mounds of packed dirt and twigs required all of her concentration.

  At some point, she stopped expecting Gage to taunt her about draping herself all over him. She certainly wasn’t going to mention it.

  Descending the twisting, steep roads down the back side of the mountain took over an hour. Then another hour to circle around and reach the highway a few miles south of where they had turned off it last night. There was no sign of anyone following or posted near the highway, watching for them. If the person who had tailed them was waiting, he was probably north of them, close to where they’d left the highway to take the road leading to Watson.

  Once Gage and Meredith were back at the cabin, they carried in the things they’d picked up in Texarkana.

  He’d been quiet during their drive, but when he walked past her into the cabin, admiration glinted in his eyes. “That was some slick driving, Doc. Good hiding place.”

  “Thanks.” She didn’t want to admit how his praise warmed her. “Growing up, I never thought I’d have to go up there to lose a tail.”

  They left the blankets and pillow in the SUV. While Gage put away his small suitcase and shaving kit, Meredith heated up chili for lunch. After eating, she checked Gage’s wound and put on a fresh bandage. She showered, then he did.

  They were both quiet throughout the day. Restless and frustrated about waking up all over him, Meredith wanted more than the space of one room between them, but she wasn’t going to get it anytime soon. She started a load of laundry and tried to take a nap.

  Gage sat at the round kitchen table with his notebook and the dead marshal’s laptop. Meredith finished folding and putting away the laundry, wondering how long they would be here.

  Gage was completely, totally focused on his notes, seemingly unaware of anything else. Of her. How irritating. And familiar.

  Turning off all but the kitchen light, Meredith made her way into the living area. She discovered the fireplace in the corner burned on fake logs, not real wood. They could have a fire without having to worry about smoke from the chimney.

  She settled on the red leather sofa and turned on the television to watch the news, relieved when there was no mention of a dead marshal, protected witnesses, Gage or her. An image of Nowlin lying dead in her hall
blazed across her mind.

  Since shooting him, she thought about it frequently and would for a long time to come. But she didn’t want to think about it now. She didn’t want to think about anything although she couldn’t stop her thoughts from going to the big man at the table behind her. Or that panty-melting kiss they’d shared. Or waking up this morning draped over him like a blanket.

  Across the few feet separating them, Meredith caught his woodsy masculine scent. Shoulders angled into the corner of the sofa, she propped her head on her fist and tried to watch a late-night talk show, but her gaze kept sliding to Gage.

  To look at him, one would think the only thing on his mind was his notebook. Meredith wished her thoughts would go to something else, but watching him made her think about that kiss, want more. And regret it at the same time.

  She itched to offer any help she could, but she stubbornly, selfishly wanted to keep her distance from him. Especially since he acted as if last night had never happened.

  That stung, she admitted grudgingly. How could their kiss be so easy for him to dismiss?

  Finally, she gave up trying not to look at him. He wasn’t aware of her, so she could look all she wanted.

  In the white light of the fixture hanging over the kitchen table, his hair was the color of dark sand. The gray, long-sleeved T-shirt he’d bought in Texarkana stretched taut across his wide shoulders and deep chest. Her gaze roamed up his strong corded neck, the blunt planes of his face, the smooth firm lips she could still feel against hers. That she wanted to feel in other places.

  Her attention rested on his whiskered face. The four days’ growth was more than she’d ever seen. The only times she’d seen him unshaven were when he’d gone on weeklong deer hunts with her brothers. The scruffy beard did nothing to soften his blunt features.

  It did give him an unfamiliarity she found intriguing. As if he were a stranger inside a body she knew well. The contrast struck a chord deep inside her, kindling a dark, new temptation.

  It made her wonder what things she didn’t know about him.

  Remembering the soft scrape of his beard against her chin when he’d kissed her, heat flushed her body. “What is your life like now?”