Just Breathe Series (Trilogy Box Set)

by Martha Sweeney

  After lunch, Joe and I venture over to see the Santa Monica Pier. The view of the ocean is refreshing and many of the shops and restaurants are already open. As we walk, I watch women of all ages ogle Joe. It’s hilarious when the women become louder because Joe’s attention on Sadie and me never waivers. Does he see them, but is ignoring them, or is he really oblivious? I stop to use the restroom and when I come out, I see six teenage girls hovering around him. It’s quite comical. Joe appears to be a little uncomfortable, so I stand at a distance watching for fun, but it doesn’t take long for Joe to see me. He gives me a pleading look and I just smile and shake my head. It’s payback time for this morning. Let’s see him get out of this. All of the girls continue talking to him even as he stares at me.

  Contemplating on whether to further my observation or walk away to torture him more, I’m jarred when I hear Joe say, “Sorry, ladies. My girlfriend is back.”

  They all turn in my direction, following his eyes and gape when they see me grinning.

  “She’s your girlfriend?” one of them questions with mild irritation.

  Looks like she thought she had a chance. Joe doesn’t answer her because he is in full stride towards me. Crap. What is he doing? I was enjoying the entertainment.

  Wanting to avoid any awkwardness, I bend down and pet Sadie as she and Joe approach. When I stand back up, Joe puts his hands on my waist and pulls me into him. I keep my arms hanging as Joe plants a prolonged kiss on my cheek before whispering into my ear, “I know what you are doing.”

  Giggling I deny, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” I suddenly find my hands holding his arms just above his elbows and I’m also keenly aware of our bodies touching below the waist.

  “Keep that up and I’ll kiss you right here in front of everyone,” he retorts with a devilish voice. He pulls back to examine my reaction.

  Even with chaotic emotions swirling inside, I do my best to control my expression. I try to step back, but he gently draws me into him. I’m not sure what has happened to the teenager girls by this point and I don’t care. His head tilts forward like he’s determined to kiss me anyway.

  I look away and suggest, “How about a bike ride?”

  “Hmmm,” he lets out in disappointment into my ear. “Sounds good, but I like what I had in mind better.”

  Playing dumb while still looking away, “What’s that?”

  “I could tell you. Or . . . I can show you.” His lips fall upon my cheek again, lingering longer than usual.

  You put yourself in this situation, Emma, and you need to get yourself out of it before you let it go too far. What is going to be girl? Break your rules or don’t break your rules? You need to decide.

  “I . . . like the idea of . . . going for a bike ride.”

  He moans on a large exhale into my neck and my eyelids flutter in delight. Pull yourself together, Emma. He lightly kisses my temple before slowly, hesitantly lets go of me.

  I temporarily make eye contact as we turn to leave the pier. I’m grateful for Sadie’s presence when she walks between Joe and me as we head back to Nathan’s.

  While waiting for one of the lights to change to cross the street, Joe brings up a neutral topic. “So, tell me about Nathaniel’s.”

  “What would you like to know?”

  “Anything you’re willing to share,” he suggests.

  “Nathan started Nathaniel’s a year and a half ago with only a men’s line,” I begin.

  “And, he’s starting a women’s line now,” he states rather than questions. “It’s a little early to start a second product line.”

  “Normally, for any business I would agree. However, Nathaniel’s is in the green,” I mention.

  “Wow. Really?” Joe’s undoubtedly impressed. “How did he manage that? No business is ever in the green the first few years.”

  Contemplating how I want to explain, I hesitantly offer, “I had some assistance.”

  “You? Not that I’m surprised with the success of your two businesses,” he shares.

  His statement makes me think that Maggie and Jared may have revealed more information about me than I would like. I can address this concern later.

  “Yes. Before Nathan even started talking about the idea of having his own line, I saw his ability. He’s got an eye for fashion. One day when Jared, Nathan and I were hanging out, it came up in conversation. I started asking him some questions, and from his answers, I offered to be his backer right there on the spot,” I explain.

  “So what did he do to get in the green?” Joe searches.

  “Nathan is brilliant with fabric and doesn’t give himself much credit for business ability. I insisted on being a silent partner but made myself available for any questions or needs. Taking my advice, he built his company’s structure and started advertising and networking before the first season’s collection was complete,” I openly add.

  “Wow,” Joe says encouraging me to continue.

  Proud of Nathan, I proceeded to explain more. “He worked with Maggie on social media and Jared started wearing many of Nathan’s looks on camera. Then, Naturally Me featured Nathan and some of his designs three different times before his store opened. We showcased his versatile ability to create fashion that fit the style needs of all men regardless of their sexual orientation. I also had my Naturally Me team video tape Nathan on a variety of topics, some interviews, some sewing tips and tricks that we used to promote and sell his brand before it was even available. Ultimately, we built up hype around him and the need to wear his clothing.”

  “Impressive,” he acknowledges.

  “Opening day, Nathaniel’s had a line out the door that stretched around the block. Nathan sold more than half of his inventory by the end of that day,” I praise. “He’s had to take back orders for most products ever since.”

  “I’ll have to get Jimmy out here,” Joe proposes.

  “Who?”

  “My brother, Jimmy.” Joe clarifies, “James.”

  “Oh. Why?”

  “Aside from running his art gallery, he and his boyfriend, Allen, know a lot of people in the fashion industry. I’ll have to talk to Henry too to see if he knows anyone who may be able to assist with manufacturing if he gets picked up by any stores,” Joe reveals.

  “You don’t have to do that,” I remark, grateful for his offer to help my friend.

  “I know, but he’s a friend,” Joe insists. “Does he need additional capital for the women’s line?”

  “No,” I report.

  Smiling at me, Joe guesses but affirms, “You already took care of it.”

  “Yep.”

  “Hmm.”

  “What?” I inspect.

  “Nothing.”

  We step into the elevator in Nathan’s complex. I glare at him knowing something is on his mind.

  “You just confirmed something for me,” he shares.

  “And what is that?” I pry.

  “That not only are you beautiful and smart, but you’re successful at a whole other level than I realized at first,” he openly states.

  I look away embarrassed and shocked at his words, not unsure of what to say. Fear starts to boil inside of me when he takes my hand and moves in like he’s going to kiss me. Pulling away, I now know that I need to confront him.

  Before opening the door to Nathan’s condo, I turn to look at Joe. I hesitate for a brief moment on what or how to say it. “Nothing will ever happen between the two of us, Joe.”

  Confused, he searches, “What do you mean?”

  Shaking my head before continuing, I sternly contend, “You know what I mean.”

  He pauses, scanning my eyes for something before he hints, “A man can dream, can’t he?”

  A tiny smile dances across his face as I get lost in his eyes, searching. Searching for what? I’m still not sure. I do know this, he just confirmed my earlier decisions about keeping him at a distance. I don’t know what to say or what to do at this point. Keeping our eyes locked, I softly s
hake my head as I hold onto a blank, rigid expression.

  His body moves closer as I stand my ground. My hands are balled into fists at my side as he brushes his right hand’s knuckles over my cheek. I’m not sure how long we stand like this, but it’s long enough. Neither one of us are wanting or willing to back down. His hand shifts to where his palm is cupping my chin as he leans his head forward, stopping two inches from my face. Before he can proceed any further, I cut my head to the right, away from his hand, away from his lips. He breathes a sigh of defeat out before placing his lips on my forehead. Once he backs away, I refrain from looking at him as I pivot to open the door.

  The past two months with Joe have been great when it comes to hanging out. We’ve had all kinds of conversations; business and personal. We’ve joked, we’ve laughed and we’ve had fun. We’ve become friends, which is odd for me since I don’t have any male friends who aren’t gay. Now, out of nowhere he’s trying to kiss me after the stunt he pulled this morning. I know we’ve joked around and flirted a little, but I swear I haven’t lead him on to think that there’s a chance of a friends with benefits possibility or a relationship.

  To my relief, Jared and Nathan are finishing lunch when we enter. This is a great opportunity to either avoid going for a bike ride alone with Joe or to include my friends. I sit on Jared’s lap as Nathan carries several dishes to the kitchen.

  Before I even say anything, Nathan asks, “Have any plans? I’m antsy and need to get out.”

  “We were thinking on biking around town,” Joe mentions.

  “Ooo, that sounds like fun. We’ll join you,” Nathan returns.

  “Sure,” Joe and I say simultaneously.

  The four of us get changed before heading out to rent bikes. We ride the streets for two hours before we get a text from Maggie wanting to know about dinner plans.

  When we get back to the condo, I find out that Maggie graciously fed and walked Sadie. The boys decide to grill again, more confident in their ability since they learned how to properly use the contraption.

  During dinner, Joe, Nathan, Henry and I discuss Nathaniel’s current and future status. Nathan is ecstatic to get additional help and support from his two new friends. If Nathan and I were able to get the business into the green zone in just over one year, I marvel at the concept of what can take place with Joe’s and Henry’s connections. Everyone openly shares ideas as Nathan takes notes for later use.

  Happy as I am to be with my friends, I need to distance myself physically from Joe. As we all cleanup, I check with Maggie to see when she is planning to head home. “When are you heading back tonight?”

  “Henry and I were going to stay. Why?”

  “I’ve got a lot of stuff I need to take care of,” I inform her.

  “It’s only one extra night,” she indicates.

  “I know,” I agree. “But, there are a lot of things I want and need to get done.”

  “I can take you,” Joe offers. “I have a meeting tomorrow and need to head out tonight.”

  “Perfect!” Maggie squeaks.

  I give myself a mental head slap for breeching the topic openly to her in front of everyone. I do have other options like getting a cab, but I know my friends and Joe will insist on me going with him.

  I accept Joe’s offer despite my contention. “Okay. When do you need to get back?”

  Joe shrugs, brushing off the immediate need, “No specific time. Just enough to get sleep.”

  I nod my understanding.

  Crap, crap, crap. I’m going to be stuck in a car with him. He better not make an issue of walking me to my door.

  We all play a few board games to pass the time. Giving ourselves an easy drive on the roads and to avoid traffic, Joe and I head out with Sadie around ten. The ride is pretty quiet other than me instructing him on which roads to take to get to Pasadena.

  “For someone who doesn’t like to drive or be in cars, you sure know your way around,” Joe teases.

  “Use of public transportation,” I comment.

  He must have seen my leg twitching before reaching over to hold my hand. I pull away in agitation, moreover the fact that I’m in a car.

  Joe reaches his hand closer to me. “Come on. I know it helps.”

  He’s right, but it takes me a minute to take the offer. I don’t want him to read into holding my hand to mean anything other than easing my anxiety.

  Joe pulls up to the curb to drop me off and rushes around to help with Sadie and my bags.

  “Thanks. I can take it from here,” I mention.

  He smiles, nods, and quickly leans in to kiss me on the cheek before I can move. His silky lips send erotic shivers over my skin. Looks like I’ll be masturbating when I get upstairs.

  Joe stays close with his hands in his pockets. “See you soon,” he announces more than questions.

  “Yep,” I support. “Goodnight, Joe.”

  “Goodnight, beautiful.”

  Fifteen

  The past two weeks after the snuggling incident with Joe at Nathan’s are peaceful with regards to both business and personal matters. My friends and I didn’t all collectively get together to hang out. Henry had to travel for business and Maggie went with him. Nathan has been spending everyday sewing and hemming, and Jared has been helping him when we aren’t focused on Naturally Me. I spent this past weekend at the We Care Spa alone. Jared and Nathan watched Sadie for me since the spa doesn’t allow four-legged creatures. I’m not sure what Joe had planned, but I was happy to get away.

  Joe texts and calls to get my opinion for his MBA class project. He always manages to call with a few questions, but I know they aren’t the real reason why he is calling. I never call him, but I’ll text with an idea or two that pop into my head. The lack of physical proximity makes it much easier to focus on his questions and topics of discussion.

  Nathan has been working diligently on his upcoming men’s clothing line with a few items for his women’s line to test the waters at how well they are received. He’s been extremely focused and has taken everything that Henry, Joe or I have said into consideration. Most of our suggestions, Nathan’s already implemented or is planning to in the future when the time is right. Nathan has already placed the swimsuit line out on the floor along with a few sample summer dresses for the women.

  Chris has also been to Nathaniel’s discussing his red carpet attire for his upcoming premier at the beginning of September. It looks like Nathan will be creating a custom piece just for Chris on top of his fall collection. Joe and Henry have also put a few of their business colleagues in contact with Nathan with regards to distribution. Nathan is so excited that he’s already envisioning having a storefront in Beverly Hills on Rodeo Drive.

  I’ve been collaborating with Nathan almost every day this week about business, and best of all, this weekend is Easter. I don’t celebrate Easter, but this year is making me reconsider the holiday. Why? Joe is heading home to the East Coast to visit his family and I get a harmonious holiday with my best friends — another weekend free from awkward moments with Joe and Henry.

  Everything with Naturally Me and Raven Media has been moving smoothly and profits have kicked up a little. I’m always impressed with the teams for each company. They not only work hard, but they love their jobs and offer wonderful feedback and suggestions that are regularly used. It’s amazing what people will do or come up with when they are empowered and encouraged. I’ve been specifically working on making some updates to the software Raven Media uses to enhance my contractors’ and clients’ needs.

  My itch for sex with a man returned over a week ago, but I’ve been able to suppress it with the help of increased masturbation or Maggie. I still refuse to interact with Henry, but he’s been a good sport about Maggie and me having our own fun at my place or at his when he isn’t around. I’ve thought about connecting with Chris a few times, but my body is not interested. He’s a sweet guy, good looking, but he just doesn't excite me even in my heightened state of arousal. Plus, he’
s been asking about me every time he sees or talks to Nathan. I’m definitely not moved to have sex with a guy who clearly wants more, especially when I don’t. I’m not the kind of girl who leads men on.

  Every time I do orgasm, alone or with Maggie, the memory of being in the same bed with Joe at Nathan’s pops up. I’m not sure what to make of it. I’ve never fantasized about a man before; well, not this much. I bet if I did have sex with him the fantasy would go away — but, I have my rules.

  The Easter holiday weekend came and went, and in less than two weeks my friends and I will be in Hawaii for Maggie’s and Henry’s three month anniversary. I particularly think that it’s too early to be celebrating anniversaries, but Henry continues to be just as enthusiastic about it as Maggie.

  For as much time as they spend together, I’m surprised when Henry calls me a few times to ask some questions about Maggie. I’m curious as to what he has planned for the trip. Every time I ask Henry about how much I owe him for plane tickets or accommodations, he tells me it’s not necessary. I’m getting suspicious of his response. Jared and Nathan have confirmed that Henry is paying for them as well, which doesn’t explain anything. I should probably give Joe a call to see what I can dig up, though the idea of calling him is not appealing to me. I don't want to sound needy or desperate for information, even though I am, let alone give him any ideas about us.

  As my habit, I text him. “Free for a second?”

  “For you, anytime,” he sends back within ten seconds.

  Before I finish reading his message, my phone rings.

  “Hi, Joe,” I greet.

  “Hey, beautiful. What’s up?”

  My ears never tire of hearing him call me that. He’s been greeting me like that since our bed sharing encounter.

  “Henry’s being weird,” I complain.

  “How so?”

  “He won’t tell me anything about Hawaii,” I assert.

  “What do you want to know?”

  “My part of the bill.”

  “Good luck with that,” he chuckles.

  “You know something. Don’t you?” I accuse.