The True Enemy Revealed

by Jason Cheek

  Coming to a stop, I turned around and studied the defenses on Darom’s walls. In just one evening, Sub-Leader Butcher had taken command and had her Kayden Troopers setup the anti-siege crossbows along the city’s outer walls. Only one in twenty were manned, but it would only take a few minutes for the guards to call up reinforcements to get into position. It was impressive work for less than a day. While they didn’t compare to a Double-Barrel Hollysharp Special, there was more than enough to give anyone a bad day.

  Although, the curses and threats from the captured Dread Pack members had been more than enough motivation for the troopers guarding the city to take proper precautions. Especially, once the newfar prisoners bragged that there was nothing stopping them from telling their friends where they were or asking for help outside of the game. In less than a day, the walls had been secured to a point where I felt comfortable enough to leave my people behind so I could take care of my new business.

  Some of the more obnoxious idiots had thought that my people had to endure their insults and catcalls without retaliation. They quickly discovered the errors of their ways after Sub Leader Butcher educated the worst offenders by living up to her namesake. The only reason the people of the world weren’t taking out their rage and sorrow on the survivors was due to my personal request to not torture the players in their care.

  I’m sure some idiots were going to rip me up on the forums, but what did they think happened to murders in medieval dungeons in earth’s past? How were guards supposed to act towards a player after they murdered the men, women, and children of a city? Maybe the game designers had put safe guards in place to stop being sued, but I wasn’t about to put that to the test.

  While I’d been able to do away with any direct torture, rude behavior and obnoxious threats were another story altogether. The worst of these were typically met by hacking the offenders to death with axes or feeding them to zombies. Although horrific on one level, at least for a Nightmare start player, it only took a few incidences for the Dread Pack prisoners to learn their lessons and kept their mouths shut.

  Turning away from the city, I saw my raid waiting for my signal to continue. With a nod to Sir Hemmet to lead the way, we headed into the twilight under the trees at a run. Without a word, Fylreh took up a moving scout position on one side of our group, while Brenna took the other. At the same time, Neristhana fell back to watch the rear as the rest of us forged ahead. Some might think the military formation was a little overkill, but with everything going on, I didn’t want to be blindsided by an enemy. Besides, who the hell knew where the Dread Pack had fallen back to lick their wounds.

  ***

  “What’s up? Is Jay meeting up with us in Telrain or not?” Turning back to the party, AJ shook his head in mock disgust as Krystal’s lips turned down into a frown.

  “Oh, he’s meeting up with us alright. In the interim though, he wants us to check some shit out that’s going on inside the city.” AJ sheepishly replied, as he eyed his girlfriend.

  “Goddammit AJ, we talked about this!” Jill’s voice rose an octave. “You were supposed to tell him we’re not doing any freaking side quests?”

  “What does Jay need us to do?” Krystal asked, with obvious interest. Raising her voice, she drowned out Jill’s bitching. “Besides, it’s not like we’re doing much of anything else right now.”

  “Ggrah!” AJ wordlessly expelled the air from his lungs as he threw his hands up excitedly. “It’s not a freaking side quest!”

  “Side quest?” Hefe asked, walking up with Bonnie Smash at his side. “I love doing side quests!”

  “It would be nice to do something more than traipsing through the woods all day.” Bonnie happily agreed as Hefe proudly looped an arm around her upper thigh. Blushing at the intimate touch, she playfully shoved her Pookey Bear away. Once again she forgot about her in-game strength as Hefe went tumbling head-over-heels, before coming to a stop five yards away. Hurriedly rushing to his side, Bonnie knelt down next to her brave little Barbarian and hugged him to her ample chest just as he sat up in a daze.

  “I’m so sorry Pookey Bear, I forget my strength sometimes. Are you alright?” Instead of getting angry, Hefe cooed right back to her.

  “It’s okay, Shnukums.” Hefe automatically said, his eyes still half-glazed over from the fall. “I know you didn’t mean to do it. Besides, I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that.” As the two love birds began to canoodle one another under the edge of the trees, Jill made a retching sound in the back of her throat.

  “Let’s go!” Jill groused as she walked out of the woods heading towards the walls of the city.

  “You don’t even know what we’re supposed to do!” AJ called out in frustration as the Arcane mage stalked away.

  “I don’t care what the fuck it is. Anything is better than listening to THAT!” Jill said, as her face screwed up in disgust.

  “Don’t be like that,” Krystal called out as she hurried after the pair. “It’s new love!” In response, both AJ and Jill looked back at her and stuck their fingers down their throats acting like they were puking. Not that she didn’t secretly agree that the over-the-top sickly sweet baby talk was a little bit too much even for her.

  Once Krystal caught up to them, AJ brought them up to speed on what Jay wanted as they strode across the kill zone between the forest and the city. Jill and Krystal would split off and find the pile of bodies that he said needed to be resurrected, while AJ, Hefe and Bonnie would head into the city to find out where the Princess was being held. It wasn’t the plan that AJ had initially laid out, but one the girls had basically shoved down his throat. Normally, he would’ve vetoed that in a heartbeat, but one learned not to piss off his girlfriend and her friend that they sometimes had a threesome with.

  While entering the city sounded easy enough on the surface, they already knew from their experience the day before that entering by one of the four main gates was out of the question. The Chaos Storm guild alliance had the city fully locked down, and no one but their people seemed to be allowed to enter or leave. That in itself was curious, since normally there was a lot of trader and peasant farmer traffic entering and leaving such places. That reason alone made AJ willing to follow-up on Jay’s request. That, and possibly having a chance to take out the assholes that had tried to kill them earlier.

  After being attacked, they managed to make it back to the forest without any pursuit or deaths, which somewhat sucked since as far as AJ was concerned someone needed to die for that stunt. They’d simply hung out and watched the city after that to get a feel for what was going, while making camp for the night. There were a number of players that had a similar experience. Most were lower level and were cut down before they even knew what was going on. Others, like them, had managed to pull a fighting retreat and escape into the forest without any pursuit being sent after them

  Luckily for their current situation, the players were less than interested in pulling guard duty like a bunch of NPCs. While they had groups of ten level 30 somethings at each gate, the only walls that had guards were the ones that faced towards the east. Obviously, Jay was pissing people off like usual, AJ thought with a smile.

  There was also a group of five players that were pulling a slow patrol around the top of the walls. What they were actually supposed to be guarding was up for debate. Instead of, you know, actually guarding their individual sections of the wall, they were all grouped together talking shit and not even bothering to keep an eye out for invaders. Idiots, the lot of them, AJ thought with a shake of his head. At least it should make climbing over the wall easy in comparison.

  Instead of getting a little sugar from either of his ladies, they took off laughing as they left him alone with the two love birds and trying to figure out a way to get over the wall. How the fuck he was going to do that without some rope was beyond him, but none the less he stood at the base of the fifty foot high wall and tried to think. While the stone was rough, it wasn’t rough enough to climb in full armor and gear.
Eyeing Hefe’s Gnome physique and checking his strength, AJ wondered if he could throw Hefe that high when Bonnie Smash spoke up thoughtfully.

  “Why don’t we just bring over one of those smaller trees from the forest?”

  “That’s one of the …” AJ paused as he saw Hefe puff out his chest in his peripheral vision. He wanted to give Bonnie a hard time like he would anyone else in their group, but she was still relatively too new for that. Catching Hefe’s warning look, a broad smile came to his lips. “That’s one of the better ideas I’ve heard in a long time. Do you two want to go grab something real quick while I get everything ready here?”

  “Sure thing, let’s go Pookey Bear.” Bonnie Smash said, taking off at a run heading back towards the woods.

  “What exactly are you going to do to get things ready here?” Hefe huffed, crossing his arms and eyeing the Dwarf.

  “I’m going to enjoy this flask of beer until you get back.” AJ said with a grin. “Better get moving Pookey Bear or you’re never going to catch up to her.”

  “You’re such an asshole!” Hefe grunted out as he gave AJ the finger, before racing after his girlfriend. His little legs pumping as he swore under his breath while trying to catch up with his shnukums.

  “It’s the only way I’m going to be able to handle being stuck with just the two of you.” AJ said to himself, taking another pull on the beer-skin as he watched Hefe go.

  AJ was nearly finished with the entire flask when the duo came traipsing back with one long ass tree. While the weight wasn’t an issue for Advanced start players like they all were, the yard thick trunk was another story altogether for Hefe’s tiny little arms. Combine that with the fact that Bonnie Smash was a six foot, six inch tall Half-Orc mixed with Dark Elf blood, and Hefe was a three foot tall Gnome, they were a walking comedy. Add beer to the mix and AJ was struggling not to say something he’d regret. Unfortunately, no matter how hard he tried, he was rolling on the ground laughing his ass off by the time they reached him.

  “You’re such an asshole!” Hefe reiterated as they came to a stop. Ignoring him completely, they got to work getting the tree setup against the wall. The smaller tree at first seemed to be the perfect thing for the job. Its sixty-eight foot length should have reached the top of the wall without a problem. That was, until they tried to lean it up against the wall and found out that they had nothing to stabilize the tree trunk with. Even worse, the wall actually seemed to jut out slightly over their heads.

  Bonnie was willing to run back for another sapling to use as a brace, when AJ countered with having them just pull the tree trunk out far enough from the wall to give it enough lean to keep it upright. While that worked like a charm, it unfortunately had the side effect of making the tree too short to reach the top of the wall. Now the tree was two to three yards too short. Not an issue for Bonnie or himself, but Hefe, on the other hand, was another story altogether. That came up when Hefe, who was first, reached the top of the tree.

  “Dammit!” Hefe cursed after trying to jump up to catch the edge of the wall with his finger tips and failing miserably. “I’m too short.”

  “Hefe, you’re three feet tall.” AJ called out, balanced directly below him. “What aren’t you too short for?”

  “Seriously man, you’d think I’d be agile enough as a Gnome to freaking jump six feet!”

  “If midgets could jump that high, they’d be in the NBA.” AJ said with a laugh.

  “That’s little people, you ignoramus, not midgets!” Hefe screamed in outrage as he uselessly jumped up and down trying to reach the top of the wall.

  “What the fuck does the Wizard of Oz have to do with midgets?” AJ asked, suddenly confused. “I mean, other than the obvious.”

  “Little People is the polite term you’re supposed to use for midgets, you ignorant ass!” Hefe swore, stomping on AJ’s helmet as the entire trunk began to sway.

  “What the fuck, man.” AJ hollered back. “I’m a Dwarf so I can call myself anything I want.”

  “Dude, you’re one inch shorter in-game then you are in real life,” Hefe shouted back. “That’s NOT a Little Person!”

  They shouted back and forth at each other for nearly five minutes, before Bonnie got frustrated enough to cut in with a heavy southern accent. “Would both of you just shut your pie holes and get over the wall!”

  AJ and Hefe’s argument stopped as they both looked over at the stacked Half-Orc incredulously. “Honey Bear, did you just tell me to shut my pie hole?” Hefe said as AJ busted out laughing.

  “Sorry Pookey Bear, but it had to be done.” She replied sugary sweetly once again. “AJ, can you please help my Shnukums over the wall.”

  “Sure, no problem.” AJ said, as his lips curled into a broad smile. “I’ll help your little Shnukums over the wall.”

  Hearing the tone of his friend’s voice, Hefe gulped and looked down only to scream out in terror as the larger Dwarf ripped him off the top of the trunk by the back of his armor. Hefe just had enough time to suck in a deep breath as AJ hauled him back like a pitcher preparing to throw a strike. A split-second later, he was flying over the wall screaming bloody murder at the top of his lungs. The high pitched wail cut-off a moment later as Hefe landed with a loud series of scraping thumps. That was quickly followed by a frantic scrabbling sound that ended in another horrific scream that abruptly cut-off two seconds later. In the sudden silence, AJ and Bonnie glanced at each other worriedly.

  “Pookey Bear, are you okay?” Bonnie called out in an alarmed voice as AJ raced to the top of the tree. A quick jump and he was scrabbling over the edge of the wall with Bonnie Smash a step behind him.

  They both looked around in consternation at not seeing Hefe on the top of the wall. AJ was just looking back at Bonnie’s saucer-wide eyes, when a painful groan came to their ears from the inner edge of the wall. Scrabbling on her hands and knees, the Half-Orc carefully peaked over the edge to see her boyfriend plastered spread-eagle on a rooftop three yards below.

  “Shnukums, are you okay?”

  Needless to say, they made it down from the defensive wall in one piece by using the building that broke Hefe’s fall, before the patrol came back around. It was relatively easy to make their way down the outside of the building’s stairwell. Not really the smartest layout for a defensive structure, AJ thought, as they began strolling down the middle of the deserted streets of the city.

  Hefe was still fuming at being tossed around like a sack of potatoes as he walked behind AJ’s broad back with a noticeable limp, while his girlfriend cooed over him like he was a baby. It was ridiculous since Hefe wasn’t even hurt. Still, Bonnie offered multiple times to carry her little man until he felt better, which just made a bad situation that much worse as far as Hefe was concerned. That was probably because each time she asked, AJ just howled in laughter that much more.

  “We really need to find some locals to talk to if we’re going to find out where this Princess is being held,” AJ finally managed to get out as he got his laughter under control. Wiping the tears from his eyes, the bald-headed Dwarf continued as he thoughtfully stroked his short-brown beard. “Betcha we could get the answers we need in a pub. Just need to figure out the best way to broach the subject without …”

  “Hey, AJ!” Hefe shouted out excitedly, while he began striding to the far side of the intersection they’d stopped at. “It’s the Smoking Red Dragon!” Seeing the other man’s confused look, he hurriedly continued. “It’s just like the pub from our old campaigns!”

  “Well, shit on me!” AJ thoughtfully said, stopping dead in his tracks. The Smoking Red Dragon was one of those tropes that many Dungeon Masters used in their Advanced Dungeons and Dragons games. All the inns had the same basic structure. Still, it had become a common element used at the beginning of most games to bring an adventure’s party together. Eyeing the decrepit structure, AJ shook his head in disbelief. “It does look somewhat like the place from our old AD&D games.”

  The Smoking Red Dragon was a pub
slash inn. At least, that’s what it looked like from the outside. The sign above the door was a cartoonish picture of a Red Dragon tipping back a large ale mug, while smoke streamed out from its nostrils. The front door was a large slab of solid wood that was reinforced by iron bars. Strong enough to hold out against a serious attack, AJ thought, with a bemused smile. Also, there were no true windows to the place, just darkened arrow slits that were on all three floors. While the whole building was made of the same whitish-gray stone that the rest of the city was made from, this structure also had dark brown pieces of wood crafted into the stone that created rune-like shapes on the outer walls. Very much like the pictures you’d see of old German and Norse buildings. AJ’s inspection was suddenly cut short as he saw Hefe striding up to the door with a purpose.

  “What the hell are you doing, Hefe?” AJ worriedly called out as he ran after his pint-sized friend who was already opening the door with Bonnie at his back.

  Reaching the door before it fully closed, AJ yanked the door open and slipped inside, hurriedly looked around for the Gnome Barbarian and his Half-Orc girlfriend. As his eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, the first thing he could make out were the decrepit wooden long tables that took up most of the main room.

  All of them were filled with unsmiling hard-faced men and women in civilian clothing that glared at the trio with open hostility. A quick glance at the nearest table while using his Identify made him blanch as he saw they were all in the mid-level 30s. At the center of that hostility was a large fireplace where an immense pig which was being slowly roasted on a spit over hot coals.

  Movement towards the middle of the room caught AJ’s eyes. That, unfortunately, was when he saw Hefe stomping past the tables as if he owned the place. AJ was just hurrying forward to stop the idiot from doing anything else boneheadedly stupid, when the Gnome Barbarian jumped on top of the cutting board on top of the stone hearth. Puffing his chest out, he looked out at the sea of hard faces.