Love Is the Drug

by K. E. Saxon

  Jason got up without saying another word and walked toward the craps tables.

  He had proposed to Julie that night. That hadn’t been a dream. And it hadn’t been some drunken—or drugged—lark, either. It’d been for real.

  He remembered.

  * * *

  When Jason returned to his and Julie’s room in the wee hours of the morning, he was relieved to find her in their bed and no sign of the photograph anywhere.

  They still hadn’t made love. Not since before that day he found that pregnancy test and those damned useless condoms. And for the first time in his life—well, other than that highly embarrassing episode with Giselle—he really didn’t want to.

  What he did want—needed more than anything—was to feel Julie’s arms around him.

  So he got out of his clothes as quickly as he could and slid under the sheets with her.

  She half-awakened when he put his arms around her and rolled her into his side, but an unutterable peace descended soon after when she snuggled into him even more, kissed his chest and settled her arm over him, giving him a hug at the same time, too.

  Bliss.

  * * *

  It wasn’t until another day after that he was able to get her to the marriage bureau. The day before he’d spent on the links with several of the VIPs of his and Paul’s newest project and, by the lovely, dark-tanned tint of Julie’s skin, it was clear that she’d spent a good portion of the day poolside.

  Jason strode into the bedroom of their hotel suite. “Wake up, sleepyhead. I’ve got a surprise for you.”

  Julie was curled on her side in bed, but she rolled over and propped herself up on her elbow when she saw him. The curtains were drawn, so the room was pretty dark. “What time is it?” she asked and turned on the lamp next to the bed.

  “It’s just past nine a.m.”

  She nodded and got out of bed.

  “Here.” He handed her a garment bag.

  She gave him a look, both quizzical and filled with suspicion. “What’s this?”

  “Open it and see.”

  She tucked her hair behind her ear and laid the bag on the bed before unzipping it. She scooted the plastic garment covering off the dress and brought the dress up for inspection. “Jason, it’s exquisite.”

  “Hurry and take your shower and put it on, okay?”

  “Whyyyy?”

  “I told you, I’ve got a surprise for you—and my dad.”

  She shrugged. Then she gave him a sleepy smile and reached up and kissed him. “Give me an hour, okay?”

  He nodded. “I’ll be back for you then. I think I’ll go down to the casino in the meantime.”

  * * *

  Julie watched Jason leave. Was he whistling? Yep, he was definitely up to something, all right. But, if his dad was involved, it was probably not anything too dangerous—like bungee jumping, or skydiving, or something. And no, she would not put it past him to make her wear a dress to do that. He’d probably get a real kick out of seeing it fly up on the way down.

  What a guy.

  She hung the dress on the hook over the door. It was really pretty, she’d give him that. It was satin, lined with silk, and close to the same creamy-white color as the nightgown she’d gotten on her last trip here. Sleeveless, and deeply vee’d, it had a long and lacy empire waist, with a straight, just-above-the-knee skirt.

  Jason sure was full of surprises. Who’d have thought he could pick out something like this?

  Leather? Yes. But satin and lace? What a shock.

  Maybe he was taking them to one of the five-star restaurants for brunch, or something.

  She looked over at the alarm clock on the nightstand. Oops! She only had forty-five more minutes now. Better stop dreaming.

  * * *

  “Jason! I’m wearing red pumps, I can’t get married like this!” But they were already inside the chapel, so she didn’t see how she was going to get out of it now.

  His eyes did a slow, hot burn down her torso all the way to her feet. “You look gorgeous. And I like the red shoes, they’re sexy.”

  “But the pictures and the video….”

  “Tell you what. I’ll ask the guy to only shoot us from the waist up, how’s that?” Then he bent down and rumbled low in her ear, “Except for one picture—just for me, okay?”

  A thrill ran down her spine and she shuddered. “Okay, you devil.”

  “Where’s Elvis?” Gabe asked from behind them. “I thought he said this would only take a few minutes. We’ve been in here at least ten just waitin’ on him.”

  “Simmer down, Dad. The guy’ll be here in a minute. Go on up to that front pew and I’ll be there in a second, okay?”

  Gabe nodded and took a step in that direction before swinging back around and planting a quick kiss on Julie’s cheek. “This is kind of fun, isn’t it little gal?”

  Julie chuckled, “Yeah, I suppose.”

  “Don’t worry, Julie. We can still have the other ceremony in Houston, like we were planning.”

  She shrugged. “Maybe. To tell you the truth, I kind of like not being on display in front of all your friends and business associates. It was making me nervous just thinking about it.”

  Jason gave her a hug and said, “You stay here, like Elvis said, and I’ll meet you up at the altar in a few minutes.”

  Julie nodded. Was this really happening?

  But it was. Because a second later, Elvis came through the door with the cameraman-slash-photographer. It didn’t take long for everything to get set up and then he cued the music and sang to her as he led her down the aisle to Jason’s side.

  All total, the whole thing took about five minutes. It was corny, but memorable and they sealed their vows with a kiss while Elvis sang Viva Las Vegas. And that was just fine by Julie.

  Gabe even got up and started to dance and sing along.

  One thing Julie knew for sure: Life with Jason would never be dull. He was like an amusement park ride gone out of control and for someone like her, who wasn’t used to taking risks, it was seriously scary, but fun. And totally amazing. Because no matter how panicky she got, when she was with him, she knew she was safe.

  * * *

  As the three of them walked across the lobby a half-hour later, Jason had one thing, and one thing only on his mind: Sex. Hot and steamy. Nasty and dirty. And sweaty as hell. “I’ve got to make a quick trip over to the pharmacy. Dad, do you want to have a drink with Julie at the bar while I’m gone?”

  There was a definite twinkle in his dad’s eye when he said, “Sure, son. You bet.”

  Jason hauled it out of there then. Twenty minutes max, he figured, he’d be up in the suite with his foxy bride. Naked.

  But fifteen minutes later, when he strode across the lobby toward the bar, his heart jumped into his throat. He skidded to a stop and stared.

  Then, slowly, he began to move. One step at a time, he came closer to the scene playing out before him, until finally, at last, he stood at Julie’s side. “Jason, you’re back. Meet my friend. This is Kelly Blanton—”

  “Simmons now,” the young woman said with a smile and held out her hand to him.

  Jason took it and gave it a friendly shake, but his eyes were drawn once more to the baby in Julie’s arms.

  “And this,” Julie continued, “is Bella.” She bent down and rubbed noses with the infant and it cackled up at her. Its dribble-y lips were wide open with glee. “You are a bella girl, aren’t you?” she said to the baby.

  Jason had never seen a glow like that on Julie’s face before. Never. Not even after they’d made love.

  She wanted this. Really wanted it. But she’d sacrificed that longing so she could be with him.

  Because she loved him that much.

  What a selfish sonofabitch he was.

  And then she kissed the infant’s brow and breathed in Bella’s baby-soft scent and a warm, melt-y feeling filled his chest, right in the vicinity of his heart. In that instant, he knew something else: It’s what he
wanted, too. Real bad. He wanted, more than anything, for it to be his baby she held.

  Because he needed that ultimate connection to her—that melding of genetic information that would form a little human—part her, part him. It was past time to let go of his stubborn fixation on how he came to be in this world. And he understood—really saw—that it didn’t matter to his dad and it sure as hell didn’t matter to Julie.

  In that moment, Jason felt like Sisyphus released from his curse; the weight of his fear, and the hatred and resentment, too, that he had carried so long—all gone.

  He knew exactly—exactly—what he wanted now. He wanted children. With her. There was no more fear, no more disgust. Only joy and a serious amount of excitement—like the thrill you got when you won the million dollar jackpot with the only coin you had.

  He dropped the pharmacy bag on the bar.

  “Julie, I’ve got to talk to you about something. It’s urgent,” he said close to her ear. But his dad heard—eyed the bag. He gave Jason an assessing look, then nodded. “Kelly,” Gabe said, “mind if I hold Bella?”

  “No, go right ahead. She loves the attention.”

  Jason lifted the infant out of Julie’s arms. “Here sweet girl,” he said and settled her in his dad’s arms.

  Then he took Julie’s hand and pulled her toward the elevators, saying, “It was nice to meet you Kelly—maybe we can all get together for dinner later.”

  Kelly gave him a knowing grin. “Sure. Your dad and I can settle the arrangements. And—nice to meet you too!” The last was said at a higher volume, since Jason and Julie were well across the lobby by this time.

  * * *

  “Well, that was about as mortifying as it gets,” Julie said on the way up to their suite. “What on earth is so important that you had to embarrass me in front of my friend?” She turned to face him head-on then with her arms crossed tight over her chest. “And I swear to God, if the eff word is formed on those lips during any portion of your response, there’ll be a blizzard in you-know-where before you actually perform that act again with me—got it?”

  Jason leaned against the brass railing and grinned. “Yes, ma’am.” He lifted his hand and tucked her hair behind her ear and then soothed her flushed cheek with his thumb. “You know I love you, right? I mean, that I’m in love with you?”

  Her eyes grew as wide as half-dollars and her throat worked, but she nodded her head.

  “Good.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her soft, warm lips, then he said, “And you love me, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Say it then.”

  “I love you, Jason.”

  His heart tripped and then thudded to life against his breastbone. “Man, those are some powerful words, aren’t they? He grabbed hold of her shoulders and gave her a quick, hard kiss. “Let’s make a baby, Julie.”

  “Wh-what?”

  “You heard me. I want a baby. With you. I want to see that glow on your face again. To give you what you want. Make you happy.”

  “I want to give you what you want, too. Make you happy.” She unlocked her arms and stepped into him, placing her hands on his cheeks. “I’m so pleased—impressed—that you’re trying to take such a big step. But, Jason, you aren’t ready. Not yet. And I’m fine with that. It’s enough for now that you’ve opened your mind to the possibility.” She raised up on her tiptoes and kissed him. Afterward, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. “Oh, Jason, I’m so proud of you.”

  The elevator door opened and Jason lifted her into his arms. “Okay, Mrs. Jörgensen, time to christen our marriage bed.”

  Julie giggled. “Jason, that was downright quaint! I didn’t think you had it in you.”

  “Well, you did say I couldn’t use the word fuck.”

  Julie slapped him on the shoulder. “Jason Jörgensen you have got to stop that potty mouth. I won’t have a child of mine talking like a sailor on leave.” Her eyes twinkled and she grinned at him. A calculating look came into her eye. “In fact, I’m going to put a cuss jar in every room of our house. And at twenty bucks a pop, we should have enough for the kid’s college education in a year.” She kissed his cheek. “Just about the time you’ll really be ready to make a baby, I think.

  But Julie was dead wrong. He wanted to make one now. Right now. And when, a while later, he entered her without any barrier between them—flesh to flesh and heart to heart—she finally knew it too.

  * * *

  EPILOGUE

  It hadn’t been as easy as Jason had thought to get pregnant. It had taken another two months before they finally got a positive reading on one of those pregnancy test strips.

  And now, ten months later, nearly a year after his first encounter with Mrs. Dillon, here he and Julie stood, once again waiting for the older woman to answer her bell.

  Julie had kept in touch with the lady all these months and over that time, with much prodding from both Julie and his dad, Jason had come to terms with his relationship to the woman.

  But the truth was, it wasn’t until his little Gabriella was born, not until he’d held her in his arms and seen how absolutely perfect she was, that he could finally feel completely at peace with the reason for his own existence on this planet.

  He guessed it had been in that moment that his eyes had truly been opened fully. That he’d seen clearly—with his heart—as everyone had kept telling him to do.

  Of course some of that had happened the day he’d seen Julie with her friend’s baby. The day he’d realized making her happy and building a family with her trumped every anxiety and fear he had. And boy, what a payoff he’d gotten for that realization!

  His daughter started fussing again so Jason began to bounce with her to try and soothe her. “It’s okay baby girl,” he said softly and pressed his lips to her angry brow.

  The door swung open. “You’re finally here. I’m so glad!” Mrs. Dillon said.

  Julie gave her an apologetic smile. “Yes, we had to make a few stops, I’m afraid. Gabby’s been a little irritable.”

  “It’s good to see you again, ma’am,” Jason said then.

  The older woman’s cheeks pinkened and she gave him a hopeful smile. “Come in, come in,” she said and stepped back for them to enter.

  Jason lifted the corner of the receiving blanket away from Gabby’s chubby-pink cheeks and turned her toward Mrs. Dillon. “Here’s your great-granddaughter,” he said.

  “Oh, my! She’s just lovely.” The older woman’s eyes misted as she gently stroked the baby’s cheek with the pad of her index finger.

  “Sorry, but my dad’s waiting in the car. The flight to Jacksonville leaves in just a couple of hours, so we better get back on the road pretty quick,” Jason said.

  Mrs. Dillon nodded and hurried over to grab her purse. “Will you take me directly to the Memorial when we arrive? I don’t think I can wait until morning.”

  “Of course we will,” Julie said.

  Jason handed Gabby to his wife and then hauled his grandmother’s suitcase up under his arm. “Ready?”

  She nodded and walked toward the door, with Julie and Gabby in her wake.

  Jason did a quick scan of the room. His eyes settled on the pictures of the boy who’d fathered him. As he looked at the youthful face—trying so hard to look like a man—he reached into his pocket and touched the Purple Heart the kid had more than earned, and as Jason did so, he felt the final cog in his soul’s grinding gearshift fall into place.

  [The End]

  Author’s Note

  The antagonist in this book was not easy for me to write. I knew when I started writing this story that I wanted it to be about a man dealing with the trauma of learning that the father who raised him is not the father who made him. I also wanted the hero to learn that he’d been conceived during the rape of his mother. However, I also knew that I wanted to redeem the rapist, the biological father. In brainstorming this concept, I finally came up with the idea that the biological father would have ended
his life a hero. As I greatly admire the men and women who serve in the military, and as I knew a boy who died in the bombing in Beirut in 1983, I decided to make the biological father a military hero and casualty of that bombing. For any friends or family members who lost loved ones that terrible day, please know they are not forgotten.

  Thank you for reading

  Love Is The Drug

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  New Release!

  Highland Vengeance

  Book One in the Highlands Trilogy

  By

  K.E. Saxon

  A Family Saga / Adventure Romance

  Set in the turn of the thirteenth century Scottish Highlands, this is the story of Daniel MacLaurin, a handsome, rugged warrior-laird haunted by his past, and Maryn Donald, the beautiful, high-spirited lass destined to help him find his heart's ease.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  K.E. Saxon is a third-generation Texan and has been a lover of romance fiction since her first (sneaked) read of her older sister's copy of "The Flame and the Flower" by Kathleen E. Woodiwiss. She is a member of the West Houston Chapter of Romance Writer's of America and is a devoted subscriber to the Romance Divas online forum, as well as Indy Writers Ink. She has two cats, a 24-year-old cockatiel, a funny, supportive husband, and a garden that's been fried by the recent drought. When she isn't in her writer's cave writing, you can find her puttering in her organic vegetable garden or in her kitchen trying out a new recipe. An animal (and bug) lover since before she could speak, she made pets of all kinds of critters when she was a kid growing up. Her mother even swears that she made a pet of a cockroach one time (but K.E. doesn't believe her). She likes to write funny, sexy romances.