A Child on the Way

by Janis Reams Hudson

  “Do you mind if I turn on the lamp?” Jack asked.

  If she could have thought of a way to see him in the dark, she would have said no, that she wanted the light off. But she desperately wanted to see him. If that meant he would be able to see her, she would try not to think about it. Instead of answering, she turned to the nightstand and switched on the lamp herself. The room filled with a soft buttery glow.

  “But I warn you,” she told him nervously, “what you’re about to see is not a pretty sight.”

  “If you’re talking about this,” he said placing his hand over her belly again, “I’ll have to disagree. I’ve told you that before.”

  Yes, he had told her before that she wasn’t fat, that her extra bulk was caused by the miracle of life. That he liked the way she looked. Still, he had yet to see her without her clothes. He might yet change his mind. But when he started kissing her again, she forgot to worry about what his reaction might be.

  “You might not like what you see beneath my clothes, either,” he said.

  “Oh—” she undid the first button on his shirt “—I can pretty much guarantee I will.”

  “I hope so.” He let her continue unbuttoning his shirt while he nibbled his way across her face and down her neck. “I want to please you. I want to make you feel all the things I feel when you kiss me.”

  Lisa’s fingers fumbled at every nibble. Maybe it wouldn’t matter that she wasn’t any good at this. He seemed to be good enough for both of them. And she had a feeling she was soon going to be extremely grateful for that.

  “There’s another reason I call you cupcake.” With both hands he stroked gently down to her breasts, then over her abdomen. “Because I can’t wait to peel you out of your wrapping and gobble you up.”

  Who would have thought, Lisa wondered, that talk of cupcakes could make a woman’s knees turn to water?

  Jack caught her as she swayed against him, and then he did what he’d been wanting to do. He peeled off her shirt and felt her bare flesh beneath his fingers. It was every bit as soft and silky as he’d imagined. Her bra was pale blue lace, almost too pretty to be covered up all the time. He had no trouble getting it off her.

  “So beautiful,” he whispered, stroking the peaks of her breasts.

  Lisa sucked in a sharp breath. The sensation of his fingers on her nipples struck tingling heat straight to her core. His name left her lips on a breath. Then the room spun and the floor tilted away. It took her a moment to realize that Jack had picked her up in his arms and was taking them both down onto the bed.

  In seconds he had shed her of the rest of her clothes. He did it so fast and so easily that there was no time for her to be embarrassed or self-conscious before he was stroking her bare belly.

  “This is…amazing. It’s harder, firmer than I expected. And your skin—it’s so delicate to begin with, it’s a miracle it can stretch so much. Does it hurt?”

  He was so sweetly, wonderfully absorbed in her belly that Lisa felt her heart turn over. “No, it doesn’t hurt.”

  “She’s quiet in there.” He bent down and pressed his lips to the spot just below her navel. “You just sleep in here, you hear? You’re too young for what your mama and I are about to do.”

  Lisa smiled while her eyes misted over. He would make such a wonderful father—if only he would let himself love a woman. He said it was because he simply didn’t have it in him. He thought he wasn’t capable of that kind of love. But he was wrong. She wished she knew a way to convince him, but then it might sound as if she was trying to talk him into loving her. She couldn’t do that to him. He trusted her with knowledge that was personal and private. She could not, would not do anything to make him think she might betray that trust. Just as he wouldn’t betray the trust she’d given him by confessing that she was a failure at satisfying a man. He hadn’t believed her any more than she believed him.

  When he took off his shirt and she pressed her hands against that hard-muscled chest, he made a sound deep in his throat, half growl, half groan, that sent a rush of pleasure through her almost as great as when he stroked her. As they touched each other, learned each other’s shapes and textures, he let her know in a dozen different ways that he very much liked her touch.

  And she liked his. He made her feel things she’d never felt before. Such pleasure, such joy. With words and touches, kisses and small love bites that shot jolts of electricity through her, he loved her, encouraged her. For the first time in her life Lisa reveled in the sheer power and excitement of being a woman.

  But she wanted more. She wanted it all, wanted him inside her. “Jack.”

  “Yes.”

  She was gratified to realize that he was as breathless as she.

  “Like this,” he added. He rolled to his back and lifted her astride his hips.

  “Oh…” She didn’t wait, couldn’t. “Yes.” With her hands braced on his chest, she lowered herself and took him in.

  Jack held his breath against the need to slam into her, but this was too good to rush. As he looked up at her rising above him, her face tense with pleasure, her full gorgeous breasts filling his hands, her womb expanded with the miracle of life, he knew he’d never seen anything more beautiful or more erotic in his life.

  Then she lifted herself up slowly, so slowly, and slid back down. Then again. And again. Until he thought he might die of sheer ecstasy. That wasn’t a word he normally used, but it was the only word in his mind when he felt her inner muscles contract as she shot over the edge.

  His control snapped. He gripped her hips and thrust up so hard and high that his back came off the mattress. He thought he cried out her name as he pumped his life force into her, but his mind shut down, so he couldn’t be sure. It didn’t matter. Only the pleasure mattered, and the woman who so generously shared it with him.

  Lisa lay on her side where she had collapsed, half on, half off Jack. If she didn’t move, he was going to feel the tears she couldn’t seem to stop.

  “No,” he said when she tried to push away. “Don’t—you’re crying.” He eased her onto her back and raised over her. “What’s wrong. Did I hurt you? Is it the baby?”

  “No, no,” she said in a rush. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m sorry. Nothing’s ever been more right. I mean that, Jack. I don’t know why I’m crying.” But she did know. She was crying because she knew now, without a shadow of doubt, that she had done the unthinkable. She had fallen in love with him.

  “Well, then.” He nuzzled her cheeks and sipped the moisture away. “I guess you know this means I won the argument, hands down.”

  At his smug teasing tone, she sniffed away the last of her tears. “What argument?”

  “The one about whether or not you’re any good at this.”

  Lisa smiled. “I guess I was, huh?”

  An intense look came into his eyes. “If you were any better, I don’t think I would have survived.”

  Twice more they made love. Sometime during the night Jack must have turned off the lamp, for when Lisa awoke, the room was dark. The glowing numbers on the digital bedside clock told her it was nearly three in the morning.

  The night had been a revelation to Lisa. She’d never dreamed she was capable of that kind of uninhibited response to a man. Never dreamed a man could be so gentle, yet sometimes fierce with it.

  She’d never dreamed, even during those first heady days with Roger, before their troubles began, that she could love a man so deeply that she ached with it.

  He slept beside her now, his breathing deep and even, his strong arms enveloping her in warmth and security. “Oh, Jack,” she whispered. “You’re so wrong about yourself. You are the most loving man I’ve ever dreamed of. I love you.”

  But Jack wasn’t asleep. When she’d started talking, he had almost answered her. Then, as she went on, he was incapable of answering. She couldn’t mean what she’d said. She couldn’t love him. Not really.

  But what if she did? If ever there was a woman he might be willing to take a chan
ce on, a woman who could teach him how to love, it was this one curled up in his embrace.

  It would never work. She couldn’t afford to gamble her future, her happiness, the welfare of her child, on whether or not he learned what it was to love a woman.

  He could promise her loyalty. She would never have to worry about other women. He could promise her security, and more nights like tonight. He could make her laugh, keep her warm, take care of her and her child. He could give her his name, his home, his family. He could give her more children. He could give her everything he was, everything he had inside him.

  Would those things be enough for Lisa if he never found that illusive love inside himself to give her? Or would she one day grow discontent to live without the love she deserved?

  The deeper her breathing grew, the greater his confusion. What was he supposed to do—let her walk out of his life?

  When he thought of the future, he couldn’t imagine it without her. And that terrified him. Because she would leave him. Even though she thought she loved him, she would leave him. She wasn’t looking for a permanent man in her life; she’d said so often enough. The women in his life always left him.

  Lisa awoke with the sun streaming in through the window. That she was alone in her bed did not surprise her—he had a ranch to run, after all, and couldn’t loll around in bed all morning. But she couldn’t help the ache that formed around her heart at waking up without him. It was a crippling ache, for she knew that Jack didn’t return her feelings. Yet it was a good ache, because it felt absolutely wonderful to be in love.

  Now all she had to do was find a way to survive—if she couldn’t convince Jack to trust her with his heart.

  None of the men were coming in for lunch. Jack had left her a note saying they would all be out repairing fences and not to expect them until supper. He had addressed the note to Cupcake. Lisa held it to her heart and smiled. Never mind the dull ache in her lower back. She felt as if she could dance on air. It was amazing what a few good orgasms could do for a woman.

  But now that she had an entire day to herself, she intended to clean the house. Belinda and her family were due back in two days, and Lisa thought of her earlier resolve. She wanted them to find the place as clean when they returned as it was when they left.

  She gathered a few cleaning supplies from the pantry and carried them out into the kitchen. She set them on the counter next to the sink, then turned—and stifled a shriek.

  “Hello, Lisa.”

  Her heart jumped right up into her throat. “Roger. How did you get in?”

  “I hope you don’t mind. The back door was unlocked.”

  “So you just let yourself into someone else’s house?”

  “I’m sorry. I missed you so much I couldn’t stay away any longer.”

  Lisa nearly choked. He was putting on his sincere act, obviously thinking she still suffered from amnesia. She wondered just how far he would go.

  “Please say you’re ready to come home with me, darling. I can’t bear the thought of going home without you. Shall I help you pack?”

  “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  “Oh, but you must, sweetheart. You have no idea how lonely I’ve been these past days without you. If not for your amnesia, I know you would have been desolate without me. I can’t tell you how sorry I am that it took me so long to get here.”

  Lisa had heard enough. With a sarcastic smile, she started clapping.

  Roger blinked in confusion. “What are you doing?”

  “Applauding your performance. You won’t win any Oscars with it, but someone who doesn’t know you might buy it for a few minutes.”

  His gaze sharpened. There was recognition in her eyes. She knew him now.

  The temperature wasn’t quite forty, but Jack had managed to work up a sweat wrestling with stubborn wire torn down by a herd of elk. With his hands occupied, he turned his head and wiped his forehead against his shoulder, then rubbed at the nagging itch on his left ear.

  “What’s eating you?” Trey demanded.

  Jack grunted and took another hitch with the come-along to stretch the wire tighter. “Nothing’s eating me.”

  “The hell you say. Hold it there.” Trey held a staple in place over the wire and hammered it into the fence post. “One minute you’re all dopey-eyed and grinning like a possum in the corn crib, the next you look like you just ruined your best boots.”

  “You’re imagining things.”

  “Hmm.” Trey hammered in another staple. He knew a man with woman trouble when he saw one. “So how’s Lisa?”

  “What do you mean?” Jack snapped.

  Trey nearly laughed out loud. “Nothing. Just asking. Has she remembered anything else yet? Anything about that guy who showed up claiming to be her husband?”

  Jack grunted again.

  Trey noted that there’d been a lot of that going on this morning.

  “Ex-husband,” Jack muttered.

  “What?”

  “He’s her ex-husband.”

  “She remembered that?”

  Jack scratched his ear again. “She remembered everything. Just boom, and it all came back to her. Damnedest thing.”

  “Hold that there.” Trey stapled the wire to the next post, the one nearest Jack. “Okay, ease off. I’m taking a break.”

  “Come on, we’ll never get finished if you keep taking breaks,” Jack complained.

  Trey taunted him with a grin. “In a hurry to get back to the house, are you?”

  Jack’s only answer was a snarl. Wiping his forehead with the back of his gloved hand, he headed for the jug of water in his rig.

  “So, she’s not married, huh?”

  “No,” Jack replied tersely.

  Trey chuckled. “Oh, I like this, bro. You find out she’s not married, then you start acting all strange.

  Yep, I’d have to say you’re hooked.”

  “What do you mean, hooked?”

  “Okay, pop-quiz time. Do you think about her all the time?”

  Jack frowned. “Maybe.”

  “Maybe?”

  “Some.”

  “Some?”

  “All right, damn you, yes, I think about her all the time. So what?”

  “Do you make up excuses to go see her?”

  Jack just glared at him.

  Trey whooped. “I’ll take that as a yes. Does your heart pound when you’re around her?”

  Jack’s gaze narrowed.

  “Uh-huh. When you kiss her—you have kissed her, haven’t you? Never mind. You’ve kissed her. Does she make your knees go weak?”

  “Low blood sugar. That’s all it was.”

  “Low blood sugar, my aunt Fanny.”

  “You don’t have an aunt Fanny.”

  “You’re in love, big brother. And bite me on the nose if it’s not the real thing this time. You’ve got that same dopey look in your eyes that Ace has had ever since Belinda showed up.”

  Trey’s words startled any response right out of Jack. His heart began to beat triple time. Could it be true? Could he really be in love with Lisa?

  “No.”

  “No, what?” Trey demanded. “It’s not something you decide. It just happens.”

  “So says the world’s expert on love, right?”

  “Hey, I know it when I see it in other people. You knew it about Ace and Belinda before they did. Why can’t I know it about you?”

  “Forget it. I don’t have what it takes to love a woman the way Ace loves Belinda.”

  “What kind of bull is that? You just never met the right woman before, that’s all.”

  Jack opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Could it be that simple? Could he simply have been waiting all these years to find the one woman he trusted enough? The one woman who would truly, sincerely love him back?

  “Well, hell…” Trey said with trepidation.

  “What?”

  “I just realized you’ve been scratching your ear for about the last ten minutes.” Trey
looked out over the range toward headquarters five miles away as if trying to see whatever it was that was wrong that, inexplicable as it was, made Jack’s ear itch. “Was Stoney feeling all right this morning?”

  Jack barely heard him. Everything inside him shut down and filled with dread. “Lisa!”

  Jack whipped out his cell phone, but knew what he’d see on the screen as he did. The screen read No Service. They were in a hollow where the signal didn’t reach.

  For the first time in either of their lives, Jack and Trey left their tools and equipment lying on the ground. Trey barely made it into the rig before Jack hit the gas. Small rocks, grass, mud and slush from the melting snow flew from beneath the tires.

  Jack swore under his breath and tried to tell himself he was overreacting. It didn’t help. He didn’t care if she had merely stubbed her toe, but something was wrong. All he could think of was the baby. And the fact that it was too damned early. What if their love-making last night had harmed the baby? Jack would never forgive himself.

  The terrain simply would not permit him to drive fast enough to suit him until he cleared the pasture and made it to the road. Hell, they were all the damn way on the other damn side of the damn ranch. It would take forever to get home.

  “It was all an act,” Roger accused.

  “It wasn’t an act. I did have amnesia,” Lisa told him. “But the doctor was right—it cleared up on its own. I want you to leave now.”

  Roger saw his best chance slip through his fingers. If he could have gotten her home and safely married before her memory returned, he’d have had it made. Now it was too late for that, but he still refused to give up. There was more than just a partnership in the firm at stake, and she knew it, the bitch. His entire future was on the line.

  For months he’d played the fool for her, trying to convince her to marry him again. She had rebuffed him at every turn, yet he had persisted. He hadn’t known how he was going to change her mind, he’d only known that he must. So he’d started planning their wedding. He’d wanted her willing, even if pressured.

  Now he would take her any way he could, and civility be damned. Because if he didn’t get his hands on the extra quarter of a million dollars that came as a bonus with the partnership, he was a dead man. He was in too deep with the gambling syndicate. They weren’t the type of organization that would send him a polite past-due notice.