Doll Face (Baby Doll #3)

by Heidi Acosta

  “Friends can buy another friend lunch.”

  “Fine, but next time is on me.

  “Next time? Told you, you would fall in love.”

  “On another thought, it’s all on you.” We sit at a table by a window that looks out onto the street as the waitress rushes to the table and greets us with a quick hello.

  “Hey, Debbie. Can I get the bacon avocado cheeseburger with fries and a sweet tea?”

  “Anything for you, honey.” She winks at me before turning to Katie. “And for you?”

  “Can I get the grilled chicken salad, low-fat dressing on the side, and a water with lemon, please.”

  “So you are one of those girls,” I tease once Debbie disappears around the corner.

  “One of what girls?”

  “Order a salad when they are out and go home and stuff their face when no one is around.”

  “You think that you have me all figured out, don’t you? Actually, I would die first before I poisoned my body with the crap you are eating. Besides, my mother would kill me if I even thought about eating something without the word diet in it.”

  “You’re an adult now, why do you care what your mother thinks?”

  “Why are you still working for your dad?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Exactly.” This conversation is not going the way I want it to. I need to get her to lower defenses.

  “Katie, tell me about yourself.”

  “What do you want to know?” she asks cautiously, so I stick to the basic unthreatening topics.

  “Siblings, parents, and pets?”

  She hesitates, squeezing the lemon in her water before she answers. “Sister, mother, father, divorced, or will be I suppose shortly. No pets, my mother was allergic.”

  “To everything?”

  “To anything not designer.” She lets out a short laugh.

  “Come on, not even a goldfish? All kids need at least a fish to kill.”

  She blows out a breath. “Yeah well not me. I hate talking about me, what about you?”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Real siblings?”

  “Not any biological ones, but James, Playboy, and Dirt are my brothers.”

  “Hmmm. Remind me to ask about their nicknames later. Parents?”

  “Well, you know my dad, my mom left when I was sixteen, and I never saw her again.”

  “That’s so sad; I’m sorry.”

  “Nah, she lives in Florida. I see her about twice a year, not counting the holidays.”

  She tosses a piece of lettuce at me. “You are a jerk; you know that.”

  The conversation flows easily between us, and I even get her to loosen up enough that she laughs a few times. Her laugh is contagious; it soaks into me until every fiber of me craves the sound.

  I sit in my car that is now fixed, trying to catch my breath it feels like I have been holding it all day. I’m not sure if it’s remnants of the panic attack or that Adam just has that effect on me. Like I can’t catch my breath whenever I’m around him. I can’t believe I had a panic attack in front of him the way I did. I can’t believe he didn’t freak out and leave me on the side of the road. And I can’t believe that he brought me down off the cliff I was hanging from. I don’t know if I would be as heroic as he was if it was me in his position. He has that odd way about him, like he is waiting to be my knight in shining armor, just hiding and waiting until I need him. I don’t want to need him, but there is no denying it … I do, I need him in my life. Friends, he agreed to be just friends. I only hope I can keep those lines drawn in the sand. I have a feeling keeping them is going to be difficult with Adam.

  I jump at a knock on the window. Adam’s frame takes up the window, and I drag in a deep breath before rolling down the window.

  “Yes?”

  “I just thought that we could go out and celebrate our newfound friendship.”

  I begin to shake my head, no, but he is right. We are just friends and friends go out for drinks, this might just solidify those lines that are still blurry for Adam.

  “Pick me up at nine?”

  “Did you two do the straight people tango today?” Kiki sits down on my bed and starts to rifle through my makeup bag. “The what?” I ask, taking my new nude colored lip gloss out of his hand.

  “You know, did you do ‘it’?” He makes quotation marks with his hand.

  “Ewww, no, and don’t ask that.” I open the gloss, apply it generously, and hand it back over to him.

  “Look, I’m not trying to get involved in your love life, but—”

  “Yes, you are.”

  “Okay, so sue me. I’m living vicariously through you. Maybe you’re immune or blind, but that boy can wear a T-shirt like nobody’s business.”

  I roll my eyes at Kiki. I’m most definitely not blind or immune; I had to sit next to him and try to ignore just how good he looks in a tight, fitted T-shirt.

  “We’re just friends, nothing more.”

  “Katie, if I didn’t know better, I would say you are playing for the wrong team. How can you be within a ten-foot radius of that man and not rip off his clothes and beg him to take me … I mean you, right there? That is just crazy stuff. Maybe you are just not in to that,” Kiki says, applying a liberal amount of blush to his cheeks.

  “I’ am. Trust me, it’s just that I know exactly what Adam Nash is. He is a player, a womanizer, and unlike some people I have enough self-control to keep my clothes on. I want something more than a quick, cheap one-night-stand. I have a life plan.”

  “Don’t I know it, I have heard about your life plan since before I can remember, and I still think you might be on the wrong team.” I push him and get off the bed. “So you have the restraint of a nun.” A nun, yeah right. I might have enough restraint to not beg Adam Nash to go to bed with me, but it doesn’t mean I don’t think about it. Adam is a stunning piece of man candy I’m not blind.

  “So, my little nunnie friend, where is he taking you tonight?”

  “The Black Hole. Where else is there to go in this shitty little town?”

  “Careful, he might just take you somewhere else with lots of bondage and heavy breathing … and by the look of those panties, you might just be hoping for the same thing.”

  I look up at the mirror on the dresser. I have on a pair of sheer black lace panties and matching bra. Maybe Kiki is right, maybe I’m secretly hoping that Adam will see them. Why else would I be wearing them?

  “You know what, you are wrong. I didn’t even realize I had these on. To show you I have no intentions or thoughts of sleeping with Adam, I will change them.” I step out of my panties and toss them into the pile of clothes in the corner of the room, and replace them with a pair of my laundry day panties. They are oversized white panties with little bunnies on them.

  “Oh, girl, no you didn't.” Kiki shields his eyes. “You just reminded me of why I’m gay. You are all sorts of wrong wearing those hideous things.”

  I climb into Adam’s truck in my baggy grandma underwear, and just to make sure I keep all clothes on I changed my bra to a sports bra, one that flattens my boobs and makes it look like I have uni-boob. I actually feel liberated that I changed like I took back my wavering self-control.

  “You look great,” Adam says, smiling at me. Over my unsightly undergarments, I have on a pair of faded yoga pants, and an oversized sweatshirt that I borrowed from Phil. I wiped off all makeup and pulled my hair on top of my head in a messy bun. I look like I should be heading to the library for a study session not grabbing drinks with a friend.

  “Thanks,” I snort as I buckle. He can’t be serious; I saw what I looked like, he is just trying to get to me. Not tonight my granny panties are like a chastity belt. Adam turns up the music—some country song—and sings, as he turns onto the main road. As we drive each belt of the chorus, he leans a little closer singing to me. He smells good, too. I know what he is up to, and I refuse to fall for this play. Every other girl might fall for
it, but not me. I channel my mother, sealing my heart in ice, blocking anything from getting to it.

  As soon as we get to the bar I leap out of his truck, glad to be out of the confined space. Adam sidles up to me, wearing I smile like he is proud to be walking next to me. Damn it.

  “Remember, we are just friends.” I want to clarify this for him and remind myself as well.

  “I remember, but—”

  I spin on him. “There are no buts.” I wag my finger at him, so he knows I mean business. He grabs my hand, wrapping his strong fingers around my wrist.

  “How about we make another deal?”

  “Absolutely not,” I say, trying to ignore the tingling sensation from where his skin is touching mine.

  “But you haven’t even heard what I had to say.”

  I try to look anywhere else but that smile or his steel blue eyes. My heart flutters, catching in my throat. No, I will not do this. I focus on the dark lines of his tattoo that peek out of the sleeve. Oh God, it’s not helping.

  “Fine, what?” I ask, exasperated.

  “Let yourself have a good time with me, give yourself permission to relax. Don’t worry about friendship or the pressure that I’m not putting on you. Let yourself feel what you want to feel, even if it’s just for tonight.”

  I pull my bottom lip in and chew on the corner. Can I do that? Can I allow myself that freedom? I have never done that before, and the thought is both terrifying and exhilarating.

  “Adam …”

  “One night, then tomorrow you can go right back to those line of friendship you like so much.”

  “I don’t know.”

  Adam steps closer, placing my hand on his chest where I can feel the steady pulse of his heartbeat. “If it makes you feel better I promise I will not do anything that will ruin our friendship later on.” He smiles down at me, and I want to trust him, I really do, but if I give myself this freedom, I’m afraid there will be no going back.

  “One night.” I spread my fingers over his heart. He takes my hand and laces it with mine.

  “One night.” I agree.

  Adam guides me over to the bar, one hand on my back as if he is making a statement that I’m his even if it’s just for tonight. If I’m going to let my guard down, I need a drink…or two. As if he can read my mind he asks, “What are you having?”

  There is no way in hell I’m going to drink tequila ever again in my life. “Vodka and cranberry.”

  “Sounds good.” He orders two and we find a small table close enough to the dance floor that we can hear the music good, but far enough from the crowd that it’s almost intimate.

  After my drink warms me and my body hums, I start to feel more relaxed. I even laugh at Adam’s lame attempt at a joke. “Another drink?”

  “Please.” I smile. Adam orders us each a shot of whiskey and more drinks.

  “If I didn’t know better I would think that you, Adam Nash, are trying to get me to lose all ambition.”

  “Not all, just some.”

  “Hmmm.” I toss back the shot. “Why is it that you are attracted to me?” I ask, the liquor making me daring. It’s flirty, but I’m also curious for the answer.

  “What is there not to be attracted to? Everything about you makes me want you.”

  “But you hardly know me.” I lean in across the table.

  “I know enough that I like what I see. You are caring, you don’t take any shit, and you are the most determined person I think I have ever met.”

  “I have also made this a challenge, what happens after you conquer it?”

  “I have a feeling you will have many more challenges for me.” He smiles.

  I sit back my, stomach fluttering from the million butterflies inside of me.

  “You have a way with words. Maybe that is what I’m attracted to.”

  I close my eyes swaying slightly to the music.

  “You are attracted to me?”

  My eyes fly open, meeting his. There is a sparkle in them that I’m not sure if it’s from the conversation or the liquor. “Of course, I am. I mean, look at you, but I also know what you really are all about.”

  “And what is that?” he asks.

  “A player, a womanizer, should I go on?”

  “At times yeah I guess I was, but not with you, you change things.”

  Could he be right, could I be different to him? I want to believe him with everything I have.

  “Dance with me.” He reaches across the table, holding his hand out for me to take, but it’s offering me so much more, I only have to reach out and take it. I look up into his face, the sharp angles of his face, the scruff on his chin, and those eyes.

  “Can I trust you?”

  “With everything you have,” he says. Maybe it’s a lie or maybe it’s the truth, but tonight I want to believe it. I slip my hand in his; it enfolds mine, offering safety.

  On the dance floor we come together; the moment our bodies touch it’s an explosion. Warmth runs through me, mixing with a spark of electricity. We mold together perfectly as we move with the music. “I like this look on you.” His breath is warm against my cheek, it warms me through to my toes. I shiver and grip onto his shirt. Friends don’t dance with friends like this. “You look relaxed like you are not worrying about every problem the world has to offer. Like you can be in the moment.” In the moment like now with him. Oh God, I want to be in the moment. I want to kiss him, to know what he tastes like. I tilt my face toward him. His hand presses the small of my back to him, and with his other hand, he pulls the hair-tie out of my hair and runs his hand through it. I feel the barriers I have up crumble away.

  “It’s going to be fun being your friend,” he murmurs.

  Friends. That’s right, we are friends.

  I take a deep breath and let go of his arm. “I can use another drink.”

  “You read my mind, Doll Face.”

  As the night goes on Adam orders us more drinks. The alcohol scatters the rest of the lines that I drew in the sand until I’m not sure what I want anymore. I notice that all eyes are on Adam, why wouldn’t they be? Adam is the perfect male specimen in his dark jeans and a white shirt, which show off his amazing body. His brightly colored tattoos emphasize the well-sketched muscles of his arms. My cheeks heat, and I have to discard the sweater I’m wearing, as I take him in. The tank top I have on under does little to cool me off. Adam looks down at me. “One more dance?”

  Even though I shouldn’t, I slip my hand in his and let him lead me to the dance floor. We move together in perfect sync; I can’t tell if he is a good dancer or not. I just know that with each pulsating beat my body moves against his and his against mine. I let the music and liquor blur those lines completely. Here on the dance floor, there is no worry about messed up families, or friendships and denying feelings. There is only him and me; everyone else blurs together, and we are lost in our own world. Unforgivingly I let my hands explore him, running them across his broad shoulders and down his bare arms. The muscles tense and spasm under my touch, and I like that I have this effect on him. He leans down so that his lips brush against the bottom of my ear and to my neck, each warm breath is a caress, a secret kiss. His hands grip firmly on my hips, pulling me back and forth with the rhythm of the music. I close my eyes and let it take me over. Let him have control over me. Something breaks inside of me when I give over that control.

  Sometime between more drinks and dancing, Adam called us a cab. His hand stays laced with mine the whole ride; neither one of speaking, just feeling the pulsating beat of the night still running through us. It runs up and down my legs until it’s a steady throb nestled between my thighs. The cab pulls into the apartment complex, and Adam digs his wallet out with his free hand, the other firmly holding onto me.

  We watch the cab leave, and as soon as the taillights are no longer visible he turns to me. His steel-colored eyes have me catching my breath. I can see the lust sparkling in them, and it has me breathless. “Katie.” The way he says my na
me is like it’s the most delicious yet painful thing to ever grace his tongue. I close my eyes, not sure what to say, and gasp the moment. His hands grip my hips as he walks us backward until he has me pinned against the brick building. Then he leans down, finding that sweet spot at the base of my neck. Oh God, I’m not going to be able to resist him. I look up into the night sky just as it opens up, releasing the storm that has been brewing.

  The sky opens up and rain pours over us, but we make no attempt to move. My leg pushes against her, and she lets out small gasps of breath that is doing things to me. Her tits look amazing; the thin tank top she has on is soaked, and I can see her hard nipples through the tight material. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  I lean my head against her forehead, breathing hard, trying to brace myself and fight the urge to take her right here right now. From the sound of her breathing, I don’t think she would stop me. We are both drunk, and she clearly told me that she wants to be only friends. I resisted kissing her this far; I can do this. I told her she can trust me; I need her to trust me. If I want more than a one-night-stand, I have to show her I respect the boundaries she put up, even though I’m dying to rip those fuckers apart. Fuck. Say goodnight, Nash, and walk away. Be a good boy.

  I push off the wall, stepping back from her, and let the cool rain calm me. She stays pressed hard against the wall breathing heavy, her chest rising and falling. When I look into her eyes, they flicker with heat. I’m going to regret this later on, but…

  “I had a great time tonight.” I push some strands of wet hair off her face.

  She bites the corner of her bottom lip and whispers, “Me too.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  “What?”

  “Tomorrow, work.” This seems to sober her up and evaporate some of the heat that is bouncing between us.

  “Yeah, of course.” She lets out a nervous laugh and covers her chest with her arms. Thank God, that just made this a little easier.

  I start to walk backward. “Good night, Doll Face.” I turn away. I can feel her watching me as I walk away, and I have to fight the urge to not say fuck this and go back to her. As I walk, I count to forty and back trying to slow my heartbeat and every cell in my body that is electrified bouncing around me like a damn pinball machine. Once I’m out of her sight, I lean over, gripping my knees, and try to catch my own breath. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.