Honey Girl

by Lisa Freeman

  “The regular?” Darlene asked. Rox nodded. Thank you, Jesus, I thought. I get to eat. But before I could order, Darlene gave us six forks and said, “I’ll be right back with that sticky bun.”

  Claire swirled a spoon around in her coffee then tapped the side of the mug. There was no room for my elbows on the table. I sat up straight in the pew-like booth. Both my legs stuck to the bench planks. Claire asked, “Are we all agreed then?”

  The table fell silent. The Lisas leaned forward and nodded. Rox looked at each girl. One by one they answered, “Agreed.”

  “Agreed on what?” Jenni asked.

  I thought they were going to war with the Vals. There was no way. Tinkerbell would kick our butts.

  “Can I say one thing?” I asked, raising my hand.

  Everyone except Rox said yeah right away.

  “Going after her isn’t worth it.”

  The Lisas rolled their eyes.

  “You’re way too nice, Nani,” Lisa Y. said.

  “If Mary Jo had dosed me, I’d totally kill her.” Lisa H. added.

  Rox threw her hands up in the air and slammed her fork down on the table. Everyone went silent again. Rox lit another cigarette and spoke softly to the group.

  “Claire and I have some bad news.” She covered her mouth, trying to keep from being overheard. She motioned for everyone to lean in and tapped Claire to take over.

  “You might’ve noticed that I sent Suzie with Mary Jo.” Claire paused briefly and looked around to make sure all of us were listening.

  “Suzie was in on it, too,” she said.

  “No way,” Jenni blurted out.

  “Way,” Claire said. “Lord Ricky told me everything this morning. Mary Jo bought the acid from him, but it was Suzie who opened the front gate. It wasn’t an accident those Valleys got in.”

  Claire watched Rox rearrange the salt and pepper, then the cream and sugar into order by size. Before she could start cleaning the table, Claire gently put her hand over Rox’s and continued.

  “And this, everybody has to swear to never tell,” she whispered. “Rox got dosed, too. She hasn’t slept in over twenty-four hours, thanks to chugging Nani’s beer. She’s been on a cleaning binge.”

  Rox kept bouncing her leg up and down. She lifted her coffee cup and wiped the table beneath it clean. Then she wiped the windowsill behind her, flicking a dead fly to the next table. Everyone was watching but knew better than to say anything.

  “You know acid is like speed,” Lisa Y. said in her raspy voice.

  Jenni looked like she was going to cry and Claire started to fume. They used each other’s cigarettes to light up, waited until Darlene served the food, and then shook their heads in disbelief.

  Lisa H. said, “Then Suzie’s out, too.”

  No one said a word. Forks were suspended in mid-air and cigarettes dangled from fingers. Claire stepped up the conversation, “Suzie wanted to get back at Nani.”

  “Why?” I asked. I had been nothing but nice to Suzie.

  Rox looked at me like, “Hello,” then pointed to the medal around my neck.

  Claire knocked on my head as if it were wood.

  “Anyone in there?” she laughed.

  “Nigel?” I asked.

  “You aced him,” said Lisa H.

  “Totally,” Lisa Y. smiled.

  Jenni hiccupped loudly, looking out the window. “Um, can we get back to some facts?” she asked and hiccupped again.

  “No. It could’ve been any one of us who drank the wrong beer. Christ, Jenni, it could have been you,” Rox said.

  “Yeah, what if you ended up on a table, half-naked, doing the hula in front of every surfer on the west coast?” Lisa H. asked.

  Everyone agreed. Under the table, Rox put her hand on top of my knee and squeezed. I sat up and smiled, too.

  “At least Nani looked hot doing it,” Rox said. She flipped her hair back like a whip, put a dollar on the table, and strut out of Roy’s.

  “I’m sorry, Jen,” Claire said, sidestepping out of the booth. The lineup followed behind her, gingerly ushering Jenni out onto the street. “We can’t trust either of them now.”

  I stood up quickly. A whooshing sound in my ears made me sway back and forth. The cash register popped open and clanged as I snuck the last bite of sticky bun and hurried after the lineup.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  Killer

  I charged down the stairs with the lineup into the tunnel below PCH. Each girl glanced at the others, fully understanding what was going to happen next. They had done this walk so many times it was routine. But for me it was mind-boggling. Rox lit up.

  “It takes away the stink,” she said, handing me a smoke.

  “Cigarettes are great weapons,” Lisa Y. said. She jabbed her Virginia Slim at the air, fighting off imaginary demons.

  “Seriously,” Rox said, “always stay lit in the underpass.”

  How simple was that? She was just so smart. I looked at Rox, hoping to catch her eye, but it was too dark and we were hauling. As a group, we moved with a speed that made men fall to either side of the dim passageway. Their outlines smelled of cologne and tanning oils. But we girls were like windswept UFOs thrusting ourselves out the chute and into the light.

  Lord Ricky greeted us in his English accent.

  “Good morning, ladies,” he said, taking off his visor. “How are we feeling today?” he asked, looking directly at me.

  I guess my face showed how I felt, because Rox shook her head at me and frowned. I wanted to punch him, but I told myself not to go there and remembered the Fiji oath. But someday I’d get him back.

  The volleyball courts were crowded; two games were going on. The old guys were greased and soaking up the rays with reflectors under their chins. The rest of the beach was another story. I had never seen it so empty.

  “It’s the red tide,” Rox said.

  That’s what smelled so fishy.

  “Stinks, doesn’t it?” Rox asked.

  I swear she could read my mind like we were linked or something. She smiled and winked.

  “This is gonna work out just fine,” she said, taking Claire’s arm in hers.

  It didn’t bother me at all. Claire didn’t know where Fiji was, and I knew that Rox didn’t love her the same way she loved me. I was actually happy to be with both of them.

  The lineup moved silently as a shark, making sure its prey did not realize it was in danger until it was too late. Rox dropped herself between Mary Jo and Suzie’s towels. Although she startled them, they both seemed to enjoy the attention. It was Rox, after all.

  “Dare you to jump in.” Rox perked up and ran toward the water.

  Mary Jo and Suzie followed, laughing. No one refused a dare from Rox. The beach was empty. No waves, no guys. They knew it was safe to goof around, so they did. Mary Jo and Suzie plowed into the water, hit the ditch, and fell face first into the brown water. Rox, on the other hand, stopped at the shoreline. She did this without either one of them knowing until they came up for air. They booed her, but she just raised her hands into a super-sexy gesture like she was saying “Oh well,” and then walked back to her towel.

  There’s no way to explain the beauty of revenge. Except to say what happened next was worth every speck of Blue Cheer I drank. Neither girl saw what was coming until they returned to the lineup and saw that the Lisas had put their towels about ten feet back from ours.

  “Why’d you move our towels?” Suzie asked.

  Clearly they were no longer in the lineup.

  “What did we do?” Mary Jo whined.

  Suzie wasn’t going to give in as easily. The towel rearrangement was more than a minor setback for her and she knew it. It was the end.

  “You’re choosing her over us?” Suzie yelled, pointing at me.

  There were no guys around, so everything could hit the fan, and nobody would know. It was girl power to the max. But Rox wanted them shut out without a scene. She lay down on her towel and flipped over to her stomach,
ignoring Suzie altogether. Claire, on the other hand, stayed on her feet and put her arm around Mary Jo tenderly.

  “You’ve got to be kidding,” Mary Jo said. She was trying to look tough, but her fingers were shaking, and she spit when she spoke. Claire handed Mary Jo the cup of hot coffee and took the lid off.

  “I put some cream and sugar in it, just the way you wanted it.”

  Jenni handed Suzie her cup of coffee and took the lid off as well. She waited for Suzie to drink it, but she just stood there, staring at it.

  “Taste it,” Jenni said. “Don’t you trust me?” Her voice sounded flat and gritty and her tone was hard-core.

  “Really. I’m your best friend. Drink it.” But when Jenni said “drink it” this time, Suzie stepped away.

  I stood shoulder to shoulder with Claire, waiting for Suzie to do something.

  “Drink it,” Rox repeated without lifting her head.

  But Suzie didn’t move. She just held the Styrofoam cup in her hand and stared at us.

  “It could’ve been me,” Jenni hiccupped.

  “No, it couldn’t have been.” Suzie ripped into Jenni. “What do you think I am, stupid?”

  “Yeah, I do. I think you’re stupid.” And with that, Jenni turned around, lay down on her towel, and closed her eyes.

  Suzie threw the cup on the sand. Hot coffee splashed all over Rox and Jenni.

  “You bitch,” Rox snapped. Her voice carried all the way to the volleyball courts, and a few old guys turned our way.

  Suzie looked at the ocean then frantically looked back at Rox yelling, “Watch out, there’s a bee!”

  Rox threw herself under her towel, sand flew everywhere, and Suzie walked away.

  Mary Jo rushed to Rox’s side, holding her cup of coffee. She knelt next to her, brushing off the sand.

  “I’ll drink mine,” she said. But before she could, Rox slapped it out of her hands.

  “You’ll never get Nani’s spot, ever.”

  Rox signaled for all of us to lie down and we did. I closed my eyes as she initiated the silent treatment. Mary Jo paced around us, but stopped directly in front of me, blocking the sun. She stood there for a long time, waiting to see if I’d open my eyes. I told myself: stay tough, cream puff. Finally she walked away. I felt bad but relieved and determined to never back down in front of the lineup. I knew this would secure my spot forever.

  When I woke up, KC was looking at me eye to eye. We were shoulder to shoulder on our bellies. I pulled my head back slowly to focus. She smelled like a mixture of Old Spice cologne and Irish Spring soap, like a squeaky-clean guy, not some girl with long eyelashes, perfect skin, and bowed lips. There was not a hint of emotion on her face. She was all tough and cool, as usual.

  “Did you have a nice sleep?” Her voice was so soft it was hard to hear. I nodded. We were alone. The rest of the lineup must have gone up for a pee. It was difficult to lift my head. Every part of my body hurt. I did my best to look around casually, like no big deal.

  “Don’t worry, they’ll be back,” she said, turning onto her side. Her thumb was tucked under her bikini. She rested her head in her other hand, crossed her long legs, and touched my foot with her foot like we were best friends or something.

  She asked, “Do you like Fiji?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said. I felt hungover but not so out of it that I would tell her about Rox. Anyway, how did she know about Fiji?

  “So you like it,” she smiled, and flicked sand in my face.

  I sat up with supersonic speed and rubbed my eyes. “What’s your problem?”

  KC sat up, too. She adjusted her mustard bikini bottom to match her tan lines, then fluffed her shag.

  “What are you up to, KC?” Rox asked as she plunked onto her towel and handed me an icy Tab.

  “Fiji,” was all KC had to say.

  “Shut up,” Rox commanded.

  “Your new chick isn’t talking, but I know,” KC said.

  “We’re out of here.” Rox motioned me to follow.

  I should’ve kicked sand in KC’s face for payback, but when I got up, the world started spinning. I heard KC say, “That Killer’s gonna mess you up good, just like she did me. She’s gonna dump you for Jerry, and you’ll never go to Fiji again.”

  But Rox had told me she was done with Jerry. KC didn’t know anything.

  “You’re whacked,” I told her and walked away.

  KC grabbed my ankle. Her grip was strong. It startled me.

  “The only person she cares about is Jerry. You are totally screwed.”

  “Come on, Nani,” Rox yelled from halfway up the beach.

  “You must be high,” I told KC and pulled away so fast I almost tripped and fell face first. I stormed up the beach, trying to catch up with Rox. When I did, she put her arm inside mine and we walked hip to hip onto the volleyball courts. The lineup was waiting. I knew I was different. Whatever happened to that loser KC would never happen to me.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  Ladies of Leisure

  The next morning, I sat at the kitchen table, ready to go to State with Annie’s rabbit foot tethered to my belt loop, a thick joint for Lord Ricky, and a purse full of Dad. My horoscope said it was a good day to have a new experience. Finally, I could walk onto the hottest beach in California as a local. I put on a matching bathing suit for the first time. Annie Iopa wore it every year to the Duke Kahanamoku Surfing Championship. The bikini was made of tiny puka shells and jute embroidery. The straps were braided black leather and the fabric was shades of green that matched my eyes. Best of all, it was the smallest bathing suit in the world. Even in Brazil, it would have been considered daring. It felt rough and uncomfortable but it was worth it. State had never seen a suit like this before, and even though I hated Annie, I wasn’t about to throw away a fashion statement like this.

  Annie had told me to wear it once I made local girl status. Even though she was off my list, I knew once upon a time she would have mailed me a medal or something. After all, I was a ruler in training, second in line to Rox and a full-on dominator. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could stop me from fulfilling my destiny now.

  Jean sat opposite me, her forehead resting in her hand. In her other hand she was holding an empty bottle of beer. There were thin slices of cantaloupe on a plate in front of her. The LA Times was on her lap and the kitchen still smelled like fish.

  “Eagleton withdrew his candidacy for vice president,” she said.

  As if I gave a flying you-know-what about George McGovern or his mental sidekick. All I wanted was a smooth sendoff for Dad. I made a little small talk. I knew that was the key to getting out of there as quickly as possible.

  “So, Nixon is totally in again?” I asked.

  Jean nodded and gave me an unconvincing smile as she pulled an official-looking envelope from her muumuu pocket. There were two things in it, and she took them out and set them on the table for me to see. One was a deed of sale and the other was a check signed by Michael Kei and made out to her for twenty thousand dollars. Then she went back to the morning news as if they weren’t there.

  “They say Nixon’s staff might be connected to Watergate. I’d like to see them prove that,” she said.

  I grabbed the check and waved it in her puffy old face. “Wasn’t this supposed to be a hundred thousand?” I asked.

  “Taxes, Mike said.”

  That was such BS and Jean knew it. She got screwed.

  “Can we live on this forever?” I asked. “Can we still be ladies of leisure? That’s what you said we’d be.”

  Jean didn’t answer. Her eyes were swollen, and there were little beads of sweat on her upper lip. She squinted at me and shook her head no. I knew for sure we would never go home again, not even for a trip to the Kahala Hilton. At that moment, it was as if Hawaii vanished off the face of the Earth.

  You know how it is when you want to cry but don’t? Your lower lip sort of quivers and your eyes water up but don’t leak? You have t
o think of something else super-fast or else it’s waterworks a go-go. I imagined a VACANT sign flashing over Jean’s head in big red neon letters like an abandoned building on Hotel Street. Just to remind myself once and for all no one was home. There was no Mom. I had to get that through my thick skull. Expecting anything from Jean was stupid and I have never been a stupid person. Supernova Virgos like me don’t get thrown. I was never going to be like Jean. Besides, I had someplace to be. I had friends now and Rox. I was never going to be alone like Eleanor Rigby. Jean could go sleep off her morning buzz next to a box full of sand.

  “I never should have trusted a Hawaiian,” she said, taking the curlers out of her hair and putting the check back in her pocket. “Hawaiians only do right by Hawaiians. I’m just the haole widow.”

  Then she looked directly at me, squeezing the little cross around her neck.

  “No more Hawaiians for us. We’re done with those people.”

  I read once if you hold your breath and count to ten slowly, it stops the anger. Since I was about to rip 33 Sage apart, I gave it a try and sucked in hard. I held down the air, trying to reason with myself. Dad was gone. Really gone. And everything he loved was gone, too. I let out the air.

  I stood up, carefully putting my purse over my shoulder and taking one of Jean’s cigarettes out of the Benson & Hedges box on the table. She peered up and watched me with a puzzled look. I tapped the cigarette a couple times in my palm then pulled some matches out of my purse and lit up right in her face. Her brand tasted like dirt, but to show off my smoking skills I cracked a couple perfect rings right into her cantaloupe. Jean seemed not to notice. She put her cigarette out in her beer.

  “They say smoking causes cancer in rats,” she said.

  “Good thing I’m not a rat,” I said, pushing the screen open with my foot and letting it slam behind me. Going down the front path, I stomped on Jean’s soft-leafed succulents, smashing them with my heels and watching their innards squish out. I dropped my cigarette on the sidewalk and watched it burn while I tied up my shirt and rolled down my shorts. I brushed my hair hard fifty times. Five-O, I laughed to myself.