by Kit Tunstall
Chapter Six
Two days later, the supply truck that had gone out that morning, along with six members of the camp to search for supplies, came tearing back into the camp that afternoon. It created a ruckus, and I rushed from the garden to see what was happening. The truck stopped almost directly in front of the infirmary, which I assumed was a bad sign. I knew Ben had been part of the detail, and my heart stopped beating in my chest for a moment as I waited for him to emerge from the truck.
When he did so, it was like the world went completely black for a moment before all the colors rushed back with more intensity than ever. I swayed, pressing a hand in my mouth to keep from crying out when I saw the blood soaking the front of his shirt. Before I could think better of it, I ran forward and almost threw myself into his arms. “What happened? Are you all right?” The words were more mumbled against his chest than spoken where he could clearly hear them, but either he had good hearing, or he just guessed what I was asking.
“I was shot, along with Clint and Trenton. I’m okay though. Or I will be once Grace patches me up. The bullet went through my shoulder.”
It was a struggle to remember to ask about Clint and Trenton, because I was too worried about Ben to really think about anyone else. Somehow, I managed to force out the words I needed to say though. “And the other two?”
“I think they’ll both recover.”
Getting some common sense, I pulled away from him enough to lead him to the infirmary tent, where we settled in a corner, due to a lack of space and his wound being least serious. My arm remained around him, and I wasn’t certain if it was because I wanted to make sure he didn’t fall, or I just needed the comfort of having his arm around me and mine around him. It might’ve been a simple wound, but it could have just as easily been something far more severe that had taken Ben from me in the blink of an eye.
I’d barely had him, and the idea of already losing him made it difficult to breathe for a moment. A pang in my chest seemed to emanate outward, making it difficult to draw in another deep breath. I could sense I was on the verge of hyperventilating, but I couldn’t seem to stop the shallow, rapid breathing overtaking me. I couldn’t seem to catch my breath, my head was spinning, and my chest was tight. Before I realized what was happening, I had lost consciousness.
I woke a few minutes later, still in the corner of the tent with Ben, who was holding me propped against his uninjured shoulder. “What happened?” I asked, trying to draw in a deep breath. My chest still felt sore, as though someone had stepped on it, but it was easier to breathe now.
“I think it was a panic attack,” said Ben. “Grace will need to check you out to be sure, but I think that’s what it was.”
I groaned. “Seriously? You’re the one who’s shot, and I passed out?” How pathetic.
He appeared unconcerned. “You can’t really help what triggers a panic attack. My little brother used to get them, often seemingly for no reason. It’s kind of flattering actually that my injuries sent you into a panic attack.”
I rolled my eyes, but I was having a difficult time not smiling along with his ego-driven smirk. “How did you get shot?”
“We were in a sporting goods store in Bozeman and ran across another group. They seemed to think it was their territory, and they didn’t give us a chance to withdraw gracefully. One of their people, a nervous-looking kid, fired first. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure he meant to, or if he just got flustered. Unfortunately, we started firing back, and it escalated.”
I licked my lips nervously myself. “It’s scary how different the world is these days. Did you have to kill anyone?”
He lifted his uninjured shoulder. “I’m not really sure. It was all kind of a blur as we moved to the exit. I didn’t even realize I’d been shot until we were a few miles away from the sporting goods store, and I looked down and saw the blood oozing down my arm. Before then, I’d been too focused on Clint and Trenton to realize I was injured too.”
I laid my head on his shoulder. “Do you have to go out there for runs? Don’t we have everything we need here at Camp Utopia? The crops are coming along nicely, and I saw the stores in the kitchen area. We should have enough to tide us over this season.”
He let out a small sigh. “I wish we could just stay here and not go out there, but there are still things of use out there that we need. Medicine, weapons, tools, and all the sundry items that we want to acquire before they’re gone. Once everything’s depleted, there will be nobody around making new ones.”
I cocked my head. “Like what? What’s worth going out there and endangering yourselves?” I was frustrated by the idea, both by the need to do so, and by my inability to help. I couldn’t leave the camp safely, or I might run across people from Fort Glacier.
He didn’t even have to think about it before he answered. “Prenatal vitamins for Maisie, diabetic testing supplies for Joel, condoms for us…” He smiled slightly. “Those things are still out there, and if we want them, we have to go get them before they’re gone.”
I couldn’t offer a counterargument. Of the things he’d listed, only the condoms weren’t a necessity, but they certainly enhanced our life. I was sure there were other people in camp who felt the same way. It wasn’t like he was just going out on runs for prophylactics. The other things he’d listed, probably just a couple from a long list of things they kept their eyes open for, were definitely important enough to be worth leaving the camp.
I just wished it didn’t have to be Ben who went. He was the leader, so shouldn’t he be exempt? From what I knew of him already, that wasn’t his style though. He never would have assigned the task to someone else just so he could get out of it, and he wouldn’t ask others to do something he wasn’t willing to do too. I cursed that noble streak inside him for a moment, but eventually I just let it go with a long sigh. “Do your best to steer clear of those people then, and take care of yourself out there. I just found you, and I don’t want to lose you.”
His good arm tightened around me, and his lips brushed against my forehead. “I don’t want to lose you either. We just have to hold tightly to what we have.”
Finally, Grace was done with Trenton and Clint, and she turned her attention to Ben. Reluctantly, I pulled away from his embrace and got to my feet, half-expecting her to tell me to leave when she started working on his wound. She didn’t, and perhaps it was because I stayed quiet and out-of-the-way, mostly averting my eyes as she packed the wound when she cleaned it.
I couldn’t look back when I saw her pull out the stitching supplies, not until I also heard equipment clatter in the metal bowl and figured it was safe to turn my head. Enough time had passed for her to be finished with stitches. I was right and looked back in time to see her applying a thick bandage to his arm before stepping away. She peeled off her rubber gloves and tossed them in the same metal basin as whatever instrument she had dropped in there a few moments before. “You need to give it a couple of days of light duty, and if it starts to hurt in a different way, or you see any signs of infection, come to me right away. Otherwise, we’ll just need to change the dressing twice a day to start with. Try to avoid bullets next time, Ben.”
I was startled when Ben got off the table, swaying for just a moment before gaining stability. “Aren’t you keeping him?”
Grace shook her head. “Where should I do that? As it is, Trenton’s in my bed for the next couple of days. There just isn’t enough space to keep the patients under constant observation unless it’s truly life-threatening. I don’t expect Ben will have any complications since the bullet went straight through. Clint’s coming in to be checked every few hours, and I’m keeping Trenton under direct supervision until I’m absolutely sure he’s out of the woods. I’m doing the best I can here.”
“You’re doing a great job,” said Ben before I could reply. “Thanks for patching me up, Doc.”
She grinned at him. “Technically, I’m only a physician’s assistant.”
“Consider it a field
promotion.”
Grace’s dark eyes sparkled. “I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way in medicine, but thanks.”
Their lighthearted banter annoyed me, but not because I was jealous or felt excluded. I just didn’t think they were taking Ben’s wound seriously enough. I managed not to pout about it or show too much displeasure though. I had no medical training, and perhaps he would have been less diligently monitored than either Clint or Trenton before the HLV virus had taken the old infrastructure. There was a strong possibility I was letting my emotions influence my reaction. In an attempt to rein it in, I put a hand on his arm, speaking more gruffly than I intended, but at least not sounding too angry when I said, “I’ll help you back to your tent then.”
I slipped an arm around his waist, and he leaned against me, probably more heavily than he would have under other circumstances. Carefully, we shuffled from the medical tent back to his, moving one slow step at a time. I was probably babying him too much, and I could tell he was a little irritated with how slowly we moved, but I couldn’t seem to get my feet to speed up even if I’d wanted to.
I could tell he was hurt a little more than he wanted to admit when he let me put him on the mattress and didn’t complain or insist that he needed to get up and take care of some other duty. I tucked him in, somewhere between maternal and still angry at his blasé attitude.
“Lie down with me.”
I shook my head. “It’s too early in the day for me.”
He smiled. “You don’t have to sleep. You could just lie here and hold me for a little while. I’ve had a rough day.”
I rolled my eyes as he laid it on thick, but slipped off my shoes to lie beside him, carefully cuddling closer and putting an arm around his waist. I really wasn’t tired, or I didn’t think I was, but somehow I managed to fall asleep shortly after he did.
Maybe it was just being so close to him, and having the reassuring warmth of his body pressed against mine after realizing earlier in the day just how close I’d come to losing him. This wound hadn’t been terribly serious, but it could have been. It could have been fatal, and I never would have had a chance to tell him what he meant to me. I wouldn’t call it love, at least not yet, but there was definitely something more between us than just sex. I cared for him more deeply than I had just about anyone in my life besides my deceased family. He was certainly far more important to me than Carlos had ever been. I would have told him that if I hadn’t fallen asleep alongside him. Perhaps he already knew, and if so, I was pretty sure he felt the same way.
Chapter Seven
I woke abruptly in the middle of the night, at first thinking it must be because I’d fallen asleep in the early evening when I hadn’t expected to. It was only when I realized Ben was stirring beside me, clearly about to get up, that I realized he had awoken me. “Do you need help?” I assumed he was visiting the latrines.
“I can support him,” said a voice from the corner.
I let out a little bleat of surprise when I realized we weren’t alone, automatically clutching the blankets to my chest though I was still wearing the jeans and shirt I’d fallen asleep in earlier. I squinted for a moment into the slightly darkened corner, trying to identify the man who’d spoken, but I didn’t know him. I hadn’t crossed paths with him yet, I guess. “What’s going on?”
“We’ve had a new arrival here at the camp, and we just want to check out everything. It’s standard operating procedure. I’ll be back before you know I’m gone,” said Ben. He looked over at the other man, nodding. “I’m ready.” With those words, Ben rolled out of bed, seeming to be in top form. If it hadn’t been for the bulky bandage on his shoulder, clearly revealed by the tight white T-shirt he wore, he would have appeared uninjured. He wasn’t even pale from blood loss.
I still didn’t want to let him out of my sight, despite my lack of medical training. Since they were just going to be in the camp, I slid out of bed and put on my shoes before following behind them. Neither one told me not to come, so I fell into line, maintaining their pace, but a step behind.
“What we know about this guy, Jerry?”
The one I now identified as Jerry said, “Not much. He just stumbled into camp a little while ago. He looks tired and perhaps undernourished, but I think he’s in relatively good health. He’s young and should be a good addition to the camp if you decide to let him stay.”
“I guess it depends on him then.”
We traversed the length of the camp to the main entrance, and the floodlight position there clearly revealed the newcomer before we reached him. I caught my breath, embarrassed and a little alarmed by how attractive I found him. He had silvery blonde hair, along with deep green eyes that warmed slightly when they met mine. I blinked, realizing I didn’t have in my contacts, so he was seeing the real brown color. His gaze lit up with appreciation, and it was obvious he found me attractive too.
Feeling the need for reassurance and to connect with Ben, I moved closer to his side and took his hand, trying to look at the newcomer without actually meeting his gaze.
Ben stopped just a few feet away from him. “Who are you?”
“I’m Joshua Norris.”
Ben arched a brow at the succinct answer. “What are you doing here, Joshua?”
The blond man shrugged. “I’ve been on my own for a long time, so when I saw signs of life, I decided to take the chance and stop. I didn’t know if you’d be friendly or averse to me being here, but I’ve missed seeing people.”
Ben evaluated him for a moment, apparently going with his gut, because he didn’t probe further. “Jerry will assign you a bunk for tonight in the men’s tent, and we can talk more tomorrow. Welcome to Camp Utopia.”
Joshua looked at me, his expression difficult to read, though hunger was definitely obvious in his gaze. “I’m happy to be here. Thank you for taking me in.”
I held my breath, hoping Ben would tell him something like it wasn’t permanent, or he was there on probation, but my boyfriend just nodded at him before putting an arm around my waist and turning toward the tent we shared. I couldn’t resist looking back just once as we moved away, somehow unsurprised to find Joshua’s gaze following me the entire way.
When our eyes met, he flashed me a slow, sensual smile, and my lips tried to curve in response. I stifled the impulse and looked away, straight ahead instead, to avoid the temptation of looking at him just once more. I wasn’t supposed to be feeling this way for someone else now that I was with Ben. It seemed only right that I’d stop finding other people attractive, but that didn’t seem to be the case.
I just had to make sure it stayed purely emotional and didn’t cross the boundaries into anything inappropriate, like physical contact. That wouldn’t be fair to Ben, and I cared too much about him to risk hurting him.
I avoided interacting with the newcomer for two days, battling the attraction he inspired. I focused all my attention on Ben, but I was still aware of Joshua. I figured if I steered clear of him, the attraction would fade, and that would be the end of it.
We hadn’t even spoken to each other, and I was certain he was trouble. Maybe not himself, and probably not in a malicious way, but he could be a source of problems for the new life I was building here at Camp Utopia with Ben.
I barely smothered a groan when I reported for laundry duty to find him there instead of Maisie. I frowned at him, unreasonably angry at the sight of his face. “What the hell are you doing here?”
His expression showed his shock, and rightfully so. “I’m filling in for Maisie,” he said in a mild tone, in no way responding to my over-the-top aggression.
It took an effort to calm down, along with several deep breaths, but my voice emerged more politely and appropriately pitched when I spoke again. “Where is Maisie?”
“Your man said she’d had some contractions and was on bed rest for now when he asked me to fill in for her a little while ago.”
A dart of concern shot through me, and I made a mental note to stop by t
he infirmary, or perhaps her bunk—wherever I’d find her as she settled in for bed rest—to check on her. In the meantime, I was stuck with the newcomer, and I tried to counsel myself to ignore the inappropriate spark I felt whenever his gaze rested on me, or our eyes met.
I threw myself into laundry duty with vigor, speeding through the process, at least as much as I could. The time the machines spent washing still impeded my ability to make a hasty retreat. I was forced to wait with nothing to do for long stretches, and it was during those awkward moments I was once again reminded Joshua was there and far too attractive for my mental well-being.
“How did you make it here?” he asked me.
“I stumbled across the place after being on my own for a while.” I certainly wasn’t giving further details to him. He might hear the truth from someone at the camp, since everyone knew my background after the meeting we’d held, but I wasn’t eager to enlighten him. I tried turning the conversation from me. “Where have you been since the virus broke out?”
“I’ve been taking care of my sister, but things changed recently. I had to find somewhere new.” He spoke abruptly, as terse with his answers as I’d been.
That was only fair, but I couldn’t help feeling slighted that he hadn’t given me more details. I didn’t ask about his sister, since it was obvious she was no longer with him. I didn’t know him at all yet, but I doubted he would have left her behind, so he must have recently lost her. I knew how that felt, and without thinking, I reached out to put a hand on his forearm. “I’m sorry about your sister.”
His eyes widened, and his breathing turned ragged, matching my own. It was intense how quickly the heat spiraled through me just from a simple touch of my hand against his arm.
“Thanks,” he said with a gruff edge. “We’d do anything for family, wouldn’t we?”
I nodded. “I lost all of mine from the virus. If they were still around though, I would have done anything to protect them, and whatever happened, I’m sure you did your best. Things are different now, and we can’t always fight external forces.”