The English School of Murder

by Ruth Dudley Edwards

  ‘I’m sure you handle it magnificently, my dear.’

  ‘Rich, I know this isn’t the best time for you, but I want to talk about my future.’

  ‘Can’t it wait? I’m very shaky at the moment.’

  ‘Yes, I know. It’s just that I want to get in before Gavs does. I don’t want to lose out by holding off.’

  ‘I’m not with you, Cath. Hold off on what?’

  ‘Buying into the business. You remember when the profit-sharing started we asked about the possibilities of becoming partners and you said no, because you were a two-man show.’

  ‘And it’s not a two-man show any longer, you mean,’ said Rich slowly.

  ‘That’s right, Rich. I’m really sorry, but I had to get my bid in. Just because Gavs has been here longer doesn’t mean it should be him rather than me.’

  ‘Very well. You’ve made your bid. I’ll think about it.’

  ‘Do.’

  ‘It would cost a lot to buy your way in.’

  ‘I’d get it somehow. My parents would help.’

  ‘All right, Cath. Leave it for now. We’ll talk again soon.’

  ***

  ‘I’m relieved to get you. I kept trying until after midnight and then assumed the contessa had kidnapped you.’

  ‘Sweet Jesus, I’ve never been through anything like it. I could have her up for sexual harassment. If this is what women have to go through with randy chaps, they have my deepest sympathy. She kept feeling me up on the dance floor. I can’t imagine what we looked like, with her advancing, me retreating, while all the time I kept a bright smile as if I didn’t know what was going on. Then she got going on bribes. Things were said about presents, yachts, holidays in the West Indies. Then came threats. What she’d have to tell Reech if I wasn’t nice to her. Christ, I never came so close to smacking a woman round the chops.’

  ‘Well, well. Just the two of you?’

  ‘No. I told Galina my job required me to ask the rest of the group. I was terrified, because they were all supposed to be going to the theatre with Gavs. But Ahmed decided he preferred dancing and he brought Jenn. Things have come to a pretty pass when I’m grateful for the company of those two.’

  ‘Did you escape without a fight?’

  ‘Sort of. Produced an up-market version of the line I used on Jenn. Told her my fiancée was so jealous she was having me watched by private detectives.’

  ‘Rich girl, is she?’

  ‘Loaded. Galina therefore quite understands why I can’t take the risk of losing her.’

  ‘How could she seriously believe such garbage?’

  ‘Her self-esteem requires it. She’s just like Jenn. Can’t imagine anyone wouldn’t be mad keen to go to bed with her. They really think “No” means “Yes”. So she has to believe any half-way reasonable excuse. I’m hoping she’ll give up now. God knows whom she’ll go after. Are you interested?’

  ‘No, but I’ll ask Romford if he’d like to help out.’

  Chapter 19

  ‘The Super’s in. Dunno what’s going on. He wasn’t supposed to be back for several weeks, was he?’ Pooley found Pardeep’s gorgeous eyes so distracting that he almost missed the astonishing news she bore.

  ‘No, he wasn’t. Maybe there’s a crisis.’

  ‘Don’t think they get called back from Bramshill unless there’s a world war. See you.’

  Pooley sat at his desk longing to be sufficiently senior to be able to stroll into Milton’s room and casually enquire what had happened.

  ‘Ellis.’ It was Milton. ‘Will you come in for a moment?’

  Pooley’s heart leaped.

  ‘Coming, sir.’

  ‘Inspector Romford not in yet?’

  ‘No, sir.’

  ‘Well, perhaps you can help me. Do you know of anything going on on your patch that you think I might be gainfully employed on for a couple of days? No one else has anything that fits the bill.’

  ‘Sorry, sir?’ Milton tended to be a bit unorthodox, but this approach really floored Pooley.

  ‘Oh, sorry, Ellis. Bramshill’s had an outbreak of salmonella, so the course is suspended until Monday. I was one of the lucky ones; I refused the Scotch eggs. So I’m really extra to strength here and am looking for a specific job to do.’

  Pooley looked over his shoulder. ‘We badly need you at the Knightsbridge School of English, sir.’

  ‘Is Robert all right?’ Milton sounded so seriously alarmed that Pooley had one of his occasional stabs of envy about their friendship.

  ‘Oh, he’s fine, but Ned Nurse is dead and was probably murdered.’

  Romford came crashing in, wreathed in profuse apologies about late trains. ‘Don’t worry, don’t worry. Sit down and bring me up to date. Thanks, Ellis.’ He gave Pooley a distant nod of dismissal. Pooley trailed out dejectedly, anathematising whoever had finally got Romford to his destination. Had the Super got the message? If he had, how could he squeeze out Romford? Moodily, he got down to typing out statements from his own shorthand.

  He had been at the job for only ten minutes when he was called into Milton’s office again. ‘Ellis, Inspector Romford suggests I might take over from him on this English school business. He has a great deal to clear up before leaving us, so I think the least I can do is give him time to do it. You’ll be able to brief me, won’t you? I don’t want to waste any of the inspector’s time.’ Pooley nodded: he felt unable to speak.

  Romford was silently extolling the power of prayer. What else could have sent the Super out of the blue to release him from another day with these awful people? He congratulated himself on the skill with which he had manipulated him into taking it on.

  ***

  ‘I feel as if I’m having a half holiday from school,’ remarked Milton. ‘Of course I’m terribly sorry for my stricken colleagues, but it’s an ill wind…’

  ‘It certainly is, sir,’ said Pooley fervently.

  They were taking a detour through St James’s Park. ‘Now, Ellis, I’ve told the school that we won’t be along for about an hour, so just to increase my holiday feeling, we’ll have a cup of coffee somewhere near by and you can tell me the full story. It goes without saying that you must omit no detail, however slight.’

  ‘Are you sure you mean that, sir?’

  ‘Oh, certainly, Ellis. If you mean should you leave out any of the absurdities, please don’t. I’m sure with Robert involved there must be some.’

  Pooley collected his thoughts and, over coffee, he managed to produce a coherent narrative. He was much encouraged by Milton’s reaction, which seemed to his besotted protégé to be a model mixture of quick understanding, intelligent questioning and well-placed laughter. ‘I can’t wait to meet Robert’s students. Can you, Ellis?’

  ‘We’d better not leave each other alone with the contessa, sir.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t know. I’m in the mood to live dangerously.’

  Milton checked himself as he realised Pooley was looking disconcerted. ‘Sorry, Ellis, but for some weeks I’ve been immersed in policy and strategy. I’m aching to deal with something practical, immediate and with a bit of fun in it. It can get very dull being a senior policeman. This is a wonderful break.’

  He called for the bill. ‘Now, let’s get this business sorted out. Here’s how we proceed. When we get to the school, you get from Jenn the names and addresses of all the students who attended the party. Ring the local station and ask for a PC. I’ll talk to Interpol and tell them to see if any of them have a form. Then you give the list to the PC to fax across to them.’ He paid the bill and they left the café.

  ‘Then I sort out Central. They can’t just abandon all responsibility for this. I want someone to come up fast with that information you asked your friend Layton for unofficially. It’s high time we talked to someone outside the school about Arm-strong. With a bit of luck they’ll put DC Layton on to the job.’

  They walked along Piccadilly towards Green Park. ‘Then I want a plan of the room, with furniture location ma
rked: a visual aid should improve communication. We’ll process the information you got yesterday with a view to eliminating as many of the possibles as we can. When we’ve got a shortlist we can get Interpol to make more thorough checks.’

  They went downstairs to the ticket hall. ‘Have you a travel card, Ellis?’

  ‘Yes, sir.’

  Milton scrabbled among his change and found the right coins. ‘And when all that’s sorted out,’ he said as he took his ticket, ‘we’ll settle down to whatever interviews need to be done.’

  They travelled down the escalator to the sound of ‘These Foolish Things’ played on a saxophone. Milton threw some coins into the wide-brimmed hat that lay at the feet of the dreadlocked musician. ‘Lunatic, the laws against buskers. They’re the only cheerful thing about the underground.’

  They caught a train immediately and got off at Knightsbridge. When they reached street level and began the walk to the school Milton said, ‘OK, Ellis. What have I forgotten?’

  There was silence. He looked at Pooley. ‘You’ve been knitting your brows for the past five minutes. What is it?’

  ‘I don’t know how to say this, sir. I don’t wish to appear critical of Inspector Romford.’

  ‘Quite right too, Ellis. You don’t want to be the school sneak. It does you credit. But this isn’t school. If there’s something important, spit it out.’

  ‘He mentioned to Rich Rogers that we knew Robert. “Had dealings with him a few months back” were his exact words.’

  ‘Shit,’ said Milton inadvertently. ‘Did he elaborate?’

  ‘Frankly, sir, I think he was about to explain the connection, but I interrupted him.’

  ‘Well, thank Christ for that.’

  ‘It wasn’t his fault, sir. He had no reason to keep it quiet.’

  ‘Don’t say anything for a while. I’m thinking.’

  The silence lasted for as long as it took to walk the length of the front of Harrods. ‘OK, Ellis. It’s damage limitation time. I’ve an idea that may work. I’ll try it on both of you when we get in.’

  ‘Oh, and sir, I told Robert about this when I spoke to him this morning.’

  ‘What was he going to say if Rogers asked him about it?’

  ‘As little as possible. We were to confer later. I was trying to think of a way of talking to the inspector about it.’

  ‘Just as well I don’t like Scotch eggs.’

  ‘You can say that again, sir.’

  ***

  ‘Introduce us, Ellis.’ Milton gave Jenn his best smile and was gratified to see her thrust out her chest and pat her hair in response. ‘So you’re looking after us. Don’t normally get this sort of treatment.’

  She installed them and took orders for coffee. ‘Oh, Jenn!’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Could you get me Bob Amiss? There are a couple of questions the inspector says he forgot to ask him yesterday. Tell him we won’t keep him long.’

  ‘Your word is my command.’ She flashed him a radiant smile.

  ‘Now don’t give me ideas, Jenn.’

  She swung her hips out the door and went off tittering.

  ‘You’ve certainly got a fan there, sir. She didn’t take so well to Inspector Romford: doesn’t seem to like people being paternal.’

  ‘Unless they’ve got incest in mind, I expect,’ said Milton absently. He shut the door, checked a number in his diary and punched it in. ‘Romford? Milton…Yes, thanks…Fine. One small matter. If by any chance Rich Rogers—or indeed anyone from the Knightsbridge school asks you about Robert Amiss—What! He did?…Oh, thank God…Tell him you can’t speak about it…Say it’s private…Just clam up…No, sorry…I can’t talk now. Goodbye.’

  ‘He had a message on his desk asking him to ring Rogers.’

  ‘Phew!’

  A step sounded outside. Milton strode to the door, threw it open and said loudly, ‘Mr Amiss, I presume.’ He had the satisfaction of seeing Amiss’s jaw drop before he said, ‘Yes. Hello.’

  ‘I’m Superintendent Milton, Mr Amiss.’ They shook hands. ‘Please come in and sit down.’

  ‘What the hell are you doing here? All Jenn said was that there was a new one who wasn’t such a stuffed shirt.’

  ‘I’m touched that she noticed.’ Milton filled him in rapidly. ‘Now, Robert. It’s time for a pre-emptive strike. Unless you or Ellis have a better idea, this is what you’ve got to do.’

  Chapter 20

  Cath and Gavs had already disappeared with their groups when Rich and Amiss met by prearrangement in the lounge with theirs.

  ‘Could you spare me a couple of minutes in private, Rich?’

  ‘Certainly, old man.’ Amiss could not tell if it was his imagination or his guilty conscience that made him detect a heartiness false even by Rich’s standards. ‘I’ll send them all off to the winebar ahead of us.’ He clapped his hands. ‘Everybody! Everybody! Stop chattering and listen. Off you all go with Jenn. Bob and I will be after you in a tiny minute.’

  The token protests from Galina and Davina were dealt with by the usual badinage, various students were helped on with their jackets and they all straggled off with Jenn. ‘You must come soon,’ were Galina’s last words, to which Rich replied rather wearily, ‘You couldn’t keep us away, dear lady.’

  ‘Funny,’ said Amiss, as they sat down. ‘I started off teaching tarts and waiters and now I’ve become both.’

  ‘Oh, har…har…har…Very amusing, Bob. Now what’s the problem?’

  ‘I’ve got to come clean with you, Rich. I wasn’t quite straight about why I left the Civil Service.’

  ‘What’s brought on the confession, old man?’

  ‘The police, of course. I had a spot of bother and that twat Inspector Romford was vaguely involved.’

  ‘So you think he might have said something to me. Is that it?’

  ‘Frankly, yes.’

  There was a silence. ‘Did he?’

  ‘That would be telling, Bob. Why don’t you just tell me the story?’

  ‘I wasn’t actually a diplomat. I worked in the Department of Conservation. Last year I was seconded to the FO to work on a conservation conference in Paris.’

  ‘Go on.’

  ‘And there was trouble over my use of the diplomatic bag. A real balls-aching fuss. And all over a bit of hash I sent a friend.’

  ‘And they brought in the police?’

  ‘Yes…Well…To cut a long story short, I’d got a few ounces of some really terrific Moroccan black. Very hard to get here. I didn’t want to run the risk of bringing it through customs, so I tried to send it by diplomatic bag. By a real stroke of bum luck, the day I sent it down to the post room at the Paris embassy was a day when they made one of their routine checks that no improper use was being made of the bag.’

  ‘That was certainly rough luck, Bob.’

  Amiss could hear the doubt in Rich’s voice.

  ‘I’d gone back to London that same day so I got hauled up back in the department and of course I had to deny I knew what was in the parcel. Produced the usual line: I’d been given it by a girl I met at a party. And obviously my friend denied all knowledge of it or me. But the police were brought in and I had a bit of a hard time. They couldn’t prove anything so the case was dropped. I got a nasty turn when I realised yesterday who that pair were. Still, they were friendly enough. Maybe they really do believe you’re innocent until proved guilty.’

  ‘But why did you leave your job?’

  ‘It was made clear to me it would be wiser to resign. After all they could have disciplined me on the technicality of improperly using the diplomatic bag. So I got out before I was pushed and here I am.’

  ‘I’m glad you’ve got it off your chest, Bob. You needn’t have worried about the police. Funnily enough, Romford mentioned he knew you, but the young fellow broke in and quite rightly stopped him saying any more. Still, frankly it did make me wonder.’

  ‘I wouldn’t want you to think I’m a drug smuggler or anything. The s
tuff was only for me and my friends.’ He looked anxiously at Rich. ‘You’re not down on soft drugs, are you?’

  ‘No, Bob. I’m not down on soft drugs. I’m not a believer in the nanny state. Now come on, let’s go and join the BPs. And don’t worry any more. Your secret is safe with me.’

  ***

  ‘Personnel Department, please. Hello, I want to enquire about a past employee of yours who has applied for a job with me.’

  ‘What was his name and rank?’

  ‘Robert Amiss. Don’t know his rank.’

  ‘Well, was he clerical? Or scientific and professional? Or administrative?’ The voice was impatient.

  ‘He has an Arts degree I think.’

  ‘Hold on.’

  It took only another five minutes for someone to be found who knew about Amiss. ‘Yes. We did have an employee of that name. Left in May.’

  ‘Why did he leave?’

  ‘He resigned. You’ll have to ask him the reason.’

  ‘Look, I have to check what he told me.’

  ‘Which was?’

  ‘That he left under a slight cloud.’

  ‘I won’t argue with that. Anything else you wish to know? No? Goodbye.’

  The head of Personnel put down the receiver. What the devil was young Amiss up to, he wondered? The police superintendent had been very vague. And when would the young idiot get some sense and come back to the place where he belonged?

  Rich was relieved that his fears about Amiss had not been realised. On the make he might be, but nothing wrong with that, and he was likeable: except for Gavs, he had been the only one to show any sympathy over Ned.

  He rebuked himself for paranoia. After all, had Amiss been a police spy Romford wouldn’t have acknowledged him. And how absurd to think they would want to stake out the school anyway. No. He must watch himself and not let the stress get to him. His job was to go on running his successful business as well as ever.

  He looked at his watch. Twenty minutes more before Jenn brought his group down for tea. He signed a few cheques for the part-timers, made two routine phone calls and was interrupted by Galina.

  ‘What are you doing out of class?’