“It’s pretty standard, but I don’t know about some of it. I think we need to have an attorney look at it, like you said.”
Nodding, I finally let my grin slip. “Fuck, guys, this is our first serious signing offer. What the fuck? Can you believe this shit?” Hugging Logan to me, I shook him as he gave me a smile. Aiden and Dominic gave a high five before joining in and making it a laughing group hug.
“I knew it would happen! Fuck yeah!” Aiden wrapped his arms around all of us and lifted us off the damn ground for a brief second.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Aiden! You’re going to give yourself a damn hernia!” We weren’t any of us small guys.
“Or break our fucking ribs! Fuck, man!” Dominic wheezed.
“First thing Monday morning I’ll take these down to Jake. He’s a friend of a friend who’s a lawyer. If he can’t help me, he’ll be able to refer me to a reputable entertainment attorney.” Logan grabbed his bass that was already cased up and his first smile appeared.
Still riding high from the show, this was the cherry on top of our adrenaline sundae. “What do you say we go have some drinks to celebrate?” Dominic had already packed his equipment up in our trailer, with the help of some of Logan’s buddies and a few roadies from the other band who took pity on us as we rushed to get our equipment torn down after our last song. Ever the optimist, I told myself one day soon we wouldn’t be doing all of it ourselves.
He then nudged Aiden to get his shit gathered up.
“Fuck yeah. Let me text my mom so she doesn’t worry when I don’t come home.” After shooting out a text, Aiden placed his guitar in the case. Everything else was already loaded up.
“I thought your mom got her own apartment?” Dominic asked Aiden.
“Yeah, but she can’t move in until the first of the month. Fuck, I love my mom and my sister but my one-bedroom apartment is crowded as fuck with the three of us in there.” Dark, damp hair stuck up all over the place after he ran a hand through it, and he blew out a frustrated breath.
I flicked my arm, and my watch lit up. “We have time to shower and then we can meet up at Beveridge at eleven. Sound good?”
“Hell, yeah. Let’s move out.” Dominic headed up the group as we filed out of the small room we’d used backstage and out the back door. Piling into my truck, we pulled out with visions of record deals, tours, and screaming fans rolling through our heads.
I dropped everyone off and backed my truck into my parents’ driveway. Resting against the headrest, I opened the door and sat listening to the night sounds. My mind wandered to Poppy as it often did. If I closed my eyes, I could see her smiling face, smell her perfume, hear her laughter. Fuck, I missed her.
For shits and giggles, I dug my phone out of my back pocket and hit her number. It rang once before a recording came on that the number I dialed had been disconnected. “What the fuck?” Well, there was my answer.
After climbing out of my truck, I slammed the door in frustration. Fine. It was time I moved on. Fuck it. Too bad my heart hadn’t gotten the fucking memo.
Showered and changed, I headed back out. Once I parked and walked into the dimly lit bar, my eyes sought and found the guys where they had already commandeered a table. Rowdy laughter met my ears as I sat down.
“Hey handsome, what can I get you to drink?” The waitress appeared at the end of the table and I ordered a Crown and Coke. I was driving, so I didn’t plan on getting shitfaced, but I was certainly going to enjoy myself. When she came back with my drink in hand, the napkin she set it on had a number written on it.
With a raised eyebrow, I glanced at her, and she winked before sashaying her ass off to the next table. “Man, how the fuck did you manage that? You just sat down!” Aiden spouted with disbelief coloring his face.
Dominic and Logan laughed. “Hell, it’s a gift he and Lucas always had.” At the reminder of the brother we’d lost, the table went quiet for a couple of minutes. For a second, I stared into my glass, then raised it toward the middle of the table.
“To Lucas, wherever he may be, and to the future success of Straight Wicked. May the world be our oyster.” Four glasses clinked together with rounds of “here, here” and “hell yeah.” The drink went down almost too well. Three more and I knew I was calling an Uber.
By the time last call was announced we were all feeling pretty good. Not rip-roaring drunk, but we were past the ability to safely operate a vehicle.
Aiden had been talking with a brunette who started out at the table next to us, but was now sitting in his lap. Her friends had pulled their chairs up and were all crowded around our table as well. By that time, they were all looking good, but I couldn’t quiet the voice that screamed they were no Poppy.
That seriously pissed me off. When the waitress stopped by to see if we wanted a last round, I pulled the damp napkin from under my currently empty glass. “No, I’m good, but how about I cash this in?”
Eyes lighting up, she grinned and leaned over to whisper in my ear. “I’m supposed to be off the clock, but we were busy so I stuck around. Give me five minutes and I’ll grab my things.” Her gaze raked over me before she ran her tongue over her full red lips and gave me a smirk. “It looks like I’ll be driving. You okay with that?”
“Whatever you say, gorgeous.” My head spun and that stupid piece of my conscience that wouldn’t shut up said this was a bad idea. Shoving that fucker away, I told myself this was exactly what I needed. Feeling eyes on me, I looked up to meet Logan’s glaring gaze.
“What the fuck is your problem?”
Without answering me, he tipped back his shot glass and grabbed the hand of the redhead who’d shown up about an hour after I arrived.
“Nothing. You have fun with that. I’m out.” As he turned his back, he stumbled slightly and I wondered if I should make sure he got home okay. I called his name, but without turning around he flipped me off and walked out.
Dominic had stood and tossed some cash on the table for the waitress for his last drink. “I’m taking off. One of you can have my drink if you want it.” He slung his arm around a petite blonde and shot us a grin. “I’ll catch you guys tomorrow.”
Through bleary eyes, I watched as they practically fucked each other going out the door.
“Goddamn, they’re gonna get it for public indecency if they aren’t careful.” Aiden laughed before turning to the chick wrapped around him. “You ready to bounce, baby?” Her answer was to nuzzle into his tatted neck.
“See you tomorrow, man.” After they had all left, I sat at the table and drank Dominic’s drink.
Hands slid up my side and I jumped, about to throat punch whoever had snuck up on me from behind.
“Whoa, cowboy! It’s just me. You ready?” The thumping of my heart slowed with each deep breath I took. Fuck. Nodding, I hopped down from the stool and wavered slightly before I blinked rapidly and focused on her brown eyes.
“Sorry.”
The drive to her place was a blur. I may have passed out. Who knows? I barely made it up the stairs and into her apartment.
My hands fumbled as I undressed her. Soft hands slid up my torso before she helped me with my belt buckle. The details are foggy, but I remember falling naked into bed with her. I pulled her close, buried my face in her hair, and shook. Head to fucking toe, I shook.
Soothing hands that felt wrong, perfume that was too sweet, and hair that was the wrong color enveloped me.
“Good morning, handsome. You hungry? I made omelets.” Blinking painfully at the bright light, I scanned the unfamiliar room. Peach sheets rested just above my dick. In a mild panic, I raised the sheet, confirmed I was buck-ass naked, and sat up.
The waitress from last night stood in the doorway with a plate in her hand. I realized she was wearing my T-shirt, which hung on her like an oversized dress. Fuck, fuck, fuck. My hands scrubbed my face and mussed my hair.
“What time is it?” Croaked words left my parched mouth that tasted like a dinosaur shit in it overnight. With
a grimace, I looked around for evidence that I was smart and wrapped my junk last night. Thinking about fucking her made me sick to my stomach in the sober light of day. Not seeing anything made it worse.
“Ten.” She had barely gotten the words out before I was jumping out of bed, uncaring that I was rushing, dick swinging, to the bathroom I’d seen in my initial scan of the room.
After hurling my stomach lining out, I rinsed my mouth with water. Thankful for the bottle of mouthwash sitting on the counter, I waterfalled a capful and swished until my tongue was numb.
My hands rested on the counter as I hung my head. Regret ate at me. It shouldn’t, because Poppy had made it very clear there was no “us.” But fuck, I felt like I’d cheated on her.
“I’m taking that as a no on the food?” At the sound of her amused voice, I turned my head and blinked at her. Words eluded me.
“Damn, that’s one hell of a sight.” Her eyes were flickering back and forth from my ass to my dick. “Wish I could have enjoyed it.”
“Huh?” My bloodshot eyes squinted at her. “What the hell are you talking about? You mean we didn’t… you know?”
Melodic laughter filled the small room. “Uh, no. Much to my disappointment. We made it to the bed but that’s really as far as we got. You hugged me tight, then began calling me Poppy and apologizing over and over before you finally passed out.”
Relief flooded every inch of my aching body. “Oh, thank fuck. I mean, not that you aren’t a great person or anything….” She stepped out of the way as I left the bathroom to pull on my pants. I had no idea where my boxers had gone and at that moment I didn’t give a shit. I didn’t even bother buckling my belt and it clinked as I pulled on my socks and shoes. Belatedly realizing she had my shirt on, I debated whether to ask for it or just leave without it.
A grin split her face as mischief lit her eyes. Then she tugged the shirt in question over her head, tossing it to me. I averted my eyes as she stepped into the bathroom. By the time she came out again, she was tying a short robe around her waist.
“Don’t worry. No hard feelings. But when you make it big, I expect front-row tickets to your first Seattle show.” With a wink, she sauntered out of the room. Her voice carried in from the other room. “Oh, and if you wanted to hook me up with your guitar player, I’d be happy with that too.”
My phone was on the floor by the bed and I picked it up to see I’d missed three calls from a Florida number and had two voicemail messages. Hope spread in my chest, thinking it might be Poppy. Disappointment followed when I played back the first message and it was a man named John asking me to call him. The next message he left had me curious.
“Hey Levi, this is John Schuler… I own the bar your brother Lucas worked at here in Florida. First, let me tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Second, I know this is random, but I’ve been listening to your songs on YouTube and thinking about the things your brother told me about you guys. I’d really like you to call me to discuss coming down here to play. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of me and my place, but I have a feeling it would be worth your while.” He left his phone number, then the message ended.
I pulled my phone away from my ear and stared at it in confusion.
What the hell?
“By the Way”—Theory of a Deadman
Late October
The day she left was the day I lost my heart. Not that I would have admitted it to anyone, and not in a good way. I was talking slice me open with a dull, rusty knife, rip my beating heart from its home—lost my heart. Absently, my hand rubbed my aching chest at the thought.
The soldier in me wanted to storm her house and force her to talk to me. The stubborn asshole in me refused.
I stood at the airport, staring out the window. The planes were taxiing along and lined up at the gates, loading and unloading. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get her out of my head. It was easy to imagine her standing in the very same place I was, waiting to board her plane the day she left. Of course, her occupying space in my head was nothing new. She’d lived there every fucking day since the very first time I’d seen her in the bar.
“Levi! Why you looking so miserable? This is supposed to be an exciting time. Come on, man,” Logan heckled me. The guys were joking and laughing in some nearby chairs and I couldn’t help but smile at their excitement over this trip. Yeah, I was happy too, I was just… hell, I didn’t know what I was. Anxious?
“I’m good. I’ll be sitting soon enough.” Returning my gaze to the window, I resumed my thoughts.
When John, Lucas’s old boss, had called us and asked us to come down, I was skeptical. The man didn’t even know us. Despite insisting Lucas had sung our praises, and he had seen some of our performances on YouTube, it seemed weird that he would seek us out.
From what I’d heard, bands were fighting to have a chance to audition and play at his place—he didn’t ask people to play. The old saying about things being too good to be true kept circling in my brain. But my doubts were overridden by the guys, and I couldn’t say I blamed them. It was a fantastic opportunity.
It had taken a couple of months to get everything coordinated on both ends, but it was really happening. Finally.
If you weren’t in the music industry, you might not understand why it was big deal to play at some small beach bar in Florida. But if you were in any way affiliated with the music scene, you knew John had a reputation for giving bands a kickstart. Of all the successful groups performing today, a good chunk of them had been given their big start at John’s place on the beach.
Some people called him the “Midas of Music.” Funny thing was, he wasn’t a producer, a manager, agent, or anything. He just had an ear for great bands and musicians and knew when they had serious potential to make it big. Because of his musical Midas touch, a lot of big names in the music industry did show up to listen to the musicians perform. Which was why his request to have us play was a huge deal. Of course, me being ever the skeptic, I had a feeling it was a pity call on his part because of Lucas’s death.
It had been going on nine months since he’d died, and it was just barely starting to become bearable. Not to say any of us had moved on and were living our lives like nothing happened. No. We were just to the point where we were making it through the day without breaking down.
Of course, I slept like shit most nights. Nothing out of the ordinary for me since I came back from my third deployment. Crazy enough, on the few nights that I slept well, if I wasn’t dreaming about Poppy, I was dreaming about Lucas.
If I was honest, my dreams were of Lucas a lot. Sometimes I remembered every detail, others just little stills flashing past my eyes. In the ones I remembered, Lucas and I would sit and talk. A lot like we’d done as kids, but hadn’t done in years because he had gone and moved to fucking Florida. It was weird, because in my dreams we would be walking on the beach, or sitting in my living room, or surrounded by nothing but white. Nothing fantastical like you would expect from a dream—just normal or mostly normal scenarios.
Up until last night, I had wanted to back out of the trip. When I finally fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning, dream-Lucas chewed my ass and made me promise I’d go. So there I was at the airport in Seattle, waiting to board a plane to sunny fucking Florida.
My guts were churning, wondering if I would see her while we were there. She had been John’s travel manager, but he had handled everything personally. Which left me wondering if she had taken a job somewhere else. Or maybe she just refused to deal with us.
After the text she’d sent me, I could believe that to be the case. In one fell swoop, I’d lost the woman I considered my best friend and the woman I was crazy about.
Goddamn, that had hurt. I’d tried to call her every day, several times a day. Finally she had sent me a text asking me to never contact her again. Reading it had eviscerated me. I’d only wanted the opportunity to explain that Angelica had been a straight-up bitch trying to stir the shit. In the end, it didn’t matter. T
hat message had told me everything I needed to know. Regardless of the why, she didn’t want anything further from me. While that ripped my chest open, leaving my guts strewn at my feet, I wasn’t going to chase after her.
They called for our boarding group and we entered the plane, stowing the few instruments we brought with as gate-checked luggage. Then we settled in for the flight.
Try as I might, I couldn’t sleep like I’d planned, thanks to Logan and Dominic talking to me. Nonstop.
Like I said, nerves had kept me from sleeping much the night before, so I had hoped to catch a few Z’s on the plane. It was approximately a four-hour flight to Dallas where we would have a two-hour layover before catching our second leg of the flight into Pensacola. Foolishly, I’d thought the first leg would be the perfect time to catch up.
“This is some shit, huh?” Logan was nervous as hell, but he was trying to appear cool. He was the youngest of the band at twenty-four and hated being reminded of it. But I remembered how I was at that age. Though it was only a few years ago, it seemed like a lifetime.
In his defense, we were flying first class and it was a whole new experience for all of us. Well, except for Dominic. He’d told us about how one time when he was in the Marine Corps and on his way home on leave, a businessman had given up his first-class seat for him. That was cool as fuck, and I wished more people would do selfless things to give back to our nation’s military members.
“Hell yeah, it is. We’re not even anyone special—yet—and here we are flying first class. I’m telling you, it’s a sign of things to come. Fucking A, I could get used to this.” Aiden grinned and leaned his seat back to stretch out his legs. With his size, it was probably a good thing we were in first class. “One day, this is going to be the norm for us. You watch and see.” Of all of us, that big motherfucker was the one who had no doubt we were going to catch our lucky break. He’d said it the first time we ever played together. Yes, he was cocky, but he had the never-ending optimism that kept pushing us forward.
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