One Night Stand

by Brooks, Sarah J.

  “I’ll make sure to get him dressed before you arrive,” I promised solemnly, and she let out a small, grudging chuckle—music to my ears.

  “I’ll be there in twenty,” she told me. “Catch you soon.”

  And with that, she hung up. I focused on making dinner, keeping myself calm, knowing that if I let myself get stressed or overthink this it was going to come across like I was reading from a script when she arrived, and the last thing she needed was insincerity. Ant could see through me like an X-ray, and I knew she wouldn’t take any of that shit, not after I’d been hiding stuff from her all this time.

  She arrived on time just as I was serving up the simple pasta dish into two plates and pouring some wine, which never hurt in greasing the wheels of someone’s forgiveness, right? I headed to the door, closed my eyes, and counted to three, and then pressed the buzzer to let her in.

  She headed up the stairs and greeted me at the door, and I went to hug her, but she held her hands up.

  “Hey, I’m still mad at you, remember,” she told me firmly, and I grimaced and stepped aside to let her into the apartment.

  “I know you are.” I nodded, and I followed her to the dining table. She looked around the place, the flicker of a smile on her face. “It looks so good in here,” she remarked. “So different from when you moved in.”

  “Thanks.” I smiled, and she took her seat at the dining table and picked up her fork, twirling a long strand of spaghetti around it and watching me as I went to join her.

  “Now, are you just here for a free dinner, or can I actually talk to you now?” I wondered aloud as I picked up my wine and took a long sip—liquid courage, and I was going to need it.

  “You can talk to me,” she agreed, and she looked up at me with her lips pressed together. There was pain on her face, that was clear to anyone who was paying attention, and I felt a twist of guilt for having done this to her. The last thing I ever wanted in the world was to hurt my best friend. I just wanted her to be happy and, at the moment, this was the thing I was sure would keep her at her happiest. But finding out about it the way she had … I should have known better. Both of us should.

  “Ant, I just want to say that I’m sorry,” I began, speaking from my heart. “And I know that the two of us hurt you, really badly.”

  “You did,” she agreed, and she put her fork down, seemingly losing her appetite. “I didn’t … I don’t want to be a bitch about this or act like I have dominion over everything you guys have ever done or will ever do, but I just feel like I knew you were a bad fit for a reason, you know?”

  “I get that.” I nodded seriously. “And I get why you thought that. Your parents …”

  I didn’t need to go any further than that; the wince on Ant’s face was more than enough to tell me that I’d made my point. It was obvious that the pain of their loss still weighed heavily on her, to the point where she let it influence almost everything that she did in her life. I wondered why Logan wasn’t the same and then remembered that he had been older when he arrived in the city after their deaths and that it hadn’t been long till he had to plow all his energy into taking care of his daughter. Ant didn’t have that kind of distraction.

  “Yeah, I know,” she breathed, and she looked down at her plate and shook her head, picking up her wine. “I know I shouldn’t let all of that get in the way I live my life, but …”

  “But it’s hard when you’re worried about letting something hurt one of the people closest to you,” I finished up for her. “I know how important Erin is to you, Ant, and I would never do anything to hurt her. She’s a sweet kid, and as far as she knows, I’m just the neighbor who babysits sometimes.”

  “You’re sure?” she asked, and she eyed me with a degree of distrust that seemed born from something other than the situation directly at hand. I nodded seriously.

  “I know I’ve told you I don’t want kids before,” I admitted. “And I know I’ve been pretty firm on that. But I’m not … this isn’t like I’m just moving in upstairs and living there and being her mom right away. I’m just dating her dad and getting to know the two of them a little bit better, alright? It’s not a big deal.”

  Ant leaned back from the table, stared at me for a long moment, and then nodded slowly. “Alright, I believe you,” she sighed and took another long sip of her wine. “About Erin. But what about Logan?”

  “What about him?” I asked.

  “I mean, my brother hasn’t been out on the dating scene in a hell of a long time,” she reminded me. “And whatever reason he’s got back into it with you for, I think it has to be something pretty special.”

  “Yeah?” I swallowed heavily and hoped that she couldn’t see the clear enthusiasm at that notion written all over my face.

  “Yeah.” She nodded. “And I’m just concerned since you guys are at such different places in your lives …” She trailed off, leaving the unspoken words there between us, and I bit my lip.

  “Look, Ant, I know that it’s hard for you to believe,” I conceded, “because I misled you and because I hid things from you, maybe I don’t deserve you to just believe me. Trust me, I get that.”

  “Glad you do,” she replied, a tiny bit sharp. Then she shook her head and softened. I’m sorry I’m acting like such a bitch, this is all just so much for me to take in, you know?”

  “I get it, I do,” I assured her. “And I get that you’re worried about me coming out here and hurting your brother after everything he’s been through already.”

  “If you met his ex, then you’d know where I was coming from.” She shook her head darkly. “That woman …”

  “You can give me the dish on her as soon as we get on to our second glass.” I tapped the wine in front of me. “But Ant, Logan and I had the talk today. You know, the … the big one, about what we are, and all of that.”

  “Oh yeah?” She raised her eyebrows at me. “Can’t imagine that was the most fun conversation in the world.”

  “No, it really wasn’t.” I shook my head. “I never thought … I didn’t think I’d be talking that way with anyone so soon after what happened with my ex, let alone with your damn brother, but we knew that if we wanted you to take us seriously, we needed to actually be sure that we were on the same page.”

  “And you are?”

  “We are,” I agreed, and a smile cracked over my face before I could stop it. “Seriously, Ant, what’s happening between us—I don’t think either of us expected it to end up where it has. When I met him, I never thought in a million years that we would … that this would be something real, you know?”

  Ant seemed unable to keep the smile off her face, and she grinned at me, the expression looking as though it was going to leap right off her head. “I’m so happy that you guys are happy,” she finally admitted. “And I’m sorry I was so harsh. I was just … scared. For all of you. And I shouldn’t have let my own stupid insecurities get in the way; I see that now. You guys are together, and that’s … that’s not what I expected, but I guess that it’s a good thing.”

  “It is,” I promised her. “For both of us, really. You should come spend time with Logan and me, and maybe Erin too, so you can actually see that I’m not just going to throw myself out the nearest window as soon as I get the chance.”

  “Hey, I was pretty sure I was going to be the one throwing you out that window for a hot minute.” She raised her eyebrows at me, and I laughed. I reached over and squeezed her hand, suddenly feeling this swell of love for the woman who was my best friend.

  “You have no idea how much this means to me,” I told her. “For you to accept us.”

  And I realized that I wasn’t exaggerating, not one little bit. And, as what I’d just said sunk in, something else clicked into place as well. Something that made my head hurt a little. As I talked about Logan, a word had been pulsing in my brain, a word that I had been trying to avoid and wriggle out from under all this time: the word Love. And now that it was there, I wasn’t sure I could shake it. />
  “Hey, are you alright?” Ant asked, tapping my hand. “You look a little pale.”

  “Yup, doing fine,” I lied to her at once, plastering a big smile on my face. “Come on, let’s eat, I’m starving.”

  And as I tucked into the food, that word whirled around and around my head, and I knew that I was going to have to confront it sooner rather than later.

  Chapter 14

  Logan

  I whistled to myself as I carried the bags up to the apartment. Actually whistled! When was the last time I had wandered around whistling like I was in a movie musical and I was a minute away from bursting into song?

  Well, it had been a long time since I’d had a reason to feel this happy. I was planning a date night with Nina that evening, cooking a nice dinner for her in the apartment, and spending the night together, while Ant watched Erin for us over at her apartment. It had been a stressful couple of weeks, what with Ant finding out and Nina having to do damage control and coax her back around to our side, but that was over now, and I would be damned if I wasn’t going to enjoy myself as much as I could.

  It was weird, being in a real relationship again. I had nearly forgotten that first sweet flush of love, how exciting it was to feel that thrill run through you when you thought about the person you were with, about what the future could hold for the two of you. In fact, even back when I had been a young man and actively dating, I was sure that I had never felt anything quite like this. Back then, everything had come with an expiration date for when my patience would run out or they would get bored of me staying up all night every night to party my ass off. But now that I was more settled, now that my life was held together at the seams for the most part, now that I had a kid, and a job and an apartment—this thing with Nina felt like it was going somewhere, building to a life that the two of us could make for one another.

  And this was the first time I would really cook for her. Well, cook dinner; I made her breakfast that one time, but that had just been pancakes, nothing special. I was going all-out and putting together this gorgeous pea and mint risotto, a recipe that I picked up and perfected at work. I remembered the first time I tried it, telling myself that it would make an amazing date-night recipe if I ever needed to impress a woman again. And, well, here was the woman for me to impress. I realized that I’d been putting away little relationship tips and tricks that had gone unused over the last few years—that’s what came from working with people older than you who were always happy to dole out sage advice about how to make a relationship work whether you wanted to hear it or not—but now that I was in one again, I could whip them all out and be the boyfriend that I knew I could be. Nina got the Logan two-point-oh, the version of me who could actually pull off this relationship thing without having to spend three nights a week at the club with his friends.

  I swung the bag full of the groceries I’d picked up by my side as I strolled down the street, and I wondered what we were going to get up to that night with the apartment all to ourselves. That last time, when Erin had been at her after-school club, I had taken firm advantage of the space and the time, and Nina had given as good as she had taken it. My kinky side had been on lockdown since Erin came along, but now that it was out to play once more, I had to admit that I missed having it around. I looked forward to finding out just how far I could take her, just how far she was going to let me go over the course of this evening.

  It was strange to think that the last person I dated had been Samantha. I mean, if you could even really call what the two of us did dating; it was more a controlled explosion, the both of us flipping our lives upside down to try and get things to work when we knew, in our hearts, that they were never fucking going to. Samantha wasn’t the worst person in the world, but sometimes she came pretty damn close to it, and I just couldn’t handle the thought of raising a child with her. Hell, even being alone in a room with her for more than five minutes at a time. I was glad she was off traveling the world, doing what-the-fuck-ever with her life, because it meant she kept herself away from Erin and me. What would she do if she found out about Nina? The thought hadn’t crossed my mind until then, but I winced at the very imagining of it. That wouldn’t be good. That wouldn’t be good at all. I would just have to make sure that I kept our relationship on lockdown long enough that Nina was firmly integrated into our lives before Samantha came rolling back in to wave her arms around and make noise about being Erin’s mother again, as though that meant a damn thing after the way she had treated her daughter.

  But maybe it would be different with Nina. In fact, I knew for sure that it was going to be different with her because I was so far removed from the person I had been when things had kicked off between Samantha and me. I had Erin to think of first, and she was always the one at the front of my mind; I would never let anything get in the way of that, and I had been her father for long enough to know I could trust my instincts on this. Nina was good for Erin, had been from the moment she’d stepped up to take care of her that evening, and even if Erin had little clue as to what was actually going on between us, I knew that she would be delighted when we decided it was time to tell her. This was a new start for all of us, for Erin and for me, and maybe even for Nina as well. I would have to get the full story of that asshole of an ex out of her one day—

  Just as I approached the steps to our apartment building, I stopped dead in my tracks. I blinked a couple of times as though the image in front of me was so clearly and utterly wrong that it would reveal itself to be a mirage. But she was still there when I opened my eyes.

  Samantha. I must have manifested her with the power of thought alone.

  I strode up to her quickly, and she got to her feet as soon as she saw me approaching. She was drumming those long-ass nails on the metal railing of the steps, staring at me expectantly, as though she had an appointment.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” I demanded, and Samantha rolled her eyes at me in that infuriating way she had, as though I was the biggest idiot in the world for not instantly catching on.

  “I’m here to see my daughter,” she replied simply, as though the answer should have been obvious. I widened my eyes at her. Sure, I had expected some bullshit, but this was something else entirely.

  “You can’t seriously think that I’m just going to turn around and let you see Erin because you rolled up at her doorstep demanding to spend time with her?” I stared at her, shaking my head. “Come on, Samantha, even you’re not that stupid.”

  “Don’t,” she lifted one pointed nail and held it an inch from my face, “call me stupid.”

  The perfume that she’d always worn was nearly choking me, and I wanted to step away from her, to catch my breath and get my head together, but I knew I had to deal with this now before things got any more out of control.

  “Samantha,” I fought the urge to shake her to get some actual sense into her. “You heard what I said on the phone last week, didn’t you? If you want to arrange an actual schedule with Erin, we can do that, but I’m trying to make sure that life is as settled and as easy for her as possible—”

  “And you don’t want me to be a part of it.” She shook her head. “How easy do you think that is? For a young girl, growing up without a mother? You can’t tell me she doesn’t feel as though she’s missing out.”

  I dumped my bags and ran my hands through my hair. I would have taken her up to the apartment just to get her off the street, but I didn’t want her to get in there in case she just refused to leave. This wasn’t how I wanted to explain the ex-situation to Nina, that was for sure.

  “I think she does just fine without you,” I replied firmly. I was starting to lose my cool. How could she always do this to me? I could be the calmest, coolest, most zen I had ever been, and she could still needle me in such a way that made me feel like I was going to start yelling at her any second.

  “Then let me see her,” Samantha implored me.

  Anyone else might have taken the passion in her
voice for sincerity, for an actual, genuine urge to see her daughter, but I knew what it was: an attempt to manipulate me, to get me to give her anything and everything she wanted. She knew how to get me angry, and she knew how to make it look like I was the one who was being unreasonable.

  “Samantha, I’m not going to have this conversation with you for a minute longer,” I told her firmly. “I don’t care how certain you are that you deserve to see her, you don’t, and if you really want to prove that you can make this work, you can call me up, and we can figure out a time that actually works for both of us. Alright?”

  “That’s not what I’m here for!” she exploded, suddenly losing her cool; she would be stamping her foot and demanding her way before I knew it.

  “Then go,” I snapped back at her. “I don’t want you here. Erin isn’t even here tonight, she’s staying with someone else.”

  I nearly dropped Ant’s name, but I thought better of it at the last moment—the last thing I needed was her figuring out where my sister lived and storming all the way over there to try and make her point to Ant in person. I was pretty sure Ant would take the opportunity to gleefully call the cops on her, and frankly, I wouldn’t blame her.

  “You’re keeping my daughter from me,” she gasped, as though she could hardly believe that this was happening. “You realize that? You’re keeping a family apart, Logan. This is your doing.”

  “I know it is,” I replied, clenching my fists at my sides, trying to keep my shit together so I didn’t just go off on her. “But that’s the best thing for this family, keeping us apart. You made that decision when you abandoned the two of us, remember?”

  “That was so long ago.” She waved her hand. “You really expect me to stand by every single thing that I did nearly a decade ago?”