by Kylie Walker
I giggled. “Mm hmm, wow is right.”
“It’s only going to get better you know,” he whispered and pressed his lips into the side of my face.
I nodded but said, “I’m not sure I can handle much better.”
I felt him grin against the side of my face. “You can handle it. Erica?”
I pulled my head up slightly so that I could see his face. God, he’s gorgeous. “Yes?”
“Please promise me something.”
“What’s that?”
“Don’t ever leave me again without saying good-bye. Even if you’re mad, just please don’t disappear on me.” I thought about what he’s been through with his sister popping in and out of his life and felt a wave of guilt for the two times I’d walked away from him without a word.
“I promise,” I told him. I still had to evaluate why I was so willing to jump to conclusions where he was concerned, but at this point I honestly believe it was what Adele said, I’m afraid of these overwhelming feelings I have for him and I’m trying to run from them. I finally realized that I was running from the best feelings I’d ever had and instead of away, I wanted to run toward them. “I can’t promise to be perfect, but I promise to trust you and believe in you enough to talk to you if something is bothering me.”
I felt his arms tighten around my back as he said, “I promise to do the same. I think I’m falling in love with you.”
My breath caught in my throat. I hadn’t been expecting that at all. I was even more surprised when I heard myself say, “I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you too.”
BONUS BOOK
SCARRED
Chapter 1
Kelly Ward could taste the iron in the blood that dripped into her mouth. Her hands shook and trembled violently as she held her cell phone to her ear waiting for her best friend to pick up.
“Hello?”
“Call 911!” She breathed. “Jesse is trying to kill me!” She cried into the phone hoping Chantelle heard her whispered cry.
“LET ME IN YOU FUCKING BITCH!” Jesse screamed delivering another blow to the outside of the bathroom door.
Sitting on the white tiled floor, Kelly had her back to the door bracing her feet against the wall when her friend responded. “KELLY? Kelly! I’m calling now! Hold on!” Chantelle screamed on the other end.
The phone slipped from Kelly’s hand and it slid across the tiled floor when another blow to the door made her back bounce off of it and her hands hit the bathroom tile in an effort to brace herself.
“LEAVE ME ALONE!” She yelled.
“YOU FUCKING BITCH! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!” He screamed, delivering another blow to the already weakened frame. This time she heard the door crack.
A moment later everything went silent…
The silence was so numbing that she wondered if something had already happened to her. Perhaps, she would blink and see her body lying lifelessly in a pool of blood.
They say that people die without knowing what hit them. Maybe that was the reason for the eerie, otherworldly silence that seemed to ring all too loudly in her ears.
Yet, it didn’t take long for Kelly to realize that she was still very much connected to her body and it was relentlessly trembling uncontrollably. Breathing heavily she continued to hear and feel her own heartbeat, throbbing with a fervor, as if it would rupture at any moment and beat right through her chest.
Then, she heard a clinking sound coming from the door knob. Twisting her head she looked up at the knob through watery eyes to see the handle twerking from side to side. Seeing this, she quickly whipped around on her knees, clasping the knob with her two hands.
Despite her efforts, the door finally smashed into her, knocking Kelly on her back. With her hands up in the air, she looked at Jesse like a caged animal. “No...No...No!!!” She screamed as he grabbed her by her long blonde hair dragging her back into the living room. Trying to fight back, her hands came up grabbing at his, clawing at him with her nails, trying to force him to release her.
“No Jesse....PLEASE!” She begged as she felt her hair being released with such haste that she smacked her head on the floor. When she recovered, she noticed him now standing above her while she laid on the ground, helplessly gaping up at him.
Bracing herself for the blow she curled in the fetal position but it was too late. She felt the crack of her ribs as his boot connected hard with her stomach. “You piece of shit! You’re worthless!” Jesse spat as he continued to kick her in the stomach.
The last blow almost left her unconscious when she felt his boot connect with her face. Her head spun back and she could once again feel the blood trickle out of her mouth and her eyes rolled into the back of her head. She lay on the floor in a pool of her own blood not being able to move. The pain was unbearable as she tried to open her badly battered eyes. Kelly watched him through slits walk to the kitchen and grab a knife. She knew this was her last chance. If she didn’t do something now, she was certain that she would die.
Despite her broken body’s objections, she dragged herself to the couch so she was leaning upright against the furniture. Frantically looking at the table for anything to grab, she spotted her nail file. Grabbing it quickly she held it tight in one hand as she watched Jesse approach.
His mouth curled wickedly when he knelt down and stared. “Ya know. I have no idea what I ever saw in you. What a fucking waste of two years.” He sneered waving the knife in front of her face.
All she could smell was the strong odor of bourbon that rolled off his tongue as he snarled at her. Kelly’s eyes were so badly swollen from the earlier blows that she could barely see. How could she have spent two years of her life with this monster? And it was going to end like this? She studied his face and tried to look into the green eyes she once knew. Whimpering she pleaded one last time. “Jesse, Please. Don’t do this.”
Shaking his head back and forth he spat. “Sorry Kelly, but you’re just not worth saving.” With that she watched as he brought the knife under her arm by her breast slicing into her flesh along her rib cage. She screamed out in pain, raising her hand and stabbing his arm that held the knife.
“You fucking bitch!” He growled dropping the knife.
Kelly could hear the sirens in the background. Help was coming. If she could just hold on for a little longer. She thought she heard the door get busted in when she felt the knife slide into her side again taking her breath away.
Opening her eyes one last time she saw two cops holding Jesse face down and handcuffing him. His last whispered words were. “I will kill you Kelly!”
Everything went spotted and turned black…
Chapter 2
May 31, 2011
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. My new name, my new identity. Today marks two years since that night I thought I had died. The scars on my body will always be a reminder of the life I had tried to bury before Jesse came into it and afterward. Jesus Christ, I can’t stop shaking... I’m scared shitless! Two more months and he will be free! Out of prison for good to come looking for me, possibly to try and kill me again.
Now that I am three hours away living in a different City, dyed hair, contacts and a new name, a new life, he won’t find me - there’s no way he will find me! I will not go to the extent of changing everything about myself! I am not that weak pathetic little girl anymore.
Today will mark my new beginning, not as the scarred Kelly Ward, but my new life as Chloe Green.
Chloe stopped writing. Her hand shaking slightly. Staring at the last sentence as though she was trying to convince herself that her words rang true. The pen hovered over the dark burgundy bound book she had kept for most of her adult life to pour her soul into, her only release.
Shaking her head she laid the pen down and ran a hand through her long brown hair. Chloe’s stomach fluttered knowing damn well she was scared beyond belief, but she also knew that she had to be strong, like she had been her entire life. But today was special.
It was the two year anniversary since that dreadful night and also the day of her new identity finally becoming legal.
She stood up and shoved the book into her dresser drawer. She didn’t even glance at the mirrored armoire that was sitting in the corner of her bedroom. She knew what she saw. Kelly Ward. Blonde, frail, broken and scarred. But now she was Chloe Green, brunette, blue eyes, slender figure, self-provider, and the woman men wanted but couldn't have. She had written them off... and always on guard.
Now she wore a hard shell, learned to rely on no one, no matter how bad things got. For the last two years she had learned very fast to mold herself into someone new. Grabbing her large black leather tote bag, she threw in her lip gloss, pepper spray and Spyderco pocket knife.
“Are you coming? We’re going to be late!” The female voice drifted from down the hall.
Throwing the tote over her shoulder she yelled out as she exited her room. “I’m coming.”
“What the hell took you so long?” Lexi threw her a scolding look.
Looking down at her watch Chloe frowned at her roommate. “We have lots of time. Relax for Christ sake.”
Lexi was already out the front door and in the car when Chloe walked out and locked the door to the small apartment they shared. Turning, she walked to the Jetta, got in and they drove off.
****
Chloe walked out of the room, fanning herself with her recently earned wad of fifty dollar bills. A layer of sweat had started to gather over her skin, making her hands slick with perspiration. The music of the prestigious private club pulsed through the furniture and the walls around her making the air thick with vibration. She saw one man re-enter the main floor, his face wearing a casual smile as he met his business associates.
Finally approaching the bar, she gazed around at the dancing lights that highlighted the various strippers and lustful business men. The counter was smooth marble and cool to the touch as she rested her weight against it. She could feel the various gazes on her as the customers eyed her up and down.
Ignoring them, she waited for the bartender. Lexi walked over with a smile on her face. “How was it?”
“Not too bad.” She replied as she handed her the money. “He didn't try it on.”
Lexi flicked through the wad of bills and raised her eyebrows. “At least that's something.” Placing it beneath the bar, she pulled out Chloe’s cigarettes and handed them to her along with her lighter.
She smiled in gratitude. “Anyone else out there?”
“Nope, the others are working.” Chloe grinned as she spotted a familiar looking man sitting in one of the private booths. “Holy Shit. That is Judge Wilks over there.”
Lexi’s eyes followed Chloe’s. “Fucking slime ball. If only his wife knew he was here.” She smirked in disgust.
Chloe looked over at Roxi who was eyeing her. At her questioning gaze she quickly slapped the marble counter before retreating from the bar to head outside with her boss. She weaved in and out of the people in the dim lit room and stepped out into the cool air taking a refreshing breath and savored the clean oxygen that entered her lungs. Opening the pack of Players, she pulled out a cigarette and placed it between her lips. Stuffing the pack under her arm, she lit the end and watched it glow to life. Inhaling deeply, she closed her eyes as the nicotine worked through her bloodstream and blew out the smoke that filled her mouth.
“What’s going on with you?” Her boss asked grabbing the pack of Player’s from her arm and lighting one.
Chloe turned to look at the taller blonde woman. “Nothing. Why?”
Roxi’s vibrant blue eyes landed on Chloe, her mouth turned up at the corners not believing a word she just said. “Don’t bullshit me Chloe. I watched you snap at your last customer.” She turned and leaned against the brick building.
Chloe took in a deep breath and looked at her boss. She had met Roxi almost two years ago at a dingy restaurant she had worked at when she first moved to Rhode Island from New York. Roxi instantly offered her a job at her prestigious private club and then later rented one of her beach condos to her and Lexi at a major discount. She and Roxi became close, almost like the sister she never had but Chloe knew deep down she could never share her past with her boss…
Looking down at her smoke she replied. “I don’t know. Just uptight I guess. Half these men are cheating on their wives. It just irks me, ya know?” She shot her boss a half smile.
Roxi eyed her carefully knowing Chloe was feeding her a line but wouldn’t press the matter. “Honey, those men are Rhode Island’s elite, most rich, famous in some way or another and you can’t be bothered by what the hell they do in their personal time.” Roxi reached for the door, looking back. “Play nice.”
Chloe took another drag as she watched her boss re-enter Club Roxi. Rhode Island’s private gentlemen’s strip club for the elite only. If you wanted in, you needed a pass, no exceptions. They had everyone from judges, to famous lawyers, to bankers and actors that came solely for the discretion.
Chloe rested her head against the brick wall, closing her eyes. She inhaled a deep breath of fresh spring air. The reality of it was, even in the perfection of her camouflage here, she really hated her job, but it was her only way to fast track back to her one goal of becoming a teacher. She had already completed the first two years and still needed to collect enough money to finish the remaining two years. So in the meantime she would do what she had to do. No distractions.
Throwing the cigarette on the pavement, she squished it into the ground with her black high heel. As a light breeze swept a piece of hair in her face, she brushed the dark brown strand aside. Just a few more hours and her shift would be over she thought to herself as she retreated back inside the club.
Chapter 3
Chloe finished the dance and gently stepped down the steps, avoiding the roaming eyes that were upon her. She walked towards the bar and the smiling Lexi.
Her face was covered in a grin. “Looks like you've got an admirer…”
She held out her hand and waited for Lexi to give her a glass of lemon water. “Really, which one?”
“The dark haired hunk sitting over there. He’s very interested - he wants a private dance.” She pointed to a private booth of business men.
Chloe exhaled. “Perv?”
She laughed. “I don’t know. He’s certainly not hard to look at though - you can smell the money...”
It was Chloe’s turn to laugh. “I doubt that.”
As they were speaking she could feel gazes on her. Lexi, who knew her well, smiled.
“Yep, that's the group.” She breathed.
Chloe hid behind her long brown curtain of hair. “Which one?”
“The one on the far right.”
She glanced in their direction and let her eyes sweep over a large broad shouldered man with jet black hair. He was doing exactly the same thing to her before meeting her eyes. Their gaze held for a moment before she turned her head back. “Arrogant as hell.”
“How can you tell?”
“Trust me; after you've been doing this awhile you learn how to spot them...”
Dropping her hand down, she accepted the water that Lexi passed her and sipped it.
“When does he want the dance?”
“He asked me to set it up as soon as you were finished. Jake is getting him now.”
Chloe nodded before sighing. “Let’s do it! Tell Mike track 5 please.”
She watched Lexi speak into her tiny head mic and tell the DJ track 5.
Finishing the water, she strolled over to the outside of the private rooms. Dim lights hid them from the rest of the floor giving the area a darker, more seductive edge.
Chloe smiled at the bouncer who stood guard outside the rooms. The point was to give each individual their privacy as well as to be able to hear the dancer if she called out for help.
“Hey Jake.”
He winked and responded, “You're popular tonight.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Track 5.”
His smile grew. “That's the third time tonight. Have fun!”
They grasped hands tightly before releasing their grip. It wasn't much but such small gestures of support meant a lot.
Entering the room, she slowly stepped towards the pole in time with the music. He was sat in a chair opposite, watching her every movement. She hated to admit it but he was gorgeous! Sometimes they had the rare good looking ones but they were always married or engaged.
What really caught her attention though were his eyes. They were the lightest shade of crystal blue she had ever seen. With his dark eyelashes, it made them pop in a way she had never seen before.
She ripped her eyes away forcing herself to switch off and focused on her dance.
When she had first been introduced to pole dancing by Roxie she was instantly hooked. The cold metal of the pole was secure and safe as she spun the excited pant of her breath whenever she was performing a difficult move and the wave of victory when she did it flawlessly was addictive.
It was a safe haven, a place where she could just let go and be herself. It had taken a while to shut out the comments and the pants of aroused men at first but after a while it had become second nature to her. This time, however, was different. Usually the men would sit there and rub themselves moaning and groaning or try and reach out for a touch. He just sat there. Quietly watching.
She wanted to look into his eyes again. Not a good idea. It was always best to create a detachment when dancing - otherwise you could get sucked into their world pretty easily. But the temptation was there...
Glancing up, a shock of electricity went through her when their eyes locked. His were like a trance as he looked at her: so many emotions swirling behind his crystal blue irises.
Bad move.