A Cousin's Prayer

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  Freeman knew if he didn’t leave soon he’d say something he might regret. He hopped down from the buggy and held his hand out to her. “I’ll help you into the house, and then I need to be on my way.”

  “Do you like her more than you do me?”

  “Who?”

  “Katie, of course. Who else were we talking about?”

  Freeman grunted. “Not this again.”

  “Just answer me. Do you like her more than you do me?”

  “I’ve said this before, but apparently you need me to say it again. Katie and I are just good friends.”

  “She has a boyfriend, you know.”

  Heated radiated up the back of Freeman’s neck. Was Eunice trying to get a rise out of him? “Are you getting out of the buggy or what?”

  “Don’t you want to hear about Katie’s boyfriend?”

  “Her boyfriend’s dead.”

  “Not that boyfriend. She has a new one now.”

  “Katie’s never mentioned having a boyfriend to me.”

  “Maybe she doesn’t want anyone to know. That could be why she’s been sneaking around in the wee hours of the morning with him.”

  Freeman’s heart pounded like a trotting horse. “What are you talking about?”

  “I went out to get the newspaper early this morning, and a horse and buggy came by the front of our house. I heard talking and recognized Katie’s voice. The other person was a man, but I don’t know who it was.” Eunice leaned close to Freeman. “I smelled smoke when the buggy went past, so I’m sure that either Katie or her boyfriend was smoking.”

  “Katie doesn’t smoke.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I would have smelled it on her if she did.”

  “Then I guess her boyfriend must have been smoking.”

  Freeman grimaced. Did Katie really have a boyfriend? Was it possible that she’d been out in the fellow’s buggy? Who can it be? he wondered. Should I come right out and ask Katie who she was with this morning?

  Eunice tugged on his arm. “I’m sorry if I upset you, but I thought you had the right to know that Katie’s not the innocent girl you think her to be.”

  Anger boiled in Freeman’s chest. He’d had enough of Eunice putting Katie down! He turned to her and said, “It’s over between us, Eunice.”

  Her chin trembled, and her eyes filled with tears. “You—you can’t mean that!”

  “Jah, I do.”

  “It’s because of her, isn’t it? She’s made you think that she’s a nice girl, but she’s really—”

  “That’s enough!” Freeman shouted. “I won’t listen to another spiteful word about Katie!”

  “You’ll be sorry for breaking up with me. Someday you’ll be very sorry.” Eunice stepped down from the buggy and ran to her house.

  “Guess her ankle’s not hurtin’ quite as bad as she let on,” Freeman mumbled as he climbed into the buggy and got the horse moving again. “Maybe I’ll head over to Katie’s and see what I can find out about the fellow she was out riding with this morning.”

  ***

  Katie had just taken an aspirin for her headache and was getting ready to go upstairs to her room when a knock sounded on the back door. “I’ll get it,” she called to her folks, who were in the living room playing a game of Dutch Blitz.

  When Katie opened the door and saw Freeman on the porch, she froze. “What are you doing here? I thought you were still at the gathering.”

  “I left early after Eunice twisted her ankle.”

  Katie peered around him, into the yard. “Is Eunice with you?”

  Freeman shook his head. “I took her home.” He shuffled his feet a few times. “Came here to ask you a question.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Eunice said that she’d heard a buggy coming down the road near her house early this morning and that you and some man were in it. I ... uh ... wondered whether that was true or not.”

  Katie nodded. “It was me all right. I was giving our paperboy a ride to his grandparents’ house because the tire on his bike was flat.”

  Freeman gave his earlobe a tug. “Mind if I ask what you were doing out on the road so early?”

  “I was doing what Dr. Coleman said I should do—facing my fears.” Katie massaged her throbbing head. “I figured the easiest way to do that was to practice driving the buggy when there aren’t so many cars on the road.”

  “Guess that makes sense.” Freeman took a step closer. “Katie, I—”

  “I don’t mean to be rude, but I have a koppweh, and I’m really tired, so I need to go to bed.”

  “Sorry to hear you have a headache. I’ll let you go then.” Freeman started down the stairs but halted and turned around. “I’ll see you on Sunday, and then again on Friday for your counselor’s session.”

  “That’s okay,” Katie was quick to say. “I won’t need you to go with me next time.”

  He tipped his head. “How come?”

  “I need to start doing things on my own. Gut nacht, Freeman.” Katie hurried inside and shut the door.

  ***

  “Calm down, Eunice, and tell me why you’re crying like a wounded heifer,” Mama said as she took a seat beside Eunice on the sofa.

  “Freeman broke up with me!” Eunice hiccupped on a sob.

  “What happened?”

  “It—it’s all because of Katie. He cares more about her than he does me.” Hic! Hic!

  “What makes you think that?”

  “He’s always talking to her when he should be talking to me.” Eunice hiccuped again and wiped away her tears. “I tried telling him that Katie has a boyfriend, but he wouldn’t believe me. He never believes anything I say about Katie.”

  Mama reached for Eunice’s hand. “I know how badly you want a husband, but it was wrong for you to try to turn Freeman against Katie in order to get him for yourself.” She clucked her tongue. “I hate to say this, but you’re getting just what you deserve.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means you set yourself up for this when you spread rumors about Katie wanting to keep that boppli she found on her porch, not to mention your telling everyone that you thought Katie was pregnant. Hopefully, you’ll learn a lesson from this and will wait for your true love to come along instead of trying to force it to happen.”

  “You don’t understand how I feel,” Eunice wailed. “Don’t you even care how miserable I am?”

  “I do care, but I can’t condone your actions. It’s time for you to grow up and face the fact that you can’t always have what you want.”

  “Jah, I can! I’ll give Freeman some time to think about things, and then I’ll talk to him again. Hopefully, I can get him to change his mind about us.” Eunice pulled the quilt off the back of the sofa and draped it across her lap. “I sprained my ankle at the gathering, and it hurts too bad to walk up the stairs, so I’m sleeping here tonight!”

  CHAPTER 40

  For the next several weeks, Katie got up early every morning and took her horse and buggy out on the road. Each time, her confidence grew, and when she felt nervous or afraid, she prayed, did some deep breathing, repeated her affirmations, and talked back to the panic attacks.

  One morning, as Katie was about to pull out onto the road, she spotted Mike peddling his bike up to their paper box. “I see you’re up early again,” he said, shining his flashlight on her.

  Katie shielded her eyes from the light and nodded. “I see you got your bicycle fixed.”

  “Sure did.” He climbed off his bike, leaned it against the wooden post, and walked to her buggy. “I’ll be leaving for Florida soon. Think you might want to ride along?”

  “Are you planning to take the bus there?”

  “No way! I came by bus, but I’m goin’ back in style. Should have the money I need to buy a car by the end of next week, and I’ll leave soon after that.” He pulled a package of gum from his pocket and stuck a piece in his mouth.

  “I’d like to go,” she sa
id, “but like I said, I’d have no place to stay until I found a job.”

  “And if you’ll recall, I said you could stay with me.”

  “I couldn’t do that.”

  “Why not?”

  “It wouldn’t be proper.”

  His jaw moved up and down as he chomped on his gum. “Well, give it some thought. If you change your mind, you can leave me a note in your paper box.” Mike slapped his hands together and grinned. “See you later, Katie!”

  ***

  “Did you see any sign of Katie outside?” JoAnn asked Jeremy when he entered the kitchen after doing his chores.

  He shook his head. “She wasn’t in the barn or the yard, so she’s probably still in her room.”

  “No, she’s not. I checked there already.”

  “Guess she could be in the bathroom.”

  “I looked there, too.”

  Jeremy reached under his hat and scratched the side of his head. “That makes no sense. She’s either got to be in the house or outside somewhere. Want me to go back out and take a look around?”

  “Maybe you should.” JoAnn sighed. “You know, Katie’s been acting kind of peculiar ever since she went to that young people’s gathering at Ella’s. It makes me wonder if she’s keeping secrets from us again.”

  “What kind of secrets?”

  “I don’t know, but she’s been very quiet, and when I mentioned the other day how nice it is to have her working in the stamp shop with me, she got all teary eyed.”

  “You worry too much.” He gave her shoulders a squeeze. “You need to give Katie some space and stop mothering her so much. If she has something she wants to tell us, she’ll say it in her own good time.”

  She sighed. “That remains to be seen.”

  He turned toward the back door and was about to open it when Katie stepped in, red-faced and looking very flustered.

  “Ach, you scared me, Dad! It’s still early, and I didn’t think you were up yet.”

  “As you can see, both me and your mamm are up, and she’s been lookin’ for you.”

  Katie’s face turned crimson. “I ... I was outside.”

  “That’s obvious, since you just came inside.” JoAnn stepped up to Katie. “What were you doing outside so early?”

  Katie shifted from one foot to the other and stared at the floor.

  “I just came from the barn and you weren’t there.” Jeremy quirked an eyebrow. “Didn’t see you in the yard, either.”

  Katie lifted her gaze and pushed her shoulders back. “Guess I can’t keep it a secret any longer. For the past few weeks, I’ve been taking the horse and buggy out early every morning, before you and Mom got up.”

  “What for?” JoAnn questioned.

  “So I could practice driving the buggy.”

  Jeremy’s eyebrows furrowed. “You already know how to drive a buggy, so why would you need to practice?”

  “Dr. Coleman said the best way for me to get over my panic attacks is to face my fears and force myself to do what I’m most afraid of.”

  “That makes sense,” JoAnn said, “but why so early in the morning?”

  “Because there are fewer cars on the road, and I didn’t want you and Dad to know what I was doing.”

  “Why not?” Jeremy asked. “Didn’t you think we’d approve?”

  “It’s not that. I wanted to be sure I was getting better before I told you, and I wanted it to be a surprise.”

  “If I’d known what you were doing, I’d have offered to ride along with you,” JoAnn said.

  Katie sank into a chair at the table. “I need to make a life of my own and stop relying on you and Dad for everything. In fact, I’ve been thinking about going back to Florida.”

  “What?” JoAnn grabbed the edge of the nearest chair so hard that her fingers ached. “Where on earth did that idea come from?”

  “I ... was happier living in Florida.”

  “You weren’t happier; you were hiding from your past.” JoAnn shook her head. “And where would you stay?” JoAnn looked at Jeremy. “Tell her how narrish she’s being for thinking she should move back to Florida.”

  He took a seat across from Katie and pulled his fingers through the ends of his beard. “Your mamm’s right. Moving back to Florida would be a foolish thing for you to do.”

  “I don’t see why. I’ve saved up some money working in the stamp shop, and I’ll look for a job when I get to Sarasota.”

  “Puh!” JoAnn flopped into the chair she’d been gripping. “Jobs are hard to find these days, and you’ll be out of money in short order if you don’t find a job right away. Besides, you have a good job right here in our stamp shop, and I thought you enjoyed working there.”

  “I do, but—”

  “What about your counseling sessions?” Jeremy asked. “If you move back to Florida, you might lose all the ground you’ve gained.”

  Katie fiddled with the edge of the tablecloth. “I can practice the things Dr. Coleman suggested while I’m living in Florida just as well as I can here.”

  JoAnn reached over and clasped Katie’s hand. “What’s the reason behind this decision? Are you that unhappy living here with us? Have I said or done something to turn you against me?”

  Tears welled in Katie’s eyes and dribbled onto her cheeks. She sniffed and swiped them away. “It’s not you, Mom.”

  “Then what is it that’s driving you away?”

  “I ... I’m in love with Freeman, but he loves Eunice, and I can’t stand the thought of seeing them get married next spring.”

  JoAnn’s mouth dropped open. “Oh, Katie, I had no idea you’d fallen in love with Freeman. Are you sure he’s planning to marry Eunice?”

  Katie nodded. “Eunice told me that Freeman’s going to join the church this fall and that they’re planning a spring wedding.”

  “Have you talked to Freeman about this?” Jeremy asked.

  Katie shook her head. “I’d be too embarrassed to admit that I love him. He’s never seen me as anything more than a friend.” She reached for a napkin and dabbed at her tears. “It hurts so bad to know that he loves Eunice. She’s not a nice person and doesn’t deserve someone as kind as Freeman.”

  “That may be true, and I’m sure that it hurts, but you can’t spend the rest of your life running from things you don’t like,” JoAnn said. “I think you need to stay right here and deal with the situation.”

  Jeremy shook his head. “No she doesn’t, JoAnn. If Katie can’t stand the thought of seeing Freeman and Eunice together, then we need to support her decision to move.” He touched Katie’s arm. “My cousin Clarence and his wife, Mae, will be moving to Sarasota, probably next month. Would you like me to ask if they’d be willing to let you stay with them until you find a job and are able to rent a small place of your own?”

  “Would you really do that for me?” Katie asked with a hopeful expression.

  “Wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t willing.”

  JoAnn stood up and pushed her chair aside so quickly that it toppled to the floor. “I can’t go along with this! Katie’s place is here with us, plain and simple!”

  CHAPTER 41

  “Sell kann ich mir gaar net eibilde!” Katie’s dad said as he stared at the newspaper.

  “You can’t conceive of what?” Mom asked, peering over his shoulder.

  “The young English man who delivers our paper every morning was arrested for robbing a convenience store in Goshen. Guess he told the sheriff he needed the money to buy a new car.” Dad slowly shook his head. “The fellow had a gun and threatened the store clerk with it, but then another customer came in, saw what was happening, and called for help.”

  “That’s too bad. When a young person does something like that, it hurts not only him but his whole family.” Mom clicked her tongue as though she were scolding someone. “Sure wish we could read some positive news in the paper once in a while. It’s depressing to hear so many negative things, and it makes me sad to know that there’s so much c
rime and corruption in our world.”

  Katie cringed. She was glad she hadn’t taken Mike up on his offer to ride with him to Sarasota. He was obviously not as nice as he seemed to be. It was better that she’d be traveling with Dad’s cousin and his wife.

  Mom still wasn’t in favor of Katie moving back to Florida, but at least she’d stopped hounding her about it. Since Clarence and Mae wouldn’t be moving for another month, that gave Katie plenty of time to get ready to go. She would need to tell Loraine and Ella, too. She just wasn’t sure what to do about saying goodbye to Freeman.

  Mom touched Katie’s arm. “Will Freeman be going to your counseling session with you again today?” she asked, pulling Katie’s thoughts aside.

  “I’ll be going by myself from now on,” Katie said. “It’s better that’s way.”

  “Would you like me to go with you?”

  Katie shook her head. “If I’m going to move back to Florida, I’ll have to learn to go places and do things on my own.”

  Mom opened her mouth as if she might say something more, but she closed it again and reached for her cup of coffee.

  Dad looked over at Katie and winked. At least he understood why she needed to move.

  ***

  “Are you sure you have time to trim the trees in our yard this morning?” Fern asked Freeman during breakfast.

  Freeman bobbed his head. “I’m caught up on things in my shop, so this is as good a time as any to get the trimming done.”

  She smiled. “If you can get started before I leave for school, I’ll hold the ladder for you.”

  “That’s okay,” he said with a shake of his head. “I’ll make sure the ladder’s secure.”

  “Even so, I’d feel better if someone was here to help.”

  Freeman clenched his teeth. “I’m not a boppli, Fern, so stop treating me like one.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Jah, you are.” He reached for a piece of toast. “Sometimes I think you just like telling me what to do.”

  “I do not! I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”