Alisiyad

by Sarah R. Suleski

  “I . . . didn’t see anything.” Liseli backed away, then turned and looked up at the trees in the grove. They were almost like walls — no, bars. She turned around again and stared at Russ. He said nothing. You don’t want to know what he’s talking about. “What are you talking about?”

  “The . . . the light.” Russ wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. They looked bloodshot, but they’d been red before . . . . “And the edge, the road . . . and . . . I don’t know!” He waved his hands again. “All that stuff.” He sniffed.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Liseli shook her head. “But something’s happened. I don’t know . . . where we are.” She hugged herself, nervously, staring up at the mountains. They kept drawing her eyes, so huge and foreign in the distance. She wanted to hide from them; inch behind a tree in the grove. But she was afraid to move, now. She didn’t know what Russ was mumbling about.

  Russ moved. He turned and stared a little closer at everything around them, curiously. She didn’t know why he didn’t look surprised, shocked, scared. Something. He was just looking. “It’s not bad,” he said after a moment, and she thought she’d misheard him.

  “What?”

  “I think it’s okay,” he said, less sure, darting a glance toward her and shrugging. “I mean . . . I dunno.”

  “But where are we?”

  He shrugged again.

  She started to feel impatient. “Russ—”

  “Well, lemme look around,” he said. She wondered if he understood how wrong everything was. Maybe it was a concussion. They were really standing outside the Mill and he didn’t know why she thought it was wrong. Wait for a minute, her vision would clear. Then she’s say “nevermind” and . . . uh oh. He’d started to head up the slope. The idiot. She had to stop him before . . . something else . . . happened. But instead she just watched, wondering if something would really happen to him.

  He stopped at the top of the slope and paused, then looked back down. “It looks okay,” he called.

  “What do you see?”

  “Trees and stuff.” He shrugged.

  “Stuff?”

  “Grass. Hills. Those mountains.”

  “What about . . . what about the road?” she ventured.

  “Which one?”

  “Mill Road

  !”

  “No roads. Come see for yourself.”

  Liseli considered it for a moment, and came out of the grove, but then she stopped, shaking her head. “No, come back down here.” It didn’t seem wise to be walking around like the world could be counted on to remain under their feet.

  “But—”

  “Just get back here, now.” She pointed at the ground in front of her. He obeyed, looking reluctant. “What are you thinking?” she asked. “You don’t just go ‘exploring’. Don’t you realize . . . it’s . . . it’s . . . what makes you think it’s ‘okay’ now?”

  He avoided eye contact, rubbing the back of his neck as he shrugged. “Doesn’t hurt, I guess.”

  “Doesn’t hurt?” She felt like shaking some alarm into him. Instead she just lifted her hands and said, “Am I the only one bothered by this? A moment ago you were gonna be sick, now you’re running around like nothing’s the matter!”

  “It’s not as bad.” Russ edged away as her voice rose. “The road was bad, this isn’t. And I’m not running.”

  “It is bad! It’s . . . .” She paused. Well, it wasn’t really bad, it was . . . wrong. Liseli turned away from him, shaking her head. The air was clear and the colors were vivid, the blue sky and the greens around her. It felt solid, not surreal anymore, and she started to feel a little calmer despite herself. Nothing was dropping out from under her feet. It made no sense, but maybe . . . maybe . . . . A thought occurred to her, and she looked up at the mountains in relief.

  “Oh, of course. This isn’t really happening. I’m not here, you’re not here, this is just a dream.” She smiled. “Why didn’t I think of it before? It’s the only explanation. Good. Maybe this whole morning’s been just one long bad dream.”

  “Ah . . . I don’t think so,” Russ replied.

  “Why not?” She swung around and glared at him. But now, he’s not really there, that’s all part of the dream. So no need to get angry. She took a breath. Ah. Liseli felt the need to move, to keep these positive thoughts flowing, so she started to pace.

  “Come on.” Russ smiled a little wryly. “Would I really be in your dream?”

  “Of course! You’re in my dreams a lot!”

  “What?”

  She stumbled and blushed. “I mean, my, uh, nightmares.”

  He was silent for a moment, dwelling on that information. “Your nightmares?” he repeated, his voice cracking again.

  “Yeah. So this could very well be a dream, and most likely is.” She nodded, calmly.

  He darted a glance at the mountains, as if to make sure they hadn’t slipped away. “But we can’t be having the same dream . . . can we?”

  She started to pace again. “That’s right. If you’re having your own thoughts, you’re not just a figment of my imagination, but I know that I’m not a figment of your imagination, because I’m having thoughts . . . . But, of course, I don’t know if you really are having thoughts, because what you’re saying could be just from my imagination, too!”

  “But I know I’m not your imagination,” he objected.

  “Yeah, yeah . . . but do you know that I’m not part of your imagination?”

  “Liseli . . . .”

  “One of us is just in the other’s imagination, and there’s no way of knowing, in either case, if the other person is real!” she declared, jabbing at the air with her finger, in triumph.

  Russ shook his head. “I . . . uh . . . I dunno. I don’t think we’d be having this conversation in one of my dreams.”

  There was silence, broken only the rattle and sniff of his breathing.

  “Oh God,” Liseli sucked in a disappointed breath. He was probably right, damn him. Well, no . . . . And you can’t flip out, no. Something will make sense eventually; it has to . . . . If this was the real live Russ, she couldn’t let him see her lose it over and over again. If he thought it wasn’t so bad, she would not be the paranoid one. Composure. Manage the situation . . . she clenched her fists.

  “We have to get back,” she stated. “That grove of trees is where we walked out of the Mill. We have to walk back into the trees, back to the Mill.”

  “You’ve already done that.”

  She waved her hands impatiently, “Yeah, I tried it. We didn’t. You walked out of the Mill, you walk back in.” She stepped aside. “Okay?”

  “It’s not gonna work,” Russ protested. “I mean, the edge is gone, there’s nothing there.”

  “Do it, Russell,” she pointed, but lowered her hand when she saw it shaking a little.

  “Li—”

  “Do it!”

  He shook his head, but walked past her toward the grove. Liseli got behind him and fixed her eyes on his jacket, hoping to pass under the trees and find herself in the gray interior of the Mill. But it didn’t happen. Russ stopped and turned around, and they were still standing in the copse.

  “Ooookay . . . . Walk back out again,” she said with forced calmness. He sighed, but did as told. They emerged into the same field at the base of the hill, looking at the same distant mountains in the sunshine.

  “I told you,” he said, “it’s gone now. Sorry.”

  “This can’t be happening!” Liseli swung her foot in a half stomp, half kick. “No!”

  Russ turned around to look at her, again. “Calm down,” he said. “It’s gonna be alright.”

  “What? How can you say that? Look around! We don’t know where the hell we are, or how we got here!”

  “Yeah, I know all that.” He sighed, wiping his hair away from his forehead, as he looked off into the distance. “But . . . you know, didn’t you ask me — at the Burger House — if I ever wanted to run away . . . find so
mething different?”

  “I don’t even remember what I said at the Burger House, I was flipping out, then,” Liseli muttered. As if you’re not, now . . . .

  “Well, you said that.” He paused, but when she didn’t respond, he shrugged. “I just thought maybe you wanted something like that. This. It’s different.”

  “Okay, no, this is not what I wanted.” Liseli shook her head. “I did not want to be stranded in the middle of who-knows-where, alone with you.”

  “Hey! I’m not a monster!” he protested. “I . . . I don’t know what happens in your nightmares, but I’m not going to do anything to hurt you, so—”

  “I wasn’t even thinking about anything like that,” she said coolly, tilting her chin in the air.

  “Fine.” He fixed his gaze on the ground.

  “Listen, my point was that I didn’t plan for this, and I don’t even know what ‘this’ place is, and that’s not a good thing,” Liseli explained, waving her hands. “I don’t know what this ‘road’ and ‘edge’ is that you keep going on about, and I don’t know what else is gonna happen next, so I don’t think it’s ‘okay’, okay?” She stopped and took a shaky breath.

  He closed his eyes, but then opened them again and said, “Listen. All I know, is that we’re here now, wherever here is and however we got here. So what are we gonna do, since walking in and out of the trees isn’t working?”

  She bit her lip, and squinted around. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “If we leave here, looking for people, we might get lost . . . and the way back has to be here, right?”

  He shrugged.

  “Well? You have any bright ideas?” Liseli asked in exasperation.

  “I think . . . ” he stated, but drifted off into silence. “I think,” he tried again, “we should find water.”

  “I’m not thirsty.”

  “Well, I am.”

  Liseli wavered. He was right; they would need water to drink and food to eat if they were going to be stranded here indefinitely. Yet that still wasn’t going to help them get back. If getting back was even possible. Which it *is, she insisted.

  Russ surprised her by turning around, before she voiced any decision. “Come on,” he said, “I have to drink something.”

  He paused for a sudden, violent cough, and she remembered his cold. Great, she thought. Sickness and dehydration. Just great. Russ began to walk away, back up the hill. She caught up with him. “Are you gonna be alright?”

  “Yeah, I just need some water,” he said. “Then we can try to figure out what’s going on.”

  Liseli looked over her shoulder at the grove of trees, trying to memorize the unfamiliar landscape so that she could find the place again. “Yeah . . . yeah sure. Okay,” she choked out the words. “Let’s go.”

  Chapter 4 ~ The Child

  The sun hung at its peak as they set out into the wilderness; a warm, enveloping May sunshine which would have been pleasant under any other circumstance. But now it felt hot as they trudged along in an awkward silence, looking around at the hilly fields and clumps of trees, but not at each other. At least, not at the same time.

  Liseli continued to walk behind Russ. Not that she was afraid of what was ahead. No. Not at all. Of course not. And if she had been, she wouldn’t be hanging behind Russ, because . . . well . . . well, he wanted to be out front, anyway, running up the hill like there was nothing the matter. She shook her head, regrouping her thoughts. Where does he think he’s heading, anyway? There’s got to be some better way to go about this; some way to read the landscape and figure out the most likely place to find water. But she could not think of one. Wilderness survival had never been one of the most important issues in her life.

  Their current path led them toward the mountains. The distant peaks stood out on the horizon, like arrows pointing to the sky. Snow frosted the tops, and clouds wreathed them like puffs of whipped cream topping a chocolate dessert. Which I could really go for right about now . . . . She smiled briefly. Well, the mountains are as good a place to head for as any.

  Liseli listened to the pattern of Russ’s breathing — a hungry suck at oxygen, a cough, a sniff and a weak exhale, a gurgled attempt at clearing his throat, a few wheezing intakes and sighing expirations. He would catch his breath for a few steps, but it would clog again, and he’d choke again. She should be doing something about it . . . but what? It was his cold, not hers to deal with. She shook her head and didn’t say anything, fixing her gaze on all other things around her.

  Except for Russ it was quiet and still, and she wondered if that meant anything. Birds chirped and insects made their lazy buzzing noises, but something was missing. She realized, after a while, that it was the hum of traffic. There were no roads and no cars in sight or sound. Empty, peaceful, as if they were in a big bubble, everything slow and measured inside. White trillium grew in abundance in the shaded areas, and she thought, It’s really quite nice here, whatever here is. Lots of flowers . . . pretty flowers . . . and quiet, so quiet . . . .

  Liseli shook her head again, and looked back at Russ walking with his head down. She thought she should strike up a conversation just to keep her mind from wandering. But no . . . she couldn’t talk to Russ. She didn’t know what to say.

  Russ’s pockets were stuffed with napkins from the Burger House — he had taken a handful to use while working and now he counted them, wondering if they would last until they found some form of civilization. If not, he’d have to use his sleeve, which he knew well enough would annoy Liseli. Five napkins. He’d have to limit himself to wiping or blowing his nose only when absolutely necessary. He listened to her walking behind and to the left of him. He knew she must not like the sounds he made, but when he tried to be more quiet it only seemed to make things worse.

  The sun inched toward the west, unwavering in intensity. He was very thirsty now, and still no water in sight. Had they just passed by and not noticed? If so, Russ felt that it was his fault because he was leading the way, though he sure as hell didn’t know how that happened. He could feel her stalking behind him. He couldn’t stop without her criticizing him for not knowing what he was doing. Why didn’t she just take the lead? He knew she wanted to, she was the manager, after all. She must be staying behind just to . . . to get back at me for . . . something.

  Soon it was all he could think about — his need for a rest and some water, to just collapse on the ground and shut his eyes, versus his inability to stop and admit that he couldn’t go on. He was barely aware of his surroundings anymore, save for Liseli’s steady stride behind him.

  “Look!” Liseli reached out and seized his arm, yanking him to a stop. “There, water, I think.” She dropped his arm like a dead thing and trotted forward through a heavy growth of clover, toward a narrow furrow in the ground by a line of trees bordering the field.

  It was an anemic little creek, crowded by long grass and weeds, but it looked clean. The hour or so of walking had made Liseli thirsty as well, and she cupped her hand under the slight flow, then lifted it to her mouth and drank. Russ crouched down next to her and followed suit. The water was lukewarm, but after their hike it seemed cold and refreshing. Russ splashed some on his hot, numb face. He sat back on his heels and shook damp hair from his eyes, but suddenly felt a wave of dizziness. The next thing he knew he was lying on his side on the ground.

  “What are you doing?”

  Russ rolled back up into a sitting position and muttered, “Lost my balance.”

  Liseli frowned, and he lowered his head, fixing his gaze on the half flattened grass blades poking out underneath his hand. His mouth was still dry despite the water, and he started to think about drinking some more.

  He was still staring at his hand, thinking about moving somewhere, when Liseli’s voice cut back in: “Are you tired? Do you want to rest here?”

  He looked up at her. She was still frowning. “Russ? Hello?”

  “I’m sorry . . . um, what?”

  “Do you need a rest?” she said, pronouncing
each word slow and distinct.

  He shook his head, keeping himself steady with his hands flat against the ground. “I’m fine.”

  Suddenly, she was kneeling next to him, her shadow falling over him. He looked up in surprise, and froze. Her expression was business-like, but his pulse quickened as she brushed aside the hair from his forehead and laid her palm against his skin. After a moment she removed it. “You’re burning up,” she said, pressing her hands together. “I think you’re running a fever.”

  “Just a little.”

  She shook her head. “You feel like an overdone burger patty.” She stood up and paced a few steps away, stopping to survey the landscape. “We should really be moving on. We need to find . . . something . . . before it gets dark. And I’m starting to get hungry . . . .” She looked over her shoulder at him — he hadn’t moved.

  “Right,” he replied.

  “But you’re not going anywhere like that. Why didn’t you say something?”

  “Why?”

  “You’re sick, you should have said something before collapsing.”

  “I didn’t collapse.”

  “Yes, you did, you fell down right after taking a drink. After walking all that way like your heels were on fire — you’re not supposed to overdo stuff when you’re sick.” Liseli crossed her arms. “Now you can’t even get up from the ground. I’m no nurse; I don’t know what to do with a feverish person in the middle of nowhere. I don’t know how we’re supposed to find any help, now. That was . . . Russ!”

  “What?”

  “Are you listening to me?”

  He thought for a moment. “No,” he decided, “what was the last thing you said? I mean, before . . . .”

  “Go to sleep,” she snapped. “Rest for . . . for half an hour. Then we have to keep going. You think you’ll be able to get up after a half hour?”

  “I can get up now.” He struggled to his knees. He felt a wave of nausea, then Liseli’s hands on his shoulders. She pushed him back to the ground and ordered him, in her severest managerial tone, to sleep there.