by Amie Knight
Laughing, I grabbed her hand. “Come on. I want to give you a present for your birthday. But I can’t do it in here. It’s too loud.”
With a confused face, she said, “What? I can’t hear you?”
Louder, I said, “That’s the problem. Come outside for a minute.” I motioned to the front door of Taps with my free hand.
Once she understood what I wanted her to do, she followed me outside and I dragged her behind me all the way to the side of the bar where we were alone.
“What are we doing out here?” She took a big pull of her drink and I realized I better give her the gift now before all her partying caught up with her.
“There’s something I want to give you for your birthday.” I slid my hand into my jacket pocket.
She pursed her lips. “Something you wanna give me, huh?” She giggled. “I’m not sure I want what so many others are rumored to have.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed. No one had had that. Not a damn person, but for some reason I’d felt the need to make Scarlett and Hazel believe that I wasn’t some loser waiting around on them. It had been a stupid mistake on my part because now Hazel thought I was a man whore. And I couldn’t help the fake rumors girls spread about me. And it was a small town. There wasn’t anything that everyone didn’t know. “That’s not what I want to give you, brat.”
I brought out the small box that Scarlett had helped me wrap in pink and put a white bow on. She hadn’t pressed me about what was in it, thank goodness. This was between Hazel and me. Scarlett was good at respecting boundaries.
Hazel’s eyes lit up and her cheeks turned a pretty pink. “You didn’t have to get me anything, Winnie.” So she said, but she looked beyond pleased.
I placed the gift in her hand, with sweat on my forehead and trembling hands. She passed me her drink so she could open it. I was hoping to hell this thoughtful gift didn’t backfire on me.
Before opening it, she looked at the gift and then back at me several times. Finally, she tucked her nail under the tape at the bottom of the present, so careful not to rip the pretty paper. She unwrapped it slowly while my heart beat wildly in my chest. Handing me the still perfect wrapping paper, she lifted the lid on the small burgundy box.
Time seemed to stand still in those seconds. A big whoosh of air left her lungs as her smile fell and she stared at what was inside the box. When I’d seen the bracelet, it had reminded me of the night in my room when she’d locked herself in the bathroom. But not the bad parts. The part where we played tic-tac-toe all night long. She stared some more before I saw a hint of wetness in her eyes.
Fuck. I’d fucked up. She was upset. She looked like she was going to cry. I’d ruined her birthday. This was not how you got the girl.
Suddenly, I was hit with a warm body right at the front of me, long arms around my neck, sweet smelling vanilla in my nose. Jesus, was she going to cry on me? Had I broken her?
“This is the best birthday present ever. I love it so much,” she murmured into my neck and I breathed a sigh of relief. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, too, but instead I was worried about the drink and wrapping paper I was holding in my hands between our bodies. A drink I could feel trickling down the front of my shirt.
She leaned up and placed a kiss on my cheek that may as well have been a full-on body rub because I felt it everywhere. That was what this crazy girl did to me.
When she finally leaned away and stood on her feet, I noticed the front of both of our shirts were wet.
“Shit, we got the front of your shirt.”
She waved me off. “It’s okay. Help me put on my bracelet.” She started pulling the gold bracelet out of the box. She undid it while I set her drink and wrapping paper on the ground. I wiped the Malibu Bay Breeze off my hand on the dry part of my shirt and grabbed the bracelet from her while she held out her arm.
I clasped it around her wrist as delicately as I could before I ran my fingers over the little X and O charms that dangled from it. When I’d picked it out for her, I wasn’t sure if she would hate it or love it. But Xs and Os were kind of our thing. And they’d come to mean a hell of a lot to me.
She pulled her arm up in front of her face, admiring it. “God, it’s so beautiful. I love it.” She dropped her arm and enveloped me in a hug again. After squeezing me hard, she pulled away and placed her palms on each side of my face. “It means so much to me, Winnie.”
All of that love and affection shining from her face should have made me feel like the fucking man, but all it did was make me want to kiss the shit out of her and I couldn’t do that because I knew she would freak the hell out.
A longing I’d never experienced in my life seared me to my core. God, I wanted her and not just for a fucking night. I wanted her forever.
I could have leaned over and just pressed my lips to hers, but instead I covered her hands with my own so we were both holding my face. “I got you all wet, birthday girl.”
Her head fell back and loud laughter echoed around us. “The older you get the dirtier you are, Oliver.”
I gave my eyebrows a waggle that made her laugh harder. “Come on, I have a sweatshirt in my car you can borrow.”
I pulled her hand toward the parking lot, but she let go and bent over. “Wait, I have to get my wrapping paper.”
I shook my head. “Okay, crazy.” She grabbed her pink paper and her drink, juggling all the things in her hands while we walked to my car.
Once there, I grabbed a Nike hoodie out of the front seat I’d had on earlier. “Here you go.” She laid all her stuff on the hood and climbed into my car.
I’d thought that maybe she was just going to throw the hoodie on over her damp shirt but nope. Oh, God. Nope. It looked like she was taking off her shirt and replacing it with my hoodie.
I turned around quickly so I didn’t look and then I was pissed at myself for doing that because I really wanted to fucking see. So much.
“All done.” I heard from behind and I turned around to see her wearing my blue hoodie. I loved when she dressed up a bit, but this was my favorite version of Hazel. Her just being her.
I walked slowly up to her and grabbed the cuffs of her too long sleeves, pulling her to me before taking one and beginning to roll it. “I like you like this.”
She batted her eyelashes up at me with a smirk while I rolled the other sleeve. “Me in your clothes?”
God, she was playing with fire tonight. Because fuck yes, I liked her in my clothes and I’d like her even more naked, but I didn’t say that. I said what I’d originally been thinking. “You in a sweatshirt just being you. It’s one of my favorite things in the world.” I reached around her neck with both hands and straightened her hood on the back of the sweatshirt.
She reached up, grabbing my hands from around her neck, and pulled them down between us, holding on. Her brown eyes landed on mine, years of friendship blazing from them. “You’re one of my favorite things in the world, too, Oliver.”
Fuck, she shouldn’t have looked at me like that. I was going in. I had to. I couldn’t not. The moment was too damn perfect and her lips were begging for me.
“What are y’all doing out here?” Scarlett yelled from across the parking lot and we sprang apart like we’d done something wrong. When really we hadn’t had the chance to do anything at all, damn it. I didn’t know whether to thank Scarlett or strangle her.
Hazel gave me a secret smile before shoving her pink wrapping paper and bracelet box into the front of her sweatshirt. She then grabbed her drink and turned to Scarlett. “I spilled some drink on my shirt and Oliver had an extra shirt in his car!” She and I started walking toward Scarlett.
I watched as she smoothed down one of her cuffs until it covered the bracelet I’d just given her. I didn’t mind. I liked it there, hidden, just for us. Like so many of our memories, like our relationship itself, it wasn’t something we talked about or shared with others. It was just for us. It was part of what made us special.
I was sitting on the
porch, staring out at the half-built greenhouse while the sun came over our backyard and I hadn’t even been asleep yet. I’d have to be at work in two hours to open the store. But I couldn’t think about that now. Maybe I’d call in sick and see if the owner could cover for me?
I shook my head. No. I couldn’t do that. I never called in sick. I didn’t call in sick when my mother showed up at my house unannounced and I’d gotten drunk and then had hot video phone sex with Gray Wolfe. AKA Oliver. Yep, the one and only Winnie. I’d phone fucked my best friend’s brother. Fuck. My. Life.
He was to blame for my sleepless night. I rubbed the tiredness from my eyes and promised myself I wasn’t going to go over to his house and cut him. And Scarlett? How was I going to explain this all to her because I was one hundred percent positive that she had absolutely no idea that this had been going on. She would kill him and that thought made me feel slightly better.
I sat there stewing, planning Oliver’s death, as the night before ran through my head on repeat like it had all night and morning long.
I came into my room after a long day of work and short dinner with Pops and Amor. After showering, I sat down at my desk and turned my PC on. I noticed a few bugs were reported in Hadrian’s Wall, so I worked on those for a bit before I noticed that Drew, a fourteen-year-old boy who was at Level Up almost as much as I was, was playing, too. So I jumped over to my message box and said hi and joined him for a bit in building a fortress to keep “The Dead Ones” also known as zombies from passing the wall.
I was about thirty minutes into play when I saw that my good ole phone sex friend Gray Wolfe had logged onto the game. I felt myself blush from the top of my head to the tip of my toes and I hated myself for it. I hated what this man was doing to me. But I was also having a hell of a lot of fun being vulnerable with a man. I normally didn’t put myself out there like that. But he’d always made me want to break the rules from the minute we’d met.
As patiently as I could, I continued to build a fortress and chatted with Drew in the group chat, but really I was waiting on Gray to slip into my DMs like he did most nights.
Gray Wolfe: Good evening, Hazeyeyes.
Hazeyeyes was always my name in whatever game I played. Hazel was one of the few things I really liked about myself. It wasn’t ordinary or plain. I didn’t know anyone else with the name, so I always used it in games. Hazeyeyes was a kick-ass elf who could wield a sword like nobody’s business. And I made sure she had eyes that were big and beautiful and as grand as her pointed ears. The color of Winnie’s. Hazel.
I felt the round parts of my cheeks heat at the mere sight of him messaging me. The things we had done the other night had been so dirty and while I wasn’t a virgin, I didn’t sleep around willy-nilly, but I was a girl who liked to have fun, no strings attached. I was definitely feeling more attached to Gray than I should. But at this point, it felt like I was in too deep to stop.
Me: What’s up, Gray?
I was playing it cool. I wasn’t excited to see him. This was just a regular night playing a regular game with regular people. And I wasn’t at all thinking about his beautiful bronzed torso and his glorious cock coming all over his sheets. Not even a little bit. I fanned myself with one hand because it was getting a little warm in here.
Gray Wolfe: Long day. How was your day?
Me: Long, too.
I hadn’t told anyone about my mom coming back. It just felt like too much. I realized I probably should have confided in Scarlett, but right now I was just sitting on the information for a bit. I needed time. I’d tell Scarlett soon.
We jumped into the game, gabbing with each other occasionally, but when I played Hadrian’s Wall, I liked to really play and I needed the escape from real life tonight. I guessed that was why I loved video games so much. They’d taken me away from a life I didn’t want to live at one point. And they still served as a great escape for me when I was having a rough day.
While Gray and I helped Drew work on his fortress, we were attacked by a clan of wild hogs. I smiled when they approached us in the game and marveled at how cool the Pig-human clan looked. They were a character you could pick in the game and they rocked.
Drew jumped in first and started attacking, protecting his fortress from being taken over, and I jumped in behind him, determined to help, and I was always up for a good fight anyway.
Gray hopped into the foray, but the truth was he wasn’t as good at the game as Drew and I were. He was newer and less honed in his skills. I was willing to bet he didn’t play as many PC games as Drew and I did.
So, when I saw Gray Wolfe getting smashed and his life bar was getting low, I jumped in and gave him a potion of health that would restore his life and I kicked the pig people’s ass and chased them off.
I was smiling my face off when it was all said and done and noticed that Gray had just sent me a private DM
Gray Wolfe: You’ve always been a gaming hog brat, Hazel Jones.
I stared at that text over and over, trying to understand, but I already completely did. I just didn’t want to understand it. Oliver had outed himself. My mouth filled with saliva and I felt sick to my stomach. What had I done? What had we done? This was terrible.
Gray Wolfe: Shit. Hazel. I’m sorry. God.
And then he was gone. Logged off. I sat there staring at the screen like maybe I’d read something wrong. Praying I was wrong. And he’d just logged off, without even so much as a goodbye. Winnie wouldn’t do that. Everything just felt so fucked up and wrong, and I realized very quickly in that moment that things were never ever going to be the same between us. And it crushed me.
I spent the next two hours trying to text Oliver at his real number and whatever fake number he’d added to his phone as Gray Wolfe. He didn’t respond to either and it fucked me up badly. Oliver had never in his life not for one day even not messaged me back if I messaged him. Was our friendship over?
The memory of last night was still so fresh that it stung more than I cared to admit. I had a feeling it would sting for a long while. When the sun finally came up fully over the trees, I took a shower and took my ass to work, knowing what I had to do when it was over. If he wasn’t going to come to me, then I was going to have to go to him.
I spent most of the day keeping as busy as I could, going so far as to even take the games off the shelves and dust. Anything to keep myself from thinking too much, so I wouldn’t have to face the clusterfuck that was actually my life at the moment.
The drive over to the stadium that evening had seemed too long. Thoughts flitted through my mind like they were on fast forward and by the time I arrived I was a mess of jumbled emotions. And as I walked down the steps of the stadium, I kept my eyes on number eleven. He was out on the field when I arrived, running plays that didn’t look all that clean. In fact, I’d seen him drop the ball twice in the ten minutes I’d been here. Looked like he was having an off night, too.
I watched him march over to the sidelines looking like he wanted to murder someone and when our eyes met across the distance, he paused, shocked. There wasn’t any cute wave or wink. It was like Oliver and I were strangers and that scared the shit out of me.
There was a gaggle of blondes sitting a little farther to the right than I was on the bleachers. They giggled too loud and were too damn happy. I thought maybe they were football groupies and I felt my stomach turn. I couldn’t deal with that shit tonight, too. Not fucking tonight.
I sat at the bottom of the bleachers watching the practice, but my eyes were mostly on Oliver. He’d tricked me. He’d made me like Gray Wolfe. He’d made a fool of me. I wondered if this was some sort of game to him and a little fissure formed in my already cold, cold, broken heart.
I really hoped this hadn’t been meant to make fun of me. To hurt me. But how the hell would I know because since the minute he’d outed himself he totally fucking disappeared.
I stared at the field in front of me. Tonight I didn’t notice Oliver’s delectable ass. Tonight I wanted to k
ick his ass, so I sat there, glaring at him when he was brave enough to look my way.
When the players finally started exiting the field and headed for the locker rooms, I took my time walking over, thinking maybe Oliver would come over to me and speak to me like a man.
Boy was I fucking wrong, because the bastard took off for the locker rooms like his ass was on fire. He was intercepted by the blond brigade and they crowded around him, touching his hair and his face like they knew him. Rubbing his biceps like they owned him. I wanted to scream at them that they didn’t know him like I did. That those biceps may as well have been mine because they’d held me more than anyone had ever held me. More than my mother. Definitely more than my father. I’d seen this in the past and it had always stung, no matter how I tried to fight my feelings, but today it burned like wildfire in my veins. I wanted to snatch all these chicks away from him immediately. But Oliver had never been mine. Not for a second. And especially not right then.
He fanned them away. I’d seen him do that plenty of times, too—make a smooth exit. He grinned and waved and all the girls looked like they were going to faint at how adorable he was. I ground my teeth until they hurt. He ran for the locker room and left me standing there. That was fine. I was still going to talk to his ass. He wasn’t going to get rid of me by running to a room with a bunch of naked football players. No siree Bob. I had no problem having this talk in front of them. I was thinking that he might want to avoid that, but since he clearly didn’t, we were doing this thing.
I waltzed past all the silly girls and into the smelly room like I owned the joint. I was good at this. Pops had been preparing me for this shit my whole life. I’d been dragging his ass out of bars in the middle of the night since I’d been sixteen. If Oliver thought he was going to intimidate me with a bunch of stinky, half-naked men, he had another thing coming.