by Carnal, MJ
Beaver was hired a couple of months after I started working at The Hole. There had been a customer that was frequently coming in during my shifts. One night he got a little too grabby, and Ed had to come at him with a bat. The next night Beaver showed up, and since then he’s been here every night I worked. Fine with me. Beaver was a big boy. Nobody messed with him.
Well, not unless you included Mel. She has had a thing for him since he first stepped foot in the bar. I swear her accent would get thicker and she would bat those blonde lashes when she saw him. She didn’t have to do much - Beaver definitely noticed. The thing I didn’t get, though, was that she didn’t think she could have him. He was closer to my age and Mel thought he wouldn’t want a divorced, ‘used’ woman. I told her she was full of shit and he would be hers if she just said the word. There would be no intervening for a set-up by me, though. I had too many of my own issues to get in the middle of theirs, and I don’t want to get close enough for them to start asking unwanted questions. I told them just enough to know about me and left it at that. For the time being, it seemed to have pacified them.
My life was constant. Sunday through Saturday it never changed. I was content. Not happy, but content.
There was buzz about The Hole having a small celebration for my twenty-first birthday. I didn’t want the unnecessary attention, but if Ed insisted we honor the fact that I was now legally allowed to work for him, then I’d placate him.
I was busy putting away a shipment of beer when Mel came skipping towards me.
“Oh, birthday girl!” She said in a sing song voice. “Your uncle is here and wants to see you.”
I looked over my shoulder from inside the walk-in refrigerator and smiled. “Thanks, tell him I’ll be out in just a minute.”
“Okay.”
She stood there a second longer, her face serious. “You need something else?” I asked.
“Do you think Beaver would give me your birthday spankings if I asked?”
I snorted. “If he tries to give me any sort of spankings, I’ll take Ed’s bat to his head.”
She looked dreamy and sighed. “I bet he has a nice firm palm. Have you seen the size of his hands?”
I could do nothing but stare at her.
“What?” She asked me.
“You need to get laid, girl.” I threw a towel over my shoulder and made my way to the front of the bar.
When I walked out I saw Uncle Roger and Slim standing next to Beaver, and greeted them both with hugs. We spoke for a few minutes, laughing at the things Beaver said, when Slim gestured toward a guy that was standing behind me that I hadn’t noticed before. I turned to acknowledge him and got the shock of a lifetime. All of the synapses in my brain stopped firing as I stood there, blinking rapidly, trying to see if my eyes were playing a trick on me. Surely the man in front of me wasn’t who I thought it was. Timber Nelson. Timber…Timber…Timber…Timber Nelson. What the fuck?
It occurred to me that he was speaking. Why couldn’t I hear him?
I felt like my body had been transported back six years ago. My hand rose to push my glasses up the bridge of my nose before I stopped myself. I don’t wear glasses anymore. Why was he here? I was pretty sure Slim just told me, but I wasn’t listening.
My ears felt like they were stuffed with cotton. My heart was pounding so hard that the only thing I could hear was the sound of my blood whooshing. Needing to get away, I said a quick hello, acted as if I had no idea who he was and raced to the back. Stepping into the fridge, I leaned my back against the cold metal wall and slid down until my butt hit the even colder ground. My knees were drawn up and I put my head between them. Deep breaths, Kat.
Why, why would he be here? Did Adam send him? Did he know what happened to me? He must know. This town was too small for this to have been a coincidence. Nobody just showed up in Port O’Connor without having a purpose. Granted, I wandered into this town without one, but my uncle lived here, so that was my excuse. What’s his?
Deep breaths, Kat.
Wait… he didn’t recognize me. Nothing in his eyes screamed recognition. They were blank. He had held his hand out for me to shake as if he were meeting a complete stranger. I was pretty sure he didn’t know who I was. Had I changed that much? Or maybe I hadn’t made that much of an impression on him six years ago. That last thought made my heart hurt for the briefest of moments.
I’d never told a soul that I had the smallest, useless, and most insignificant of crushes all those years ago on the very man that was now standing in my bar. Those feelings all disappeared the day he watched as Adam threw a ball at my back. As I continued to sit there, replaying that day in my head, I rode out wave after wave of panic that rose in my chest. When I was finally calming down I heard Ed call for me.
I cleared my throat and stood up before he saw me like this. I didn’t want him asking me questions. Besides, maybe Timber was only here for a couple of days and he’d be leaving. Yes. He would be leaving and everything will be fine.
“Kat, you in here?” Ed strode into the fridge and looked me over.
I had picked up a box to make it look like I was putting up the beer order. “Oh, sorry Ed, I didn’t hear you. Is it getting busy out there?”
Ed had always been observant. He watched me wearily and said, “Yeah. Mel can’t make drinks and bus tables. I’ll take care of all this.”
I set the box down and stood back up, wiping my hands on my shorts. “Sure, no problem.”
As I walked past him, he put his hand on my shoulder. “Everything okay, kid?”
He searched for something in my eyes to tell him differently, but I’d become good at hiding more than just myself. I plastered on a smile and said, “Yeah. Everything’s great, Ed.”
He held his hand there for a second longer and then nodded, releasing my shoulder. I darted around the corner and out of the cool air. My lungs felt tight and I expelled the breath that I wasn’t aware I’d been holding. Giving myself a mental pep talk I said, you can do this. Be normal, be cool. Don’t give him anything that could tip him off.
I walked down the long hallway back to the bar. My eyes sought him out on their own accord. I blew off the feeling that I wanted to know where he was because I was curious about him and convinced myself that I needed to know where he was as if he were the enemy. He sat next to Slim at the far end of the bar. He was drinking what I assumed was a Crown and coke.
You can do this.
I moved behind the bar and stuck to the opposite end from where they were sitting. I knew I was being an asshole to my uncle by avoiding him when he was here to celebrate my birthday, but there was no way I could work by them. My plan was to get through this shift and go upstairs to recenter myself. I just needed to get through the next four hours.
As the evening progressed, The Hole got busier and busier. It was never far from my thoughts that Timber was sitting only a few feet away. At one point during the evening, as he was busy talking to my uncle and had his back to me, I allowed my eyes to freely roam over him.
When Slim introduced us, I didn’t get a good look at his face, but I had noticed how tall he was. I was a short five foot three, and he was over six feet tall. The black wife beater tank he wore showed the chiseled definition of his biceps. Every time he brought his hand forward to grasp his glass, his muscles would bulge in the most appealing way. His shoulders were broad and his shirt clung to the expanse of his back as the fabric stretched down to a trim waist. I could see ink peeking out from under the tank and I was curious what it looked like. The tats that showed went down the length of his left arm in a full sleeve. Some were shaded black, while others displayed bright colors in blues, reds, and greens. They were beautiful. I found myself wanting to get closer so I could examine them. I had known that he was in the Army, so I was surprised when he turned to the side and I saw his gauged ears. I may not have known much about the military, but I knew they didn’t allow tattoos and earrings. As my eyes continued their pursuit of him, I noticed that he lo
oked… older. Obviously, it had been six years, but this kind of aging was different. His expression was hard and his scowl seemed permanent. Even this far away from him, I could feel the air around him. He had an edge, something that screamed dangerous. The Army had clearly done something to toughen him. What had happened?
As I let my thoughts wander about Timber, he must have sensed me looking. He turned his face in my direction and his pale blue eyes pierced mine. I reached out to grab the counter, shaken, because the weight of his stare was more than I expected. He had definitely changed. I shifted unsteadily.
I watched his scowl soften as he continued to watch me through the most incredible sea of blue I’d ever seen. It must have been the lighting in the bar, or that his skin was a deep golden tan, because I couldn’t remember his eyes being so hypnotic. My stomach rolled with unease. He seemed to be trying to figure me out, but I was feeling desire.
Mel came up behind me and said, “Pretty, isn’t he? I was checking him out when he came in earlier. Do you know him?”
I startled and turned in her direction. “I guess so and no, I don’t.” I glanced back at him.
She gave me a knowing smirk. “There’s no guessing about that one, honey, he’s certifiably sex on two legs. And he sure seems to have taken a liking to you.” I could hear the humor in her voice.
“You don’t know that.” I spoke too quickly.
“Mmmhmmm. I know a lot more than you think.”
I could feel Timber’s eyes still on me and it made me squirm. “Well, he’s going to have to look elsewhere ‘cause I’m not interested.”
Mel shook her head. “Kat, in the past two years that I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you with a boyfriend. Care to tell me why that is?”
Because men repulsed me when I thought of them in more than a friendly way? I couldn’t tell her that but I did want to tell her to mind her own damn business. I wouldn’t, though. Mel was like family to me and I knew she meant well. So instead, I shrugged my shoulders and said, “Don’t know. I guess nobody’s caught my eye.”
She tapped her long hot pink fingernails on the bar. “Well, the way you were just checking him out, and you were checking him out, I’d say you just got interested.” She reached down for a beer, popped the top off and went back to serving her tables, cutting me off from giving her any retort.
I wasn’t interested. I was just curious… and cautious. I needed to find out why he was here. I spent the next few hours having Mel serve him his Crown and cokes while I endured her comments about me going to speak to him. She had no idea who Timber was, and I wasn’t about to tell her. This guy was someone that could make my entire world that I’d built here come crashing down. I wouldn’t give him the time of day if he ever came back in here.
There, it was decided.
Shortly before my shift ended, Timber’s movement caught my eye. He stood up from his stool on shaky legs and wove his way to the entrance. I’d felt a sudden urge to stop him. I didn’t want him to leave just yet, but I had no idea why. I made a few steps in his direction. Halting my crazy impulse in its tracks, I stopped and watched him make his way out of the door and hopefully out of my life.
It wasn’t until I couldn’t see him anymore that I realized just how much I’d been watching him all night long. I caught myself staring at the bar stool that he’d just been occupying. Every muscle in my body began slowly relaxing. It was as if I had been waiting for him to make his move and give me the excuse to run.
Needing to call it a night, I went in the back and told Ed that I was in desperate need of a shower and Mel and Beaver could close up. He agreed and wished me a happy birthday for the millionth time. I made my way up to my little space above the bar and decided a hot shower would soothe my achy body.
Standing under the steaming water that was warming my skin and releasing my tension, I figured I needed a game plan. It wasn’t until Timber had been standing in front of me that I realized that I didn’t have provisions in place in case an unwanted face came looking for me. That thought was very discerning to me - that I had allowed myself to get so comfortable that I let my guard down. When your guard is down, you’re not prepared. Always be ready for the unexpected. If Adam taught me anything, it’s that you don’t really know people or what they are capable of. I felt the sting of the too hot water scald me while I made a plan to protect myself and never be a victim again.
Chapter Five
Timber
Waking up on a Friday morning with a clouded head and a massive hangover does wonders to a man’s work ethic. Instead of rolling in my usual three minutes late, I got to the field an hour after starting time. When I walked into the portable building to punch my time card, Slim looked up from his desk through the open door in the far room.
“Bit late, aren’t ya?” I could hear the amusement in his tone. It made my head ache.
“Your fault,” was all I responded with as I slid my card back into its holder and stepped out into the already too hot air. I slid on a pair of aviator sun glasses for some relief from the brightness.
If you’ve never been to Texas during the summer months, you have no idea how scorching it can get outside. Toss in a bit of humidity and it makes for some pretty shitty outside working environments. Fortunately for me, I’m a Texan and have dealt with it my whole life. But I’ve seen plenty of men over the past couple of months come in and out of here on stretchers due to heat exhaustion. They never came back. My guess is that they traveled from neighboring states when they heard about the potential cash income, and thought it was going to be easy work. They had no idea that the job is full of heavy lifting, keeping an eye on the rig wells, maneuvering augers, and crawling in and out of tunnels. Few survived the grueling temperatures that easily reached over one hundred degrees day in and day out. The heat isn’t what tested my resolve, though. It’s the challenge. I never start something I don’t intend to finish. I was part of a team here, and if I walked away, I left the rest of my crew one man short. I knew that was my Army mentality, but it was a quality that I clung to. It’s saved lives. Then again… it’s killed them.
My day had been long and arduous and it was only halfway done. When it was time to break for lunch, I was in desperate need of rehydrating and food. Grabbing my metal pail from one of the saddle bags on my Harley, I took a seat at one of the shaded picnic tables. I reached for a napkin that was being held down by a bottle of ketchup in the middle of the table and used it to wipe the sweat from my forehead. I pulled my already warm ham sandwich from its container and took a large bite. As I sat there eating, Slim came walking out of the trailer with his own lunch pail and sat across from me. When his butt hit the wood, the whole table creaked. He wasn’t a small man. Short, yes, but he was sturdy.
“You look like shit,” he said as he unscrewed the cap to his thermos.
“Yeah, and you look like you’ve been sitting in too much air conditioning, princess.” My sarcasm made him chuckle.
“Sure is a hot day today, you boys doing okay out here? I heard it’s going to be a record breaker.”
“We’ll be fine. I’ll make sure they have some water near and take frequent breaks.” The heat reaches its peak around three o’clock when we are all tired, and trying to get through the last few hours of the day.
“Sounds good. So, did you have a good time last night?” Slim asked.
I’d been thinking about last night all morning and had decided to pick Slim’s brain about Kat. “Yeah, it was good, pretty typical small town dive,” I smirked. “Tell me more about the help.”
I watched Slim’s brows rise slightly. “Well, you met Beaver, Melanie, and Kat. Ed, the owner, was probably in the back. What’d you want to know?”
I took a deep breath and figured I might as well come out with it. Well, not all of it, but more about my curiosity with Katherine, or Kat as she liked to be called now. “Last night was the girl, Kat’s, birthday, right? How long have you known her?”
Slim shook his head. “H
uh-uh. If you’re interested in that one, you’re barking up the wrong tree, Nelson. Roger is very protective of his niece, and that bar owner is even more so. I suggest you pursue someone else. Shit, if you’re lonely, I know plenty of girls that wouldn’t even think twice about being with the likes of you.”
“You calling me good lookin’, Ed?” I teased but I was a bit frustrated by his blatant refusal to give me something. Good thing I don’t give up easily.
“You’re not my type. Those eyes of yours are too pretty,” he answered sarcastically.
Staring at him while he stuffed a handful of BBQ chips in his mouth, I decided to come at it from a different angle. “I’m not after Roger’s niece. She just looks familiar, that’s all.”
He took a big swig of his coke before he answered me. “I don’t really know much about her except that she isn’t from around here. She moved here a couple of years ago to try to get away from her old town. Roger took her in and has taken care of her since. She’s pretty quiet, but Kat’s a good girl. I think she said she’s from Bay City. You ever hear of it?”
I kept my face smooth and devoid of anything that would give away what I’d suspected. He’d just confirmed what I figured out last night. “I’ve heard of it. Never been, though.”
“I suggest you not mention your interest in Kat to Roger. He wouldn’t care if you’re his best worker out there,” he said and pointed with his thumb over his shoulder behind him. “That girl means the world to him and he’d can your ass in a heartbeat for even looking at her wrong.”
“Noted.”
These guys knew nothing about me, and they’d never question my reasons for showing up in their little town. The little that they did know made me okay in their book. I was an Army vet so they accepted me, just like that.