by Carnal, MJ
Kat had decided that she’d held in her secrets too long and it was time for her to talk to someone about it. She’d been seeing a counselor for just over a month now, and it seemed to be working out well. After every appointment, she walked out with her shoulders held a little higher. She was even starting to believe that she wasn’t to blame for the bastard’s decisions. She was a victim, but in the end, instead of running, she’d faced him head on and won. I admired her spirit and tenacity to keep fighting. It made me fight for myself. I’d gone with her to a few appointments and shared the dreams that I’d had every night before Kat. I too had blamed myself, taking on all the responsibility for how my life had played out, when I’d really had no control. Now I know I was meant to be here, with her, and there’s simply nothing more to it. She was my life now.
I jumped up from the stool and stalked towards the way she went. I heard her giggle and it made me smile. “I gave you a head start, but you know I’m going to find you.” When I turned the corner to the hall that led to the bathrooms and office, she saw me and squealed. Capturing her around the waist, I picked her up and hauled her back into the bar.
“Timber, put me down, you’re tickling me.”
“Never.” I made it to one of the pool tables and laid her down across it. Leaning over her, I ran my nose along her throat. “Next time, run in my direction baby. It’ll save you the trouble.”
She snickered. I placed my mouth over hers and kissed her deeply. Our tongues were pushing against one another, fighting for space. I felt like I was being consumed by this small woman under me. She licked and nibbled on my lower lip, causing my groin to stir. She wrapped her arm around me as she threaded her fingers from her other hand into my hair. I climbed up onto the table so that I was straddling her legs.
“Are you happy?” I asked.
“Deliriously,” she stated simply.
I yanked her shirt off as she lifted slightly to help me. Her nipples hardened when the air hit them. Palming her breasts and flicking my thumbs over the soft little peaks, she arched her back and moaned.
“Feel good?”
“You know it does.”
Her own hands went to work, unbuttoning my pants and tugging at my shirt. “Off,” she demanded. I did as she told me to. I watched, completely entranced, as she unzipped my pants and pulled my erection out. She wrapped her fist around it and pumped it a few times, causing all of my muscles to strain.
“Feel good?” The little minx turned the question around on me.
“You know it does.”
She continued to work my cock up and down, squeezing slightly when she’d reach the tip. The little drops of cum were coating the head, and she swirled them around with her thumb. It was driving me mad. I’d hoped to take my time with her, but it was proving to be difficult. Grabbing her hand and forcing her to let go, I moved off her and pulled her pants and underwear down. She picked up on my urgency because she wasted no time helping me kick them off her feet so I could come back up to her and settle in between her legs.
“Oh, God,” she moaned as I slowly sank into her. She was already wet and I knew it wasn’t going to take much for me to make her come apart around me. I’d learned that Kat was capable of giving me more than one orgasm when I was inside of her.
Pulling back and slamming back into her, she grabbed onto my back and dug her nails in my skin. I hissed, but not because it hurt.
“Do you want it harder, Kat?” I pulled back again and withheld myself at her entrance.
“Yes, I want you in me.”
I teased her clit with the head of my cock. “How hard?”
She tried to shift her hips so I would put myself back inside of her. I pulled away. She growled at me. “Timber, I swear to God, if you don’t stop fucking around with me, I’m going to tie you to the bar.”
I barked a laugh. “Then answer the question, Kat. How hard do you want it?”
“I want you to drive into me so hard that I scream your name. Now, please. Don’t make me keep begging and threatening your life.”
I pushed back into her and she tensed around me, letting out a breath she’d been holding. “I love it when my girl talks dirty and sweet at the same time.”
“Shut up and keep fucking me.”
No problem. I started driving into her at a ferocious pace, pulling my hips up and slamming back into her. The slapping of our skin only made me go harder. Her tight pussy clenched around me, and I knew she was getting close.
“Timber…oh God…oh God…I’m close.” Her eyes rolled back into her head.
“Not.” Slam. “Yet.” Slam.
I brought my mouth back down to hers and dove in, tasting every inch of her mouth. Everything about her was sweet and this was no exception. Her soft lips formed to mine and I sucked her tongue, mimicking what my hips were doing with my mouth. When her feet came up and dug into my ass, I started to lose control. My movements became more frantic.
I was just about to tip over the edge when I gritted out, “Now, Kat. Cum, now!”
She screamed out my name while our sweat slicked bodies moved together. Her walls clamped around me, squeezing every little drop from my cock and causing me to shudder.
“Christ.”
Her chest was heaving against mine. “Yeah, that about sums it up.”
I rested there for a few minutes, enjoying being inside of her. When I pulled out, she shivered and I grinned down at her. Sitting back to rest on my heels, I looked at her.
“You are so beautiful. Seriously, I don’t think I would have thought I’d have pegged this is where I’d be, even just a few months ago.”
Her fingers came up and traced the few scars on my torso that I’d gotten in Iraq, but then moved to the raised skin that was whiter than the rest of my skin from where I’d been shot. “Me either. Are you happy?” She once again threw my question back at me.
I glanced up and looked around the space that I now owned, then back down at my dark haired beauty. Her long reddish brown hair was in a mass all over the table underneath her.
“Deliriously.”
She smiled, and I smiled back.
And I was. She had healed me from the inside out. I never knew I’d find someone that could touch my scars. But she had, and I’d love her till the day I died.
The End
© 2014 by MJ Carnal
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, places, or incidents are a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, locations, or events is purely coincidental.
The book is intended for mature audiences only.
Cover Model: Joshua Sean McCann
Cover Photographer: FuriousFotog
Cover Designer: Cover Me, Darling
Editor: Kellie Montgomery
Dedication
To Nathan, my “official song writer” for Liquid Regret. Your words inspire me.
To my readers. THANK YOU will never be enough for taking this journey with me.
Chapter 1
I want so much to heal your pain, the wounds, the hurt, it’s all in vain. Regret is deep and stings like rain, like an open wound Without Novocain.” - Liquid Regret
One year. Three hundred and sixty five agonizing days. It feels like a lifetime. Her emerald eyes haunt me. I dream about her on the nights I actually get to sleep. I’ve turned into a total pussy. Twelve months ago, I watched her walk away from me and did nothing to stop her. She was never mine to begin with but that hasn’t stopped me from obsessing over the next time I’ll see her. What the hell is wrong with me? Yep, total pussy.
We’ve spent the last six months on a tour bus, hopping from city to city, hotel to hotel. I�
��ve searched for replacements but no one has come even remotely close. Being the lead singer of the hottest band in the US right now, I have my choice of women every night. I step off stage and there they are. It’s like a buffet that’s laid out just for me. All shapes, all sizes, I can take my pick. Each one of them offers me exactly what I want, exactly how I want it. The problem? No one can give me what I need. No one but her.
“D Rey, come back to bed.”
Tonight’s replacement looks more like Mia. Her red hair is long and straight but her skin isn’t as soft. Her eyes aren’t as green. She stretches and smiles at me. I’ve got to get her out of here. She’s stayed longer than I usually allow them to and she’s got to go. The walls are starting to close in on me. What the fuck was her name? Michelle? No, that’s not right. Melissa? No. I’m an asshole.
Don’t judge me. I’m a man. Being on stage is a huge high and there’s nothing better than losing myself inside a woman to bring me down from that. I don’t have the luxury of having a drink or popping a pill. Those days are long gone. I’ve been clean for fourteen years. Aside from the occasional aspirin, my body is chemical free and Mia Avery Lee is my only drug. Fucking her out of my system is the cure. It hasn’t worked yet. But, eventually it has to.
A year ago, I helped my cousin propose to the love of his life. Ironically, she’d been my girlfriend first. She dumped me the second good ole Steve gave her the time of day. That’s a story I will gag through later. You should probably get to know me first.
They say your past defines you. I call bullshit on that. I’ve spent the last ten years ensuring that mine doesn’t. I’ve lost my way lately but the last decade has seen living on the street, rolling in money and everything in between.
“D Rey, baby. Let me make you feel good again.” Time’s up. Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard. I don’t understand the whining. I don’t handle that well.
“You need to go before my manager storms through this door and rips my dick off.” I’m pleading now but she isn’t moving. “We’re leaving for the West Coast in the morning and I need to get my shit together.”
This woman is another mistake in a huge line of mistakes in my life. Let’s get all the judgment over at once, shall we? Where should I start? I had a fucked up childhood. My dad sucked and spent more time pummeling me than he did sleeping. I fell into the wrong crowd in high school and spent my time shooting up or looking for anything that would make me numb. My aunt and uncle saved me, got me clean, got the dealer off my back and loved me when I needed it most. Looking back, getting clean may have been the easy part. I was 16 and my hormones were everywhere. I thought with my dick. What kid in high school doesn’t? When a cheerleader gave me the time of day at a party, I jumped at it. A couple months later, she was at my doorstep with a pregnancy test that changed everything.
I panicked. Can you blame me? Her parents were self-important and couldn’t stand to be embarrassed. She told them I had raped her. Who are you going to believe? Claire, the honor roll cheerleader or Damien, the recovering drug addict? I begged her to tell the truth and when she saw the beating my dad had given me that night, she admitted she’d lied. It was too late. The damage had been done. Dear ole dad said he was going to take things out on my mom. Hearing her crying that whole night was too much for me. He hadn’t laid a hand on her but the verbal abuse was enough to make me want to kill him. I thought the only way to save her was to disappear. So, that night, while the rest of the world was asleep, I packed the few things I owned and took off.
I kept in touch with Claire and was able to sneak into the hospital and get a glimpse of my son the night he was born. If you think parenthood doesn’t have a profound impact on a teenager, think again. Suddenly, everything made sense. Xander Bennet changed everything. I learned some important lessons that night. The dick that had been labeled as my father wasn’t even worth pissing on had he been on fire. How anyone could hurt a child was something I would never understand. Claire became my family forever, whether I wanted that or not. And I learned how much I needed and missed my cousin and my insane group of friends.
Still, going home wasn’t an option. My dad had gotten sick and he blamed the cancer on me and my mom. No way was I adding to that hell storm. I kept moving, finding shelter, food, whatever else I needed. I refused to give up. I met Griffin while I was living on the street. He was only a year older but his story was similar to mine. He let me sleep on his ripped up sofa in the shit smelling apartment he was able to afford. He and his girlfriend, Della, became my family. We bonded over music and Griff and I started to form what later became Liquid Regret. He’s known to the world as Harley. It’s a long story that involves the paparazzi and his motorcycle but that’s his story to tell. Della is now his wife. He’s a lucky son of a bitch. They inspire me to find that for myself. They’ve been married for two years but have loved each other since the beginning of time.
I won’t deny that I’m the playboy of the group. I suck and I know it. But I need sex like I need to breathe. Sure, I traded one addiction for another but the only way I can get through this crazy life out here on the road is to find one thing that’s the same in every city. Without a doubt, that’s the women. So what if I find myself on the front of every gossip rag? I’ve been called a womanizer, a cheater, a playboy, you name it, they’ve said it. It’s not 100% true but it’s pretty fucking close. I’d trade it all for Mia but I don’t see that happening. The person my lifestyle hurts the most is Xander. I don’t get to see him anymore. Claire said I’d have to give up touring and women and settle down. It makes me a douche that I won’t do it but it’s the only way I can support my son and give him the financial security he deserves. Once I’m back in LA, shit will change. For now, he’s better off with his mom.
See? I’m a fucked up mess. I have no one to blame but myself. Life happened so quickly, I didn’t know whether to hold on tight or jump off before my sanity was completely shot. I fought so hard for fame that when I got it, I didn’t know what to do with it. Our first big gig was the LA Music Awards and a tour as opening act for Ripping Pages. That lasted all of ten shows before our managers realized that the venues were selling out and we were their meal ticket. I’m not complaining. Liquid Regret is the hottest group in the US and being out on tour is everything I dreamed it would be. But somewhere in my dreams, I had imagined sleep and fast cars and so much money I could wipe my ass with it. I have the money, I just don’t have a minute to myself to spend it. What I don’t send to my son and the devil that won’t let me see him, I’m stashing in hopes of settling down in LA near my family.
The Lee sisters were my ultimate undoing. I dated Lily for what amounted to less than a minute in the grand scheme of things. She was gorgeous and did things to my heart that no one else had. But, it wasn’t ever quite right. There was always something missing. Little did I know that missing piece was her sister, Mia. She’s fucking beautiful. Her skin smells good, her red hair reminds me of flames and I want to spend every second of my life worshiping her body.
The second I saw her, I took the first deep breath I’d taken in years. They say that “the one” is supposed to take your breath away. That’s crap. Mia walked in, took one look at me and smiled. I was done. I felt calm, I felt centered, I felt whole. Being in her presence made me realize that I hadn’t been fully relaxed since I was a kid. The weight of the world shifted off my shoulders. She was it for me and I was too much of a pussy to realize how much that meant.
Lily noticed right away. She’d taken me home to meet her family. Not because we were a serious item but because she didn’t want to travel cross country alone. I didn’t have anything else going on so I jumped at the chance to spend that time with her. I was a fill in for my cousin, Steve. I was ok with that. She was hot and I was horny. When she saw the way I looked at Mia, she busted my balls relentlessly about being too scared to make a move. She was right. I was on the brink of my first tour. I didn’t need anything serious if I was leaving. But I kissed her th
at trip and I felt it all the way to my toes.
My second trip home with Lil was different. We tried the dating thing, both of us looking for someone to fill the void. She was smarter than I was and let me down easy. I rushed into her Georgia apartment hoping Mia would be there. She was. Her loser ex-boyfriend greeted me too. That didn’t stop me from tangling her hair around my fingers while I kissed her like a man on a mission. I spent the rest of that trip staring at her and following her around like a crazy stalker ready to kidnap my next victim. We had a couple great nights together. She was definitely too good for me and we kept things PG. But it was hard to walk out the last morning.
I promised I would leave two tickets for her at every show on the East Coast. She hadn’t used any of them. I’d like to be a macho man and tell you that I didn’t give a shit. I’d be lying.
“Shit.” The pounding at my door is one of two people. Either my dick of a father got through security or my manager is pissed. Marie. That’s it. I knew I’d figure it out. “Marie, get dressed.”
Looking through the peep hole confirms what I already knew. It’s Joshua Seymour, kick ass manager and resident pain in my balls. It’s not entirely my fault that he’s pissed. In all fairness, I didn’t want to do the meet and great backstage. It’s also not my fault that Marie was more into me than her burly boyfriend. It was a case of bad timing. She jumped into my arms and stuck her tongue down my throat before I even knew what the hell was happening. I was simply trying to defend her honor when I laid his ass out for charging at me. Sure, those vultures with the zoom lenses got some shots of me being the hero. Sue me. OK, don’t. That’s probably what ole Josh is worried about. I wasn’t going to let him kick my ass in front of my fans.
“Welcome. What brings you by this late at night?” Think my innocent act will work? Probably not, judging by the look on Mr. Seymour’s face. It certainly won’t work with the security detail he brought along.