Soup...Er...Myrtle!: A Myrtle Crumb Mystery (Myrtle Crumb Mystery Series)

by Gayle Trent

  “Let’s get him in here before he dies of frostbite or something,” Delphine said. She opened the door. “Hey, mister! Are you all right?”

  He came into the kitchen shaking like a rabbit in a bears’ den. “I wouldn’t mind a cup of hot coffee if you have one.” He unwrapped the scarf, folded it, and tucked it into his coat pocket. “I’m Harry L-loomis. I’m on th-the list to work today.”

  His teeth were rattling so that he could barely talk.

  It dawned on me that he’d said he was Harry Loomis. He sure didn’t look like a college kid to me. Of course, I reckoned that riding a bicycle around in thirty-degree weather would age a feller pretty dang quick.

  “Did you say you’re Harry Loomis?” I asked.

  “Yes, ma’am.” He took off his gloves and shoved them into his pockets.

  “Well, why didn’t you drive?” I asked.

  When he frowned at me like I was crazy, I told him about Bettie seeing his name on the list and telling me that he’d bought a car from them last week.

  “It didn’t quit on you already, did it?” I asked.

  “That must’ve been some other Harry Loomis,” he said. “I have seizures and never was allowed to get a driver’s license.” He gave me and Delphine a wry grin. “Not that it’d do me any good anyhow. I can’t afford a car.”

  Delphine handed Harry his coffee. “There’s cream and sugar there on the counter, so you can fix it however you like it.”

  “I appreciate that, ma’am, but black is fine with me.”

  Doris came in, and I asked her if she’d like for me to get started on the cornbread. She said that if I didn’t mind, she’d appreciate that.

  As I got out a mixing bowl, I found myself wondering about all these Harry Loomises and Opal Gradys running around Backwater.

  Chapter Four

  Well, don’t you know I was tickled pink to see Heather and those little ones come through the door? Once again, Heather had on that thin blue jean jacket. We hadn’t started serving yet, so I hurried over to them.

  I bent over and spoke to the girls first. “Hello there, little princesses! How are you today?”

  The oldest said she was fine, and the youngest grinned at me from behind her momma’s leg.

  “Heather, I’ve got something in the car for you, if you’d like to have it,” I whispered. “It’s a coat.”

  “I appreciate it. How much do you want for it?” she asked.

  “I’ll not take a dime for it. It was my daughter’s, and she’s not using it anymore. I’d just like to see somebody get some wear out of it.”

  “Are you sure you won’t let me pay you for it?”

  “I’m positive. Grab me before you leave, and we’ll walk out to the car and get it,” I said.

  She told me she would, and I went over and got in place in the serving line before the dining room started filling up. Today we were serving potato soup, chicken and rice, and tomato bisque. I’ll warrant that tomato bisque was Bettie’s concoction. She liked fancy stuff like that. I had to admit, it did look tasty, but I was planning on going with the potato soup if there was any left after everybody had gone through the line.

  * * *

  I saw Heather helping her girls into their coats as I was finishing up my lunch. In case you’re wondering, there had been some potato soup left…and it was awfully good. I told Delphine I’d be right back. Then I went and got my coat from the closet near the kitchen, put it on, and returned to where Heather and the girls were standing.

  “You ready?” I asked.

  “Yep…as soon as I get Miranda Sue’s mittens on her,” Heather said.

  Miranda Sue was the littlest one, and she smiled up at me as her momma slid the mittens over her tiny hands.

  Once she had her daughters suited up, Heather took their hands and we walked to the door. I held it open for them to go out ahead of me.

  “Mine’s the white Buick right over there,” I said, taking the key fob from my coat pocket and unlocking the door. The long gray coat was hanging from a rack on the back passenger side. I got the coat and held it up for Heather. “What do you think?”

  “I love it.” She looked down at the girls and ordered them not to move because she was going to have to let go of their hands for a minute.

  I stepped over to kind of block the children into the space as best as I could. You never knew when a young ‘un would see something and try to run over and get a better look at it. Then again, that’s practically what Delphine and I did when we saw Harry Loomis riding up on that bicycle while ago. But something like that’ll make you look twice. I planned to offer him a ride home, if we could figure out what to do with that bicycle. I didn’t think it’d fit in the trunk.

  Heather slipped on the coat, and it fit her like it was made for her. She smiled at me. “It’s beautiful.”

  “It is,” I told her. “It suits you. All you need to go with it is a blue scarf to bring out your pretty eyes…and I might have one at the house.”

  “Please won’t you let me pay you for this?” she asked. “Your daughter could get a good price for a coat this nice at the consignment shop.”

  “We’re just happy you can use it,” I said. “There’s a couple pairs of jeans, some sweaters, and a dress in that bag on the seat. Would you mind taking those off our hands?”

  “I’d love them,” she said.

  “Dolly!” Miranda Sue shouted happily, pointing at the other bag in the back seat of my car.

  “You see a dolly?” I asked her. “I couldn’t very well bring your momma something and leave you two angels out, now could I?”

  “Myrtle, you’re spoiling all of us,” Heather said.

  “It makes me happy to be able to give back something. When my granddaughter was a baby, her daddy was killed in a car accident. Faye had a rough time raising Sunny by herself.”

  “That’s sad,” said Heather. “Thank goodness, we aren’t alone though. Or, at least, we won’t be for much longer. Their daddy went to Georgia to find a job.” A shadow passed across her face. “We’ve not heard from him since Christmas…but we know he’s doing the best he can.”

  “I’m sure he is.” That was a bald-faced lie I’d have to ask the Lord forgiveness for as soon as I got to myself. “In the meantime, please let us, your family, and the rest of this community help fill in until he either gets home or sends for you.” I smiled. “It tickles us all to get to know new people.”

  She thanked me again and allowed me to carry the two bags to her car. I’d put the cupcakes in the freezer when I got home yesterday and had forgotten to bring them this morning.

  I’d sure like to find out Heather’s sorry husband’s name. Me and Matlock would load up the Buick and drive down to Georgia to find his sorry butt and drag it home where it belonged!

  * * *

  Coop came and picked me up at around six o’clock. He brought me a bouquet of pale orange dahlias. He looked very handsome in his khaki slacks, white shirt, and navy sport coat; and I told him he did. I wasn’t bashful about expressing myself. He had a full head of white hair, piercing blue eyes, and a strong, sturdy build. My Sheriff Norville was a looker, that’s for certain.

  Anyhow, he told me I looked as pretty as the first flower of springtime. That made me giggle like a schoolgirl. Of course, I had taken pains to look my very best. I had on black and white hound’s-tooth pants with black hose and pumps and an emerald green sweater.

  Coop helped me on with my black wool coat and kept his arm around my waist as we went out to his truck. I hoped Tansie was watching from her window. If she wasn’t watching us leave, you could be sure she would be when we got back. Like that’d do her any good. Did she really think I’d give Cooper his goodnight kiss on the porch as cold as it was?

  He opened the door and helped me up into the big white pickup truck. It was toasty warm.

  He went around and slid behind the wheel. “Where to, my lady?”

  “Wherever you feel like going,” I said.

&
nbsp; “I’m kinda in the mood for a steak. Would that be all right with you?”

  “I think that sounds great. There wasn’t a steakhouse in Backwater, so I knew we’d be driving for a few minutes. It was as good a time as any to voice my concerns about all the dual identities I’d recently encountered. “I guess you run across lots of people with the same name in your line of work.”

  “Well, it depends on the area. Here in town, there seems to be a lot of Millers and Coles. In the county, I see a lot of Whites and Phelps come across my desk.”

  “That’s not what I mean,” I said. “How often do you figure you stumble upon two exact names…say, two Myrtle Crumbs?”

  He laughed. “Darlin’, there ain’t but one Myrtle Crumb in this world. I’m sure of that.”

  I laughed with him but then I got serious again. “But tell me…how often do you see the same name?”

  “It’s certainly not uncommon, especially with the plainer names—John, James, Mary, Alice—paired with widespread surnames like White or Miller. If you did a search for John White or Alice Miller, you’d likely get a slew of results.”

  “How about Opal Grady or Harry Loomis?” I asked.

  He took his eyes off the road just long enough to squint at me. “Those wheels are turning, Myrtle. Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours. “

  I told him about Backwater apparently having two Harry Loomises and a pair of Opal Gradys, and then I filled him in on what I’d learned the past couple of days.

  “I suppose there could be a father and son named Harry Loomis, but it would be strange if the man you met had a son by the same name and he chose not to mention it,” said Cooper. “But two Opal Gradys in a town as small as Backwater?” He shook his head. “I’d say we have an identity thief on our hands. Both of these people are associated in some way with the soup kitchen where you’ve been volunteering?”

  “Yeah. They’re poor people. Opal even told me she’d never had a bank account,” I said. “She said her parents went through the Great Depression and taught her to be leery of banks.”

  “So she’d never know someone had stolen her identity until the authorities or bill collectors came knocking at her door,” he said. “And that can take years. We had a case once where a neighbor stole a child’s identity. It didn’t come to light until the kid was eighteen and went to get a car loan. When the bank ran the credit report, it showed all these defaults.”

  “How’d they find out it was the young ‘un’s neighbor who’d done it?” I asked.

  “The parents contacted the credit card companies to ask for detailed statements. Of course, the companies’ fraud divisions were happy to help. When the parents examined the statements, there was the new lawn mower the neighbor had bought…along with several other items that made it easy for us to get a search warrant. And, when his back was to the wall, the neighbor confessed.”

  “What a creep! To steal a young ‘un’s identity and ruin his credit before he even gets started! Did it all get worked out all right?”

  “Eventually…but it was a long, drawn-out process. He did get his car though.”

  “That’s good. And as much as I hate hearing about that sort of thing happening to that child, it’s awful for it to happen to Opal and Harry Loomis too. It’s horrible for it to happen to anybody.”

  “It is,” Coop agreed. “I’ll look into it and see what I can do.”

  “Now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It’s like you said, it’s strange that two victims both come into the soup kitchen.”

  “I said that?” He arched an eyebrow at me.

  I grinned. “Well, you said something along those lines. And since I’m volunteering at the soup kitchen, you’ve already got someone on the inside….”

  “Myrtle….”

  “You know good and well I can handle this. I’ve dealt with robbers and killers and all kinds of riff-raff,” I said. “Besides, I like Opal. She’s a sweet, God-fearing woman, and I want to take this identity thief down.”

  “All right.” Cooper sighed. “We’ll start investigating…discreetly. I’ll run the names Opal Grady and Harry Loomis to see what comes up. Get me as many more names as you can—workers and people who come in to eat.”

  “I’ll do it. Would you mind stopping at a store before we get to the restaurant? I want to buy a new notebook for my intelligence gathering.”

  Chapter Five

  The restaurant was nice. Booths lined the walls, there were small, walnut tables scattered throughout the dining room, and classical music was playing softly. The hostess led us to a table and said our waiter would be with us momentarily.

  “Did you see Heather today?” Cooper asked.

  “I did. She was especially tickled with that coat…kept trying to pay me for it.” I frowned. “She told me her husband has been in Georgia looking for a job. She and the girls haven’t heard from him since Christmas.”

  A perky brunette waitress named Courtney came over and took our drink order. When she left, I turned back to the subject of Heather’s husband.

  “If he’d had an accident or something, the authorities would’ve contacted Heather, right?”

  “If he had identification on him, they would have,” Cooper said.

  “Here I’ve been vilifying him all day as a deadbeat who ran out on Heather and those precious little girls, and it only just now occurred to me that he might’ve had an accident or something,” I said.

  Coop took my hand. “Odds are your first instinct was the right one.”

  Courtney brought us our glasses of sweet tea and took down our food order. When she sashayed off, I asked Cooper if he could maybe contact Georgia police to see if they could find Heather’s husband.

  “Not without more information,” he said. “I’d need to know the man’s name and what part of Georgia he’s supposed to be in. An approximate age and description would be good too.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.”

  He smiled and shook his head. “I know you will.”

  * * *

  It was still early when we got back to my house. After Matlock had greeted Cooper, I let the dog out into the backyard.

  “I believe True Grit is coming on the classic movie channel at eight,” I said. “I could make us some popcorn if you’d like to stay and watch it.”

  Coop smiled. “I’d like that very much.”

  “Well, then, make yourself comfortable, and I’ll get the snacks.” I went into the kitchen and put a bag of popcorn in the microwave. While that was popping, I took some cookies out of the freezer. I still had some potato chip, peanut butter, and double chocolate chip cookies left over from all the batches I’d made in December.

  After the popcorn was done, I thawed the cookies in the microwave until they were warm through and through. I put them on a plate and the popcorn in a bowl, and then I took the snacks into the living room.

  Cooper had taken off his sport coat and laid it over the back of the couch.

  “Now, what’ll you have to drink?” I asked.

  “What’ve you got?”

  I told him I had tea, coffee, water, soft drinks, and cocoa.

  “Would it be too awful much trouble to make some cocoa?” he asked.

  “None at all.” I nodded at the remote. “Go ahead and put it on the movie channel if you want to. I’ll be right back.”

  As I returned to the kitchen, I heard the TV come on. I got a saucepan and filled it full of milk. I thought about how nice it was to have Coop here. We’d been to the movies before. And, of course, we’d had dinner out, and I’d made him dinner here several times. But this was the first time we’d watched a movie at either of our houses. I thought it was nice…and that it was maybe another milestone in our relationship.

  When the milk was hot, I added the cocoa powder. I got it all smooth and creamy, poured the cocoa into two mugs, placed a marshmallow in each mug, and carried the mugs into the living room. Coop got up off the couch, took the mugs, and set them on coast
ers on the coffee table. Then he gave me a sweet kiss before we sat back down.

  He put his arm around me as the movie started, and I settled in against his side. I felt like a teenager again. I didn’t move until the first commercial when I got up to let Matlock back in.

  * * *

  The next morning, Faye dropped Sunny off at my house on her way to work. Faye had to work for half a day every other Saturday so Sunny and I had ourselves a spa day then. We did manicures and pedicures, and we tried to brush up on makeup techniques sometimes.

  Sunny introduced me to the YouTube videos done by that pretty little Michelle Phan. Have you seen those? They’re incredible. That young ‘un can transform herself into looking like just about anybody with makeup and a wig. And she has practical applications too. She did a makeover on her momma one time, and I swear to goodness that when Michelle got done, the woman looked twenty years younger.

  “I wish we could get her to do our makeup,” I told Sunny.

  “Me too.” She grinned. “I’d have her fix me up like Jennifer Lawrence playing Katniss. Who would you be, Mimi?”

  “Honey, I’d settle for Myrtle Crumb circa 1990.” I ran my hand over her beautiful smooth cheek. “Always appreciate who you are. I mean it. Truly appreciate yourself.”

  “I do. You’ve always taught me that,” she said. “Don’t you appreciate who you are?”

  “I do now. I didn’t always. That’s why I understand the importance of it when I look back now,” I said. “I used to gripe that I was too short or too fat…that my nose was too big. I look back now and realize that none of that was true. I was something of a looker in my day.”

  “You’re still a looker, Mimi.”

  “Well…I’m no slouch,” I said, and we both laughed until we cried.

  I loved spending time with my Sunny. For one thing, I not only adored her but I genuinely liked the young ‘un. She was bright, funny, warm, and had a lightning quick wit. And she made me feel young again…not like a kid…but maybe like her mom instead of her grandmother.