Indulge

by Duncan, Megan

  My father’s voice remained steady and strong, yet somehow I knew this was not a good sign. I swallowed hard, pushing the lump further down my throat.

  I said as confidently as I could, “I don’t think she is the type of vampire to say such a thing like that, and not know what it meant.” Every eye in the room was on me.

  “She tried to kill you, this Ana,” said one of the elderly vampires. Her voice wavered with age. “Attempting to murder a princess is reason enough, but if her darkness runs deeper then we must defend ourselves.”

  “Leona is right.” One of the Blood Guard spoke up. “I know it is against our beliefs to take action. But we cannot allow such atrocities to go on any longer. They will take us back into the dark ages if we do nothing.” His voice started to boom with aggression, but a hand on his shoulder from a nearby guard placated him.

  My father nodded, scratching his beard deep in thought. “You speak the truth, Jarvan,” he said. The man nodded, appreciative for the recognition. “I do not believe that inaction will prevent a war this time and the stakes are too great. I will not allow them to take my daughter again.” His eyes flashed to me and my heart surged with happiness. My father wasn’t going to let anyone take me ever again.

  “No matter what decision we make, I believe Nicolae will start a war to get her back.” Arrick pointed to me. “There is no way to avoid war as soon as he knows where she is.”

  “Then why did you bring her back?” Jarvan, the Blood Guard with stark white hair and a thick mustache asked. “The King and Queen made the greatest sacrifice to prevent war when she was taken, yet here you spit on their decision by bringing her back. Now we must worry about the consequences of your actions and prepare for the possibility of another dark age.”

  I could sense Arrick’s frustration with Jarvan’s words. “They tried to murder her!” Arrick shouted. He stood, slamming his hands on the table. “I’ve watched over her for eighteen years. Silently seeing her live a life that was never meant to be hers. I saw a child who cried herself to sleep at night because she longed for a family. She carried a hole within herself for her entire life that could not be filled.”

  Sadness filled me as I listened to Arrick’s words. He knew the depth of my turmoil.

  I had been wrong. Our feelings, our bond, were not just a result of the Blood Mate ceremony; Arrick knew me. He really, truly knew me and the pain I masked from everyone. Knowing now that he understood that pain, made me feel less alone. It hurt to admit it, but my heart and mind were slowly releasing Dmitry and embracing Arrick. And I didn’t want to fight it anymore.

  My mother rose from her seat and lifted her hands to stop the heated discussion. “Everyone has made sacrifices to maintain the peace we have had for the past many years. There is no way to compare whose was greater. And our daughter belongs in Naos,” she said, her eyes flashing to Jarvan with sweltering anger. “If there are vampires in Nicolae’s region that are following the dark, then whether or not Arrick brought Claire home would make no difference. If he had left her there, she may have never made it home to us. He did a great service to our region.”

  Arrick nodded but I felt the anger still bubbling within him. I hated seeing everyone arguing over what to do. There were so many things that had gone wrong, and so many ways that things could continue to go wrong. I didn’t want to be what tore this beautiful city apart. I shot up from my seat and amplified my voice as I did during my coronation ball. I didn’t want there to be any doubt in the sincerity of my words. “I will go back if I have to. If that means it will keep your way of life safe then I will do it.”

  Jarvan nodded in agreement, and anger flared inside me. I knew this region was all about peace and avoiding war, but to me, he seemed like a coward.

  “No, you won’t,” Arrick retorted.

  “Yes, I will. They want me. Nicolae will do anything to get me back. He is losing hold of his position and if he doesn’t have a pure blood to maintain his position of power then he is the next target. Think about it. He took me not because he wanted a daughter but because he needed to keep the throne. He knew that someone was after him and he used me to deflect that.”

  “You are very wise for such a young vampire,” Leona spoke up. “If you were to return, you would be a target. Nicolae would continue to use you to help maintain his authority of the throne. Especially if he knows that there are traitors among his family that are following a dark path. The risk will be much greater than before. Sending you back will only buy us time. It will not prevent a war.”

  I felt my resolve faltering. Leona was right. I would probably be in greater danger going back, but what choice did I have? If it meant protecting my family it felt worth it to me.

  “War cannot always be prevented and I will not have my daughter used as a pawn,” My father’s voice was deep and menacing. My body cowered at the sound of it. Even the air seemed to vibrate under its power. “It is time.”

  He turned his back to the room and paced silently. I wasn’t sure exactly what had been decided and when I turned to my mother she was already headed to my father’s side. Were we going to war against Nicolae? This wasn’t what I wanted at all.

  I got up and walked to the empty seat next to Arrick. “What’s going to happen?”

  “He’s deciding if we are going to war or not,” he said, picking at a niche in the table.

  “There has to be something else we can do. Can’t we send someone to talk to Nicolae? Maybe we can negotiate?” I know it probably sounded crazy, but I just got home. I didn’t want anything or anyone to take that away from me.

  “Cathair is incredibly wise. He knows very well that Nicolae will come for you. You are his last and only way of maintaining his throne. Your pure blood is bound to him, Claire. If we do not bring war to him, he will bring it to us. He will claim that you were stolen from his palace in the night and all the vampires in his region will rally to take back their princess from us.”

  “What if his throne was no longer threatened? Then he wouldn’t need me anymore, right?”

  I hesitated as my father approached, a look of interest on his face. He had been listening. “Go on.”

  “Well… Nicolae isn’t the only vampire who is going to be after me. I’m pretty sure Ana is somewhere out there, lurking in the dark, waiting for the time to strike.” I clenched my fist at the thought.

  “I’m not going to let her hurt you, Claire.” Arrick blurted.

  “That’s not what I’m saying.” My tone grew frustrated but I took a breath and calmed myself. “Ana attacked me because she wanted Nicolae’s throne. Getting rid of her would not just make me safer, but it would also take the threat away from Nicolae. Without risk to his control, he has no reason to pursue me.” The logic of my words just made my revenge on Ana that much more justified.

  “Spoken like a true strategist. You are most definitely my daughter.” My father smiled, his lengthy fangs threatening to pierce his lips. “Maybe we can avoid a war after all.”

  Maybe. The only problem was that we didn’t know where Ana was.

  For the next few hours, Arrick, my father and the other Blood Guards spoke ardently about our plans and how we were going to go about stopping the threat to Nicolae and killing Ana. Not to mention discovering who was behind her evil deeds. I voiced my suspicion of her parents and everyone seemed to agree, yet my parents stated that it had to run much deeper than that. They believed there was a different design than just gaining control over Nicolae’s region. Especially if the dark was coming.

  My mother and the two older vampires explained to me exactly what the dark was. It connected with the story Robin had told me before the ceremony that bonded Arrick and me. In the dark ages, the blood thirsty vampires who killed all living things created a kind of sect or religion that they called The Dark. They were consumed with lust for killing and the power they felt when draining human life.

  The Dark wanted complete control over all regions, to be feared and worshipped by all, kill
ing anything that stood in their way. My mother said she always feared that there were still followers lingering somewhere in the shadows and someday they would return to take back what they wanted, by any means necessary. She described them as animals. They were vampires, but by killing their own kind they evolved into something else. Something sinister. Something monstrous.

  “They are demonic creatures, Claire,” Leona said, her voice laced with worry. It was hard to imagine her as a battle-worthy vampire; she looked so frail, but the look in her eyes said otherwise.

  “But Arrick drank my blood to become my Blood Mate and he didn’t change,” I said.

  “Blood Guard,” Alistair corrected. I learned that he was Leona’s grandfather. She had wanted to follow in his footsteps and become a master at vampire history. It reminded me of Robin and her family. I missed her so much. “His drinking your blood was part of an ancient ceremony, but what The Dark does is very different. You young vampires don’t understand what it could truly be like. You don’t know what true evil looks like.”

  I swallowed hard. I did know what it looked like and I definitely knew what it felt like. I rubbed my neck, remembering Ana latching onto it with her fangs. I remembered what it felt like to have my blood sucked from my body. To be on the edge of death.

  “Excuse me,” I hissed at the old man. The phrase might have been polite, but my tone definitely wasn’t. I nearly ran from my seat causing it to squeak against the marble floor and echo throughout the room, everyone watching behind me. I still hadn’t tamed the anger from what happened to me and my heart was hammering in my chest.

  Feeling my internal struggle, Arrick flashed to my side and wrapped his arms around me. I didn’t fight him, but simply let his comforting embrace calm me. I couldn’t let my anger take over me. Not yet, at least. I would have to keep it caged until I was face to face with Ana and then I could set free the monster I felt I was becoming.

  I felt Arrick flinch and I looked up to see Alistair approaching. He was walking slowly like an old man, even though he could probably rush to me with incredible Vampire speed. He smiled weakly; his old fangs were a slight shade of gray.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said. “Sometimes I stick my old foot in my mouth. Ione and Leona reminded me, very sharply,” he raised his long, bushy eyebrows. “Of what happened to you. A vampire as young, and special as you, should not have gone through such a thing. Especially our princess.”

  He hobbled away as my mother and Leona approached. Leona kept a wary eye on him as he exited the great room.

  “I hope he hasn’t bothered you too much,” she said when he was gone. “He doesn’t have a filter at all I think sometimes. He will say whatever pops into his old head without even the slightest thought beforehand.” She smiled reassuringly. “As I was trying to explain, it is not the act of drinking blood that changes you, but also the intent behind it. Just as The Dark, used to be like us. When the act of their blood drinking changed, so did they. Also, during the ceremony the blood is infused with a tear from the Goddess.”

  A giant question mark sprung onto my face and Leona laughed whimsically. “Not an actual tear. Of course, the priests would never admit that.” Her smile was as mischievous as a young girl who knew a secret. “It’s really just water that the priests bless.”

  “Oh.” I was a little disappointed with the revealed information. Sure, I knew it was incredibly unlikely that they had tiny vials of real Goddess tears, but it was a fantastical thought.

  “Don’t look so disappointed, Claire,” my mother said. She draped my hair behind my ear with a finger allowing her to see my face fully. “Remember, it is the intent behind the act. The priests bless the water because they follow Nyx; the Blood Guard, or Blood Mate in your case, drink the blood because they want to serve Nyx and her creations and the vampires offer their blood so that others may follow Nyx as they choose. Do you understand?”

  It was confusing, but made sense all at the same time. I nodded. “It’s like a circle. Without my blood, Arrick might not have been able to become a Guard… I mean Mate. And without priests to worship, follow and teach of Nyx, no one would know about her?” I hated always mixing up his title and decided that, to me, he would always be both.

  “You’re getting it.” My mother and Leona both smiled. I couldn’t fight their positive energy and smiled with them.

  “I am proud of you, Claire. I know it’s hard to deal with everything that has happened and I can still see the hurt and anger in your eyes. Ana may be a young vampire, but she still is quite old and you defeated her. In fact you held your ground against two Vampires. That is very impressive.”

  Her words were comforting, but squelched the temporary relief I had felt. A picture of Luka, lying on my bedroom floor, blood pooling around him flashed in my mind. As much as I hated him, I didn’t want to remember him like that. And I didn’t want Dmitry to remember him like that either. I hoped that someday he would forgive me.

  “I didn’t defeat her though,” I said. “Arrick didn’t see her when he looked over the balcony.” Anger burned beneath the surface, but Arrick’s sudden grip on my hand quickly cooled it. I didn’t know what I would do without him.

  “In my book, you are victorious.” My mother pulled me into a small hug and guided me out of the room. Arrick and Leona following behind in whispered conversation.

  “You proved to her that you will not go down easily. You are stronger than she or you even think you are, and that is a good thing, Claire.”

  It was comforting to hear words of encouragement from her. I did my best to clear my head and let my nerves unwind. I wasn’t alone in this. I had a family and friends to protect me, and it felt good.

  “Are you hungry?” my mother asked as we walked through an archway into a large dining room.

  “Starving.”

  We seated ourselves and my father, followed by the Blood Guard, quickly joined us. The conversation was much lighter now, everyone talking about the customs of the region, or locations in the city with exceptional beauty that I should visit immediately.

  “You must take her to the temple, Arrick. She will love it there.” Leona smiled at me.

  “I plan on it. I’ve already taken her to the gardens and she loved it. Right, Claire?”

  “Yes, they are beautiful.” I wished I could go hide in the gardens that very moment. I was so tired and didn’t feel like talking to anyone for the rest of the night.

  “They are my favorite place,” my mother winked at me and raised her hand to have dinner served.

  Several golden platters were carried in by hooded servants. They smiled widely as they served us, lifting the lids from atop the dishes after placing them delicately on the table. I always felt the human servants at Palace Noire were so skittish. It was nice to see how comfortable they were here.

  I wasn’t sure what I was expecting for dinner. My meals at Palace Noire were all served in little silver goblets, but what sat before me made a small gasp escape me. A petite porcelain bowl sat delicately before me, its edges painted in a golden leaf design. “What is it?” I knew it was blood of course, but I had never seen it served in such a way.

  “It’s been infused with almond oil. It’s one of your father’s favorite dishes.”

  Sure enough, my father was looking hungrily at his bowl, but he waited patiently for everyone to be served. Arrick and the Blood Guard were brought plates matching the design on the bowl, each topped with a mountainous salad and large grilled fish, steaming and oozing juices. It was cooked perfectly.

  When everyone was served, I expected the feast to begin. In fact, my stomach growled loudly in anticipation but it was disappointed. My father rose first, everyone else following his lead. I stood up last, unsure of what was going on. We all joined hands and bowed our heads, my father clearing his voice. I caught him stealing a glance at me with a smirk on his face and then closed my eyes with everyone else.

  A giddy sensation crept through my heart, warming it as
I held hands with my mother on one side, and Leona on the other. I knew exactly what we were doing and it was so traditional, I felt like I was having my first formal family dinner for the first time in my life.

  “Tonight we have one very special thing to be grateful for. A miracle and a dream that Nyx has blessed us with. The homecoming of our daughter, Claire. I have never been more happy since the night she was born. To Claire!”

  Everyone raised their glasses, turning toward me, smiles on their faces. Yet the hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end. Something didn’t feel right. I scanned the room, everyone looked genuinely happy. Was I just being paranoid?

  No, it was just my nerves. I was finally where I belonged, surrounded by my family. Nothing in my life had ever been this right before.

  Chapter_6

  I spent the next week exploring the Château and Naos. Arrick spent most of his time with the Blood Guard and my father, making their plans for what they would do. For a region that was preparing for war it was completely peaceful. I guess it made sense; telling the citizens would only cause mass hysteria. No point in causing everyone to go running in the streets, fearing for their lives.

  Some days my mother would join me in the gardens and talk to me about, well, about everything. She mostly wanted to know about my life. I told her how I grew up and about Liz. She could easily sense how much I missed my old life. I promised her that I was happy to be home and it was the truth.

  I wanted to ask her about bringing Robin, Dmitry and even Liz to come live here in Naos, but the timing wasn’t right. Plus, I was afraid to ask. I didn’t think it would upset her, but I was frightened of hearing the word no. Holding back the question meant I could hold onto the hope that she could someday say yes.

  Walking past the meeting room where the others were strategizing for the war, I saw how heated it was becoming. They had better come to a decision soon; I didn’t think that Ana or The Dark were going to be very patient. News that I was not longer at the palace must have definitely broke by now. All they needed to figure out was if I was their first target or if Nicolae was.