Heavy: A Bad Boy Next Door Romance

by Amelia Wilde

  She’d nodded her head.

  “Good for you,” my dad said, and I’d taken that as a sign that it was time to get started.

  Downstairs, I sat in front of my computer, typed out the final few sentences of my project, and sent it in, every last file. Degree completed.

  Then I’d hauled out the two big suitcases I bought in case of international travel when I was in college.

  I’d put a few things in, gathered up a few books, and decided I needed a better plan. But scribbling in a notebook for forty-five minutes made me realize I was tired from all the wine and that getting a good night’s sleep would be the best plan of attack.

  This morning is when it all really begins.

  I put another carefully folded top into the suitcase. My flight leaves at seven-thirty tomorrow morning out of the big airport just outside the city. I don’t even care that they charged me a fee to change my ticket. For the first time since the accident, I’m going to be going somewhere without the weight of the past on my shoulders.

  Well, maybe a little weight.

  The truth is that being timid, playing it safe, living at home—it didn’t matter in the end. Dangerous situations can still find you even if you live in the suburbs. And what would be the point of a life lived in fear of everything? And Sawyer—

  A lump comes to my throat.

  I could walk over there right now. He’s still staying with his aunt, as far as I can tell—the few times I’ve driven by, his car has been in the driveway. Every time it’s not, my heart sinks right down to my toes, then rebounds the next day when it’s back.

  It’s better this way. I tell it to myself again, out of habit. It’s better this way. Sawyer needs to spend time with his family, spend time with his dad, get back on his feet. And I—I walked away from him after he put himself between me and those men. Never mind that his younger self’s choices were what brought us there in the first place. My younger self has made plenty of shitty choices, too.

  I swallow down the lump, put one last shirt in the suitcase, and zip it tight.

  Done.

  I take both suitcases out to the living room and stand them up right in the center. I’ve left just enough clothes to go for a run tomorrow morning before I head to the airport. Carly is dropping me off. Then I have my traveling outfit, and everything else is packed to go.

  I take a slow turn around to survey the apartment—the cozy kitchen, the well-worn couch, the TV perched on the little entertainment center. My heart aches a little bit. Yes, it seemed suffocating to live with my parents, but this has been a good compromise. I have a nice savings account because of the cheap rent, and not everybody gets an extra few years with their parents.

  That thought brings Sawyer's face to mind again, and I shove it back down. I cannot stay hung up on him.

  Maybe I should go over and see him, one last time, and just…put things to rest before I fly across the country to start a new life.

  I can just see him by my side as I open the door to my new place. I don’t exactly have a new place yet, but I’ve got enough to stay in a cute hotel near Stanford for a couple of weeks while I figure it out. I can see him settling down on a couch we’ve chosen together.

  But even though Carly thinks it’s a great idea, I can’t bring myself to go knock on his door. He could anchor me here, and then I’d never get out. What would I do then? Live in the basement apartment and work at the library forever? Even if we got our own place, Greenville seems like something I need to be free from for a while, Sawyer or no Sawyer.

  There’s no Sawyer for you now.

  I sit down on the couch and lean back, sadness descending over my shoulders again.

  My phone buzzes next to me.

  Carly.

  One last girls’ night before you’re gone?

  I smile while I write her back.

  You know just what I need.

  Chapter 48

  Sawyer

  I rub a hand against my forehead and try to focus on the guy on the other end of the line.

  “—what was your name again?”

  “Sawyer Mitchell.”

  “Okay. Let me just check one more place…”

  “Listen, you’re not going to find anything on me there. I’ve been more of a…freelancer for the past few years.”

  “All right. Well…” I can hear him breathe in and out over the line.

  I’ve been on the phone with this guy—and at least three others—all day. I tried to start calling them at 9 a.m. Just when it was starting to piss me off that nobody was answering, I got a hold of my fucking self and realized that California is three hours behind.

  I can’t take it anymore. The waffling has gone on long enough. I know this is a long shot, I know this is probably a pipe dream, but I’ve been chasing down leads all day and this is the closest I’ve come to getting anywhere, with anyone.

  “Look—it’s Jason, isn’t it?”

  “Yep, Jason!” He sounds so damn chipper.

  “Are you under some kind of huge pile of applicants for a job like this?”

  “Well…” He hesitates. “Not really. But I do have a responsibility to properly vet all the candidates and make sure we’re making a fair choice according to all our laws and regulations—”

  “Give me an interview. You won’t be disappointed.”

  Jason doesn’t sigh out loud, but he’s probably a better man than I am. I’ve been calling all day. We’ve gone around about this a million times. “I’m just not sure if you’re qualified—”

  “Do you want to know the real story?”

  That brings him up short. “What?”

  “Here’s the real story. Here’s the real…” I take a big breath and get my voice under control. “The love of my life is going to work at Stanford. I almost lost her a few weeks ago because I got us involved in a…situation. Nobody was hurt—” Except maybe my cheekbone… “But it made her lose faith in me.” This is by far the dumbest thing I’ve ever done to try to get a job interview. “I’m just trying to prove to her that I can be the kind of person she wants me to be.”

  “By working a graveyard security shift at our engineering building?”

  “Jason, believe me when I say that I would work the graveyard shift at your public restrooms if that’s all you could offer me.”

  “This is just an entry-level position. I’m not sure exactly what kind of experience you had before—”

  “Think of it as a long-term security gig. I can’t go into any more details than that.”

  “You don’t have a criminal record, do you?”

  “No.”

  There’s a long pause. Then Jason makes up his mind. It’s nearing three o’clock, so it’s probably just about time for him to eat lunch. I’d want to get off the damn phone, too.

  “I’ll tell you what.” My heart leaps into my throat. “Write down this email.” He rattles off an email address and I scramble for a pencil, scribbling it down on the back of a receipt crumpled on the coffee table next to the couch. “Go to our website, download the temporary employment application, and send it to me. When are you going to be in town?”

  “Tomorrow morning. The flight lands before noon.”

  “Well, there’s no need to rush into—”

  “I can meet you at two.”

  “Okay. You send me that form, you meet me at two, and we’ll see about a trial for a couple weeks.”

  My chest practically explodes with happiness. “Are you serious?” It’s too loud, a shout that probably blows out his ears, but I don’t care.

  Jason laughs out loud, the sound echoing over the line. “Look, you wore me down. I don’t think anybody has ever wanted this job more than you do.”

  “Nobody has. I swear.”

  “I believe you. Okay, Sawyer. Get that email to me, and I’ll see you—tomorrow at two, I guess.” He sounds a little disbelieving, but that’s fine. He doesn’t have to believe me now. I’ll prove it to him tomorrow.

  “See
you tomorrow.” Then I hang up before he can change his mind.

  My hands tremble around my phone, and I toss it onto the couch cushions and stand up. I can’t fucking believe it. I’ve spent all day trying to sweet-talk people across the country into giving me a job, and some of them were worse than a late night security gig at the university. I’m sure there will be other hoops to jump through. I’m sure it will come along with plenty of its own bullshit. But this is the best I could hope for. This is more than I can hope for. This is a fresh start.

  The front door swings open and Aunt Linda comes in, a paper grocery bag in her arms. “What’s up with you?” A grin spreads across her face when she sees me.

  “I’m leaving.”

  Her mouth drops open a little bit. “You’re leaving? To go where?”

  “California.”

  “What?”

  I tell her the story as clearly as I can, and by the end she’s laughing along with me. “Sawyer, that’s great news.”

  Then my mood turns serious. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes! I’ve always thought you should—you should get out of town. Go somewhere new. Somewhere nice.”

  I run a hand through my hair. “Now might not be the best time, I guess.”

  She looks me dead in the eyes. “Are you going to follow Zelda?”

  Hearing her name sends a shiver through my core. I’m not sure if it’s fear or resignation or hope. Maybe all three. “Yeah. That’s what I’m doing. It could all crash and burn, but—”

  “This is something you have to do. Even your dad will be glad to hear this.”

  “What if he’s—what if he takes a turn for the worse?”

  “You don’t have to worry about that.”

  “I shouldn’t just leave, if—”

  “You absolutely should.” My aunt looks past me. “He’s doing better, these days. I don’t know why, but—” She shakes her head a little bit. “He’ll want you to go. He thinks you should have gone after her weeks ago.” A little grin creeps back onto her face. “She’s just down the street, and you’re going to follow her across the country.”

  “I thought I had more time.”

  “We always think we have more time. At least you got wise about it before time ran out.”

  “Wise—I don’t know about that.” We both laugh.

  Linda moves into the house, dropping the bags of groceries on the kitchen island. “Help me put these away. Then we’ll go tell him.”

  Chapter 49

  Zelda

  By the time my alarm goes off on Friday morning, I’ve already been staring at the ceiling for what seems like forever. I swipe the screen of my phone to turn it off and get out of bed.

  Finally. Time for the day to get started.

  It’s four-thirty in the morning, but the light outside is already lightening, the sky turning pink. June is my favorite month. The long days make it feel like you can get anything done before the sun sets.

  Including leave your old world behind.

  I slip into my running clothes, lace up my shoes, and head out the door. My nerves are on fire and I’m jittery, but by the time I’ve gone a mile, I can feel myself starting to settle down. A little bit. It might seem ridiculous to get up this early just to run, but it’s going to be a long flight and an even longer day. This will probably be the last peaceful time for a while, because once I land, it’s going to be one of those horrible adjustment periods.

  Exciting adjustment periods, I remind myself. This time, it’s exciting. I’m not running away from anything. I’m running—

  Well, right now I’m running in a big circle that leads straight back to my parents’ house, but there’s nothing symbolic about it. It’s just the route that I take.

  I haven’t had a chance to look up running routes near Stanford. I should do that.

  Without thinking, I take my usual route back home, which has me finishing right in front of Sawyer’s aunt’s house. His car is still in the driveway, and there are no lights on inside—no surprise, since it’s 5:15 a.m. I don’t hesitate when I run by. My heart tugs at me to go and knock on the door, but there’s no way I’m going to do it, and especially not now, at this hour. I straighten my back and pick up the pace for the last few strides into my parents’ driveway. I’m starting over. I’m starting over today.

  Inside, I give my heart a minute to slow down, then spring back into action. Carly’s going to be here at five forty-five, so I don’t have a million years to stand around reminiscing about all the times I’ve spent in this basement apartment, doing such exciting things as…homework and watching TV.

  And Sawyer.

  I let myself linger on those memories for just long enough to turn on the shower, and then I hop in. No more time for wallowing, just acting, and I’m ready to go.

  When Carly’s Taurus pulls into the driveway, I’m waiting outside the basement door sitting in one of my mom’s folding chairs, paperback in my lap, suitcases waiting next to me. I took my time drying my hair and piling it on top of my head in a delightfully messy bun. Then I went upstairs and had eggs and toast with my parents, who woke up early just for the occasion. And I still had time to spare.

  Carly climbs out at the same moment that the front door opens and closes, and my parents descend, my mom holding a paper plate full of cookies wrapped neatly in a plastic bag. We exchange long hugs, and they thank Carly profusely. My dad loads the bags into her trunk and I sling my oversized purse into the front seat. The small talk flies around me, barely registering, and I take a deep breath of the clean air. My heart twists a little in my chest. I will miss it here. That’s okay, I tell myself. You can always come back.

  “You ready to go, friend?” Carly looks radiant, as always, despite the fact that it’s the crack of dawn.

  “Let’s do it.”

  We trundle slowly down the street, past Sawyer’s aunt’s house, and she catches me looking. “We have time if you want to stop.”

  “For what?”

  “You know, a last talk…a last…” She lets her voice trail off, wriggling her eyebrows.

  And I think about it for a second. I really do…right up until I notice that his car is gone from the driveway.

  “He’s not there.”

  Carly sighs. “I guess it wasn’t meant to be.”

  I try to ignore the ache in my chest.

  It’s a fifteen minute drive to the airport, and on the way she plays our favorite stupid songs from the club.

  “I’m going to miss you,” I shout over the noise as we fly down the freeway.

  “I’m going to miss you, too,” she says with a big smile. “But you’re going to California. I’m going to visit so much you’ll get sick of me.”

  “Never!”

  “Ha!”

  Then she starts singing the chorus along with the song that’s playing, and that’s how we spend the last two miles before we reach the terminal.

  She pulls up to the curb right by the bag check for my airline, and helps me hoist the bags out, dragging them over to the agent there and charming him deeply in the process. They put tags on the suitcase handles and pull them back behind the counter. “These are all set,” the agent says, his smile white and perfect.

  “Thanks.”

  I give Carly a long hug, and someone who has pulled up behind her double-parked car honks. She looks me in the eyes. “You’re going to be great. But I have to go!” She reaches out one last time for another quick hug, and then she’s gone, waving an apology at the driver behind her.

  I’m on my own.

  In the airport, I check in at one of the automated kiosks, which prints out my boarding pass for me. The line to go through security isn’t very long, and I have plenty of time to make my way through. I sit down to lace up my shoes on the other side, then ride the moving walkways to my gate.

  People’s voices float in the air around me, blending together, and it reminds me of that night in the club, all the noise in the air becoming one wall of sound. It
reminds me of seeing Sawyer for the first time, silhouetted in the entrance. The way his eyes locked onto mine and didn’t let go.

  I take my phone out of my purse and hesitate. Maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe it’s foolish to try and leave Greenville without tying up this loose end.

  Bad idea…

  The thought sends a spiral of panic through my lungs. Oh, God, what if I regret this forever? Is a text enough? What if I leave right now and—

  I jump up before I can think it through, my fist clenched around the handle of my purse, and twist back around toward the moving walkways, colliding directly with a solid mass of a man who’s all muscle and smells just like—

  I raise my eyes to his, and my heart leaps into the stratosphere. When he smiles, a shockwave runs down from the top of my head to my toes. Tears spring to my eyes.

  “Hey.”

  It’s like we’re starting all over again.

  For the second time in minutes, my heart goes wild.

  Chapter 50

  Sawyer

  I have a bizarre fear that Zelda won’t have gone to the airport, but I go anyway. This morning, when I was lying awake, I decided that even if she canceled all her plans, I need to get the hell out of Greenville and away from the city. Regardless.

  But having her nearby would be excellent.

  More than excellent. It would be perfect.

  I could have another chance.

  We could have another chance.

  I left early, my aunt riding along with me in my car. We stopped by to see my dad, who enthusiastically endorsed my plan for the second time and told me to get the hell out of his house before I changed my mind.

  I’ll figure out what to do about the car once I’ve had a couple days in California to see how things go. Who the hell knows? I might be back in Greenville to pick it up sooner than I imagine. Or I might be back there permanently.