The Good, The Bad & The Dead | Book 1 | Once Upon A Time In An Undead World

by Grimes, A. L.

‘Thanks but I’ll keep it here next to me.’

  ‘Your choice,’ she replied.

  He returned to his task, pulling the bag further back in with him. She climbed off the cupboard, ‘Sentimental, my arse,’ she muttered to herself.

  *

  Eddie glanced into the hole that Laura had created. Ritchie was stumbling about without any purpose. He had reached out to Eddie several times but gave up when he realised he couldn’t reach. Eddie took the bundles to the main entrance. He lifted the lid.

  ‘Fucking hell,’ he said more to himself than the horde of dead that had amassed in the area below. They groaned in unison when they saw his edible face.

  ‘Right you fuckers, welcome to the barbecue.’ He lit the first of the bundles and let the flames take hold before he bowled it above the heads of the dead and down the stairs.

  ‘Fucking bullseye,’ he howled as the bundle found its target. The idea was to light up the house and cause a distraction at street level.

  ‘Fire in the hole,’ he shouted as he launched the second bundle. He laughed to himself, he’d not had this much fun since…well last night before the world went to shit. The bundles of flame had started to ignite the furniture at the bottom of the stairs. He dropped the third into the crowd below him, it wasn’t part of the plan but the other two bundles had taken care of that. He watched as the clothing of the dead caught fire. The flames didn’t bother them, they still reached out for him. He closed the hatch on them.

  He took the fourth bundle with him. He went to the other hole and looked down on Ritchie. He looked back. ‘You want to give me that look, go ahead,’ he said to the dead man below him.

  Eddie reached through, Ritchie reached up, Eddie dropped a bundle of burning rags into his arms. Ritchie didn’t know any different as the flames ignited his clothing and raced up his body engulfing his face. Eddie gazed in amazement as the skin blistered and began to peel away. The redness turned to black quickly. Laura smelt burning flesh. Eddie laughed and Laura had an idea of what he had done. Ritchie began to stumble about the room, not in pain merely confusion. His eyes popped; Eddie cackled.

  Ritchie staggered about the room, igniting fabric as he went. The thin cloth of the curtains was first to go. The flames had spread the length of Ritchie’s body, if he had been alive the flames would have immobilised him by now but Ritchie had died many hours ago and now he was a walking fireball. The flames spreading up the wall had become a distraction to Eddie, he was momentarily fascinated. He had been so occupied with further torturing dead Ritchie that he never gave thought to the room he was stumbling about in.

  Unknown to Ritchie, he was walking round the room that Eddie and his gang had used to make their petrol bombs the night before. It was an oversight in Eddie’s detoured plan. He grimaced when he heard the first hiss as a small amount of petrol ignited and erupted from a bottle. The flames flared as more succumbed to the heat.

  ‘Oh shit,’ he said as he scrambled from the hole.

  ‘What is it?’ Laura asked alarmed.

  Eddie scrambled through the hole, grabbing his bag as he jumped down. ‘I wouldn’t stay here if I was you,’ he said as he went past Laura.

  ‘Why, what have you done,’ he didn’t respond..

  Eddie had made haste when he noticed the three red gas bottles stored in the room. The heat sent the first one upwards, creating a new hole in both the ceiling and roof. The second obliterated the window and created the distraction they needed; the dead followed the sound of clanking metal. The third put paid to Ritchie’s misery. It caught him just below the chin. The impact separated his charcoaled head from his body and put a huge hole in the wall, the rest of Ritchie’s skull was somewhere in there.

  Laura jumped when the first cylinder crashed through wood and slate. She heard the second crash down the street and she feared the thud from the third was going to bring both houses down to their foundations. Before she left the room she could see the flames licking the attic, it wouldn’t be long before they made their way into all the houses. She closed the door behind her. In the lounge Eddie was peering through the curtains.

  ‘Look,’ he said. ‘They’re moving away.’

  ‘Let’s get a shift on then,’ she replied.

  Eddie had packed the bag with some of the food they had gathered. They cleared the furniture that blocked the door quietly. He opened the door slowly and peered out, the crowd was moving away from them. They crept across the road towards the van. The blaze had begun to spread across the tops of the houses. Slates and tiles slid down and crashed to the floor. The dead were alert to the noise. They reached the van, Eddie at the driver’s side.

  ‘Toss me the keys,’ he said to Laura.

  ‘You’re kidding,’ she said. ‘I don’t have them.’

  A few of the dead had noticed them and turned in their direction. Eddie smiled and swung the keys around his finger. Laura glared. He pressed the button and released the central locking; the lights flashed and caught the attention of more of the dead. They both jumped in, Eddie turned the key and the engine spluttered into life.

  ‘Were are we going to go?’ asked Laura.

  ‘I don’t know, let’s head for the motorway. I’ve got a mate we can stop in and see on the way. Wayne’s a top bloke but his missus Clare won’t be too happy to see me.’

  ‘I imagine you get that a lot,’ replied Laura.

  Chapter Fifty

  Seaforth, The Lakeside Hotel.

  Ben and Claudia’s energy was beginning to fade. The pushing and shoving with the dead was taking its toll. Ben had instructed Claudia to grab a couple of minutes respite from the strenuous activity of fighting to stay alive. He rested his back into the frame of the window and anchored his foot onto the handrail of the stairs.

  ‘We can’t keep this up forever,’ she said.

  ‘Tell me something I don’t know,’ he replied sarcastically. Another shove jolted him forward, he pushed back hard.

  Claudia took the hammer and clanged against the padlock that secured the door leading up to the roof. ‘It won’t budge,’ she said.

  ‘Yes, I know…I tried before. It’s one of those padlocks designed against such a hit’. Another surge of the dead forced him forward. Claudia jumped back into the fight. Tom turned placing his hands on the window frame, assessing the dire situation.

  He could see seven of the dead, two were slapping the window, the others were the heave behind the shove. The five pushed, the two slapped the window…he watched the rhythm.

  ‘I’ve got an idea,’ he said to Claudia.

  ‘Will it be better than the idea that landed us out here,’ she replied with more than an edge to her voice. His responding smile was a half-cocked one. ‘Shit, I guess you best tell me then.’

  So Ben told her. ‘I don’t like the sound of that,’ she replied. ‘You actually want me to open the window wide when he, I mean that?’ She said pointing at the dead thing growling at her. ‘While you pull them out one by one and smash their skulls in’.

  ‘Yes,’ he replied holding up the hammer in response.

  ‘Are you fucking serious,’ she said waving her hands in front of his face. The dead pushed as she moved to remonstrate. Just as quick her weight was back against the window.

  ‘I am and it’s the best chance we have before we get tired or catch pneumonia,’ he watched the movements. ‘Now,’ he yelled.

  Ben let go of the window, Claudia hauled it open as the dead man slapped, he lurched forward. Ben grabbed him by his shirt and yanked him out onto the steel grating. Two swift crushing blows and the lifeless body was flung down the metal steps.

  ‘Impressive,’ she said.

  ‘Again,’ he replied.

  Two down, five to go.

  One by one Claudia opened the window, Ben grabbed, smashed and tossed them down the metal stairs. The dead at the bottom groaned as their kin crashed into the metal gate at the bottom.

  Unknown to Ben and how could he really know how his enthusiasm to throw
the dead bodies down the steps with such force, showing how his plan had worked would actually demonstrate his failure.

  The gate at the bottom of the stairs was not actually locked. The final body bounced, clanged and finally crunched into the metal door, it opened just an inch…an inch was all it took.

  ‘Fuck,’ was all that Ben could muster. Claudia made that face that people do in surprise as her response.

  They both watched as the first mottled fingers crept around the edge of the door. They simultaneously held their breaths as the door creaked open further. The face that peered around the door was by far the worst they had encountered. It was a huge man, a bushy beard that had been torn from his left side. His jawbone and teeth were visible. His left eye was no longer in its socket but hanging limply just above the gaping wound. As the door opened wider his huge frame came into full view.

  ‘Mother of Christ,’ said Ben. ‘It’s Hagred of the dead.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Harry Potter, the giant that lived in the woods.’

  ‘I don’t give a shit, what the fuck are we going to do?’ She asked.

  ‘I am going back in through the window,’ said Ben.

  ‘No we are not,’ she replied pointing through the glass.

  Further down the hall the rest of the dead were pouring through the door. There was no way they could both get back to the room before the dead reached them.

  ‘This isn’t going to end well,’ said Claudia convincingly.

  Ben scanned his surroundings. One locked gate barring their route to the roof. A small army of the dead advancing towards them along the internal corridor and what was once a man with possible bear DNA advancing up the stairs towards them. Then he saw it. He had missed it earlier. Claudia screeching constantly, the dead moaning and the rain pissing down had dulled his senses. They were firing now.

  ‘Look,’ he said pointing to a rail on the other side of the locked door.

  ‘What good is that?’ She replied.

  ‘I missed it before because I was focussing on keeping the window shut. We can stand on the handrail and jump, it’s only a small jump.’ He said.

  ‘I’m not as tall as you,’ she responded.

  ‘I’ll go first, I can make that jump. Then you make the jump and I’ll be there to catch you. It’s risky but we can’t fight both angles. Besides, I think the hammer would break if I hit him with it.’

  ‘What’s stopping you from just leaving me,’ she grabbed at him as he put his foot on the handrail.

  He stopped momentarily,’ Are you serious, we have no other choice. I’ll be right there,’ he said pointing to the spot on the side where he expected to land. He placed his hand on her shoulder as reassurance.

  ‘Promise me, you will get me across,’ she said smiling warmly.

  ‘I promise,’ he replied. Ben meant every word of the promise he had just made. He grabbed the side of the gated door and pulled himself up onto the handrail.

  The dead advanced along the corridor, below him a small group had gathered and Hagred the dead continued to clamber over the lifeless bodies. The closer he got the bigger he looked and the scarier he was.

  ‘Here goes,’ he said as he launched himself into the open air. He arched his body mid-flight and let go of the gated door. As his right hand left the door, his left connected with the opposite handrail. He brought his right hand around quickly and grabbed hold. The momentum carried him forward and he banged his knees into the hard metal. He grimaced but held on firmly. He lifted himself over, caught a breath and motioned for Claudia to get moving.

  ‘I’m not sure I can do that,’ she said.

  ‘See if Hagred can give you a lift when he arrives,’ he said sarcastically and aiming at motivation.

  The inside dead were almost at the window. Hagred was three steps from the top. Claudia grabbed the door and hoisted herself up. She gave a couple of practice swings. Ben gave her time; she knew what was coming after her.

  Her legs threatened to give way with nerves. Hagred moved another step closer. She launched herself as the first slap vibrated off the window.

  She jumped better than she expected as her hand grabbed the slippery rail. Her leap of faith was not as confident as Ben’s. Her trailing arm came around to slow and she knew it. She felt the adrenaline surge and her grip tightened on the rail, however her flailing hand wasn’t going to make it. She felt the panic take over.

  Ben had anticipated her trajectory, he was waiting. He reached out and enveloped her flapping arm and secured it tightly with his. She wrapped her hand around his forearm. Hargred the dead, reached at the same time and caught her left ankle as she swung around.

  Claudia’s eyes met Ben’s; he could just about smell her breath she was that close. He noticed the fear, the muffled scream that crept from the back of her throat. He could see Hagred’s dead hand wrapped around her ankle. His peripheral vison watched her hand fall from the rail.

  Ben choked a little on his own scream.

  Chapter Fifty-One

  Near the port, Seaforth.

  They arrived near the beach out of breath, sweaty and covered in others blood. They had a few skirmishes with the dead and the living on the way. Some wanted to eat them, others wanted to steal their possessions and one small balding cretin tried to abduct Billie-Jo in clear view. Lola’s muzzle had been removed by this stage; she was more an asset by barking when she sensed trouble. She bit the abductor on the nose as his short arms tried to envelope Billie-Jo. She followed up with a couple of ball bursting kicks to the groin area. Tom who was busy fighting off a few of the undead, heard the man cry as he crumpled to the floor.

  He held his nose and his balls. ‘Your bitch of a daughter attacked me. I was only trying to help.’

  Tom walked towards him as he pulled his sword from the eye socket of the last standing dead. He was about to correct the man but decided against it. ‘Not from where I was standing,’ he replied.

  ‘Yeah, you old perv. You were trying to kidnap me,’ Lola barked her agreement.

  The man moved quick. He reached around and pulled a kitchen knife from the small of his back, he aimed it at Tom. Billie-Jo was quicker.

  The man’s hand fell from the rest of his arm, blood squirting in several directions. His screaming was deafening. Tom stuck the wet end of his sword into the screaming hole.

  ‘Let’s move,’ he said as more of the dead had been attracted by the noise.

  ‘I see you didn’t correct him, dad,’ she said with a huge smile.

  He walked away giving her the finger, smiling to himself and blocking out the voice that was about to comment.

  Further on they encountered a group of feral teenagers on their travels. Tom was certain they had been that way prior to the apocalypse. They had skeleton masks pulled across their faces, moody eyes watching. Skuls had been painted across the backs of their black parkas. They had made some comment about taking Billie-Jo, she had never been this popular before the world went to shit.Two well aimed swipes of her sword and one of the snot noses fingers flew in all directions. Lola licked her lips. The other lost a Nike trainer and half a leg with it. The rest left in a hurry as a group of the dead advanced. Tom congratulated Billie-Jo on her use of his sword, she took a bow and they moved on towards the beach.

  They entered a local shop on the way. They killed the owner who was already dead and helped themselves to an assortment of chocolate bars and fizzy drinks. Billie-Jo tossed several tins of dog food into her backpack and a couple of dog treats into the snapping jaws of Lola.

  A scrawny man bumped into them as they exited the shop, Tom knocked him on his arse and was about to skewer him until he squealed and insisted, he had ran out of cigarettes. They heard him squeal a few minutes later when he bumped into the dead.

  They stayed low, weaving in and out of parked cars, a couple of occupied buses and an overturned milk float that had trapped its driver underneath. An undead undertaker walked past them; they both raised an eyebrow each in iron
y. They could hear the living screaming, crying and on one occasion they were fairly sure they heard someone laughing. Whichever direction they looked a scene of death and misery met their stare. The general public had not been ready for an army of the undead, an army that was multiplying.

  They watched as a young woman raced across the road with a shopping trolley full of groceries. She looked intent on staying holed up until the apocalypse settled down a bit. She hit the kerb with such speed and power that the force caused the trolley to topple and catapult her with influence over the handrail. She landed with quite a crash. The noise attracted the dead. Tom and Billie-Jo, accompanied by Lola were about to go to the woman’s aid when a hand reached out low, grabbed her ankle and took a bloody chunk out of her calf. She stamped the dead creature’s face into the pavement. Tom placed an arm on Billie-Jo, whispering it was too late.

  It didn’t stop her from getting up and helping the woman right the trolley. The woman thanked her and went on her way. When Tom asked why she had put herself at risk, she had explained that the woman may have had children at home that needed the food. Tom stated to Billie-Jo that was the same reason he had not intervened. The penny dropped, she tried to reason with Tom to go after the woman. Tom held her back, Lola yapped at him.

  It was Tom’s idea to get on a boat with some supplies and sit out some of the madness. He was also curious regarding the explosion he had heard earlier. He figured the docks would be their best bet until he saw it swarming with undead workers. The docks were gated off and could prove a useful base if he could clear the dead. It might mean him having to recruit some more members of his small band. He wasn’t sure he was in the mood for trusting too many people, he’d never liked that many before it all went crazy. He had an idea to get to the lighthouse at the end of the beach and observe the docks, formulate a plan then take it over.

  More often than not, his ideas never went according to plan. This one was no different. They navigated a path through some of the dead, chopping, hacking and stabbing while Lola did plenty of yapping. A car sped around a corner, Tom pushed Billie-Jo out the way, she took the brunt of the fall to her shoulder as she protected Lola. Tom was less fortunate. He instinctively launched himself into the air as the car connected. He hit the windscreen hard and barrelled over the top of the car and onto the road behind. The car sped up the road faster before the shattered windscreen caused the driver to lose control and plough into a parked car. The driver exited the car through the windscreen and landed with a smear across the parked car. The alarm went off before both cars burst into flames. Moments later more of the dead found their way to the scene.