Mirror, Mirror

by Laura McConaughay

“What do you mean?” the princess asked, curiously.

  “Well, it is his job,” said Marya. The princess laughed at the mild joke, then went back to preparing for her day’s outing.

  As the young girl turned away, the polite smile slid off of Marya’s face. The bitterness crept back into her eyes as she stared at the princess’ back. The girl was very young and lovely, just as Marya herself used to be. Looking at her now, Marya was sharply reminded of the padding and lacing that was required to maintain her own figure, and of the powders and dyes that she had hidden in her own rooms. It was several years now since she had first ordered that fewer candles be lit each evening, claiming frugality but really just wanting to use the shadows to mask the lines on her face, and several of the castle‘s mirrors had been banished to empty closets and storerooms.

  “I still think that you ought to take someone with you,” Marya said finally, summoning the smile again in case the princess turned around. “But if you’re quite certain that you’ll be safe, I won’t say any more about it.” She felt safe saying this, as she knew quite well how the princess would respond.

  “Oh, Aunt, you’re so old-fashioned. Nothing bad has happened in that forest for years. I’m not even convinced that anything ever did happen - it was all probably just stories made up to scare little children.” She came over to stand in front of Marya again, and lightly put her hands on Marya’s arms. “I’ll be perfectly safe. Don’t worry.”

  “Of course you will,” said Marya, her smile widening a little bit. “And I won’t.”

  With that, Marya turned and left the room, closing the door softly behind her. As she stood there for a moment, she could hear muffled singing coming from within the room. She waited another moment to gather herself, then began walking once more down the gallery, forcing herself to maintain a stately pace.

  Though her movements were slow, her face glowed with energy and purpose. The idea had come to her weeks ago, and she had made all of the preparations that could be made. All she had needed was an opportunity to put her plan into action. She had been waiting for the right moment for days, and that moment had finally arrived - and in the unexpected form of Berthe‘s cold, no less.

  The walk from the gallery down to the stables seemed to take forever, but Marya managed to keep to her usual slow and steady tread, while at the same time trying to suppress the excitement that was bubbling up within her. Finally she arrived, and was able to ask the stable boy to find Tomas and tell him that she wished to see him in the morning room.

  Years ago, when he was just a small child, Tomas had been caught poaching on the king’s lands and had been sentenced by the small court to have his thumbs cut off. He had quite naturally burst into loud and gusty tears at the news, and Marya, who had happened to be passing by, had heard him and come to see what was going on. She had found a dirty, scrawny and half-starved lad who was by all appearances being terrorized by the small court officials.

  Her compassion had been stirred, and she had given the officials a fierce scolding before taking the boy away with her. The men had tried to interfere, explaining that he was guilty of poaching and was no good besides, but Marya had ignored them.

  Amelia was still alive at that time, and Marya had gone straight to her, to ask her to intercede on the child’s behalf. Amelia had a soft spot for all children, and this unprepossessing lad was no exception. The queen had quickly agreed to speak to the king about it, and before the day was out Tomas had been reprieved and placed in Marya’s care.

  Marya had seen to it that the boy was fed, cleaned and clothed, and for a time after that she was at something of a loss as to what to do with him next. Fortunately, Tomas himself had some very clear ideas about what he wanted to do with his life, which he summarized into two points: becoming the best hunter in the world, and serving Marya, whom he regarded as his savior.

  Tomas was accordingly apprenticed with a woodsman, and had grown up to be a skilled forester and huntsman. He had never again poached on the king’s lands - or at least, he was never again caught and charged with it - and he never swerved in his devotion to the lady Marya. He had a small room above the castle stables, and the queen often called upon him to perform small tasks for her, which he was always happy to do. This morning however, she had a much larger task to ask of him.

  As Marya waited for Tomas in the empty morning room, she paced back and forth across the length of the chamber. A nervous energy filled her, and she did not trouble to hide it now that there was no one to see. As each minute passed, her nervousness and worry increased, and she knew that she would have no rest until the task was done.

  When there was a knock at the door she jumped, and her heart began to race. Giving herself a little shake, she called out, “Come in!”

  The door opened, and Tomas stepped inside, bowing as he did so. “You wished to see me, my lady - I mean, your majesty?”

  “Yes, I did,” Marya answered. She had one hand at her throat, and she could still feel her rapid pulse. “Thank you for coming, Tomas. I am in need of your help with something…with something most important.”

  Tomas bowed again, more eagerly, and answered, “Of course, your majesty, you know you have only to ask.”

  “This task is most important, as I said,” she went on. “Also most secret. Once I tell you what it is, you must not ask me any questions about it, nor tell anyone anything about it. Nobody, do you understand?”

  Tomas frowned in concern, but nodded. Satisfied, Marya gave a little nod of her own and continued.

  “The princess is going to be spending the day picking wildflowers in the forest,” she said, beginning to pace again, but slowly. She spoke carefully, selecting and enunciating each word with precision. “I need you to fetch her. No one must see you leave, and no one must see you return with her. As far as anyone else is concerned, she will simply disappear in the woods, and never be seen again.”

  She paused for a moment, watching his frown deepen as the meaning of her words began to sink in.

  “When you do return, you will bring your burden to me in the tower room. Again, you must be careful - no one must see you, nor what you bring to me.”

  The frown seemed to be etched into Tomas’ face at this point, and he hesitated, clearly wanting to ask questions, but just as clearly remembering that he had promised not to do so.

  “You want to ask me why, don’t you?” Marya asked with a certain amount of sympathy for his confusion.

  Tomas nodded, and Marya gave a small, brittle laugh as she thought about all of her reasons. She did not want to share those reasons with Tomas however, so she replied flippantly.

  “I have need of her heart.”

  Tomas’ frown faded and his face paled, but he did not speak. He swallowed once or twice, then managed a nod, then a bow, and left the room.

  Marya stood still, looking after him curiously. His reaction had confused her, and she felt a small twitch of doubt. She began to worry that he had guessed what she meant to do, but a few minutes’ reflection convinced her that he could not possibly have figured it out. Even if he had, she could not have let this opportunity pass by.

  It was perfect, she was certain. If the princess disappeared while picking flowers in the forest, no one would ever think of seriously searching the castle. They would perhaps check the princess’ room to make sure she hadn’t returned there, but they would never think of looking in the tower room. The obvious answer would be that the young girl had been killed by wild animals, or kidnapped by bandits, or any one of the other dangerous things that could befall people who entered the forest unguarded.

  Time and again Marya had been tempted to have the girl snatched up from within the castle - it would have been so convenient, being that close to the tower stairs already, and the girl’s trusting nature would have made it so simple. But the hallways were always full of servants, and the princess was almost never alone. Besides which, if the girl had vanished from within the castle, the search would never have ended, and Ma
rya might not have had enough time to finish what she needed to do before someone thought to look in the tower room.

  No, she thought to herself, this was much better. The king’s daughter would go out into the forest unaccompanied, against her aunt’s advice, and then would tragically disappear, never to be seen again. Then, piercing the king’s undoubted grief at the loss of his daughter, Marya would bring a ray of hope and love into his life, by presenting him with a son.

  It wouldn’t be murder, Marya told herself, as she had told herself countless times before in the past few weeks. She wouldn’t be killing the girl. All she was going to do was take the girl’s life force and transfer it to a different form, to the form of a baby boy. It certainly wasn’t murder - it was just changing shapes. Besides, it was her own life force that had created the girl in the first place, so by rights that life was hers, and should belong to her son.

  The arguments and justifications continued to roll around in her head, just as they had every day and every hour since the plan had first come to her. Every time she repeated them, and every time she heard them, Marya believed them a little bit more.

  The only thing she still worried about was the memories - would her son grow up still having the princess’ memories? Would he remember what she had done? If he did, would he be more upset about the lost life of the princess, or be more grateful for the gained life of the prince?

  She told herself that the memories would not be transferred, but she could not be certain. In the end though, she didn’t think it would matter, and Marya reassured herself by repeating her reasons, which in her eyes justified her entire plan and all its aspects. The kingdom needed an heir. The king needed an heir. She needed to give the king a son.

  Marya emerged from her reverie with a snap, and blinked rapidly to clear her eyes. She breathed deeply, composing her features once again into an expression of calm serenity, then left the morning room. She finished her morning’s work quickly, then claimed to have a headache and asked not to be disturbed.

  She made sure that no one was watching, then retreated to her tower room. She climbed the stairs rapidly, and when she reached the top she was breathing heavily from excitement as much as exertion. She immediately crossed the room towards the window, pushing it open and looking outside.

  Below, she could see the castle grounds, surrounded by the village. Looming beyond that was the forest, deep and dark and stretching out as far as the eye could see. Somewhere down there in that mass of green was the princess, and the huntsman who was searching for her. Marya sighed contentedly, then turned away from the window.

  The tower room was dusty with disuse, and cluttered with items that she hadn’t wanted to keep in her suite downstairs, but hadn’t wanted to throw away either. In one corner, dropcloths covered a small table, an old sofa, and the big pier glass that had started to give too honest a reflection in recent years. Another corner had a trunk full of old clothing, and there were piles of discarded books and papers strewn about.

  Marya had cleared away the center of the room with her own hands, and had set up the preparations for her spell on a table that reposed there. All of the components - except for the girl of course - were ready and waiting for her, and as she looked at them she felt a thrill course up her spine.

  Marya had not used her spellcraft in quite some time. The king had always disapproved of it, and in her desire to please him she had stopped using it. When the plan had first come to her, she had been worried at first, fearing that the magic had disappeared from her blood through disuse. As soon as she had begun setting the spell up however, that worry had disappeared. The power was still there. Once dormant, but now awakening, she could feel it burning in her veins.

  As she stood smiling at the items on the table, Marya felt a little rush of gratitude that she was not going to need snow for this spell. She didn’t think that she would have been able to wait until the next winter. Fortunately, transferring a life was different than creating a completely new one, and the water she had gathered from the spring floods would work perfectly well, if not better.

  Time passed slowly, and Marya waited impatiently for Tomas to return. She often went to the window to stare out at the forest, but she didn’t dare leave the tower, not even when the hour for lunch came and went. Hungry, anxious, and intent, she awaited the huntsman’s return, and the fruition of her plan.

  At long last there was a soft tapping at the door, followed immediately by the door being swung open. Tomas stepped inside, looking if possible even paler than when Marya had last seen him, and looking slightly nauseous too. He stood there, trembling slightly, then reached out and placed a small bundle in Marya’s hands.

  Marya took the bundle questioningly, wondering why on earth Tomas would choose this moment to give her a present. She unwrapped the bundle, pulling back layer after layer of thin leather until she revealed a still freshly bleeding heart.

  She dropped the heart in horror, and it landed with a quiet but sickening splat on the floor. Bile rose in her throat, and she ran for a basin of wash water that had been set up on one side of the room. She bent over the bowl, choking and trying desperately to not be sick.

  Coughing and choking and breathing raggedly for a few minutes, Marya felt the nausea slowly recede from her stomach, though she didn’t dare look upon the heart again. As the feeling of sickness subsided, fury rose to take its place. Once she was able to speak, she swung around and glared at Tomas, who was still standing helplessly by the door.

  “You fool!” she shouted, too angry to care if anyone heard her. “You idiot, you…murderer!”

  Tomas took a frightened step backwards and bumped into the door. “I, that is, I mean I…” he began saying, but Marya didn’t give him a chance to continue.

  “How could you do such a thing?!” she demanded furiously. “I never said that you should kill her! She needed to be alive,” Marya continued frantically, more to herself than to him. “How am I ever going to…what am I going to do now?”

  “My lady,” Tomas managed to say, his voice desperate and frightened. He took two long steps forward and fell to his knees in front of Marya, who twinged at first lest he land on the fallen heart, but he did not. “My lady, please, listen to me!”

  “Listen to you!” Marya began, but could not find words to go on.

  “Please, forgive me!” Tomas implored. “I disobeyed what I thought were your orders, yes, but indeed I am not a murderer.” He stopped for a moment, glancing down at the heart beside him with an expression of near relief, then added forcefully, “The princess is still alive. I did not kill her.” With that, he fell silent and hung his head, waiting for his judgment.

  Marya stared down at his bent head, her mind blank for a long moment. Then his words began to bounce around in her mind, and she drew in a long, sibilant breath. She held it for a moment, then spoke quietly.

  “What do you mean?”

  Tomas looked up at her briefly, hope flaring for a moment in his eyes. Then he dropped his head again. “The princess is alive, your majesty,” he repeated.

  “I think that you had better explain yourself, Tomas,” Marya said after another pause.

  “Yes, my lady,” Tomas replied at once. He took a moment to put his thoughts in order, then began his story. “I should explain that when you gave me your orders, I thought that you wanted me to kill the princess and bring her heart to you. I don’t know what I was thinking, because of course you could never have wanted anything like that, but you told me not to ask any questions and so…” Tomas trailed off for a moment, then regathered himself to continue.

  “In any case, I left the castle as you bade me, without anyone seeing me. I found the princess easily enough, for she had not gone very far into the woods. I…I drew my knife, meaning to kill her like I thought you wanted, but…I couldn’t do it. Then she saw my knife, and screamed, and ran.

  “I was too shaken to do anything at first, then, once I had realized that no matter what I wasn’t going to b
e able to bring myself to kill her, I tried looking for her. I looked for hours, my lady, I honestly did, but after the first hundred yards or so there just wasn’t any sign of her.”

  Marya closed her eyes briefly, as she tried to decide whether this turn of events was a blessing or a curse. Tomas gave her another swift, upward glance, then hurried on with his story.

  “Eventually I had to give up the search, and I realized that I had utterly failed you. I…didn’t think I could bear you knowing how badly I had done, so I…well, I found and killed a small boar instead. I thought that if you really only needed the princess’ heart, that maybe I could fool you into thinking that the boar’s heart was really the girl’s, and so…” As he finished, he gave a little jerk of his head in the direction of the heart on the floor.

  Marya’s stomach churned a little as she followed the gesture and looked at the heart. “You certainly did fool me,” she said, a bit dryly.

  “I am sorry, my lady,” Tomas said humbly. “But,” he added with a brightening of aspect. “At least the princess is alive, and you want her to be that way.”

  “Yes,” Marya said slowly, turning her head to look out the window at the forest. “Yes, of course.” She turned back to fix Tomas with a stern look. “And as for you, the next time you think that I want you to kill someone, you ask me first. Understand?” She smiled to let him know that he was forgiven.

  Tomas smiled back, giddy relief shining in his eyes as he laughed at her attempt at humor. “Yes, my lady,” he said. “I mean, your majesty. I‘m so glad that - I mean, I knew that you couldn‘t actually want the princess to have been killed.”

  “Thank you, Tomas,” Marya said.

  “But what should we do now?” he went on to say, his relief fading back into concern. “I mean about the princess being lost in the forest? Should I tell somebody?”

  “No,” replied Marya sharply. “I told you, nobody can know anything about what happened today, even if it didn’t work as intended.”

  Tomas looked doubtful for a moment, and Marya spoke again to drive her point home.