In Your Arms

by Shannyn Schroeder

  Emma checked her watch. She’d planned to go home, but it would be shitty to leave without even saying hi to Sean. Kind of defeated the whole purpose of him inviting her. She followed Norah out.

  The night air was warm, but a cool breeze kicked up and tossed her hair around. She tugged it back behind her ears and crossed her arms. “Back in school yet?” she asked Norah.

  “Yep. Started last week. I didn’t get much of a break because I took a couple of classes over the summer to try to catch up. Taking time off wasn’t the smartest move.”

  “Why’d you take time off? Do anything exciting?”

  “Had a baby.”

  Emma’s jaw dropped. She had no idea. She hadn’t seen any sign of a baby in Sean’s house. “Wow. I didn’t know you’re a mom.”

  “I’m not. I had Ella and gave her up for adoption. It’s hard to believe she’s almost a year old. Want to see a picture?” Norah started scrolling through her phone as if a yes was a given.

  Emma leaned closer to see the phone. A beautiful baby girl with Norah’s eyes lit the screen. “She’s gorgeous.”

  “Yeah, she is.”

  “So you stay in touch with the adoptive parents?”

  “It was an open adoption. I’m not ready to be a mom, but I like to bring her presents and hang out with her sometimes. Like a cool aunt.”

  “I bet you’re an awesome aunt.” Emma was amazed by Norah. She seemed so together that Emma couldn’t imagine her getting pregnant unexpectedly. “So Kai was on board with the adoption?”

  “Ella’s not his. We met when I was pregnant.”

  Emma listened to Norah talk and immediately felt a connection with the woman whose life had been every bit as screwed up as Emma’s. Emma looked at the O’Malley household in a whole new light.

  Deep voices boomed from the doorway to their right. A bunch of the team spilled out into the parking lot, Norah’s boyfriend, Kai, towering over them and homing in on her immediately. Sean was at his side and strode with the same kind of man-on-a-mission look. Emma’s blood warmed at the look he sent her.

  Kai wrapped a beefy arm around Norah and pulled her off her feet while he kissed her. Sean stepped close, all the way into Emma’s space, but didn’t touch her. It was almost like he wasn’t sure if it was okay.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “Great game.”

  “Thanks.” He spoke while staring at her mouth, the only indication that he wanted to kiss her.

  She smiled and leaned close to whisper, “It’s okay to kiss me.”

  “Thank God.” He dropped his bag and pressed her body fully to his before taking her mouth. Hard to believe they’d spent the last two nights together. He acted as though they hadn’t so much as kissed in months. He released her. “Sorry. I’m pumped after a game.”

  She licked her lips. She liked seeing him pumped about something. Sean was always so easygoing, he didn’t seem to truly care about much.

  “We’re going out to celebrate. You coming?”

  She grimaced. “I can’t. I’m going home. I have work tomorrow.”

  “One drink. Then we’ll leave.”

  She shook her head. The man tempted her. “I can’t drink on a school night. You have any idea how loud kindergartners are? And the energy. It’s never-ending. I have to be on my game.”

  He frowned and it was nearly a pout. Emma laughed. “Go have fun with your friends. We’ll catch up some other time.”

  His fingers tugged on the waistband of her jeans. “I’d rather have fun with you.”

  “I can’t go out.”

  “Can I come home with you?”

  She sighed. She should say no. If the last two nights were any indication, he’d keep her up well past her bedtime. His index finger stroked not quite innocently under her shirt, dipping into her jeans. “Fine, but I get up early.”

  “I’ll meet you there. I’m stopping to grab some food. You want anything?”

  “No. I already ate.”

  “See you soon.” He kissed her with a quick press of his lips.

  Emma drove home and took a fast shower. She’d just stepped out when her door buzzed. “Damn. That man has awful timing.”

  She left her apartment door open and ran downstairs in her towel. Through the window in the front door, she saw Sean’s smile. She opened the door.

  “I like being greeted this way.”

  “Funny. I just got out of the shower.”

  He carried a brown bag that he waved in her direction. “Be nice and I’ll share my fries with you.”

  “I can’t eat fries right before going to bed. I’ll gain ten pounds without thinking about it.” She jogged back up the stairs and into her apartment.

  Sean’s laughter echoed behind her. “You’re worried about gaining weight? You eat cake whenever you’re having a bad day.”

  “A piece of cake, and never right before bed.”

  “You can eat some fries. You’re not going to bed yet. I can think of a few ways to burn those calories before sleep.” He plopped on her couch and patted the cushion next to him.

  Emma went to her room and pulled on a long T-shirt. By the time she returned to the living room, Sean had already finished half a burger and was watching TV like he was at home.

  When she sat next to him, he said, “You want to go for a ride in the morning? We can dump my car off and pick up the bike.”

  “I told you I’m working.” Then she thought about the offer. “Aren’t you working?”

  “Nope. I quit. Or got fired. Not sure how to count that one.”

  “What?”

  He lifted a careless shoulder. “I wanted time off last week for an out-of-state bike ride. Dominick said come in to work or don’t come back.”

  Emma’s heartbeat quickened. “Why would you do that?”

  “I wanted to go on the ride.”

  Emma’s brain scrambled for a reason that would be good enough to pick a bike ride over having a job. She failed. “How are you going to live? Pay your bills?”

  “I have money in the bank. I’ll get a job soon. It never takes long. Dom was my third boss this year.”

  “How freaking old are you? Don’t you think you should have more stability than that by now?” As soon as the questions left her mouth, she knew they were a mistake. She had no right to tell him how to live his life. They weren’t in a real relationship where his career status would impact her. She quickly waved a hand. “I’m sorry. Forget I said anything. It’s none of my business.”

  “It’s okay.” He leaned back on the couch. “I’ll be fine. Always am.”

  She nodded and curled next to him. She’d heard similar words her whole life from her mom. Hearing them from Sean reminded her why they wouldn’t be together long.

  * * *

  Sean settled into the couch and tried to gloss over Emma’s words. She’d sounded so much like Jimmy, for a minute he’d felt like he was at home. She curled next to him and he put his arm around her. “I really will be okay. I’m a mechanic. We’re a dime a dozen. It’s not that hard to get a job.”

  “If you’re a dime a dozen, doesn’t that mean there’s a lot of competition?”

  He’d never thought about it like that. “I guess. I’ve always landed on my feet. I’ll have something by next week.”

  “Don’t you ever want something more than just finding a job? Then moving on to the next?”

  He shrugged. “I fix cars. That’s what I do. What else am I supposed to want?”

  “I don’t know. Forget I asked.”

  He stroked his fingers up her arm. “Why did you decide to go back to school?”

  “Huh?”

  “You told me why you decided to be a teacher, but you were done with high school and out in the world. What made you go back?”

  She stiffened next to him, and he thought she might not answer. Instead, she shifted, turning her body to face him. “I was twenty, still living with Brandi, working illegally at the bar for cash under the table, partying eve
ry night because I had nothing better to do. Then, one day, I got home after a long night of partying and I found all of our stuff on the lawn. Brandi hadn’t paid the rent, even though I’d given her my share.” She made a face. “Granted, Nicky probably hadn’t, but she could’ve kept the landlord off our backs if she’d paid something.”

  She reached over and took a sip of the pop he’d brought in with him. “I lived in my car for three weeks. I hated it. The thing is, it wasn’t the first time in my life I’d been homeless. With Brandi as a mom, shit happens. A lot. But this was the first time I had some control. At nine, I couldn’t do anything about it.”

  Damn. She’d been homeless at nine? Sean thought of his own cushy life. He’d never wanted for much. Dad and Jimmy had always taken care of them.

  “That’s when I decided I needed to change my life. I look at you and I’m a little envious because you have the safety net of your family. Moving back home was an option for you.”

  “Your mother wouldn’t turn you away, would she?” What the hell kind of family did she come from?

  “No, but I can’t go back to that life. The uncertainty, never knowing if the electricity will be turned off or our stuff will be tossed out. I’ll never go back.”

  Sean heard the conviction in her voice. The conviction that said he was like her old life and she wouldn’t stick around. He didn’t need the reminder. He knew he wasn’t what she was looking for.

  “Anyway, sorry for snapping at you. That was my own insecurities peeking out.”

  From the look in her eyes, she hated he saw those insecurities. To put her at ease, he leaned over and kissed her, tasting and teasing her tongue. She surged forward until she was almost in his lap. He trailed kisses down her neck to the hint of collarbone he could reach with his tongue. “Fuck, you smell good.”

  She laughed. “I smell like the lotion I put on.”

  “Uh-uh. You smell like a woman waiting to be fucked.”

  “Oh really?” She swung a leg over his and straddled him. “How do you come to that conclusion?”

  He reached down between them and found she was completely bare under the shirt. He stroked, feeling her slick, wet heat. He sucked her nipple through the soft cotton. She answered with a moan.

  “It feels like my conclusion was dead-on.” He carefully circled the pad of his finger around her clit. “Maybe we should conduct more research to test my conclusion.”

  She pushed against him hard. “No. I think your conclusion stands. No argument.”

  He took her there on the couch and then again in bed before she pushed away from him, mumbling about needing sleep. He had no idea how he was supposed to sleep knowing she was naked next to him.

  * * *

  “Hey, get up.”

  Sean lifted one eyelid and saw Emma looming over him. “What’s up?”

  “Not you, and it’s time for me to go to work. I let you sleep as long as I could.” She tapped his thigh. “Time to go.”

  He sat up and took the cup of coffee she offered. “I forgot how early school started. You do this every day?”

  “Come on, it’s not like you’ve never had a job. I’m sure you’ve had to get up early. Mechanics start early all the time.”

  He stretched. “Not if I can help it.”

  She scooped her hair up into a ponytail, and the length of her neck drew his attention.

  “Stop looking at me and get dressed.”

  “You can leave. I’ll lock up.”

  She turned with a smile. “We don’t live together, Sean. You’re not my serious boyfriend who has a key to my apartment. I go, you go.”

  Damn. She was really shoving him out the door. Like he was a thief or something. He tossed the covers back and took a gulp of coffee. He didn’t miss her gaze wandering over him. Because of a small hope she might want to play hooky with him, he moved a little slow in bending to get his jeans.

  Instead of telling him to stay naked, she left the room. From the hall, she yelled, “You got three minutes.”

  He climbed into his clothes and finished his coffee. “I’m ready in two. Does that mean I get an extra kiss before I walk out?”

  She smiled and kissed him once more, but she didn’t linger. With her keys in hand, she held the front door open for him.

  As he walked by, he said, “We have a game on Wednesday night at ten. Wanna come?”

  “I can’t go to a game that late. How do you people work regular jobs when you’re playing hockey all night?” She locked up and followed him downstairs.

  “We have a pretty big team. Not everyone plays every game.”

  “I bet you do.”

  He held the exterior door open for her. “Yep. I love hockey.”

  “I really have to go. Talk to you later.”

  “Okay.” He watched her jog to her car and get in. He waved as she drove past. Looking up at the sun, he realized he hadn’t been up this early in over a week. It might do him some good to use the time to search for a job.

  He drove home and was parking as Norah came out of the house.

  She waved. “You’re up early.” Then she squinted and added, “But you’re just getting home, right? I should’ve known when you and Emma didn’t make it to the bar.”

  “Where are you going so early?”

  “School. If you were around more often, you’d know that.”

  “I’m around.”

  “Not really.”

  “Aw, you miss me, squirt?”

  She rolled her eyes. “I hate that nickname. Later.” She waved and got into her car.

  Sean went inside, took a shower, and sat down in front of Jimmy’s old computer, which he’d left behind when he’d moved in with Moira. He scrolled through job listings. His conversation with Emma last night tumbled through his head. He wasn’t even sure what she’d meant when she’d asked if he’d ever wanted something more than a job.

  He didn’t want to get tied to some career that would run his life and define who he was. A job paid the bills, but allowed him to be himself. That was enough. It always had been.

  Chapter Ten

  Emma was filled with energy all day. It might’ve been the extra cups of coffee she’d drunk while debating how early to wake Sean, or it could’ve been the great sex. Either way, she was enjoying the hell out of the buzz. When her last kid was out the door at the end of the day and in the hands of a parent or bus driver, she stopped by Barb’s classroom on the way back to hers.

  “Hey,” she called from the door. “Got a minute?”

  “Anytime.” Barb waved her in. “How was today? Better than last week?”

  “By a mile. The kids are mostly back to normal. It’s amazing how resilient they are.” She sat down at one of the kids’ desks. “It’s also frightening that they go back to normal so quickly.”

  “That’s kids for you.”

  “That wasn’t why I stopped by. I have a personal question.” Emma felt like she could talk to Barb because they were friends, but also, because Barb was a little older, she was excellent at giving advice. Although not technically old enough to be Emma’s mom, she definitely had the mother-figure vibe.

  “Shoot.” Barb opened her desk drawer and pulled out a couple of pieces of chocolate, handing one to Emma.

  “Kids know those are in there?”

  “Hell no. My desk is my domain. They’re not allowed back here.”

  Emma popped the chocolate on her tongue. “How did you meet your husband?”

  Barb let out a small laugh. “You’re not going to believe it. We met online.”

  Emma wrinkled her nose. “Really?”

  “Yep. I know online dating has a bad rap, but if you do it right, it can be a great experience.”

  Emma slumped in the seat.

  “What’s wrong? Are you going to tell me you have a hard time finding a date? I’ve seen you when we go out for drinks.”

  “Dates aren’t the problem. It’s the guys. I’m a shit magnet.” She sighed, ignoring that she’d u
sed one of her curse words for the day, and then launched into an explanation. “I’m ready to settle down. I want to get married and buy a house. Grow some roots.”

  “Okay. The problem?”

  “If I’m looking to get lucky, there isn’t one. But I can’t pick out a decent guy. I want serious, at least in the commitment department. But I want fun too. Why does commitment-friendly have to translate to boring?” She put her head on the desk.

  Barb came over and sat in the desk beside her. She poked Emma’s head. “Get up.”

  Emma looked at her.

  “You’re what? Twenty-seven?”

  Emma nodded. “Next month.”

  “You have time.”

  “But I’m ready. How do I find a guy who is too?”

  “Have you ever tried online dating?”

  “No. I always thought the Internet was for losers who couldn’t find someone on their own.” She said it half-jokingly. In truth, it had never occurred to her. Not when she could go to a bar any night of the week and pick up a random guy. She’d never wanted a relationship before. She’d steered clear because she didn’t want to be like her mom. If she didn’t get into a relationship, she wouldn’t depend on the guy.

  Barb smiled. “I guess you’re a loser then and should join the ranks of online daters.”

  “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

  “I’d suggest staying away from the free sites. While their databases are huge, most people there are looking for a good time. If you want serious, you need to be serious, and that means forking over some money for a site that will work to match you with someone compatible.”

  Emma groaned. It sounded like a lot of work. Barb rose and grabbed a piece of paper off her desk. Then she scribbled on it before handing it to Emma. “Here’s a couple of sites I used when I was looking. I’m not going to lie. I went on a lot of dates before I found David. But I can say honestly they weren’t losers. They simply weren’t right for me.”

  Emma accepted the slip of paper. “Thanks. No one ever told me growing up was going to be this hard.”

  “Did your parents tell you it was all sunshine and roses?”

  “I don’t know my dad, and my mom, well, let’s just say she’s unique. The life lessons she passed on to me were atypical. Mostly useful, but not the kind of advice a mom usually gives out.” Emma pushed away from the desk. “Thanks again.”