A Song of Snow and Ashes

by S.J. Drew

guys, and we have to do all these team exercises. If we mess up, we all get punished. It's really a pain in the neck because one guy can just mess everythin' up. It's almost a miracle I could even get away tonight."

  "Alain," Donnan tried to interrupt.

  "Those instructors are harsh. You have to be almost perfect, or else they just yell and yell."

  "Alain," he snapped.

  "What?"

  "You're babblin'. What's wrong?"

  He sighed. "This is awful, little brother. This has been the worst time of my entire life. Worse than when we first moved here with no family and no money. Worse even than when we found out Mother and Father had been killed."

  "It's supposed to be hard," he stammered, startled that his brother would bring up their parents' death.

  "It's not easy. I don't mind all the hard work. We work out every day. Go runnin'. Lift weights. Practice with swords and bows and staves and daggers. Learn how to fix weapons and armor. I don't mind when someone messes up, and we all have to go runnin' or have to clean out the barracks again. I don't even mind gettin' yelled at when I mess up."

  "So what's the problem?" Donnan pressed.

  "Well, the instructors just teach. They get other guards to help them to do things. I mean, it's dangerous take a couple of guys who barely know which end of the sword to hold and tell them to fight with each other. Even with wooden practice swords, they'd probably get hurt pretty bad."

  "Alright. But what's the problem?"

  "Well, remember when Aolani asked us about that fight I had with Reese?"

  "Alain," he replied sternly, "just tell me what's wrong."

  "Reese got himself assigned to help us students."

  Donnan slapped his forehead. "Godsdamn it."

  Alain nodded. "Yeah. He always seems to end up my practice partner. I think he's tryin' to get me failed out so I have to go through basic trainin' again. He's always tryin' to break my fingers or somethin' because the armor keeps him from breakin' ribs or legs. Sometimes he insults me, real quiet, when I'm goin' through drills."

  "Well, can't you report him or somethin'?"

  He shook his head. "He wouldn't get in trouble. Besides, I'm not the only one he messes with. He likes to bully the smaller guys. He just likes messin' with me the most. I think maybe Aolani stopped seein' him."

  "That's a small comfort, and only if it's true," he replied wryly. "Dammit. There's nothin' you can do?"

  He shook his head. "One of the smaller guys did complain. Didn't name names, of course, and the instructor said it wasn't his problem, and said that learnin' to fight bullies builds character."

  "So they don't mind the hazin'?"

  "I guess so. Long as no one gets seriously hurt. I think they'd be pretty mad if someone got an arm broke. But if someone did, they'd have to do basic over again."

  "Then you make damn sure you don't get an arm broken."

  "Believe me, little brother, I'm goin' to try."

  "This is not fair. You didn't do anythin' wrong."

  He shrugged. "I know. But that's why we're here. Guards tend to go down to the Soldier's Arm tavern. This place is more civilian. I didn't want any trouble."

  "You're just goin' to let him walk all over you?"

  "What can I do? I knew I shouldn't have told you. Now you're goin' to get all mad and there's nothin' you can do."

  Their meals were served, effectively cutting off the tirade Donnan was ready to launch into. They ate in silence.

  "That was good," Donnan started.

  "Yeah, much better than barrack food. This has got flavor," Alain replied with a small smile.

  "You're stickin' with this?"

  He nodded.

  "Even though that jackass is makin' your life miserable?"

  He nodded again. "I've worked too damn hard to let some spoiled brat get the best of me. If I hit him, and I really want to hit him, and get thrown out, he'd win."

  Donnan sighed. "I know. It's just not fair. When things start to work out for us, somethin' seems to come along and mess that up."

  "Well, I just take comfort knowin' soon I'll be done and get myself assigned away from him. I don't think he'll mess with me once I'm done with basic."

  "He's been messin' with you for three weeks. You really think he'll stop?"

  "I figure he'll lose interest. I figure the only reason he's still messin' with me is because Aolani stopped seein' him. I can't think of any other reason. Guys get stupid with pretty women."

  "I think some guys start out stupid," he muttered.

  "It's good to talk to you, little brother," Alain remarked, with a broader smile. "So what have you been up to?"

  "Same as usual. I'm trying to get another job somewhere else. Anywhere else. Darris has got me workin' overtime until he can hire a new dishwasher. I don't mind the extra money, but I hate this job. But after listenin' to what you've put up with, scrubbin' a few extra pots doesn't seem so bad."

  "Are you gettin' out of the apartment?"

  "Sure. I go play cards with Blake and the rest of the gang about twice a week."

  "Well, that's somethin', I guess. Better than stayin' inside reading all the time."

  "You still don't like my friends?"

  "I never have. But better than being a total loner. It isn't good for you. You need to have some people around. Someone to talk to."

  "You were really worried about me," Donnan commented, sounding slightly amused.

  "Of course. I'm not there to look out for you anymore."

  "I can look out for myself."

  "Well, I know. But you're still my little brother. I've got to watch out for you, even when I'm not around."

  "Thanks. I have kind of missed havin' you around. But I don't miss your snorin'."

  He laughed. "No, I guess not. And before you ask, yes, the guys have told me I shake the barracks with my snorin'. I think they're exaggeratin'." They chatted for another fifteen minutes. "I need to get goin' now. Sorry, but I've only got a few hours leave."

  "When can we meet again?"

  "I'll let you know. Probably not for another couple of weeks, at least. You make sure you've got the day off so you can come to the graduation ceremony," Alain said sternly.

  "I wouldn't miss it for anythin'," Donnan replied.

  Both stood up and walked out the door. Alain grabbed his little brother in a crushing embrace, then released him.

  "Gods," he gasped. "You are definitely gettin' stronger."

  "Thanks. Take care of yourself, little brother."

  "I will. You take care, and hold your temper."

  Alain nodded, and headed back to the western guardhouse.

  Donnan went home.

  "Excuse me," came a female voice.

  It was the next afternoon, and Donnan was out back, taking a break from cleaning the common room by himself.

  "Aolani," he said, startled, and immediately got off the crate. He felt acutely embarrassed by his appearance. He was wearing a stained apron to cover his clothes, his face was red from the late summer heat, and his blond hair was damp with perspiration.

  In contrast, she was wearing a sun dress in a fetching shade of pink, her hair was up in a bun, and she had a leather bag over one shoulder. She was clean, collected, and didn't even seem to have broken a sweat. If she noticed his embarrassment, she gave no sign of it. "Hello, Donnan. I'm glad I found you."

  "You are? Would you like to go inside? It's not very nice back here." There were old crates for food that hadn't been hauled away yet, and it smelled of soap and grease from the kitchen.

  She smiled in a reassuring fashion. "I can't stay long. I hope this isn't too rude of me, but can you give your brother a message from me the next time you see him?"

  "Sure, sure," he answered, flustered but trying not to show it.

  "Thank him for watching out for Kennet. He's apparently run into a bit of trouble with hazing, and says that Alain h
as been trying to deflect the men doing the hazing. I think that's very noble."

  "Yeah, that's Alain. Always lookin' out for the little guy."

  "Do let him know that I appreciate it."

  "Sure, I'll give him that message."

  "Thank you very much," she replied, and turned to walk away.

  He mustered his courage. "Aolani," he called.

  "Yes?" she answered, stopping.

  "This is probably none of my business, but are you still seein' Reese?"

  She frowned slightly. "No, I'm not. He was exhibiting very ungentlemanly behaviors, such as starting fights for no good reason."

  "I was wonderin' how that turned out. I know; none of my business."

  "No, it's alright. I suppose it must have been very odd the way I interrogated your brother. But I should be going now."

  "Aolani, wait."

  "Yes?"

  "Are you-are you seein' someone now?"

  She looked a little surprised,and then smiled. "You're sweet. But I am seeing someone. He's a teacher who just came in from Meldon."

  "Oh," he replied, crestfallen. "I guess I really embarrassed myself then."

  She gave a half-laugh. "Nonsense. I'm not embarrassed that you asked. There's no reason you should be. But I must go. Thank you again for giving my message to your brother. Good day." Then she turned and walked away.

  He watched her until she was out of sight. "Well, I got turned down, but she was nice about it. I guess that's the best I can hope for with a beautiful, educated woman like that. At least as long as I'm stuck as just a dishwasher at a shabby little tavern," he thought with a sigh. Then he went back to work.

  The days started to crawl by in Nahaar. Eliora was getting more and more nervous regarding her promotion, and she was vaguely troubled by the news that Zeki was courting Ofira. She told her parents the news, but when Adiva