Stray

by Solveig Yrsa

  Layla looked at the presents. She had never gotten a gift wrapped up, at least not that she could remember. She opened a box from Samantha and grinned. “Oh wow! I wanted these running shoes so bad!” She held up the black, purple, and coral colored Brooks Adrenaline running shoes, as she did, she saw a piece of paper fall out. Picking it up, she read it, “Marathon? Wait… am I running with you?!”

  Samantha grinned and nodded quickly as Layla ran over and hugged her. “We have to start training hardcore though,” Samantha said. “The marathon is in a few months.”

  Layla clapped her hands together excitedly before Catherine got her attention by handing her a large brown envelope. She looked at it in confusion as it had a series of numbers and then underneath it said Layla Williams.

  Layla looked up at the smiling Catherine. “I…I don’t understand.”

  Catherine scooted closer. “That is your new social security number, you need it as proof of who you are.” “But, Williams is…is your last name. I don’t have one.”

  “Well, now it’s yours, after all, you’ll need proof of who you are in order to get your driver’s license.”

  Layla jerked her head up and looked at Catherine in shock. “Are…are you serious?”

  Catherine grinned and nodded. “You will go tomorrow with John to get your learner’s permit, and he has volunteered to be your instructor.”

  Layla jumped up and wrapped her arms around Catherine. “This means everything to me! Thank you so much!” She sat down next to Spencer, her smile took up most of her face. “Did you know? I can’t believe it! I have a last name, and I’m going to be able to drive!”

  Spencer gave her a small smile. “I’m glad you’re happy.” He actually had no idea that was his mother’s gift, had he known he could’ve planned a better gift for her. Shit I could’ve bought her a car, instead of this stupid shit.

  Spencer saw Samantha grab his gift to Layla and hand it to the birthday girl. Dread began to set in. “Listen,” Spencer said as Layla began untying the white ribbon that he tied around the purple bag. “If you don’t like it, tell me and we can go and get you something new, it won’t upset me.”

  Layla raised a brow at him. “I’m sure I’ll love it.” She opened the bag and pulled out the brown purse and stared at it. “Oh wow! Louis Vuitton!”

  Spencer blinked. “How… did you know?”

  Layla laughed as she ran her fingers over the straps. “Catherine let me wear a pair of shoes from them about a month ago. I couldn’t pronounce the name so she helped me. This is so pretty! Thank you! Oh, there’s more inside?” She pulled out the matching wallet and then she saw a stack of papers. “What’s this?” She pulled the stack out and looked at the first page, reading it out loud, slowly. “Untitled, a novel by S. M. Williams.” She heard Catherine let out a small gasp.

  “Spencer,” Catherine breathed. “You are writing again?” Spencer nodded and went to say something, but Layla gasped and covered her mouth.

  “Layla what is it?” Samantha asked.

  Layla looked down at the second page, she wanted to cry, did he mean it? She continued to stare at the page as she read the dedication over and over again.

  For Layla -

  There are over seven billion smiles in this world, and yours is my favorite.

  Thank you for being the light in my darkness.

  She looked over at Spencer who was staring at her. “Uhh… I ummm… excuse me, please.” Layla’s voice was shaky as she got up and ran out of the room. Spencer felt crushed, he had honestly thought she would like that.

  “What happened?” Samantha asked, walking to Spencer.

  He shrugged. “I made the dedication to her, I wanted her to be the first to read it. I guess she didn’t like it.” Spencer sighed as he stood up and headed out of the room.

  Layla stood in her bedroom, her hand was over her mouth as the tears ran down her cheeks. What did this mean? She couldn’t take this limbo she was in anymore. She gasped when she saw Spencer walk in.

  “Lay, I am sorry, I… I didn’t mean to upset you.” He looked at the tears running down her cheeks and his shoulders slumped, how could he have misread this so bad.

  Layla looked at him. “Spencer, I can’t…” she stopped as she tried to find the right words. “I need to know what that means.”

  Spencer didn’t want to say anymore, he didn’t think he could handle further rejection, but she deserved to know, he needed to tell her just once.

  “Layla…” His heart rate sped up, he felt like he was going to have a panic attack. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing, “I’m a dick, and I when we first met, I was horrible to you. I would like to blame it on Rachel, but let’s be honest, I’m a full-grown man and I could’ve chose not to do those things. When I first gave you that food, and even when I took you to the hospital, it was because I was trying to make myself feel better for the way I acted. But then, I don’t know, I couldn’t get you off of my mind.”

  Layla blushed and her breath caught in her throat. She wanted to say something, she wanted to ask him why he couldn’t get her off his mind back then, but she was afraid to speak.

  Spencer continued to talk, “I don’t know when it happened, I guess I had a crush on you for a long time but my feelings… I guess they became deeper the night at the coffee shop. The way you took care of my mom, and then… we kissed.” He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, I know I’m rambling and not making much sense. I am great at writing about people having feelings, but I guess I’m not that good at actually expressing them myself.”

  Layla walked closer to Spencer and looked up into his green eyes. “You…you have feelings for me?” Her voice was so quiet and shaky, she was so nervous, she had no idea how to act in this situation.

  He looked into her eyes, they were so wide and frightened. He wondered if his eyes looked the same. “Yes…” he breathed, shocked that he actually got it out. “I do have feelings for you, Layla.”

  She let out a breath that she didn’t know she was holding and smiled softly. “Good.”

  He raised a brow and smirked at her. “Good? Why is that good?”

  Layla blushed and bit her bottom lip nervously. Spencer noticed and had to look away, he didn’t know why but that seemed to get him worked up.

  “It’s good because… I have feelings for you too.”

  Spencer looked back at her and smiled. “Really?”

  She nodded and tucked a lock of her behind her ear. “So, what now?” she asked.

  He chuckled and placed a hand on her cheek. “Now,” he said closing the distance between them, “I’m going to kiss you, if you’re okay with it?”

  Layla smiled nervously. “You know I’m not very good at it.”

  Spencer smirked as he leaned down. “You couldn’t be more wrong about that one,” he whispered as he pressed his lips to hers. Layla wrapped her arms around his strong neck and pressed herself against him. He noticed and took it as a sign to continue. He opened his mouth and gently bit Layla’s bottom lip, causing her to gasp, which he took as an invite as he slipped his tongue in her small mouth. Layla jumped and pushed back, breaking the kiss. She looked at Spencer with wide eyes.

  “Was…was that your tongue?”

  “Yeah, sorry I went a little too fast, I guess.”

  Layla bit her lip nervously, she actually kind of liked it but it was just startling. She frowned in frustration.

  Spencer took notice and reached out for her hand and squeezed it. “What’s the matter?”

  She shrugged. “It’s just frustrating that I don’t know what to do.”

  Smiling, he pressed his lips against her head. “It’s okay, it’ll just take time. The most important thing is, no matter what, if you are uncomfortable with anything, you have to tell me, alright?”

  Layla nodded. “Spence? Do…do we have to tell everyone about… this?”

  Spencer shook his head. “No, we can act like nothing happened for
as long as you want, okay?”

  She smiled and stood up on her tip-toes to kiss his cheek. “Thank you.”

  Spencer smiled back at her and motioned for her to follow him out of her room. As they headed down the stairs, they passed a pissed off looking Liam followed by Jensen.

  “Wonder what that’s about…” Spencer muttered.

  ***

  Shortly after Layla and Spencer ran off, Catherine had to excuse herself to take her medication, which Samantha offered to help her with, leaving Liam and Jensen alone in the living room. Layla’s words were still ringing in Liam’s ears as he looked at the sandy-haired man whose chocolate eyes were staring intently at his phone screen.

  “So, this evening was interesting,” Liam said, trying to break the awkward silence. Jensen didn’t look up from his phone, he simply made a noise that Liam assumed he was supposed to take as he agreed. He sighed and stood up. “Jen, I’m trying here and it’s like you don’t even want us to be anything anymore.”

  Jensen sighed and turned off his phone before looking into Liam’s hazel eyes.

  “What do you want from me, Liam? Do you want me to forget about what happened that day and just go back to what we had before? Because I don’t think that I can, I’ve tried, and it isn’t the same.”

  Liam ran his hands over his mouth. “Okay, what if I didn’t want things to go back to the way they were? What if… What if I wanted something else?”

  Jensen stared at the now blushing man, he felt his heart thump, but could this actually work out? Was this just a way to make them close again? After all, he’s had months and nothing has been said. Jensen glared at the ground for a second before speaking. “I would tell you that I don’t see that as a possibility.”

  Liam felt like someone stabbed him in the chest. “Jensen, is this because of how I acted at the parking lot? Are you really trying to punish me?”

  Jensen stood up and headed towards the entrance. “No, I’m not trying to punish you, I’m just not willing to allow you to hurt me again. Do you have any idea what it’s like? I’ve had feelings for you for over ten damn years! Throughout middle school and high school and knowing that, back then there was no way you would be interested in a fat ass like me.”

  Liam’s face softened. “Jen…”

  “NO!” Jensen shouted and smacked away Liam’s hand. “I spent all this time trying to make you see me, I lost the weight, I got the good job, I’m in the good school, I was always there, and nothing. I wasted nearly half my life chasing after someone that didn’t want me, hoping, someday you would see me, but you never did, until now…now that I’m trying to accept this and move on with my life and trying to find a little bit of happiness, you want to wiggle your way back in. I’m sorry but I can’t allow that, Liam.”

  Liam clenched his jaw and looked away, trying to keep tears from coming. He watched as Jensen walked towards the door. I’m not going to live with regret.

  “It was because of you, that I knew…”

  Jensen stopped turning the door handle and looked back at him. “Knew what?” he sighed.

  Before Liam could answer, they both looked up at the sound of Layla’s door opening. Liam motioned for Jensen to follow him and headed to his bedroom. Jensen was hesitant but rolled his eyes and followed anyway.

  Once in the bedroom, Liam shut the door and turned to him. “When I first met you, I still wasn’t sure about… myself. Then, I met you and I knew that… that I liked you, but why would you like me? I was scrawny and full of acne, I wasn’t very smart, plus we lived in different states. But I had a huge crush on you, and then…” Liam sighed trying to stay calm. “My mom died and we moved out here. I got to hang around you more and I just… once you opened up, you were like this breath of fresh air. When I was around you, I didn’t think about my mom being gone, my sister being stressed, or my dad draining us and abusing me. You gave me peace, you made me feel safe and happy. You didn’t make fun of me for my comic obsession, you let me teach you how to play D&D, even though we both know you were not a fan. Then after you graduated high school, you lost the weight, I was so proud of you, and sure you’re very attractive, but… I was always attracted to you. I just, I couldn’t tell you. And I guess I worked so hard at keeping it suppressed that when you said what you did, I…I couldn’t speak up.”

  Jensen stood there, silent. He felt like he was dreaming. Sure he had played this over and over in his mind, and in his dreams Liam always felt the same way, but he never thought it would actually be true. “Why?” Jensen managed to get out. “Why couldn’t you just tell me?”

  Liam gave him a small smile. “Jen, your parents are amazing people who love you unconditionally, last year when they both came out for our first Pride parade and were giving out ‘mom and dad hugs’, it made my heart so happy to know you have that kind of support because, I didn’t. My father constantly referred to me as faggot. He would hit me, spit on me, and fight me at every turn.”

  “That’s horrible, Lee, but it doesn’t explain why you couldn’t tell me. You’ve had boyfriends over the years, your dad knew you were gay, so why couldn’t you be with me?”

  “And let that son of a bitch hurt you?” Jensen winced at the cracking in Liam’s voice as he watched his hazel eyes water over. “That man tormented me, and any man he found out I was interested in, was tormented just as bad. I wouldn’t let him do that to you, Jensen. It sounds silly but, I felt like I had to keep you safe, and that was the only way I could.”

  Jensen looked him up and down, Liam was shaking and he had long since given up fighting his tears. Jensen didn’t know what to say, he just continued to stare until his body took control. He closed the distance between them in a couple of steps, grabbed the back of Liam’s head, and brought his lips to his in a crushing kiss. Liam didn’t waste any time, he ran his hand into Jensen’s hair and pulled him as close as possible while exploring his mouth.

  ***

  “So, did you have a good birthday?” Spencer grinned as Layla laid on the couch watching the television.

  She giggled and looked at him. “Best one ever.”

  Spencer thought for a moment. “Now, that’s not saying much considering you’ve been homeless during most of them.”

  Layla laughed. “That is true.” She looked over at the purse with the papers in it. “So, that’s your new story?”

  He grabbed the bag and handed it to her. “Well, it’s the first seven chapters, and they’re first drafts, but yeah, I started writing it when you went to the spa.”

  She ran her fingers over the dedication page. “And you’re sure you want to dedicate it to me? I mean, you always dedicate to your mom.”

  Spencer shook his head. “I dedicated the series to my mom. This book is to you.”

  Layla smiled. “This is so amazing, I mean, the kiss was amazing, but I don’t know, this might be a better gift.”

  Spencer pretended to be offended as he scooted closer to her on the couch. “Well maybe, you need a reminder.” His voice was low like a purr.

  Layla felt the heat rise to her face and she pushed his chest. “I think I remember just fine.” She flipped to the first page of the book and gasped. “Spencer… is this book about me?!”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  One Week Later

  “Come on, Layla, you’re dragging ass!” Samantha panted as she looked at her friend running behind her. Layla continued to slow down until she came to a complete stop on the concrete path. Samantha turned around and jogged back to her. “Are you alright? Your runs this week haven’t been as good as usual, are you going to be able to run in the marathon?”

  Layla rested her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she wheezed. “I’m just not feeling real well and I’ve got a lot on my mind.” She coughed as she sat on the grass beside the track and tried to ignore the burning in her throat.

  Samantha sat next to her and gave Layla her water bottle. “Take a drink, let’s get your breathing under
control, and then tell me what’s on your mind.”

  Layla laid in the grass and took some slow breaths before looking at her. “Spencer and I told each other how we felt and we kissed on my birthday.”

  Samantha spit out the water she was drinking. “How am I just now hearing about this?!”

  Layla sighed and rubbed her sore chest. “I told him I didn’t want anyone to know about us until I was more comfortable, but I need your advice.” She sat up and looked at Samantha. “So, the story he gave me, his new one, Sammy, it’s about me.”

  Samantha raised a brow. “Okay, does that bother you?”

  Layla shrugged. “I don’t know, a little, I guess. If it’s published, then everyone will know I was a dirty, illiterate girl that tried to kill herself. But I don’t want to stop Spencer from writing because I know it’s what he loves. It’s just… it’s been weird the last week because of this. I want to be around him, but I don’t because I’m afraid we’ll fight over the story. So I’ve been avoiding him.”

  Samantha rolled her eyes. “Okay, well that won’t be able to last long, especially if you two are in a new relationship. You need to be honest with him, and have you read the chapters that he did give you? I’ll bet that it doesn’t portray you that way at all. I would read the story before you make any decisions. That’s one of the reasons Spence gave you the story first, he wants your honest input. Are you sure you’re alright? You sound horrible.”

  Layla looked at Samantha, she felt awful, her throat was on fire, and she was having a hard time breathing. She stood up so that they could go, but only made it a couple of steps before falling down.

  “Shit, Layla!” Samantha looked at the girl, she had seen this before with her mother. “Okay, Lay, come on, you have to sit up.” She pulled Layla up and sat behind her.

  Layla was beginning to panic, she felt as though no air was getting through.

  Samantha pulled out her phone and dialed 911. “Yes, my friend is having a hard time breathing, I need an ambulance.”