The Londum Omnibus Volume Two (The Londum Series Book 12)

by Tony Rattigan

  ‘How’s she taking it?’

  ‘Oh you know Adele, always the practical one. She’s taking it all in her stride. I imagine when it comes to the big day it will be me with the collywobbles, not her.’

  ‘I’m glad you’re getting married, every man should do it at least once. Besides it’s good to have a companion to go through life with. Remember what they say, “No man is an island”.’

  ‘Except for Barry, of course,’ joked Cobb. ‘You said you’d been married once, didn’t you?’

  ‘That’s right, I’ve said those four little words.’

  Cobb counted silently on his fingers and then asked, ‘What words? “Will You Marry Me?” ’

  ‘No, it was the other ones, “You’re Not Are You?” ’

  They both burst out laughing. ‘It’s a long story, I’ll tell you about it sometime. Now, perhaps you’d explain to me why you rode up to my door, accompanied by a detachment of Household Cavalry from Buck House, and tell me you need my help? What’s the second favour you need from me?’

  Cobb finished his drink and put his glass down; it was time to get serious. ‘Remember I told you that one day I’d tell you all about my “crazy adventures” as Thornton once described them? Why it is that sometimes I come into contact with what can only be called “supernatural characters” like Father Yule. Well, fix yourself another drink because that time has come. All I ask is that you believe everything I tell you, because we don’t have a lot of time and we’ve got a lot of ground to cover.’

  So he told Jim everything ... all about his ability to move between Universes, Harlequin, Dark Matter, causing the second Great Blast, meeting Jeremy, everything. Jim’s eyes opened wide as Cobb explained all about his ability and the adventures it had led to. Jim knew Cobb well enough to know he wasn’t lying but he kept his questions to himself as there’d be time for them later.

  Cobb filled him in on all the details of the current dispositions of the Elves and how Albion was gradually losing the war. Then he told him how he had been called to Buck House and requested by the king himself to go to the Elf Universe, accompanied by a team of marines, and close down the portal by any means possible.

  Jim naturally was astounded by all this. ‘So where do I come into this?’ he asked.

  ‘Well it’s those marines that are the problem. I’m not sure I trust them to give my safety as equal importance as completing the mission.’

  ‘But without you they can’t get back.’

  ‘The military people who were telling me about them, whether they meant to or not, gave me the impression that that was a minor detail. Steal the Dark Matter and hide it would be sufficient. That’s why I want you to come along. I want someone there to cover my back, someone I can trust. Sure I can handle myself in a scrap but this is different. Hell, I’m just a copper, I’m gonna be out of my depth in a war zone. Which is why I need you, looking out for me. What do you say?’

  ‘I’d definitely like to take a crack at doing something for the war effort that’s going to be more effective than just being cannon fodder in the army. How can I say no? It’s for my country too. Besides, it’s the job of the best man to ensure that the groom makes it to the wedding, isn’t it? Of course I’ll come. You know me, I always love an adventure.’

  They both stood up and shook hands. Cobb was nearly overcome with gratitude but being an Albion gentleman he refrained from showing it and just managed to squeeze out a, ‘Thanks, Jim.’

  Jim put on his jacket and checked his pockets to make sure he had all the things he needed like his cigarette case and lighter, then he hesitated a moment. ‘Just one thing before we go. Why did you ask me?’

  ‘Because this time I think I need someone who can be a bit dangerous.’

  Jim smiled and nodded, ‘Okay. I can do that.’

  ‘Good,’ Cobb replied. ‘Now, grab your hat, we’re off to the palace.’

  ***

  When Cobb and Jim entered the War Room, the Aide-De-Camp alerted the king that they were back. He waved them over to join the group.

  ‘Your Majesty, allow me to present my companion, Jim Darby,’ Cobb introduced him. ‘I have explained the gravity of the situation to him and he is willing to accompany me on the mission.’

  ‘Pleased to meet you, Mr. Darby. Anyone that can increase the chances of success of this mission is more than welcome. Field Marshal Harcourt, perhaps you would be good enough to run through the basics of the plan for Mr. Darby’s benefit.’

  ‘Certainly, Your Majesty. This way please gentlemen,’ and he led them over to the wall map. ‘My staff are still working out the finer details of the plan but in the meantime we’ve been alerting the military units that will be involved and putting them on standby. Of course we’ve only let them know to prepare themselves but not what for, wouldn’t want to give the game away by showing our hand too early.’

  He quickly ran through the plan again for Jim’s benefit. As Cobb had heard it before, his attention wandered and he looked around the room for Adele, there was no sign of her or Won Lungh. When the briefing had finished he took Jim over to the coffee table where he asked one of the officers standing there if they had seen them.

  ‘Ah, your lady friend with the Cantonese man following her around? Yes I believe she left with Queen Eloise.’

  ‘Where did they go?’ Cobb asked him.

  ‘Search me, they were all sitting at the top table and I couldn’t hear what they were saying. Suddenly Queen Eloise stood up and swept out of the room followed by her entourage. I’m sure your friend went with them.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  The officers drifted away leaving Jim and Cobb by themselves. Jim was looking at the telegraphists tapping out Morse code at the far end of the room, sending and receiving signal traffic. ‘She was only the telegraphist’s daughter but she didit, didit, didit,’ he quoted.

  ‘Excuse me?’

  ‘Sorry, just an old army joke.’

  Cobb looked at him dubiously. ‘Err ... okay. Oh lookout, here comes trouble.’ Harlequin wandered over to them.

  Jim had heard Cobb’s description of Harlequin but was amazed to finally see him in the flesh. ‘Strange, the things you see when you haven’t got your gun with you,’ he said to Cobb.

  Harlequin joined the pair. ‘So you’re Jim Darby?’

  Jim looked him up and down, viewing his strange outfit. ‘So you’re Harlequin?’

  ‘Oh, so you know who I am?’

  ‘Cobb has told me all about you.’

  ‘Nothing good I suppose?’

  ‘Not a word.’

  ‘You know, Jim,’ said Cobb, ‘I looked up the word “annoying” in the dictionary and there was a drawing of Harlequin.’

  ‘Typical,’ responded Harlequin. ‘I’ve come to help save his world but do I get any gratitude?’

  ‘Not much chance of that,’ Cobb assured him.

  Harlequin looked at Jim. ‘You see? Here I am, agent of the Gods, immortal being, etc. etc. but does he show me any respect? Not a jot. I ought to punish him for blasphemy or something but I let him get away with it. I’m too easy going that’s my problem. I don’t know, sometimes I think I’m my own worst enemy.’

  ‘Not while I’m around,’ chipped in Cobb. ‘Anyway, where’s Adele got to?’

  ‘Oh she left with Queen Eloise, they were talking about raising King Arthur from the dead or something like that.’

  There was pause and then Jim asked, ‘Did he just say ...?’

  ‘Yes he did,’ Cobb confirmed. Then to Harlequin, ‘What are you talking about, you mad man?’

  ‘It’s true ... I suggested that they should call on King Arthur to save Albion from the Elves and the queen of the witches said she knew someone who could do that. So off they went to fetch her.’

  Cobb and Jim looked at each other for a moment and then Jim smelt the coffee to see if there was anything wrong with it.

  ‘I thought Elves were bad enough,’ said Jim, ‘but now we’re bringing back King Arthur
? Somebody tell me I’m imagining all this.’

  ‘Afraid not Jim. I’m hearing it too,’ replied Cobb.

  ‘Elves, mythical kings from legend, clowns from heaven, what’s it going to be next ... pixies?’

  ‘Oh, I should think that there’ll be many more surprises before this little adventure is over,’ Harlequin warned them.

  ‘Is it too late to change my mind about signing up for this?’ asked Jim.

  ***

  Jim and Cobb hung around the War Room, studying the maps of the area around Grasmere and Ambleside, while everyone else was busy holding meetings, drawing up orders and supply demands for units, telegraphing orders out to, and receiving updates from, the command structure around Albion, and so on.

  Admiral Collins came over to join Jim and Cobb and poured himself a cup of tea. ‘Sorry to keep you waiting around like this but we’ve been working out the timings on the plan and sending the orders out to the various units involved. It takes a lot of preparation to get a fleet of airships ready for battle. We’ll take you down to Chatham Dockyards when we’re ready, you can meet the marines and then I’ll brief you all together, to avoid having to go over it again.’

  ‘So, do you think we can go home tonight?’ asked Cobb.

  ‘I don’t see why not. You’re not much use to us just hanging around here. By the way, just remember you’re under military jurisdiction now, so remember you’re not to talk to anyone about this operation and please don’t go anywhere or do anything without informing us of your whereabouts. In fact, I think I’ll detail armed guards for both of you.’

  ‘Oh that won’t be necessary,’ said Cobb.

  ‘The Elves have tried to kill you once. What’s to stop them trying again? No, our plan rests on you so I don’t think we’ll take any chances.’

  ‘Okay, thanks. You wouldn’t happen to know where Queen Eloise and her entourage have gone, would you?’ Cobb asked him. ‘It’s just that my friend Miss Curran went with them and I was wondering if I should wait here or catch up with her later.’

  ‘Probably best if you go home. I’ve no idea where they’ve gone but they may be some time. We’ll send a carriage to pick you both up tomorrow, be ready by eight o’clock.’

  ‘Should we come armed?’ asked Jim.

  ‘That won’t be necessary, the marines will provide you with all the weapons you’ll need. Go home, get a good night’s sleep, say goodbye to your loved ones, that sort of thing. When you come back tomorrow I’d wear a dark suit and a good pair of boots, if I were you. You’ll probably have to hike across some rough ground.’

  He finished his tea and waved to one of the junior officers floating around the room. ‘Lieutenant, please find transport home and an armed guard for these two gentlemen, would you?’

  The officer snapped to attention and nodded.

  ‘Until tomorrow then,’ said the admiral and went to join the others.

  ***

  Sometime after Jim and Cobb had left, the king instructed everyone to take a break, have some food, check on the latest situation reports, take a smoke break, whatever anyone needed. Harlequin excused himself and with a click of his fingers, disappeared.

  King Victor, brushing away his servants, helped himself at the buffet and returned to his seat at the head of the dining room. After a while, as he ate, he saw Lord Parmesan get buttonholed by Admiral Collins and Field Marshal Harcourt, who were accompanied by that civilian scientist that told King Victor about the plasma weapons.

  The four of them had withdrawn to a corner at the far end of the room, out of earshot of anyone else, and were deep in conversation. Occasionally they glanced furtively in the king’s direction but he pretended not to notice. He finished eating, lit a cigar and waited for them to either approach him or to leave the room, at which point he would send his Aide-De-Camp after them to find out where they were going. Albion was at war, this was no time for keeping secrets amongst the senior staff.

  He was half way down his cigar before the prime minister apparently gave up his argument and made his way over to the king.

  He stopped respectfully some distance away and asked, ‘Your Majesty, may I approach?’

  Victor waved him forward. ‘What can I do for you, Prime Minister?’

  ‘Your Majesty, may we speak in private? No Aide-De-Camp, no secretary, no servants? And somewhere more private than the War Room?’

  ‘Just yourself?’

  ‘No, the Admiral, the Field Marshal and Professor Onestone would like to be there too, if it pleases Your Majesty.’

  ‘Very well, follow me.’ He stood up and led the way out of the War Room. As his ADC made to follow him, Victor held up his hand to stall him. He led them down the corridor to his private office. Sitting behind the desk he invited them to sit also.

  ‘Your Majesty, you remember Professor Onestone, Chief Scientific Advisor to the War Office.’

  ‘Yes of course,’ responded the king. ‘Now perhaps you’ll tell me why we need to have this private chat?’

  The prime minister looked at his colleagues and then, almost reluctantly, began to explain. ‘Your Majesty, I don’t think you’ll like what I’m going to say but I would remind you it is my duty as prime minister to make you aware of all the options available to us.

  ‘We are facing a very serious threat, a danger to the survival of this country, the world perhaps, and yet it seems our only plan to win the war rests on a man who can move between Universes, some sort of “divine clown” and a scheme to dig up a dead king and ask him to fight for us. Your Majesty, the truth is we are basing our hopes on faerie tales. Some amongst us are sceptical at the chances of success of this plan.’

  ‘Some of us?’

  ‘Well, us here,’ the PM said, indicating the other three.

  ‘But as you say,’ replied the king, ‘it is our only plan. We don’t seem to have any other option.’

  ‘Well, there is one other,’ said Field Marshal Harcourt. ‘The Sunburst Weapon.’

  ‘The Sunburst Weapon? I didn’t think we had that working yet.’

  ‘All tried and tested. We only have a few small bombs but it should be sufficient for our needs. Professor?’

  ‘Thank you, Field Marshal. Yes it’s true. We haven’t collected enough material to make a large bomb as proposed in our original designs but we have created a few smaller ones for testing purposes and they’ve been quite successful in creating massive explosions. For example, you know Krakatoa, Your Majesty?’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Well it isn’t east of Java anymore.’

  ‘Good Gods, that was you? It’s that powerful an explosion?’

  ‘And that was only the test model.’

  ‘But how does that help us?’

  Admiral Collins said, ‘Your Majesty, we are proposing that the marines be given one of these Sunburst weapons to take to Ambleside with them. It can be mounted in a canvas backpack and easily carried by one man.

  ‘If they are unable to retrieve the Dark Matter from the portal generator they can explode the weapon and it will obliterate anything around it, including the machine. If I understand Harlequin correctly, it won’t damage the Dark Matter but the whole area will be vaporised rendering it unusable. They won’t be able to reach that world again to rebuild the machine.’

  ‘But how much damage will the Sunburst do here if the portal is open when it explodes?’ asked the king.

  ‘Well sir,’ replied Professor Onestone, ‘it’s a bit tricky to estimate given that we are dealing with four-dimensional geography here, but normally I would expect that a three mile radius from the point of detonation would be affected. Of course if the portal is closed, then all that would be contained as the blast takes place, well, on another world. But if the detonation occurs near the portal while it’s open, then we can expect half of that blast to reach into our world and destroy everything ... and everyone ... within that blast radius. Ambleside will certainly be obliterated.’

  ‘How many casualties a
re we talking about?’

  ‘Honestly, Your Majesty, we don’t know,’ Onestone told him. ‘It all depends on who is in the blast zone at the time. We’ve no way of knowing what that is on the other side but if it goes off here ... we could be talking thousands. Elves and humans.’

  ‘That’s monstrous!’ exclaimed the king.

  ‘That’s survival,’ declared the prime minister.

  ‘Do we have the right to use this terrible weapon?’

  ‘Do we have the right not to? Sir, the first duty of a government is defend its people. How can we say to our countrymen that their homes were destroyed and they are living in Elf slave camps because, “We didn’t feel it was morally right to use this weapon to win the war”?’

  The king lit another cigar to give himself a moment’s breather to compose himself. ‘And you are all in agreement that this is the best course of action if the other plans fail?’

  They all nodded or murmured agreement.

  ‘Very well then. We will do it but only as a last resort. How do we fit this into the plan, Admiral?’

  ‘Well sir, I suggest that we only tell the marines about this extra component to the plan. No need for Cobb and Darby to know anything about it. If we can delay everything by a day Professor Onestone says the research institute at Harwell can have a Sunburst Weapon prepared, ready for the airship carrying the team to stop off and pick it up, on their way to the Lake District.’

  Onestone nodded agreement. ‘We already have them prepared, one just needs to be mounted in a backpack.’

  The admiral continued, ‘I will go along and brief the marines separately on the weapon and also give them instructions that if they are in imminent danger of capture or losing the weapon to the Elves, then they are to detonate it immediately.’

  King Victor looked gloomily at them.

  ‘You’re doing the right thing, Your Majesty,’ the prime minister encouraged him.

  ‘Only history can tell us that. Go ahead and make your plans and may the Gods look kindly on us for this blasphemy.’