If I Were You

by Leslie Margolis

  At least the bus is finally pulling into the parking lot. I shake Kevin awake.

  “We’re at the beach!” I say.

  “Leave me alone, Mom,” he says, crankily.

  I laugh. “Um, Kevin? It’s me, Melody. Not your mom. You’re on the bus. Remember?”

  “Huh?” He sits up with a start and blinks a few times. “Oh yeah. I wasn’t snoring, was I?”

  “No,” I lie.

  “Good.” Kevin coughs. “Actually I don’t know why I even asked you that because I don’t snore.”

  “Of course you don’t,” I say.

  He smiles at me and runs his hands through his hair to try to straighten out his bed head. It doesn’t work. Then he reapplies his ChapStick. The cherry-flavored smell was getting to me, so last week I took his ChapStick out of his bag while he was surfing and threw it in the trash. But he must have a supply at home because it’s back.

  His surfboard is stored underneath the bus. After we get off, we wait in silence for the driver to unlock the compartment and unload.

  As soon as Kevin grabs his board he heads toward the water, not waiting for me and not looking over his shoulder to see if I’m following, although of course I am. The sky is overcast because apparently it’s even too early for the sun. I point this out to Kevin, but he doesn’t laugh. He’s not paying any attention to me.

  “Yo, check it out!” says Kevin, gazing at the ocean. He may be a snoring drooler but he was right about the waves. They are huge.

  We find a spot near the surf. After I spread my towel on the sand, I peel off my blue sundress to reveal a matching blue bikini. It’s just one of the new outfits I picked up on my latest shopping spree with Debbie. I expect a reaction because I know I look amazing, but Kevin is too busy putting on his wet suit to notice.

  After he zips up the back, he picks up his surfboard, tucks it under his arm, and is about to head to the water when I stop him.

  “Wait. Can you help me with my sunscreen?” I ask, waving the bottle in front of his face.

  “Sorry, I’ve gotta go,” he says, pointing to the water. “This surf is too gnarly. I can’t wait another second.”

  I figure he’s joking, because what kind of boyfriend says he doesn’t have time to help his girlfriend apply sunscreen? Except he’s not kidding. Kevin is that kind of boyfriend.

  Stunned, I watch him jog into the white water and beyond. He paddles his way out and soon he is lost among the throng of surfers straddling their boards and bobbing up and down in the waves.

  Last week I was okay with this. It was enough to know I was at the beach with my boyfriend. It didn’t matter that once we got there he pretty much ignored me. Now, though, the fact that we don’t actually hang out at the beach together is kind of annoying.

  I do my best to apply sunscreen by myself. Then I rifle through my tote bag and pull out my Debbie-approved snack. It’s a gluten-free almond butter, chia seed, and spinach ball and let me tell you, it tastes about as appealing as it sounds. Meaning, not so much. After one tiny nibble I walk over to the nearest trash can and throw it away.

  That’s when I notice the snack stand is opening up. They’re already cooking French fries, the smell of which makes my stomach rumble with hunger.

  Last night’s dinner was raw sprouted veggie burgers. Afterward, I convinced Debbie to take me to the new sorbet place on the corner, but once we got there she made me order a single scoop even though I really wanted a triple.

  Thinking about this depresses me. Sighing, I head back to my towel and flop down, exhausted, hungry, and bored. I check my watch, amazed that I’ve only been here for fifteen minutes. The beach used to be my favorite place in the world. Summertime always felt magical. Except now that the magic has actually happened? Well, it’s kind of disappointing.

  I miss hanging out at the beach with the real Melody. I wonder what she’s doing today. She’s probably just waking up, maybe making a Lego city with the twins or playing superheroes or building a fort out of couch cushions. Of course, none of that sounds so bad right about now.

  Closing my eyes, I decide to take a nap.

  When I wake up the sun is blazing high across the sky. Squinting out at the waves, I still see about a dozen surfers. Kevin is probably among them. His green backpack is still here next to me, anyway, so I know he hasn’t gone home.

  I stand up and stretch and take a walk because there is nothing else to do.

  I’ve only gone a few yards when I hear someone whistle. I turn around, but can’t tell where it came from, which is so creepy! I’m only in the bikini and I wish I’d worn the cover-up. I should know better by now. In Melody’s body I get all sorts of attention. It’s funny how I used to crave it. Now, I’d kind of like to hide. I’m thinking about this when I hear some familiar voices. It’s Ryan and Reese.

  They’re building a sand castle with Melody.

  “We need more seaweed for the curtains,” Melody is telling them.

  This makes me smile. Melody always insisted on hanging curtains in our sand castles and it’s good to know that some things never change, even though we are now grown-up. And in each other’s bodies.

  I wonder if I should say hi. They seem pretty happy without me. And I don’t want things to get awkward. Because technically we’re still fighting, even though I don’t really want to be. Melody is probably still furious and I totally don’t blame her.

  I’m backing up, about to turn away, but before I do so, Ryan sees me and runs over. “Melody!” he yells, jumping into my arms with so much force I stumble back.

  Once I regain my balance I squeeze him tight. I’ve missed the smell of his shampoo and his squirmy little body. So much so that tears form in my eyes.

  “Where’ve you been?” he asks. “We haven’t seen you all summer.”

  I’m not sure what to say. It’s way too complicated. I set him down and then Reese leaps into my arms, not to be outdone.

  I giggle and say, “I’ve missed you guys so much. What are you doing?”

  “We’re building a fortress for cars and boats and planes,” says Reese.

  “With curtains, because Katie says we need them,” Ryan adds.

  “That makes sense,” I say with a nod.

  Melody is focused on building, not looking at me. She’s wearing a shirt that’s not mine and at first I wonder if she convinced my mom to take her shopping—although that never happens. Then I realize the T-shirt is hers. I borrowed it and then lost it but I suppose she unearthed it. Knowing Melody she probably cleaned out my whole closet.

  I was already feeling like a lousy friend and seeing her recovered T-shirt just makes things worse. I am the worst!

  “Are you still acting mean like Katie?” Reese asks, staring into my eyes with a serious expression on his face.

  “Katie is acting nice now,” Ryan says to Reese.

  “I know that,” says Reese. “I mean the old Katie.”

  “You guys are crazy,” I say, ruffling Reese’s hair. “No one is mean and there is no old Katie.”

  I peek at Melody. She’s looking at me out of the corner of her eye, I can tell. I miss my best friend. My old best friend, I should say. Are we still best friends? If not, will we ever be again? I hope so.

  “How’s everything going?” I ask.

  “Good,” she says, carefully. “You?”

  “Great,” I say, lying. “I’m here with Kevin.”

  I don’t know why I blurt this out and now I feel awkward, but Melody doesn’t seem to mind. She shrugs and says, “Yeah, I figured.”

  I wave toward the ocean and say, “He’s surfing.”

  She nods. “Um, no big shocker there.”

  We share a smile. So much is left unsaid. I want to hang with my stepbrothers. Should I ask? Is that weird? This whole thing is weird.

  “I miss you!” I blurt out.

  “Me, too,” says Melody as relief floods her face. “Um, sorry about everything. I should’ve told you the truth a while ago. And I shouldn’t hav
e snuck around.”

  “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have called dibs on Kevin. That’s not fair. I didn’t even know him. I probably never gave you the chance to tell me the truth.”

  “Um, what are you guys talking about?” asks Reese.

  “Nothing,” I tell him.

  “Hey,” says Melody, standing up and brushing the sand off her knees, “do you mind watching the boys for a few minutes? I’ve been dying to pee but I can’t leave them here alone.”

  “I told you to go in the water. That’s what we do,” says Reese.

  Melody shakes her head. “Only little kids can do that. Once you hit a certain age, you can get arrested.”

  “Really?” asks Ryan, eyes wide and finger in his nose.

  “Go ahead,” I tell Melody. “I’ll stay here with your brothers.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Anytime,” I say. And the funny thing is, I actually mean it.

  MELODY

  The Boy on the Beach

  Confession: I don’t actually need to pee. What I need is five minutes to myself. Ryan and Reese are awesome, yes. But they are exhausting. It’s funny how I used to envy Katie. How even just a week ago I loved every minute of inhabiting her body. I got so lonely at my real house, but now I’ve come to discover that there’s such a thing as too much company. It’s chaos at the Miller house practically 24-7.

  Reese and Ryan wake me up early every morning and they won’t leave me alone until they’re asleep, which seems to be happening way too late considering they’re only four. I tried to talk to Katie’s mom about it last night, but she immediately thought I was criticizing her. She’s never around anyway. I know I made the deal, trading piano practice for babysitting, but it seems as if I’m on twin-duty nonstop, which doesn’t seem exactly fair. Piano only took twenty minutes a night. I’m with Reese and Ryan for ten hours every day. Plus, Anya acts like she’s doing me a favor and keeps threatening that I’m going to have to go back to the piano before the summer is over.

  But I don’t want to think about that right now. I am free. And I’m at the beach. It’s a gorgeous day. White fluffy clouds drift lazily across the blue, blue sky. The sun shines down on my shoulders and it feels like a hug. I breathe in the sweet, salty air and step in time to the crashing of the waves.

  Even though the twins are getting on my nerves, I still feel good in Katie’s body. I can be myself, which is weird, since I’m not me. What I mean is that I can act like I used to, relaxed and free. Like when we were little, and I didn’t have to worry about random dudes staring at me, sometimes saying creepy things, sometimes just giving creepy looks, which was often worse. Now I can let my guard down, go for a walk without worrying, and that is what I do.

  That’s when I see this guy walking toward me. The cool thing is, I notice him before he notices me. That never happens! Also, he’s cute in a scruffy beach-rat kind of way. His dark hair is long and shaggy, clothes rumpled in that I-just-rolled-out-of-bed-and-threw-on-the-first-clean-T-shirt-I-saw way. Or maybe it’s not even clean. He looks like the type of guy who wouldn’t care, one way or another. He’s wearing dark sunglasses, so I can’t tell if he’s noticing me, but I’m hoping he is.

  He’s getting closer and I smile at him.

  He grins back and I think, Okay, something is going to happen. What, I don’t exactly know, but for once, I actually want to be noticed—at least by this guy. And he did notice me. So whatever happens next is going to be good. I can feel it.

  We’re getting closer, almost close enough to talk. I’m about to say hello, but stop myself because what about Kevin?

  I feel bad because, technically, I have a sweet and devoted boyfriend. What kind of girlfriend am I, being attracted to other guys?

  Of course, Kevin isn’t my boyfriend anymore. He’s Katie’s. So here I am, not tied up in any way. And this guy is standing right in front of me, smiling like he’s got some big juicy secret. A secret I want him to share with me.

  “Hey,” I say, quickly, acting cool like I don’t really care. I go to run my fingers through my curls but instead I’ve got Katie’s straight brown hair to contend with. My fingers don’t get caught and they run through too quickly.

  I laugh and he does, too.

  “Hi,” he says back.

  I’ve only just laid eyes on this guy—have only seen him for a total of about forty-five seconds—but I can tell I like him. In fact, I’m imagining strolling on the beach with him, hand in hand. I’ll bet his hands are soft and warm and not sweaty. He won’t grip me too tightly, like he’ll fall off a cliff if he lets go. No, he’ll be perfect at holding hands.

  I wonder if he likes to text flirty messages. I’ll bet he doesn’t use too many emoticons while texting. I wonder what it’s like to kiss him. I’ll bet he doesn’t apply cherry-flavored ChapStick every five seconds.

  This guy doesn’t smell anything like ChapStick.

  “Nice day, huh?” I ask.

  “The best. I love summer,” he says.

  “Me, too,” I say. “I wish it were summer all the time. And I mean that in the strictly ‘summer is fun’ kind of way as opposed to ‘we’re all going to burn up because of global warning.’”

  The guy laughs and says, “You’re funny.”

  “Thanks,” I reply. “Except I’m not funny. I’m Katie.”

  “You can be funny and Katie,” he says. “I’m Nico.”

  When we shake hands I discover I was right—his skin is soft and his grip, perfect. I hold on for a few seconds too long and he seems confused as he pulls his hand away.

  I giggle. “Sorry about that. Um, are you from around here?”

  “Kind of. I live in West Ranch,” Nico says.

  “Oh, I live in Braymar. That’s, like, superclose to West Ranch.”

  “Yeah,” Nico says. “Do you go to Braymar?”

  “Not yet, but soon. I’m starting seventh grade at Braymar in the fall.”

  “I’m going into middle school, too.”

  I really wish Katie could see me talking to this cute guy. She’s always so hard on herself, saying that no guy would like her. Yet here I am in her body, attracting a supercute boy. It’s all in her attitude, I think. Katie is a major stress-case and she’s always looking down, plotting and scheming, trying to figure out what comes next. She needs to relax and live in the moment, especially in the summertime and especially at the beach. That’s what I’m going to tell her as soon as I get back to our spot.

  “Hey, you know that girl you were just hanging out with?” Nico asks me.

  “Huh?” I ask.

  “The one with the curly blond hair and that blue bikini?”

  “You mean Melody?” I ask, confused.

  “Yeah, Melody. You guys were talking five minutes ago, right? You left her with those two little boys.”

  “Yup,” I say, looking over my shoulder. I can just see the three of them playing in the waves. “That’s Melody and the boys are my brothers.”

  “Cool. Think I could get her number?” Nico asks.

  Wait a minute. Why is Nico asking about my best friend when he stopped to talk to me? It doesn’t make any sense. I’m all mixed up. He thinks I’m pretty. This should be a good thing. But wait—he doesn’t think I’m pretty, he thinks Melody is pretty. But she didn’t do anything. She’s not the one who made eye contact with him. She’s not the one who flirted. I am. How superficial. How great for Melody. For me. If only I were in my own body. But wait, does that make me shallow? This is so confusing.

  “So can I?” he asks.

  “Hey, do you actually know Melody?” I ask.

  “I’ve seen her around,” Nico says. “I mean, we’ve never actually spoken but I’m sure we’d get along. So what do you think?”

  I put my hands on my hips. “So you’re using me to get to her?” I ask in a huff.

  “Well, I wouldn’t put it that harshly,” says Nico. “I thought you could help.”

  “For your information, she has a great boyfriend
named Kevin. And she is very devoted to him.”

  Before Nico can respond, I take off and duck into the bathroom. I know he can’t follow me there and I’m too annoyed to face him.

  Katie is my best friend and I miss her. And now I kind of get her. It’s no fun being the sidekick to your pretty best friend.

  KATIE

  The Fourth

  The bus to Crescent Moon Bay doesn’t run on major holidays and today is the Fourth of July. Before Melody and I switched bodies, in our first summer of being twelve, we met Kevin in the park. At least, that’s what I thought at the time. Now I know better.

  Kevin and I are already together, obviously, and it’s four o’clock and he’s texting me.

  ’Sup? he asks.

  Nadda, I reply.

  Want to hang? he asks.

  Sure. Be right there, I text back.

  I’m feeling better now that I actually have plans. We can’t get to the beach on our own without a ride, but I’m thinking we can bike over to the park and watch the fireworks.

  I wander into my gigantic walk-in closet and search for the perfect outfit. This is a challenge because I just got four new pairs of shorts. My favorite ones are dark blue with red stripes running down each side. I can’t decide if they go with my new green-and-orange-polka-dot T-shirt, so I try it on. The shirt is so cute and I love the V-neck and the way it hugs Melody’s body. Of course, I haven’t yet worn the brown strappy sandals. I try them on, too, and look at myself in the mirror. The outfit is daring and bold. Maybe not everything goes together, but on the other hand, it’s all from the same little boutique, so it must match. Right? I decide to go for it.

  Puckering my lips, I apply some red lipstick and drop the tube in my new purse. It’s got an American flag on it with shiny rhinestones where the stars should be—totally perfect for the holiday! Once I find my American flag dangle-y earrings I walk over to Kevin’s house.

  He looks at me funny when he answers the door.

  “Hi, Kev,” I say. I give him a quick kiss on the cheek and blush. It still feels weird, having a boyfriend. Kissing a boy. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to it.