This definitely wasn’t like him.
I wondered if perhaps his meeting with the partners had somehow gone this long into the evening, but that seemed unlikely. Besides he would have found a way to step away and call, I imagined.
Of course my mind traveled then to another worst case scenario. What if something had happened and he was unable to call? Who would be notified if something had happened to him, I wondered. We had only just begun the romantic element of our relationship. Would anyone know to contact me? The idea of our longtime friendship being a factor didn’t cross my mind until much later.
Finally I caved to my thoughts and decided to call him. I checked my messages first just to be certain, but saw nothing from him. Then I scrolled down to his name and hit 'call'. He answered on the second ring.
"Hey Blair." His voice sounded strange. Short and curt. He continued speaking before I had a chance to say hello, "You almost had me convinced. How could you do it?"
"Do what?" I asked confused by his accusatory tone.
"You threw me under the bus, Blair,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. "You told them about the medication."
Chapter Twelve
"Aiden, what are you talking about?"
"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" he said.
My confusion had begun to veer into feelings of anger.
He was accusing me of something, but I refused to believe his thoughts would go that way.
"You promised to keep my secret, Blair. You said you would help me though this."
It occurred to me that he wasn’t so much talking to me as he was talking at me. I let him go on for a few minutes before I interjected.
"Aiden, what happened?" I said, trying to get his attention back to me. "What did Mr. Mahoney want at the office?"
"As if you don't know!" he bellowed. "Stop pretending, Blair. You were the only one that knew!"
"I didn't tell anyone anything,” I said, seething at his mistrust.
"We need to have a serious talk,” he said. "I'm coming over."
"Well, please do!" I said, my voice raising in volume with each word.
He mumbled something before he hung up.
Oh no you don't, I said.
Whatever he had in mind to tell me would pale in comparison to what I wanted to say to him. After the length of our friendship and the course of our new romance, he had already lost faith in me this soon in. If that was the merit of his trust for me than our problems were bigger than I had originally thought.
My mind had gone red with the anger that bubbled up inside me in the few minutes it took him to get to my apartment. I opened the door without a word, when I heard him tap at the door. I stalked back to the middle of the living room and turned to him.
"Is this about the medication?" I said, trying to control my voice and keep myself from shouting in his face.
"What else would it be about?" he spat the words at me, crossing his arms.
"Why do you think that I told anyone?" I said.
"Didn't you?" he said, raising his eyebrows.
"No, no matter what."
"Is that so?" he said with a laugh. "You know what, Blair. I want to tell you something and I want you to listen closely because this may come as a surprise to you. I don't believe you!"
"Aiden, I..."
"No," he said cutting me off. "I don't believe you, because they do know about it somehow. Funny how that is. Isn't it?"
I stood helpless and silent watching him pace and rant.
"Let's look at the evidence, shall we?" he said, tenting his fingertips beneath his chin. "You have said repeatedly that your priority is to the case, to the job. You have made it clear that you will do whatever it takes to win the full time position with the firm. Isn't that true, Blair?"
"Aiden, let me..."
"Whatever it takes!!" His face had gone pink and I saw from across the room the vein in his forehead, pulsing each time he spoke. He continued, "I knew I should have watched out for you. I underestimated you. I thought I was bad, but this... wow. I mean. Bravo."
He clapped his hands together in a parody of applause in my direction.
"What are you talking about, Aiden?" I said.
I was beginning to grow weary of this tirade, but he had said something that had sparked my curiosity and concern.
"You’re not the only one playing at this game, Blair,” he said. "I knew the moment I laid eyes on you that first day, exactly what I needed to do to win this job from you."
"Oh really," I said with a tired tone. "And what's that?"
"As soon as I recognized you, I knew I couldn't win this job from you on pure merit and performance. I knew I needed to throw you a curve ball."
"Go on," I said as my stomach began to turn.
"You see, Blair. You’re smarter than me. You’re a harder worker than I am. I needed to find a way to distract you if I was to win the full time position." He curled his lips up on a sinister snarl as he spoke.
I was beginning to feel sick.
I couldn’t believe this was happening.
"All this," he whispered in a voice as if revealing the killer at the end of a mystery play. "Has been part of the game."
I sank down on the couch feeling as if the room were spinning around me. "What are you saying?" I asked.
"You know what I'm saying,” he said. "Everything I have been doing from day one has been part of the plan. Catching up, going out with you, that first kiss. Sleeping with you. All of it. And the best part is, it's worked! The partners have noticed the way you seem a bit distracted at work. With your brilliant mind you didn't even see the one thing right in front of you standing in your way. I played you, Blair, and now you have gotten me back. You just evened the playing field without even realizing you were at a disadvantage."
He laughed in a humorless way as the blood drained from my face.
At first I didn’t know what to say.
The man who stood before me seemed to me like a stranger, only bearing a resemblance to the man that I had begun to fall for.
"I don't believe you..." I stammered, unsure how to reply.
"It doesn't matter if you believe me,” he said in an arrogant tone. "What's done is done."
"How could you do this to me?" I said in a slow and even tone. "I didn't say anything to anyone about your medication. But I owe a debt to whoever did, because now I know just who I’m dealing with. I want you to get out of my house. Outside of the case don't expect anything from me again, ever! I never want to speak to you again!"
"Gladly," he said. "I can only ask the same of you. I'll see you in court tomorrow."
"Get out of my house,” I said.
He sneered another laugh, and headed towards the door.
I decided that he wasn’t moving fast enough and I stood crossing the room and opening the door for him.
If I could have shot fire out of my eyes he would have been fully ablaze.
"Until tomorrow,” he said with a crooked smile.
I had tried to hold it in, but something about that last little comment pushed me over the edge.
"Get out!" I screamed, picking up one of the candles from the coffee table and hurling it at his head. "Get out and never come back! You piece of shit! Get out!"
He dodged and the candle hit the back wall with a thud, leaving a small imprint against the plaster. The moment he crossed over the threshold, I slammed the door as hard as I could behind him. As soon as he was out of sight, my knees gave way and I crumbled to the floor, my back against the door.
The truth of his words sunk in.
Of course it was all a game, it made so much sense now.
I thought about how persistent he had been from the beginning. It made sense that he had played me just like he had all those other girls back in high school, using his charisma and charm to manipulate the situation. He wanted this job, and he had used me to get the upper hand.
Of course he had.
Most likely he had developed
the plan before he even knew it was me. He knew he would have a female partner. They had probably told him just as much as they had told me. When it turned out to be me, he just used our past as his way in. It didn’t hurt his plan that I had grown up a little bit. He never would have made a move for the skinny bespectacled girl, but the way I looked now played right into his plan.
EVERYTHING PLAYED RIGHT INTO HIS PLAN.
I felt dirty all over at the thought that I had let him touch me so intimately. I wanted to throw up, but instead I remained curled in a fetal position with my back against the door, crying into my arms. I had never been so hysterical, and didn’t recall a time when I hurt so much just form someone's words.
I didn’t know what to do.
There was no one I could call, and even if I did the intensity of my tears prevented me from being able to speak. Humiliation, shame, disgust all washed over me, part of the wordless rage that coursed through my body. I didn’t know what time Kelsey would return, nor did I care. I stayed there in the entry way of our apartment, crying while the evening light crept across the floor marking the setting sun. Finally, I calmed myself enough to make my way back to the couch. I found my cell phone on the table and called Kelsey. It went to voicemail.
"Hey, I'm sorry to bother you while you’re on a date, but can you call me as soon as you get this?" I said in a trembling voice.
The phone rang about a minute later.
"Are you okay?" she said. "What happened?!"
Apparently my voice had been a little bit transparent.
"Can you come home?" I said.
"Blair," she said. "What's happened?"
"Aiden's been lying to me,” I said, my voice breaking on the last word and threatening to fall back into hysterics.
"I'll be right there," she said.
A little while later, Kelsey came rushing through the front door, tossing her purse into the chair and sinking into the couch next to me.
"Who do we need to kill?" she said.
I pulled my hands across my face, clearing the tears away. My skin felt red and puffy from my crying binge.
"He said that he was using me to keep me distracted from the case. So that he could get the job, or at least have the upper hand with the case. He said he did the whole thing as a game to get the upper hand."
"But why would he say that?" Kelsey demanded. "He seemed like such a nice guy in high school and now from what you had told me."
"I know,” I said, reaching for the tissue that Kelsey handed towards me. "This isn't like him. At least the him that I used to know."
"Yeah," she said and nodded.
"I mean, I knew he had changed since we had known each other, but this..."
"We have to get him back,” Kelsey said.
"He thinks I already have."
"What do you mean?"
"He thinks I reported him to the partners for drug use."
"What?"
I explained what I had found the last time I was at his place, including my resolution to help him through it without telling the firm about his extra-curricular activities. "I mean I would have implicated myself just as much as him if I had said anything. I don't know why he thinks it's me."
"Wow,” Kelsey said. She sat back on her heels and a thoughtful look crossed her face. "Based on everything you have told me this does not seem like him at all."
"You should have heard him Kelsey,” I said. "Not only did he confess everything, but he sounded like he enjoyed it. I mean he laughed as he told me."
Kelsey tapped her chin as she thought it over. Suddenly she stood and instructed me as to what to do. "You stay here. We need hot tea, ice cream, and movies, right away."
She vanished into the kitchen. I could hear the sound of her fluttering around, the sounds of various items landing on the surfaces of other items, water running, refrigerator door opening and closing.
"Do you need help with anything?" I called.
"No, you just sit there,” she replied in her chirpy voice. A few minutes later she appeared with a mug in each hand, steam arising from each. She set one down in front of me and grabbed the remote. "Okay now what to watch."
"Actually I think I might just go to bed,” I said.
"Are you kidding?" she said. "This is prime man bashing time. You need a good action movie, something with lots of explosions! Vicarious violence."
"Yeah." I nodded, taking a sip of the tea. The hot beverage did help to calm my nerves a little bit.
"I'll get us some ice cream,” she declared and rushed off to the kitchen.
She must have already dished them up because she returned just as quickly and placed the bowl on the table in front of me, chocolate chocolate chip. Her flavor not mine. I set down the steaming mug and sat back against the couch, watching her flip through the channels on the television trying to find the right one.
"What are you in the mood for?" she asked.
"Whatever you decide,” I said.
It seemed important to her that I accept her comfort, so I let her settle on an old move from the nineties, robots from the future wreaking havoc on modern day Los Angeles, or at least nineties Los Angeles.
Before she started it she turned to me, tucking her feet underneath her legs.
"Do we want to plan his murder now or after the movie when we have some inspiration?" she said with a gleeful grin on her face.
I rolled my eyes over to her, feeling a fresh batch of tears forming just underneath the surface.
"Kelsey," I said. "We are talking about Aiden."
"Oh," she said.
I watched her face transform as the slow dawning crept over her features. Her smile vanished and her eyes subdued. She remembered us back in high school after all.
"Of course."
She set down her mug and offered her arm out to me. Unable to hold back, I curled my head onto her bony arm and succumbed to the fresh onslaught of tears. She endured silently, for a long while, as the ice cream melted in the bowls next to us. I had never felt so hollow from the inside out, as if everything inside me had been scooped out with a giant melon baller, cut into tiny pieces and displayed to be eaten by whatever onlookers may be close by.
Not only had I lost myself, but I had lost my best friend.
Despite everything I had begun to hold on to the notion that Aiden and I would remain friends as we always had been. I couldn’t comprehend the turn that he had taken.
If I thought back to our days in high school I would have recognized the potential he had for manipulation, but since we had reconnected I had seen a maturity, or perhaps I had assumed it. I didn’t realize that he had pointed that same ability to manipulate towards me.
I had fallen for it because I hadn’t seen it coming.
His familiar face had been my down fall. I assumed a trust that wasn’t there. I brushed away the tears and picked up my cooling tea.
"Go ahead and start it. I'll go change. I think I could use the distraction after all."
She turned on the movie and I slipped into my cotton pajamas and wrapped my robe around me, returning to the couch. I could barely pay any attention to the film before me. The future of humanity was at stake, and I couldn’t care less. The heroine fought a valiant struggle, but about halfway through I found myself nodding my head backwards against the couch.
"Kelsey," I said. "I've got to go to bed. I have court tomorrow and I need to get some sleep. I'm sorry I ruined your date."
"Not ruined. Just postponed,” she said, as I stumbled back to my bedroom, stopping only to briefly brush my teeth and wash my face.
Once I made it back to my bedroom, I curled under my blanket. My window remained open to create a breeze, a small reprise against the Southern California heat. I felt glad that I hadn’t boxed up my stuffed animals, but had brought them with me as an inkling of sentimentality when I had packed for the move.
Now I felt comfort in their bizarre presence.
The large plastic googly eyes of my stuffed wombat stared at
me plaintively as I wrapped my arms around the small Teri cloth unicorn, a remnant from my elementary school days. I tucked the corner of the blanket over the small family of creatures, the clown with the red and white stockings, the long haired cat puppet, the tiny sheep that fit in the palm of my hand, all received the same care that I had once devoted to them when I was a very small child.
After I felt satisfied that they were all sufficiently tucked in, I pulled the blanket up to my chin. Despite my previous nodding off in front of Kelsey, I felt as if all thoughts of sleep had left me. I laid completely still and closed my eyes listening to the hum of silence around me. The small noises from outside seemed to jolt me back to awareness as if a jet plane were flying overheard. I wanted nothing but to slip into the oblivious nothing of sleep.
The look on Aiden's face kept creeping back to the surface of my conscious mind. His eyes had changed into something I couldn’t recognize. The man who had stood in my living room just a few hours ago hadn’t been the same as the one I had fallen for.
Something had happened.
That part I couldn’t quite piece together. My mind whirled at the idea that he thought I had told them, but I knew with certainty that I hadn’t. I hadn't even told Kelsey until just a bit ago, after the fact.
But if I hadn’t told them, who had? I wondered.
I had run out of tears. All that remained was the bewilderment of what had happened. I mourned more for the loss of my friendship than for anything else. I hadn’t wanted a boyfriend, and it had taken much for me to admit any feelings.
Even more for me to act on them.
It made sense in some bizarre way that this should happen now. It had played out as if this were some cruel punch line to a large joke, a long con that culminated in nothing more than his acquisition of the job, and my complete emotional dismemberment. I remembered the kindness in the boy I had once known. I recalled the way in which we used to run off together, hiding in the tree house in his back yard with stacks of books that we would take turns reading.
I couldn’t decide if he meant what he said, or if he was still trying to break me somehow. Allegations of improper drug use would no doubt end his career. Was this his way of lashing out?
Tempted (A Player Brother Romance Book) (A Standalone Novel) (Player Brothers Book 1) Page 18