by Kim Lawrence
There were several thoughts and feelings that she had not been brave enough to share with him.
Erin knew the message in his dark eyes wasnt really there. She knew her brain was playing cruel tricks, making her see what she wanted to.
But what if it was really there? Her heart began to beat faster.
Now where had I got to? Of course, I was filling in the gapsit was at that point, I realised that the biggest favour I could do to the bank was to stay away.
Can you do that?
He gave one of his inimitable shrugs. Im the boss, cara . I can do anything I like and, he admitted, his lips curling into a sardonic smile, I am very good at delegating. I hope you understand that during this time I was very angry with you.
What did you do next, other than be angry with me?
I came back here and I thought when Erin comes back our home will be finished.
You thought I would come back?
I could not allow myself to think anything else, he said simply. That night in Venice, the night of the ball, your obvious distrust of me, the things you accused me ofI cannot lie, I was very, very angry. My pride was hurtI walkedGod knows where. I knew if I came back I would say things that I would regret.
And part of me, a not very nice part of me, took pleasure from the possibility you might think I was with another woman. It was petty and contemptible. He looked with pained anguish into her blue eyes. But my plan backfired. When I came back to find you leaving me I was shocked. I think I was in shock.
I didnt really think you would do it. My pride would not let me believe that a woman would reject Francesco Romanelli. He gave a snort of self-derision at his arrogance. But you did. I let you go. I cant believe how stupid I was! he admitted with a groan. I actually sat and watched while you, my one chance of happiness, walked out of my life.
Is he talking about me? Am I his one chance at happiness?
After you had gone I just sat there on the bed expecting that you would walk in any moment.
It was a crushing blow when you didnt andwell, I have told you how I spent our time apart.
That night in Venice, when I went back to the room I recognised even then that my jealousy was the cause of the problem. I planned to discuss it with you, but when the minutes ticked by, wellit felt that something was dying inside me. She gave a great gulp and covered her mouth with her hand. I thought you didnt care, she admitted, her voice cracking. That Id pushed you into another womans arms.
With a cry, Francesco reached for her own hand resting in the hollow of her back, the other cradling the back of her head. I felt the same way, he admitted, brushing her hair back from her brow and raining reverent kisses on the smooth skin he had exposed.
But if I had trusted you, if I hadnt let my wretched imagination go wildwe would never
He silenced her protest with a kiss so achingly tender that it brought fresh tears to Erins eyes. With a sigh she sagged against him, her face pressed into his chest while he murmured soft endearments and kissed her hair. It was some time later that they moved by mutual consent towards the big metal-studded door.
I hope youll approve of what Ive done to our home, Erin.
Her ability to think straight blasted into oblivion by the amazing things he had just said, she nodded. Her legs felt so weak with reaction to the revelations of the last few minutes that she needed the support of the hand in the small of her back that guided her towards the massive front door.
You know how you said a baby grand would look good in the summer sitting room when it had a roof?
She tilted an enquiring look up at him.
Well, it now has a roof and a baby grand.
She was laughing when she walked through the door. She was laughing all the way up to the point someone screamed Surprise! and what seemed like hundreds of people leapt out laughing and shouting and in some cases waving banners.
Dio mio ! Francesco gritted through clenched teeth as he pulled her into his side. I swear to you, cara I had no idea. If I had I would have hired stunt doubles for the occasion.
Dont scowl, she said, sticking a warning elbow in his side and hiding her own dismay and frustration behind a smile. Theyre trying to be nice.
Best not to mention the rough flight to my mother, Francesco said as a middle-aged couple approached.
Looking curiously at the distinguished-looking man with the mane of white hair, Erin knew exactly what her husband would look like in thirty years time. The woman with the gentle eyes and a sweet smile was leaning lightly on a cane. There were tears in her eyes as she embraced first Erin and then Francesco.
At last we meet. She is so lovely, Francesco, and that hairwe are so happy about the baby.
I want you both to know, Alberto said, clapping his son warmly on the shoulder, that this was not my idea. His grimace took in the entire heaving room. If anyone ever thinks about doing this to me
Do not be tiresome, Alberto, recommended Sabina Romanelli. Livia thought it would be nice for Erin to meet the family.
Because she got out of hospital and it would be so restful, said Francesco at his most sardonic.
I think its a lovely idea, Erin said.
Youre lying through your lovely teeth, but, if thats the way you want to play it, fineIm throwing you to the wolves. I warn you, Erin, not everyone survives the Romanelli initiation ritual. She thinks Im joking, he said to his father.
Theyll suck you dry and spit you out, the elder Romanelli said straight-faced.
It was easy to see where Francesco got his sense of humour from.
Good luck, cara ! Francesco whispered in her ear the moment before she was whisked away.
It was a good hour later before she saw Francesco again. The smile of welcome on her face faded when she saw his expression.
What, he demanded, do you think youre doing?
Doing? Erin said, mystified by his attitude. Im not doing anything.
He shook his dark head in disbelief. You really are unbelievable, he said, forcibly removing the fretful toddler she was jiggling on one hip from her arms. You had surgery a few days ago and youre pregnant. Lugging a little monster like this around is not what Id call lots of rest and relaxation .
Hes not heavy, Erin protested.
Yes, he is, and he is also, Francesco discovered, angling a critical look at the toddlers face, extremely dirty. Im taking him back to his mother.
You know, I think Ive had enough of this, and you, he added, glancing at her face, have definitely had enough.
What are you doing, Francesco? she asked as he began to bang his hand on the table.
Im getting rid of this lot.
You cant do that! she protested. It would be incredibly rude.
Actually Francesco was rude and charming in equal parts as he basically told his family they had outstayed their welcome and fortunately nobody seemed particularly offended.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
B Y THE time the last of their party-throwers had taken their leave Erin couldnt help but be glad that Francesco had taken direct action.
She still couldnt believe thatafter all her fears that she would struggle to adapt to a world so far removed from the one she knew, and that his family would think he had married beneath himin the end they had gathered her to their collective bosom unreservedly. The thing she would always remember about today would be the incredible warmth of her welcome.
Her head was filled with faces and buzzing with names. It was small wonder that she had the beginnings of a headache.
Francesco had not been exaggerating when hed said he had a large family.
During the party Erins thoughts had repeatedly returned to the moments in the garden before they had walked into their surprise party. She had kept thinking about the things he had said and the expression in his eyes. It had made it hard for her to concentrate on what people had been saying to her and being forced to wait to hear what else he had to say had been incredibly frustrating.
So many questions still remain
ed unanswered. She had felt so optimistic, so confident when they had walked through the door. But things had been left hanging in the air and during the frustrating delay doubts had crept in.
Maybe he didnt even realise yet, but one thing was perfectly plain to Erin; Francesco hadnt been in love with her when hed married her. In lust, yes, but not in love.
She had been a diversion. If he had been kissing her he hadnt been thinking about his brother. Was it possible that he had really fallen in love with her since they had married? Or was she succumbing to that most common of human failings and seeing only what she wanted to? Wasnt it more likely that his new warmth and tenderness had more to do with the fact she was the mother of his unborn child and he wanted their marriage to work?
A moment later Francesco walked into the room massaging the back of his neck. Ive pulled up the drawbridge.
And by the expression in her eyes as she looked at him it looked as if Erin had, too. He silently cursed his familys timing. Things had been going in exactly the right direction until they had been ambushed.
And this is the family you thought you were not sophisticated enough to be part of, he said, removing a paper streamer from around his neck. They like you.
And I like them.
The question is do you like me, Erin?
You know I do, despite the fact you give orders and you issue decrees, you ride roughshod over peoples feelings and you think youre always right!
Is there more? Because I warn you my ego is feeling pretty fragile right now.
A flicker of a smile crossed her face. Youve got an ego the size of Manchester.
You think I will ever find a woman willing to overlook my failings?
Only several million.
Are you worried you wont?
I wasnt, he admitted. In fact, I thought I already had. But suddenly I dont sound like the template for anyones perfect man.
Her eyes dropped from his. That kind of depends on the woman, she mumbled, thinking that for her he would always represent the perfect man.
Erin!
The urgency in his voice as he spoke her name drew Erins eyes upwards.
Just what happenedoutside, I thought A nerve clenched in his lean cheek. Was I wrong?
She shook her head. No She ran the tip of her tongue across the outline of her dry lips and lifted her chin.
Their glances locked, the tension vibrating between them like an overstrung violin string. Erin felt herself drawn in, mesmerised by the rampant hunger in the velvety depths.
The sexual inertia that started in her toes took a heartbeat to engulf her entire body. She closed her eyes, but could still see his face.
She wanted to be in his arms; he wanted her to be there.
Nono, this is Breathing hard, he stepped away from her his hand held up as though to ward her off.
She reached a hand in confused protest and Francesco shook his head. No, when you touch me it is like throwing a flammable liquid on a smouldering fire. Not something I have a problem with, tesora mia , he admitted with a strained grin. But right now we need to finish what we startedWhat we started outside before my family crashed our private party.
Heart thudding like a hammer in her chest from a combination of anticipation and trepidation, she nodded and got to her feet. It was then she actually felt the blood slowly draining from her face; it really was the strangest sensation. She could see Francescos lips moving, but she couldnt hear anything above the roar of the blood pounding in her ears.
Feeling strangely disconnected from what was happening, she was conscious that her knees were sagging and the floor was rushing up towards her.
The next second she found herself flat on her back on the sofa in the living room.
If you move an inch I will kill you!
She turned her head in the direction of this fierce threat. It wasnt my fault I fainted, she protested weakly.
Nothing is ever your fault! he thundered. You are taking years off my life.
You look all right to me. He looked perfect and it wasnt hard to see why other women were drawn to him.
Erin had experienced firsthand the magnetic charge of Francescos rampant masculinity. She was pretty sure that every female with a hormone in her bloodstream got a sexual buzz just looking at him.
And mostly they wanted to do more than look, she thought. They wanted to spear their fingers into his silky dark hair and breathe in the warm male scent of his body.
Once upon a time allowing herself to think this way would have sent her into a spiral of rage and pain, but now it didnt.
Now she had total belief in his integrity.
I love you, Francesco Why hadnt she said this before? I just wish that Id told
Erin you dont have to say it. I already know.
II dont understand, she faltered, confused by his driven, strained manner.
His deep-set eyes slid from hers. That day when I went looking for youyour mother, she told me
Told you what?
We were apart for eight weeks, you were feeling vulnerable and alone. IA nerve along his jaw clenched as his dark eyes slid from hers. I really dont need to know the details. That, he reflected grimly, would be more than he could bear. What matters, he said, is how you feel now. And I thinkI think you love me?
It was a wary question and not an arrogant pronouncementThis was not the Francesco Erin knew.
I do love you, Francesco, she admitted huskily.
A hissing sigh of audible relief escaped his clamped lips. Then that is what matters, he announced, his mouth firming with determination. Not things thatyou may not think so now, Erin, but we have something very special, something which is incredibly rare. And if you are worried that I will throw this up into your face in the future, do not be. He moved his hands in a sweep designed to illustrate that a line had been drawn under the subject. I swear on all that is
Erin, who had been listening to him with an air of bewilderment, cut across him. I might be more relieved if I knew what you were talking about.
He looked pained. I understand, Erinthere is no need for you to lie to me.
She could only assume that this understanding he claimed was responsible for the rigidity in his lean body and the nerve ticking like a time bomb in his hollow cheek.
Im not lying, Francesco. I have no idea what youre talking about. Please tell me what my mother told you.
While you were in hospital she rang me and implied that after you left methat you, that you met someone else.
You think I had an affair? The sheer absurdity of the suggestion drew a laugh from her throat.
You dont have to pretend, Erin
As her thoughts raced Erins eyes started to fill.
Seeing the sheen in the luminous depths, Francesco, misreading their cause, groaned. We will work through this,
Work through it? she echoed.
He had been thinking that she was suffering from a guilty conscience.
And he was prepared to forgive her!
If she had ever doubted the depth of his love she didnt now. She could only imagine how hard forgiving such a lapse would be for someone with his pride.
It represented nobility of epic proportions!
You think I had an affair and youre willing to take me back. You must love me very much? she said in rapturous wonder.
More than life, he confirmed, causing more tears to leak from her eyes.
That is sooh, my God, Francesco, I dont deserve you, she said in a choked voice. She took the tissue he handed her and blotted her face, smiling through the tears up at him. My mother was stirringIt would be a long time, she reflected, her expression momentarily hardening as she thought of her mother, before she would forgive her for this malicious meddling.
His dark glance sharpened and flickered questioningly across her face. What are you telling me?
Im telling you she was lying. I had no affair. Please let him believe me. I couldnt, she told him simply.
Youre the only man I have ever bee
n with. The only man Ive wanted to be with. The idea of another man touching me the way you do makes my skin crawl, she revealed with a shudder. Before you I even thought I was not very highly sexedfrigid, I suppose.
There was a long silence while he searched her face. Erin returned his gaze, her eyes glowing with her love for him, a faint smile making her soft lips quiver.
My Godcan this be true? He sighed, a feverish shudder running through his lean body. I have been through such agonies, he revealed, dragging a shaking hand through his hair. To think of another mans hands on her had made him sick to the stomach and filled him with a murderous rage the like of which he had never imagined he was capable of.
Oh, I think I do. Erin pulled herself into a sitting position and tucked her feet under her. Im fine now, she said quickly as Francesco opened his mouth to reproach her. An imagination can be a terrible thing, cant it? she added softly.
He nodded. It is not something I would wish on my worst enemy. Thinking of you withI wanted to kill him, but the worst part was the knowledge that it was my own stupid fault if you had turned to someone else. I knew how insecure your parents relationship had made you. I should have made allowances. My God, he breathed, coming around to sit beside her on the sofa. Your mother must really hate me.
Her expression grim, Erin took his big hands between her small ones. My mother rarely thinks of anyone but herself.
But to say such a thing, it For a moment Francesco relived his worst nightmare. Then he took a deep sigh and closed the door firmly on those terrible images. It was a place he never wanted to visit again.
You believe me?
He looked indignant as he lifted her hands to his lips. Of course I believe you.
Joy exploded inside her.
If you thought Id had an affair, did you not wonder even for a moment whether the baby She lowered her hand to her stomach, carrying his hand with her. Whether he was yours?
Francesco curled his big hand protectively over her belly and smiled. Not even for a moment!
Well, it would be understandable if you had.
He shook his head. I knew that you would never try and pass off another mans child as mine.