Heaven, Hell & the Love In Between

by Downey, A. J.

  “Be patient Gracelyn. Good things come to those who wait. I know that your time on the mortal coil is fleeting, but wait. These are my parting words to you.” He reached out and touched the mirror and my bedroom appeared.

  I looked at the three angels behind him.

  “Thank you, all of you. I’m sorry if I was awful to you,” I blushed with shame.

  “We’re going to miss him too.” Rizoel said and smiled.

  I closed my eyes as more tears streamed.

  “Go.” Raphael smiled kindly and I tried to smile back, to be brave, but I couldn’t. I stepped through the mirror and turned back, but all that was behind me was my open closet. I crumpled to my knees and sobbed. I was alone. God help me, I was alone. I prayed.

  Chapter 37

  Four hours later the sun was coming up but all I could do was stare at the clock, my fingers twisting in my chopped hair. I sat up and went to the kitchen picking up my phone I did what I had never in my life done before.

  I called off work.

  I made up a story about going for an early morning run and that I was attacked by a dog in the park, killing two birds with one stone. I would have to explain my leg somehow, might as well do it before anyone saw it. Jared told me to rest up and to take as much time as I needed and the guilt and self-loathing for lying to him set in immediately upon hanging up. I dressed comfortably in jeans and a sweater and went out once it was late enough that a hair salon would be open, I walked until I found one that proclaimed walk-in’s were welcome.

  I sat numbly in the chair while a sweet, flamboyantly gay man tsked over the state of my chopped hair and red rimmed eyes. He assumed that I had gone through a horrible break up and I let him. He did a good job with my hair, evening the ragged butchery I’d visited upon it. Giving me what he called a ‘Victoria Beckham A line’ saying that I had the face for it.

  It looked spectacular when he was finished, all though it required more maintenance than I was used to. I’d have to use a flat iron to keep it up, my hair had too much of a natural wave to it otherwise. I bought one from the nice man and some hair products and left the salon. My head was so much lighter, and that made my heart just that much heavier.

  God I missed him.

  Chapter 38

  I went in to work the next day, I needed the distraction. Despair had taken a hold on me and I didn’t think demons had anything to do with it this time. Jared looked up from his desk and his eyes widened in shock.

  “Your hair…” he blinked several times as if he couldn’t believe it.

  “I donated it to a good cause.” I said and really it was a lie by omission. I had donated it to a good cause, it just wasn’t what he was likely thinking. The man at the salon had told me I could bring in what I’d hacked off if it was over twelve inches long so to make wigs for cancer patients. I guess it was a regular thing that some people did. I hadn’t known.

  “It looks good.” Jared said, once he’d gotten over the initial shock. I smiled. He really was a good friend. My heart squeezed.

  “How’s the leg?” he asked and I propped my foot on the edge of his desk and pulled up my pant leg to show off the white bandage winding up my calf.

  “Little shit got me good.” I complained. He frowned.

  “You go to the hospital?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” and it wasn’t a lie, I had gone yesterday. The doctor had given me a tetanus shot and looked at me skeptically when I’d said a dog had done it. He’d said that he had seen plenty of dog bites and scratches before and that “This was no dog.” I’d stuck to my story, had gone against medical advice on taking the Rabies shots and signed myself out as soon as I’d been fixed up. I took the prescription for antibiotics to ward off any infection, the memory of Alaric’s wound still fresh. I pasted on a brave smile for Jared and tried to breathe through the fresh stab of pain thinking of Alaric brought.

  God. I. Missed. Him.

  “Well I have good news and bad news.” Jared was saying, leaning back into his chair, hands clasped behind his head.

  “Give me my dessert first.” I said and flopped into one of the chairs across his desk.

  “The verdict is in, we know what the runes say.” He grinned. My eyebrows went up.

  “Wait, so what’s the bad news?” I asked.

  “Gunnar Volund is in New York and coming in today. I was planning on calling a department meeting to open the email. Thought it would be good for morale.” I chewed my lip.

  “Sounds good. Lecture hall?” I asked.

  “Yep, cleared it for a block of time at one. Figured I’d call it an early day and let everyone celebrate. It’s big Gracie.” He was grinning and I couldn’t help it. My smile was genuine.

  “I’m looking forward to it.” I got up.

  “See you there.” He winked and I left his office, pondering what had him so excited. The only thing I could come up with was that it was a name. What was Volund’s ancestor’s name? I stopped in my tracks. I realized I’d never asked. That I didn’t know. Volund had ever referred to him as ‘my ancestor’, had never given a name in my presence. He must have told Jared though. Jared was far too excited otherwise.

  I went to my bench and got to work on cleaning the boss from a shield. The boss being that large metal cap thing in the center of the round wooden shield that Vikings carried. It was traditionally where the shield was gripped, the hand being protected by the boss’ metal bubble, and also making it a very effective method of using the shield as a blunt weapon by bashing one’s opponent with it. The wood and leather comprising the rest of the shield had long since rotted away and the boss its self was severely misshapen by encrustations but it was found within very close proximity of a bearded axe blade and my sword.

  It has been long suggested that during combat a Viking would use their primary weapon in their main hand and carry not only their shield, but also an extra back up weapon along with it, gripped along with their shield in their off hand. If the primary weapon were lost, then the secondary was available for use, all while maintaining a defense.

  With the close proximity of these three items, and with the blade of the bearded axe so close to the boss, it was theorized that the three items belonged to the same person and as such when my work was completed, all three of these items would go on display along with carefully crafted replicas showing how they may have looked during the warrior’s time. We had big dreams of one day having an entire exhibit complete with Viking long ship crafted exactly as they had been a thousand years ago. We wanted to make the exhibit one that could travel from city to city for years, a real phenomenon on the level of King Tutankhamun or the Titanic exhibits circling not only the U.S. but the globe, beginning and ending that trek in Norway.

  I looked up at the clock and realized that it was almost one. I had a little under ten minutes to get to the lecture hall. Plenty of time. I cleaned up my area and put my tools away and hung my lab coat. I wouldn’t need anything so I stepped out and down the hall and used my badge to exit the restoration facility and entered the museum’s office space. I took the elevator to the correct floor, my leg protested the stairs a little too much this morning, and upon exiting ran smack dab into Gunnar Volund and Jared having a heated conversation. I swallowed hard.

  “Gracelyn.” Jared looked startled then a little guilty.

  “Jared, Mr. Volund.” Volund’s expression darkened but then smoothed out. His eyes were fixated on the scale at the hollow of my throat. He nodded, hands deep in his pockets.

  “Ms. Adams. You are well?” he asked.

  “Yes.” My heart ached. As much as I despised Volund, he’d been the only other person to see Alaric and that made me want to make an effort.

  “If I may, before you two have any more to say on the matter, I would like to say all is forgiven. Mr. Volund, I would like to enjoy this discovery and I would like you to enjoy it too. I want today to be about the history, somebody’s story. Not about an evening of too much wine and… and unfortunate decisions
made.” I stuck out my hand. Volund stared at it a moment and finally engulfed it with one of his massive ones. We shook. Jared looked at me with no little admiration.

  “Gracie will you be all right if I...?” he let the question hang.

  “Yes, go finish setting up. We’ll be in in a minute.” I said and took back my hand. Jared nodded, concern etching his face, but he looked around at some of the milling museum goers and decided Volund and I were in a public enough space that I was safe. He disappeared into the lecture hall. I turned back to Volund.

  “What was he?” Volund asked.

  “He is what he is, Gunnar and I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you.” I sighed. He smiled.

  “You called me Gunnar.” He said.

  “So I did.” I was a little surprised at myself.

  “I am still the monster you think me.” He cocked his head to the side.

  “Gunnar, what you think you saw in the park was real, and the love of my life, he was probably a bigger monster in life than you could ever be and he changed. Not for me, but for himself. If he can be redeemed, then you can too, you just need to find it in yourself and the right motivation.” I turned from him and went into the lecture hall, he stood behind and watched me go, a curious look on his face, a mixture of confusion and deep thought. I left him to it. He would join the rest of us. I knew that he didn’t want to miss this anymore than I did.

  Chapter 39

  The lecture hall was vast but our department was pretty small. We all fit into the first five or six rows of seats in the center section, which admittedly was the biggest. Jared motioned to me from the front where he stood beside the museum’s curator talking animatedly and motioned to a seat to the side at one end. I took it and looked up at the stage. My sword sat seemingly suspended in a clear acrylic case in front of the podium. A spotlight shining on it. A white screen sat to one side with a slide show presentation introducing the lecture Jared had planned.

  Gunnar Volund crossed in front of me and slid into a seat three or four down from mine in the center of the row somewhere. I paid him no mind. I was struggling not to think of Alaric. Trying in vain to keep my mind occupied with something, anything else. I resorted to praying for him, as a happy medium. The words swirling in my head over and over until Jared took his place at the podium and the lights dimmed.

  “Good afternoon…” he began. He spoke at length about our project and what we had accomplished so far and I turned in my seat to realized that more of the lecture hall had filled out and that there was likely several philanthropists and potential investors in the audience. He was making a pretty grand show out of all of this and I was proud of him. People seemed genuinely interested and engaged. At one point I had to stand and wave, a spotlight on me as he gave me props for discovering the runes obscured in the buildup of minerals and dirt that originally encrusted the hilt and I did my best to smile and look proud, but quickly retook my seat.

  Finally he got to the meat of it.

  “After much research, ladies and gentleman, I am proud to announce that we have a name.” he let it sink in, there were murmurs and whispers and he let them quiet until it was so silent you could hear a pin drop. The words that fell from his lips were like a nuclear bomb.

  “Alrekr Hakon Frithjof.”

  Gunnar Volund jumped in his seat and made a triumphant noise and I turned to look at him. He was grinning widely and looked ecstatic and, well, good for him. I closed my eyes and pressed a hand over my heart and wanted desperately for the floor to swallow me up and take me away from the sharp burning pain that welled in my chest like acid, eating up the remains of my broken heart. I think in that moment I finally understood, even more so than when my parents died, about why people called God cruel because I was cut to the quick and beyond.

  Jared was speaking but I didn’t hear it. I sat numbly, in disbelief and tried valiantly to rally myself. I plastered a grin on my face while all the while I was screaming over and over inside my heart, inside my head. I rose and shook hands with people, trembling all the while. People laughed and commented and I just agreed, yes, I was shaking because I was overwhelmed, yes this was an incredible break through, yes, I was shaking from just total excitement.

  Never in my life did I want to die more than right then. Just crawl into bed and go to sleep and never wake up. I went on auto pilot. I’m telling you I can’t remember all that was said to me or what I said in return. Volund was elated and pledging millions both in donations and investments, check books were appearing like mushrooms after a rain and Jared looked over the moon and that was what finally broke through. My friend, my boss, he was happy and I was happy for him. I blinked several times, tears coming to my eyes as the grief I felt I was drowning in receded just enough so that I could breathe.

  “There you go,” was breathed in my ear and a small amount of comfort edged its way in. I turned but of course no one was there, but I felt him as sure as he was standing right next to me.

  “Thank you Rizoel.” I breathed, recognizing the lyrical voice. I of course received no answer, but I did feel a little stronger. A catered reception had been arranged in celebration, and those of us in the lecture hall retreated to the area set aside for us.

  “This is good yeah?” Volund sat down at my table where I had my leg propped on a vacant chair. I looked at him and smiled tiredly.

  “Yes, very.”

  “Then why do you look as if your world has been destroyed?” he asked and sipped from his drink.

  “Because it has.” I answered, then, “Meet me at Lupa, it’s an Italian place on Thompson St. Eight o’clock. There are some things I need to tell you about Alrekr.” I pronounced it correctly, which threw him. I could see it because his brow furrowed. He nodded and I made my excuses, gathered my belongings from back in the lab and went home. I was happy about our breakthrough, about our progress, and in some ways I was so glad that Alaric had been Gunnar’s ancestor and that all of this tangled together as it did, all of us touching, despite the distance, despite the gap in time and despite all of us being worlds apart.

  As I took the subway home I had a moment of clarity. God really did work in mysterious ways, and as sure as I was of anything I was caught up in some big plan. I just couldn’t see the big picture. Raphael’s words came back to me.

  “Be patient Gracelyn. Good things come to those who wait. I know that your time on the mortal coil is fleeting, but wait. These are my parting words to you.”

  Okay fine. So I would wait all though Hell if knew what I was waiting for and just because I would wait didn’t mean I would let Alaric go from my heart or my mind. It also didn’t mean I would sit on my ass and do nothing if I thought that Alaric and me, that we could do some good. At least our story anyway and so I got ready for dinner and hailed a cab.

  Chapter 40

  This was a role reversal. I sat quietly at a secluded table in the back and waited for Volund to arrive, which he did, security escort in tow.

  “Lose the suit.” I sad jutting my chin in the hulking body guard’s direction. He frowned in suspicion but finally nodded to the man and he went to stand out front of the restaurant. Volund took his seat.

  “You have questions, go ahead and ask ‘em” I said.

  “My ancestor’s name, to hear it spoken aloud, it was as if you died, never have I seen such raw pain on anyone’s face before.” He frowned.

  “Is there a question in there?” I asked.

  “Yes. Why?” he sat back and the waiter came and poured us some wine and took our orders.

  “I’m surprised you asked that instead of about our little walk in the park.” I said when we were alone again.

  “I have many questions.” He admitted, “That was just the first that came to mind.”

  “Fair enough.” I struggled with where to begin finally settling on starting from the beginning.

  “I was depressed.” I said, and his eyebrows went up. “Just listen, I was depressed and it was hard, my friends left me
one by one, finally, in January I thought I had completely lost my shit.” He laughed, I glared and he fell silent.

  “I woke up on my roof a step away from taking a fifteen story swan dive. I managed to get down and back to my apartment but the door was locked from the inside.” He looked at me skeptically.

  “You want an explanation for the albino fire-eyed demon warrior thing in the park?” I asked stumbling over the alien description of Alaric.

  “Yes.” He said shortly.

  “Then take everything I’m saying at face value, as the truth and I’ll get to it.” I said.

  “Very well. Apologies.” He looked cowed. His curiosity must have been eating him alive. I pressed on.

  “Where was I?”

  “Your door was locked from the inside.”

  “Right, so one minute I’m in my bed fast asleep, next I’m on my roof having an epic freak out and now I’m out in the hall way at like three in the morning and my apartment door is locked from the inside, and then it wasn’t.” I said and took a sip of my wine.

  “It wasn’t.” he repeated.

  “Yep, I heard the lock let go and the door swung open and I went in.” I searched his face. He raised an eyebrow.

  “Who was inside?” he asked.

  “Nobody.” I said.

  “Nobody?”

  “Nope. Little did I know that was my first brush with Alaric.” I pressed on before he could say anything.

  “I didn’t know what to do, so I decided not to do anything. I pretended like what happened had never happened and life went on. A few days later I woke up at my kitchen sink with my wrist gushing blood down the drain.” I held up my wrist and showed him the thin white scar.

  “Apparently I cut it in my sleep with a kitchen knife. I wrapped it up, took myself to the hospital and lied my ass off, said the knife slipped while I was cutting some vegetables for a late night dinner. They called my best friend at the time, she was my emergency contact. It was also the final straw for her when she showed up with the new guy she was seeing and he couldn’t stop talking about me for a few days after. She said she didn’t want to be my friend anymore and my whole world unraveled at the seams…”