Dead Clown Barbecue
Page 28
His short fiction has appeared in such anthologies as The Monster's Corner, These Guns for Hire, and all three volumes of the Blood Lite series. He lives in Tampa, Florida, and you can visit his Gleefully Macabre website at www.JeffStrand.com.
OTHER BOOKS BY JEFF STRAND
Pressure. What if your best friend was a killer . . . and he wanted you to be just like him? Bram Stoker Award nominee for Best Novel.
Dweller. The story of a decades-long friendship between Toby and the monster that lives in the woods behind his home. Bram Stoker Award nominee for Best Novel.
Wolf Hunt. Two thugs for hire. One beautiful woman. And one vicious frickin' werewolf.
Suckers (with JA Konrath). Andrew Mayhem meets Harry McGlade. Which one will prove to be more incompetent?
A Bad Day For Voodoo. A young adult horror/comedy about why sticking pins in a voodoo doll of your history teacher isn't always the best idea.
Fangboy. A dark comedy fairy tale about the adventures of Nathan Pepper, who was born with a mouth full of sharp teeth.
The Sinister Mr. Corpse. The feel-good zombie novel of the year.
Benjamin's Parasite. A rather disgusting action/horror/comedy about why getting infected with a ghastly parasite is unpleasant.
Kutter. Charlie Stanlon is a reprehensible serial killer, a vicious beast who cares about nobody . . . until he finds an injured Boston Terrier in the park . . .
Gleefully Macabre Tales. A collection of thirty-two demented tales. Bram Stoker Award nominee for Best Collection.
The Severed Nose. What would you do if you came home one evening and found a severed nose lying on a plate on your dining room table?
Disposal. Frank, a self-proclaimed scumbag, is hired to murder an old man . . . but the old bastard just won't DIE!!!
Elrod McBugle on the Loose. A comedy for kids (and adults who were warped as kids).
Out of Whack. A coming-of-age comedy about love, friendship, and the realization that trying to yank somebody's panties off in a passionate manner can only lead to wedgies.
How to Rescue a Dead Princess. A ridiculous spoof of fantasy novels. Lots and lots and lots of jokes, but I'm willing to admit that it perhaps tries a bit too hard.
The Haunted Forest Tour (with Jim Moore). The greatest theme park attraction in the world! Take a completely safe ride through an actual haunted forest! Just hope that your tram doesn't break down, because this forest is PACKED with monsters . . .
Draculas (with JA Konrath, Blake Crouch, and F. Paul Wilson). An outbreak of feral vampires in a secluded hospital. This one isn't much like Twilight.
For information on all of these books, visit Jeff Strand's more-or-less official website at http://www.jeffstrand.com.
Find him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/JeffStrandAuthorFanPage.
To subscribe to Jeff Strand's newsletter, email JeffStrandNewsletter@gmail.com.
CREDITS
"Pett Semmuteary," "Stop Stabbing Me," "Dummy," "Pregnancy Test," "True Hero," "Fangboy and the Troll," and "Push The Button" are previously unpublished.
"Comeuppance" Horror World. 2007.
"The Apocalypse Ain't So Bad" Horror Library, Volume 3. 2008.
"Work/Life Balance" Help Wanted: Tales of On-The-Job Terror. 2012.
"Eight-Legged Vengeance" Blood Lite II: Overbite. 2010.
"The Drop" Delirium Books website. 2007.
"Mr. Twitcher's Miracle Baby-Chopping Machine" Desolate Souls. 2008.
"The Carver" World Horror Convention Souvenir Book. 2012.
"Here's What Happened . . ." Waiting for October. 2007.
"The Bell . . . FROM HELL!!!" Blood Lite. 2008.
"Bad Cover Art" Originally published as "The Cover" Necrotic Tissue #10. 2010.
"My Knife Collection" Cemetery Dance #60. 2009.
"Drain Bamage" Horror Library, Volume 4. 2010.
"Gramma's Corpse" Waiting for October. 2007.
"Immunity" Bits of the Dead. 2008.
"Burden" Shroud Magazine #6. 2009.
"Rough Draft" Horror World. 2010.
"Dead in the Water" Zombie Nation: St. Pete. 2010.
"The Big Bite" Monstrous. 2009.
"We Believe" Author's website. 2008.
"Poor Career Choice" These Guns For Hire. 2006.
"Chomp (A Cautionary Tale)" Relics & Remains. 2012.
"The Severed Nose" Morning Star Books. 2009.
- END -
Table of Contents
Copyright
INTRODUCTION
Pett Semmuteary
Comeuppance
The Apocalypse Ain't So Bad
The Bell . . . FROM HELL!!!
Work/Life Balance
Stop Stabbing Me
Eight-Legged Vengeance
The Drop
Here's What Happened . . .
Pregnancy Test
Mr. Twitcher's Miracle Baby-Chopping Machine
The Carver
Push the Button
My Knife Collection
Drain Bamage
Gramma's Corpse
Burden
Rough Draft
Fangboy and the Troll
Dead in the Water
Immunity
The Big Bite
Specimen 313
We Believe
Poor Career Choice
True Hero
Chomp (A Cautionary Tale)
The Severed Nose
Dummy
Story Notes
About the Author
Other Books by Jeff Strand