Attack of the Jack

by R. L. Stine

  The little pirate laughed again. “It’s Jack Attack time! Jack the Knife is here to stay, mate!”

  “Get back in!” I cried. I grabbed the box and pounded my fist on the pirate’s head. I pounded and pushed. “Get back in! Get back.”

  “It’s a Jack Attack! I won’t go back!”

  And as he said that, he began to grow.

  “Whoa!”

  Startled, I uttered a cry and jerked my hand away. I toppled onto my back as the pirate started to expand.

  Bobbing on his spring, he raised himself out of the box. He stretched his arms at his sides as he rose.

  Gaping in disbelief, I struggled to my feet. I gasped as I saw the metal spring disappear. The pirate figure grew legs. Black boots appeared at the bottoms of white sailor pants.

  Shawn was still on his knees on the floor, staring up at the growing pirate, his eyes bulging in horror. I stumbled back.

  The pirate swayed unsteadily on his black boots. He tilted forward, then back, gaining his balance. He loomed over Shawn and me, more than six feet tall.

  His mustache flapped, his brown eyes flashed gleefully, and his mouth moved now.

  “Are ye afraid of Jack the Knife?” he boomed. “You have good reason to be afraid!”

  “This … This is crazy!” Shawn cried. He jumped to his feet and grabbed my arm. “Violet, what are we going to do?”

  Jack the Knife tossed back his head and laughed, his brown eyes rolling around like marbles.

  I brought my face close to Shawn’s and whispered, “Come on. We’re outta here.”

  I gazed around the room. The explosion had scattered the jack-in-the-boxes all over the floor.

  I turned and started toward the door. But wait … it wasn’t on the same wall. Somehow the room was all turned around. A heavy fisherman’s net was draped over the door. That definitely hadn’t been there before. How could this be?

  I couldn’t contain my fright. I opened my mouth and screamed. “Uncle Jim! Uncle Jim! Can you hear me?”

  The pirate’s grin didn’t fade. “He can’t hear you now, my girl.”

  I swung back to Jack. “Who are you?” I cried in a trembling voice. “What do you want?”

  “You have to let us go,” Shawn added almost in a whisper.

  The pirate raised his arm and rubbed his mustache with the curled part of his hook. He lowered his gaze to the floor, and his eyes moved from box to box.

  “Where are ye, mates?” he boomed. “Rise and shine, me hearties! Rise and shine, everyone! Are ye sailors or are ye lazy sons of a sea tortoise?”

  I heard a rattling sound. And then Pop! Pop! Pop!

  Boxes jumped and skittered across the floor as they popped open, one at a time. To my shock, the little puppets Shawn and I had seen sprang up.

  They sprang up chattering, with tinny voices that rang off the walls and low ceiling. All talking at once. And as they talked, they began to grow.

  Like Jack the Knife, they rose from their boxes, swinging from side to side on their springs. Their heads and bodies appeared to inflate, and their clothes stretched to fit them.

  “Reporting for duty, Captain.”

  “Aye aye, sir.”

  “Top of the morning, mates.”

  “Time to ride the white-water waves.”

  Their voices deepened as they grew taller.

  Shawn and I froze in horror as they stepped out of their little boxes, their boots clattering on the floor. The chimpanzee in a white sailor suit. The two-headed sailor. The blond woman with the long pigtails down her back. A pirate with a parrot on his shoulder.

  “Welcome, mates!” Jack shouted, spreading his arms in greeting. “We sleep no more. The time for action has arrived.”

  The grown figures each tossed an arm into the air and cheered. The chimp made a hooting sound and bounced up and down on his hairy bare feet.

  The two-headed sailor stepped forward. He was tall and thin and his sailor suit was baggy. It was much too big for him, but he had green suspenders to help hold his pants up. His heads were identical. They were completely bald, and had tiny black eyes over beak-like noses.

  “Must be good weather for sailing,” one head said.

  “We don’t need good weather to sail,” the other head replied.

  “Yes, we do.”

  “No, we don’t.”

  “The weather is important to a sailing man.”

  “No, it isn’t.”

  Jack the Knife stepped up and poked his hook onto their chest. “Easy, me hearties. We’re not the ones to be sailing today.”

  He turned to Shawn and me. “The one on the left is Salty Magee, a good sailing man if ever there was one. The one on the right goes by the name Pepper Magee. You won’t find anyone better than Salty and Pepper.”

  The other sailors all shouted agreement.

  The chimp hooted again. “Easy, Chuckles,” Jack told him. “I’ve got a banana for you if you behave.”

  Chuckles grinned and bounced up and down.

  Jack turned to the woman sailor. Her big, dark eyes darted back and forth nervously. “And how are ye today, Mad Madeline?” Jack demanded.

  She tossed back her blond pigtails. “Go squeeze a frog and see if it burps,” she replied.

  Jack laughed. “Mad as ever, aren’t ye, Madeline?”

  She sneered at him. “Can you swallow a flounder without choking on it? I’d like to see you try.”

  Jack’s smile faded. “Madeline, can you curtsy to your leader?”

  She put her lips together and made a rude sound.

  Some of the others laughed. But they stopped when Jack turned and scowled at them.

  I realized my whole body was shaking. I took a deep breath and tried to sound calm. “Nice to meet you all,” I said. “But my brother and I have to leave now.”

  “Well spoken, me girl,” Jack replied. “But that isn’t in the stars.”

  “In the stars?” I said. “What do you mean? Shawn and I have to go. Our Uncle Jim will be here any minute.”

  “Yes, he’ll be looking for us,” Shawn added, huddled close to me.

  Some of the sailors laughed at that.

  “Their uncle is looking for them,” Salty Magee said.

  “No, he isn’t,” Pepper Magee replied.

  “We have other plans for you,” Jack the Knife said, rubbing his cheek with the tip of his hook. “Dangerous plans, don’t you know.”

  “Tusk tusk. My uncle was a walrus,” Mad Madeline said. “Did you ever meet my Uncle Wally?”

  “No, please,” I pleaded. “Listen to me. We have to go back to our uncle—right now.” Then Shawn and I cupped our hands around our mouths and started to scream: “Uncle Jim! Help us! Uncle Jim! Hurry!”

  Some of the sailors laughed again. The chimp in the sailor suit scratched his head and grinned so wide, I could see his pink gums.

  Jack shook his head, pretending to be sad. “A pity. The old admiral can’t hear you,” he said. “You see, he’s not in a place where he can hear you.”

  I stared at him. “What do you mean? Where is our uncle?”

  The pirate lifted a box off the floor and handed it to me. “Go ahead, Missy. Turn the crank.”

  “Don’t do it,” Shawn urged.

  Jack the Knife stood over me. He had his hook raised in front of his chest. “Go ahead. Turn it. Let’s hear the pretty music.” He motioned to the other pirates. “Let’s all sing along, mates.”

  “N-no,” I stuttered. “I don’t want to.”

  A low growl escaped Jack’s lips. He lowered his hook to my shoulder and pressed it against me. “Turn it, Missy.”

  “Ow.” I had no choice. I held the box in one trembling hand and began to turn the crank on the side. The music plunked, and the pirates all sang along with it:

  All around the mulberry bush,

  The monkey chased the weasel.

  The monkey thought ’twas all in good fun,

  POP! goes the ADMIRAL.

  The lid flew open
—and a large, white-haired figure in a white sailor suit and cap came shooting up. It bounced crazily around on its spring.

  I gripped the box in both hands, brought it close to my face to study it—and screamed. “Uncle Jim!”

  “Oh noooooo!” Shawn wailed beside me.

  “What have you done to him? How did you do this?” I cried.

  Jack tapped me on the shoulder again with his hook. “It’s a fair trade, don’t ye agree? An admiral for a captain?” He laughed.

  Shawn and I stared in horror at the bouncing figure, the bulging stomach, the white hair falling from under his cap, the white mustache, our uncle’s red face, frozen in an openmouthed scream of horror.

  Jack the Knife stood watching us, a wide grin on his face. “As ye can see, your uncle can’t come to your rescue.”

  “You—you can’t do this!” I stammered.

  “Captain Jack the Knife can do anything,” Salty Magee said.

  “No, he can’t do everything,” Pepper disagreed.

  “Yes, he can.”

  “I beg to differ.”

  Jack raised his hook to stop the two-headed sailor from arguing with himself. He took the jack-in-the-box of Uncle Jim from my hands and handed it to another sailor.

  “Would you like the old admiral back?” he asked Shawn and me. “Would you like everything to go back to normal?”

  I didn’t answer the question. I signaled Shawn with my eyes. “Run!” I whispered.

  We both took off, running toward the far wall. If we could shove aside the heavy net that covered the door, perhaps we could escape.

  Jack and his pirates, startled by our sudden move, froze for a moment. I hurtled past him, dodged Mad Madeline, and dove toward the net.

  “Head for the lighthouse, Shawn,” I called. “Maybe we’ll be safe there.”

  “No, you won’t,” said Salty Magee, springing to life.

  “Yes, they will,” said Pepper, his other head. “Stop them!”

  “You stop them!” Salty shouted.

  “You stop them!” Pepper shot back.

  The two-headed sailor spread his arms, preparing to tackle us.

  Shawn ducked to the right. I ducked to the left. And we darted right past him. He spun around. Too late.

  The shouts of Jack and his pirates rang out behind us. Shawn and I were nearly to the net on the wall. I could see the door behind it clearly now.

  I dove for the door—when I heard Shawn’s cry.

  I turned and saw the big chimp tackle Shawn from behind. With a loud grunt, Shawn went down on his belly. Chuckles hopped onto Shawn’s back and began jumping up and down on him.

  “Noooo!” A cry escaped my throat.

  “Clambake on the beach! Clambake on the beach!” Mad Madeline was screaming. Did she ever make any sense at all?

  I lowered my shoulder and bumped the chimp hard. Chuckles toppled off Shawn and struggled to catch his balance. That gave me just enough time to grab Shawn’s hand and pull him to his feet.

  “Clambake on the beach!” I heard Mad Madeline’s cry behind us as we reached the net. Shawn and I both frantically tore at the net, struggling to push it aside.

  “Stop them! Stop them, you lugs!” Jack was screaming.

  The pirates closed in. Hands grabbed for us. I ducked my shoulder, tried to squirm free.

  The net fell away, and I grabbed the doorknob, twisted it—and Shawn and I burst through.

  We ducked our heads and kept running. The angry shouts and cries followed close behind us.

  Whoa! Wait a minute!

  The door didn’t lead back to the room with all of Uncle Jim’s treasures. We were outside! Shawn and I were running through tall grass.

  Breathing hard, my heart pounded so fast, my chest ached. I saw the blue-green ocean ahead of us, sparkling under the low afternoon sun.

  “Where is the lighthouse?” Shawn cried.

  We both spun in a circle. No sign of the lighthouse. It was gone! But that was impossible.

  The house, I realized, was different. This house was built of dark stone and had black shutters over all the windows.

  “Everything has changed!” I cried. I couldn’t keep my voice from trembling. I gasped breath after breath. “We did this, Shawn. When we opened the jack-in-the-box. Don’t you see? We changed everything!”

  We heard shouts from the house and then clomping footsteps.

  We turned and started to run again. A narrow dirt path led down to the beach. And to our left, I saw the wood plank dock, the dock that Uncle Jim’s tiny boat had been moored at.

  “Oh no!” A cry escaped my throat as I saw the big sailing ship anchored at the dock now. Not our uncle’s tiny speedboat. But a two-masted sailing ship with black sails.

  A pirate ship!

  The pirates came after us, blocking our getaway. We had no choice. Shawn and I ran onto the dock. Our shoes thudded loudly on the wood planks. The little dock swayed under our footsteps.

  Waves splashed up against both sides of the narrow dock. I felt the cold spray on my skin. Wave after wave crashed over the shore. High clouds dotted the afternoon sky.

  Panting for breath, we ran to the end of the dock. Surrounded by rolling waves now. Nothing but the ocean and the enormous pirate ship, bobbing in the water to our right.

  Trapped.

  Nowhere to run.

  The pirates closed in on us, led by Jack the Knife. They didn’t even have to run. They knew they had us trapped on the dock.

  Shawn and I exchanged frantic glances. Should we jump into the ocean?

  No. We weren’t strong swimmers. Besides, there was nowhere we could swim to safety.

  My heart pounded as we stood side by side on the edge of the dock. Water splashing up on three sides of us. The dock trembling under the weight of all of us as we watched Jack and his pirates move closer, already grinning in triumph.

  “Are they going to push us into the water?” Shawn asked in a tiny voice. I could barely hear him over the pounding waves.

  A wave crashed over my feet, sending a shiver of cold up my body. I kept my eyes on Jack as he led his pirates toward us. He had a jagged knife raised in his hand, the blade gleaming in the red afternoon sunlight. His hook was raised menacingly. He was ready for battle.

  “Please—” I stuttered as he stepped up close. “Please—”

  Shawn pressed against me. Nowhere to back away. Our heels were already over the edge of the dock. One push and we’d be in the tossing waters.

  Jack lowered his knife. His eyes were on me. “I believe I asked a question before you decided to leave so rudely, my girl.”

  I swallowed. “A … a question?”

  He nodded. “I believe I asked if ye would like to get your uncle back? If ye would like to return to your old life?”

  “Yes. Yes. Definitely yes,” I answered breathlessly.

  “Yes. How can we get Uncle Jim back? Tell us,” Shawn cried.

  Jack rubbed his chin with his hook. “Well … listen carefully,” he said. “There’s only one way you can do it.”

  The pirates circled us and forced us back into the house. The jack-in-the-boxes, their lids standing open, were still scattered over the floor.

  Jack’s pirates sat on the floor with their backs against one wall. Mad Madeline paced in front of them, her pigtails flying behind her.

  “Sit ye down, Maddy,” Jack ordered.

  “Go sit on a one-legged parrot,” she replied. She tossed back her head and laughed as if she had made a great joke.

  Salty and Pepper took her arm gently and helped her sit down.

  Shawn and I stood in the middle of the room, our arms crossed in front of us. I felt a little safer away from the edge of the dock. But a chill lingered at the back of my neck as I waited to hear Jack’s words.

  He adjusted the red bandanna over his long, straight black hair. His dark eyes moved from Shawn to me. His expression was serious.

  “If ye want to save old Admiral Jim and return to your life as ye
knew it …” He gestured with his hook as he talked. “It be simple.”

  “Simple Simon ate a pie man!” Mad Madeline shouted from her place against the wall.

  Chuckles the chimp hooted, as if he thought that was funny.

  “Wh-what do we have to do?” I stammered.

  “Sail to Clam Island,” Jack answered. He waited for Shawn and me to react. But we just stood there, staring blankly back at him.

  “It’s a short journey if you follow the sun,” Jack said.

  “No, it isn’t,” Pepper Magee chimed in.

  “Yes, it is,” his other head argued.

  “We have to sail to an island?” I said, trying to make sense of his words.

  Jack nodded. “Sail to Clam Island and rescue Captain Pip.”

  Shawn and I exchanged glances. “Who is Captain Pip?” I asked.

  “My canary,” Jack said. “Pip was kidnapped by canary kidnappers, and I want him back.”

  “So Shawn and I go to Clam Island and bring back your canary?”

  “No,” Mad Madeline interrupted. “You sail to Canary Island and bring back his clam.” She tossed back her head and laughed again.

  “It be that simple,” Jack said, ignoring her. “If you bring back Captain Pip, I promise—on a pirate’s honor—to go back in my box. And all my crew will disappear, too. And Admiral Jim will return. All will be normal again.”

  “But—but—” Shawn sputtered.

  I pictured the huge ship at the dock with its tall masts and wide black sails. “It’s impossible. Shawn and I aren’t sailors,” I said. “We can’t sail a ship by ourselves.”

  Jack rolled his dark eyes. “Of course you can’t. Think Jack the Knife be a fool? That’s why I be sending a crew with you.”

  I glanced at the pirates sitting against the wall. “A crew?”

  Jack nodded. He pointed with his hook. “Salty and Pepper will be going with ye. And Chuckles. And Madeline. The best crew a sailor could ask for.”

  Was he joking?

  No. As he pointed to them, the three pirates jumped to their feet and saluted. “Aye aye,” Salty said.

  “Nay nay,” Pepper replied.

  “You’re supposed to say aye aye,” Salty corrected him.