The Chomolungma Diaries: What a commercial Everest expedition is really like (Footsteps on the Mountain travel diaries)

by Mark Horrell

  Grant's epic blog post of yesterday has won Alan Arnette's Everest Blog of the Day again. It's about the fourth time he's won this accolade on the expedition so far, and he's received quite a concerned comment in response from a female admirer who he's never met, professing how worried she is about him. We feel obliged to give him some stick about this, but most of our jokes aren't suitable to print, especially Mark's. By contrast all my post received was a frivolous comment on Facebook to a remark I made about Ian's alcohol consumption. Later in the afternoon, however, I receive ample compensation when we discover my post has been highlighted on the popular website ExplorersWeb and I've received several hundred visitors to my site as a result.

  Happy hour today becomes yet another long drinking session, and it appears that Phil's alcohol rationing system has broken down completely. Grant arrives from an afternoon at Jamie McGuinness's camp, where he was given four glasses of "dessert wine" (I put the phrase in inverted commas due to his description of it, which suggests he wasn't that impressed). This has made him even more garrulous than usual and he sits at one side of the table wearing a knitted red Tibetan hat with woven pigtails making snide remarks to each member of the team in turn. He later gets his come-uppance when he burns a six inch hole in the back of his trousers trying to warm his backside against the gas heater, much to our entertainment. The evening ends with another passionate (read "drunken") debate, this time about global warming.

  21. Memoirs of a superstar climber

  Tuesday 1 May, 2012 - Base Camp, Everest, Tibet

  Our Sherpa team leave early this morning to go back up to ABC. They have a long hard few days ahead of them as they plan to establish camps and oxygen caches all the way up to Camp 3 at 8300 metres. Words cannot express the respect I have for these guys, without whom most of us would simply be unable to get anywhere near the summit.

  Later in the morning Phil receives our first detailed weather forecast, which indicates the wind will begin dropping off from Friday 4th and be very light above the North Col from around the 5th to the 9th. The plan is therefore to have one more rest day here, then set off on our second rotation on Thursday. A few more days up high, followed by some rest should hopefully put us in good shape for a summit push when the weather window comes.

  We were all intending to have a dry day alcohol-wise today (well, perhaps not Ian), but when Andrew Lock and Jamie McGuinness drop by again just in time for happy hour, this intention is shelved. The fact that we won't be walking all the way up to ABC tomorrow after all helps to persuade Little Miss Temperance to retire for another lie down.

  For a superstar climber Andrew is remarkably egoless in our company, and fits in much more easily than the many other visitors Phil attracts. Many of these feel they need to dominate the conversation, which usually means talking about themselves. By contrast Andrew sits and listens for a lot of the time, taking an interest in other people's conversation and blending more naturally into the team, rather than behaving as an outsider. He has plenty of stories, though, which slip out from time to time. He tells us of the time he fell into conversation with Doug Scott about climbing routes a few minutes before the legendary British climber was due on stage to give a presentation about his first ascent of the Southwest Face of Everest in 1975. On that expedition he became the first Briton to climb Everest along with his climbing partner Dougal Haston. All his slides were neatly arranged in the projector, but he was so determined to show Andrew a feature on the route that he ended up pulling them all out and throwing them on the floor until he found the one he wanted.

  "Why the fuck doesn't he use PowerPoint?" says Mark. I have a feeling he's missed the point of Andrew's story.

  Some of Andrew's anecdotes about other climbers are more controversial, and it takes us some effort to tease them out of him. But as he intends to write a book about his climbs as soon as he's retired from mountaineering after this year's expedition, it's not for me to repeat any of them here.

  22. We're all adults

  Wednesday 2 May, 2012 - Base Camp, Everest, Tibet

  It's supposed to be our last rest day today before our second rotation higher up the mountain, and although the winds appeared to be dying down a little yesterday, it's howling a gale again at breakfast this morning. Phil suggests that depending on the weather forecast that comes in later this morning, we may give ourselves another rest day before going up. It's going to be a tough ten hour climb from Base Camp up to ABC, and the last thing we want to do is make it even more exhausting by completing it into a headwind.

  A nervous conversation follows about what to do on this additional rest day, which displays in all its glory the maturity of the climbers on our team.

  "If we do have another rest day, I'm not getting hammered again today," I tell Phil. "I know that's the norm during rest days on Junkies' expeditions, but this time I'm not getting involved."

  "It was Ian's fault yesterday," says Mark. "He keeps going out and fetching more wine. I'm not going to say no after he's gone to all that trouble."

  "No, it was Grant's fault," protests Ian.

  "Actually I think it was Andrew and Jamie's fault. If they hadn't turned up just in time for happy hour then I think we would have been more restrained," says Grant.

  "Guys, you're all adults," says Phil. "You all need to take responsibility for your own behaviour."

  He says this with a disingenuous smirk on his face which suggests he knows perfectly well it isn't true.

  At eleven o'clock our weather forecast arrives, and it makes us quite excited. On Friday the winds are predicted to drop off completely all the way to the summit. This should give the China Tibet Mountaineering Association an opportunity to complete the rope fixing, and our own Sherpas, who went up a couple of days ago, the chance to establish our supply lines (principally 80 oxygen bottles) at camps all the way up to 8300 metres. This is the unsung donkey work which enables amateur mountaineers like myself to climb in safety in a single summit push. We all agree there's not much point in leaving for ABC tomorrow while it's still windy, when we can leave on Friday and walk up in calm. If we're feeling strong enough then we can have a short rotation of only four or five days, get up to the North Col and perhaps a little higher, then be back again resting at Base Camp by the 8th.

  The forecast may predict the winds will drop at the end of the week, but there's no evidence of that happening yet. This afternoon Chomolungma wears the biggest plume of cloud I've seen yet, and clouds howl past her summit like traffic on a motorway. I decide to take a six minute video of the summit to speed up when I get back home and demonstrate the movement of the wind, but it's so strong that my tripod keeps blowing over. The powerful blasts are perishingly cold, and I have to take it in turns holding one hand on the tripod while I warm the other one up in my trouser pocket.

  A huge plume of cloud as jetstream winds batter Everest's summit

  In the evening we're all feeling tired, and manage to subdue our excessive alcohol intake quite easily, even Ian. Instead we transfer our appetite to excessive eating when Da Pasang serves up the biggest, tenderest roast chicken leg I've eaten for a long time, and follows it up with chocolate cake. My appetite has been up and down on the expedition so far, but food like this will always keep me on the right side of hunger.

  23. Jamie the Weather Man

  Thursday 3 May, 2012 - Base Camp, Everest, Tibet

  This morning seems to be all about the weather, Phil sees members of the Adventure Peaks team passing through camp at seven o'clock this morning on their way up to ABC. There's no sign of the wind abating earlier than predicted: it's still windy as hell at Base Camp this morning, and if anything the plume on Everest's summit is even bigger than it was yesterday afternoon. Our decision to delay our departure another day is looking like the right one, and no one envies Adventure Peaks the long cold day they have ahead of them.

  Phil's eleven o'clock forecast from Michael Fagin of the US company West Coast Weatheris essentially saying the same as it d
id yesterday, with a period of calm expected for a few days starting from tomorrow. A little while later Andrew Lock brings Jamie McGuinness over with his laptop containing the forecast from the competing European weather company Meteotest. Jamie is a bit of a weather guru, and we all sit in a circle in the comms tent while he reads it out and gives his interpretation. He talks in a bit more detail about cyclones and the jetstream, and the various scenarios where the models may be wrong, but essentially his forecast is the same as Phil's, although he thinks there may be a few inches of snow from the 6th onwards. Just as importantly, he doesn't see anything at the moment which may prevent there being a decent summit window before the end of May. Our immediate plans are clear. We get up there, try to get above the North Col, then come back down to Base Camp again as quickly as we can. Then we rest up and wait for our summit window.

  Jamie McGuinness gives his weather forecast in the communications tent

  It clouds over in the afternoon, and Chomolungma hides from view as a light snow falls. The wind continues to gust and Phil begins to doubt the forecasts. But we're all keen to get out of here tomorrow after six days of doing nothing (from an exercise point of view, if not a drinking one).

  24. The world's most enjoyable acclimatisation programme

  Friday 4 May, 2012 - Advanced Base Camp (ABC), Everest, Tibet

  At 6.30 this morning all is calm, and it looks like the weather forecasts were right after all. Phil thinks there may be a small amount of precipitation in the afternoon, but there's no sign of the violent wind which has been our constant companion for most of the last few weeks. I set off with Mila at 7.45, but shortly after we've crossed the flat boulder plain of Base Camp and started along the narrow trail beside lateral moraine on the left-hand side of the main Rongbuk Glacier, I stop hearing her footfall behind me. I complete the rest of the ascent to ABC at my own easy pace.

  There's a thin veil of cloud across the North Face of Everest, but otherwise the sky is clear, and it's pleasant walking to begin with. Phil overtakes me early on, and as I start the steep plodding ascent up the side valley of the East Rongbuk, I look back to see Ian and Mark approaching behind me. Both of them had originally intended to stay down in Base Camp while the rest of us did our second rotation, but Phil persuaded them of the benefits of joining us (no doubt in part due to his concern that if Laurel and Hardy stayed in Base Camp any longer, then there may not be any alcohol left when the rest of us returned).

  The temperature is very pleasant for this sort of walking. Although the sun is high, there's a chill in the air and I walk comfortably in fleece and Gore-Tex salopettes. It's easy to get into a rhythm, and a light dusting of snow has given the East Rongbuk Valley a picturesque quality. Ian overtakes me in the region of Japanese Camp, but never stays very far ahead. We pass through this broad boulder-strewn area at only 9.15, and since I seem to be going well, I continue without stopping. Beyond this I pause from time to time to take two or three swigs of water, but never for longer than a minute. I pass through Interim Camp at 10.40, and am amazed how well we are making time. There's no reason at all to stop for a night here once you are acclimatised. I had hoped to be able to complete today's walk in nine hours if everything went well, but now it's clear I'm going to be much quicker than that.

  It's on the Magic Highway beyond Interim Camp that I begin to catch Ian again. While I execute the slow plod without stopping, he appears to be pausing every few metres for a breather. Only when I reach him do I realise why. He's picked up a bad cough, and every 50 metres or so he finds himself bending over to have a coughing fit. I offer him water, but he indicates that I should continue without fussing over him. A little while later I hear him coughing right behind me again, and I turn and walk back to him.

  "Take it easy, Ian. We're making good time," I say.

  "I think I might turn back," he replies.

  "That's not a bad idea." I offer him water again, and ask if he wants me to call Phil on the radio for advice. But as usual for Ian, he declines all assistance.

  "Don't forget, Mark is behind you. You can always discuss it with him when he catches you up."

  I leave him sitting on the moraine as I continue on, but I should know from experience how tenacious he is. He soldiers on, determined to keep up with me. Despite my endless slow plod and his constant coughing fits that leave him bent double like a drunk man over a toilet, he reaches camp only 15 minutes behind me.

  Approaching Changtse Base Camp

  I stop for a snack at Changtse Base Camp, but it's cold and windy, so I rest for only five minutes for a piece of cheese and a fun-sized Mars bar before putting on my windproof jacket and continuing on my way. It has clouded over, and a light sleet is falling by the time I reach ABC at 2.45. It has taken me exactly seven hours.

  "Fucking hell," says Phil in his usual eloquent fashion as he pokes his head out of his tent. "We weren't expecting you for another couple of hours."

  I'm ushered into the kitchen tent, where all the Sherpas are sitting round after their latest carry up to the North Col. I'm given a couple of mugs of milk tea, but it takes a while for me to get my breath back, and I spend the rest of the afternoon resting in my tent. The others are also very quick. Grant and Mark arrive an hour after me, and Margaret and Mila half an hour later.

  "Fucking hell, everyone's on fire today," I hear Phil repeating from the comfort of my tent.

  It's true, and I'm beginning to revise my opinion of what you should do on an expedition rest day. When he came over yesterday to give us his weather forecast, Jamie mentioned that it's important to get some sort of exercise every day while you're at Base Camp, and previously I would have been inclined to agree with him. But during the six days we spent at Base Camp after our first rotation, my exercise has consisted of walking from sleeping tent to toilet tent to dining tent to comms tent and back again. Most of the time I've either been sitting on my arse in the dining tent or lying on my back in my sleeping tent. The furthest I've walked is ten metres downwind of my tent for a piss. In addition to this we've drunk alcohol every day, and on at least three evenings most of us have probably had the equivalent of a bottle of wine each. This isn't the best way to keep fit, but it doesn't seem to have done us any harm at all. In fact, Ian has been going out for short walks, and he's the one who's picked up a cough. It's quite conceivable that the wind and the dust which sneaks into your lungs make walking harmful, and cowering in our tents has actually been the healthiest option for us. My regime over the last week can best be summed up as rest and relaxation, and at the end of it I've managed to walk 17 kilometres and climb 1250 vertical metres at a very high altitude in just seven hours. It's a promising sign. A better test will be to see how we perform when we go up to the North Col again in a couple of days' time. And also, of course, whether we make a similar improvement in performance when we come back for our summit push – nobody wants to peak too early.

  In any case, whatever it is Phil puts in his red wine, I think I'm going to have some more of it.

  25. High altitude disco

  Saturday 5 May, 2012 - Advanced Base Camp (ABC), Everest, Tibet

  All is white at ABC this morning. The cold and the winds of our last visit here have been replaced by cloudy skies and a light snow. The sun is trying to peep through, which means it's very warm inside the tents, but it never quite manages it. There's no sign of Everest – we only know that it's up there somewhere. Our Sherpas leave at six o'clock this morning for another carry up to the col and to move our Camp 1, which is on too much of a gradient for Phil's liking. They return at midday, and report that it was sweltering climbing in their down suits.

  We have a rest day doing virtually nothing. It should be a peaceful afternoon, but some idiot's carted a disco up here. As I lie in my tent on a glacier at 6400 metres trying to get some rest, I have to listen to a pumping bass line being boomed out across ABC from a neighbouring camp. It's completely inappropriate, and I make a secret wish that the mountain gods find a way of expressing
their disapproval, preferably by making a loose rock fall onto their stereo. I later revoke this curse when Phil tells me the disco belongs to the Tibetan rope fixing team.

  Where possible we've been trying to get news of other teams on the mountain using our intermittent internet connection. It's made for quite interesting reading. Things have certainly been uneventful for us compared with many other teams. The Russian 7 Summits Club team spent a night at the North Col, and described feeling trapped by the winds up there, touched as they were by the jetstream. We watched these winds from Base Camp and didn't fancy them at all, and wondered what on earth anyone was doing up there instead of staying put. It was windy enough for us down below. On the south side of Everest it sounds like they've been experiencing even greater troubles. Apparently there's been so little snow this year that the Lhotse Face, normally a snow plod, has become loaded with rock fall. They are talking of moving the fixed ropes to a safer line, but this will involve putting them up slopes of blue ice demanding greater technical skills than many clients on Everest possess (I hesitate to call some of them "climbers", as for a small minority of them Everest is far beyond anything they've climbed previously). All of this is just rumour to us over on the north side, but it sounds like this season on Everest is going to be an interesting one, with many lessons to be learned.