Jake Undone

by Ward, Penelope

  I met a girl, a few months back

  With huge blue eyes and an amazing rack.

  Turned out she was moving in

  And kind of looked like an Olsen twin.

  She put up with my shit and sarcastic wit.

  And faced my wrath when she sucked at math.

  Until her, it had been a while

  Since anyone truly made me smile.

  It might have been fate, in a way…

  Her moving in that day.

  I found the more time with her I’d spend

  She actually became my best friend.

  When we made love, things did change.

  In fact, it’s really strange.

  That friend delivered by fate?

  Turns out…she was my soulmate.

  And as I lay here watching her sleep,

  I realize my feelings run deep.

  Because they burn and cut like a knife.

  I think I love her more than life.

  P.S. On my second birthday, you came into the world and were the best present I never knew I got. And this year? Best. Birthday. Ever.

  The paper shook in my hand as I reread his beautiful words and took it all in.

  Soulmate.

  He loved me more than life.

  It was his birthday too?

  After a few minutes, his body stirred, and I jumped as his hand squeezed my side. His eyes opened, and he smiled groggily. “I see you got my note.”

  I turned to him so our faces were just inches apart and pulled him into a gentle kiss. “I love you, Jake. The days since we met have been the happiest of my life.”

  He kissed me harder, then said, “I meant every word…except the Olsen twin part.” He chuckled. “You don’t really look like them to me, actually. Ryan mentioned it before you moved in, and I messed with you about it that first day. You look more like a young Brigitte Bardot.”

  Note to self: Google Brigitte Bardot.

  He caressed my face. “You fell asleep in my arms, and I couldn’t sleep because I was so overcome with emotion. I had to get it all out. So I did it on paper. But now, I need to tell you that I am so crazy in love with you, Nina Kennedy.”

  He pulled me in for another kiss, sucking on my bottom lip gently before slowly releasing it. My panties were already moist again. My appetite for him was insatiable.

  “Your birthday was really yesterday too? Seriously…January 8th?”

  He ran his fingers through my hair and nodded. “I couldn’t fucking believe it when Tarah texted me Friday about your birthday being Sunday. My nieces had planned this party for me that day. They are so cute. But I wasn’t about to miss being here with you, so I promised them a rain check next weekend. I couldn’t wait to tell you we shared a birthday. I was gonna say something last night when we broke away from the crowd. I had this whole funny thing planned out about how I was going to tell you, but as you know, the date never happened. Believe me, the alternative was so much better.”

  A thought occurred to me and I laughed. “I guess I’m going to have to break the news to my parents, that I’ve fallen in love with my nerdy roommate.”

  “Say what, now?”

  “I’ve…sort of…painted a picture of you that’s not entirely accurate, so they wouldn’t think I was living with a guy I was attracted to.”

  His eyes widened as he grinned. “And so, they think I’m a nerd?”

  “Yes. A nerdy engineer.” I laughed.

  “You know what I think would be really funny?”

  “What?”

  “If I actually played the part. Like, put on some glasses, wore a pocket protector, took out my piercings and covered my tats when you take me home. We could have some fun with it. They’d be happy and trust me enough to let me in your room. We could say we were studying. Then, I’d close the door, take off my disguise and fuck you on your canopy bed.”

  We both started laughing hysterically at the thought.

  He made me so happy.

  I kissed him. “No way. I want you just the way you are all of the time. And I want them to meet you.”

  He jumped up. “Shit. You had me so distracted last night, I totally forgot about your birthday gift.”

  “Where are you going?” I asked.

  “It’s in my room.”

  Jake ran down the hall and returned with a small black velvet bag with a rope string and sat down on the bed. “My brother-in-law had given one of these to my sister on Christmas. It made me want to get one for you, so I went online that night and ordered one. I didn’t even know when I was going to give it to you. It happened to come in the mail yesterday. I would say after last night, the timing was perfect. I hope you like it.”

  Prying the drawstring open, I pulled out a beautiful sterling silver charm bracelet.

  I held it in my hand and turned to him. “Jake…”

  He took it from me, opened the lobster clasp and placed it on my wrist. “You can actually go online and custom make these with whatever charms you want. They have literally every single thing you can think of. These are all the things that remind me of you.” He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed it.

  I touched each charm with my fingertips and was floored by the thought he had put into selecting them. There was an airplane, a pair of dice, a four-leaf clover, an angel…even a little bat.

  “This…this is the most thoughtful present I have ever received. I can’t believe you were thinking of me like that over Christmas.”

  “I couldn’t get you off my mind over Christmas. You knew that. Didn’t I make it painfully obvious?”

  “Sort of. But I loved it. I love this. I love you.”

  “I love you too, baby. I am glad you like it.”

  I got up and straddled him. “I haven’t even had a chance to get you a gift.”

  “You are my gift.”

  That moment was the single most precious of my life. I might as well have handed him my heart on a silver platter; it was his.

  It wouldn’t be long, though, before he would shatter it into a million pieces.

  CHAPTER 20

  The alarm went off at noon, and I was still exhausted. Jake must have set it before he left for work so that I wouldn’t sleep the entire day away. I had fallen back asleep in his arms shortly after he had given me the bracelet in the middle of the night and slept like a log after that.

  I stretched my arms in the air and yawned, smiling when I noticed a new origami bat on the nightstand. I opened it.

  I am batshit crazy for you. See you tonight.

  I kissed it and put it in the drawer with all of the rest, but that one was, by far, my favorite. Last night changed everything between us, and there was no going back. I sniffed my hair and could smell Jake all over it, all over me. His cologne and the scent of his body coated me after our long night of lovemaking. My lips were swollen, and I was sore in all the right places, still intoxicated by him.

  Six o’clock could not come soon enough because I was craving him again already. I was distracted and giddy, barely able to focus on what to wear. I looked down at the charm bracelet and closed my eyes. How had I lived my entire life without him?

  Dread soon set in as I reminded myself that we were having that talk tonight. I just wanted to get it over with, so we could move on. Whatever he needed to tell me, I would deal with it. It would be okay. We would be okay. We were in love, and that was all that mattered.

  Tarah was in the kitchen making a smoothie when I emerged from my room. I was startled to see her because I had forgotten that the salon was closed on Mondays and that she would be home at this time. I prepared myself for the third degree.

  She stopped the blender. “Well, good morning at half past one.”

  “I know. We didn’t get much sleep last night.”

  “Oh, believe me, none of us did.”

  I covered my face in embarrassment. “Shit. Were we that loud?”

  “I’m pretty sure my parents in Staten Island and my cousins in Jersey heard yo
u. Yes, you were definitely loud. Was it as good as it sounded?

  “What do you think?”

  “You’re flushed. I think he was just as good in bed as he looks like he’d be, if not better.”

  “You would be correct.”

  “Uh, yeah...I figured. Actually, I almost wish you had let me tell Ry about your feelings for Jake all this time, because he was seriously shocked. He had no idea that you two were more than friends.”

  “I know.”

  “I never realized how protective of you Ryan was until last night. He was tossing and turning and kept saying that Jake better not hurt you or he would fuck him up. And you know, he doesn’t normally talk like that.”

  “Shit. No he certainly doesn’t. Well, he is the closest thing I have to a brother, but he really shouldn’t be worried. Jake has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s helped me through so much. I’ve never felt safer with anyone in my entire life.”

  “I am glad that you two finally figured it all out last night. I knew it would happen eventually.” She paused and looked down. “Nina, I have to tell you something. I…knew about Jake and Desiree.”

  Silence.

  “I am sorry I never said anything. It was before you, so I didn’t think it really mattered. I didn’t quite know how to bring it up. She spent the night one time, like a week before you moved here. The bitch had always thrown herself at him. I knew it was just a cheap fling, and I didn’t want you to think badly of him because I could always tell he really liked you. Plus, I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable downstairs at the restaurant since we’re always there. I was trying to protect you, but I still should have told you.”

  I let out a deep breath. “It’s okay. I understand why you didn’t. I mean, how can I fault him for something that happened before he even met me?”

  “I’m glad you’re not upset with me,” she said.

  I was…a little.

  I quickly changed the subject to rid my mind of Desiree. “Did you know Jake’s birthday was yesterday too?”

  “What? You’re kidding!”

  “Dead serious. And look what he got me for mine.” I stuck out my arm to show off the bracelet.

  Tarah held my wrist, and her jaw dropped. “A charm bracelet. Sweet.”

  “Yes, with all the things that remind him of me.”

  “I knew he had it bad, but damn, girl.” She shook her head at me. “Look at you…you’re beaming.”

  “I can’t help it. I’ve never felt this way. I’m in love with him, Tarah.”

  She hugged me tightly then pulled back. “Make that two people who’ll fuck him up if he ever hurts you, then.”

  ***

  Jake called me from work at 2:45 that afternoon, and I answered the phone in my best throaty voice. “Hi, handsome.”

  “Nina?”

  “Yes, of course it’s me, silly. I’ve been thinking abou—”

  “Listen to me, okay? I have some bad news. Everything is okay, but I have to go to Boston tonight.”

  “What?”

  “There’s been an emergency, so I am actually flying instead of taking the train. I’m on my way to LaGuardia now.”

  My heart fell to my stomach. “You’re scaring me. What kind of emergency?”

  “It’s nothing to be scared about. There’s a situation that’s related to what I needed to discuss with you. We can’t have this conversation over the phone. We were supposed to talk tonight, but it’s going to have to be as soon as I get back. Please trust me. Everything is okay with us. Everything is going to be fine, and I promise to explain it to you in a couple of days. Nina…are you there?”

  I was silent for a few seconds then said, “Yes.”

  “I’ll call you as soon as I can later tonight.” He repeated, “I need you trust in me.”

  “I do trust you…but you can’t blame me for wondering and worrying.”

  “I know, baby. I know. It’s easier said than done, but please don’t worry, okay?”

  “As soon as you get back, we need to have that talk. The not knowing is starting to kill me.”

  “I promise,” he said amidst car horns and people shouting. “I just pulled up to the airport. I’ll call you later. I love you, Nina.”

  “I love you, too.”

  ***

  I spent the rest of the day Monday on pins and needles unable to eat or concentrate.

  Ryan had asked me where Jake was that night, and I explained that there was an emergency in Boston. He spent most of the evening interrogating me about what I really knew about Jake, trying to convince me that something didn’t seem right and warning me to be careful. I tried not to let him see that he was scaring me.

  Jake ended up calling me about midnight.

  He sounded extremely tired. “Did I wake you?”

  “No. I haven’t been able to sleep. I have been so worried.”

  “I am so sorry that I couldn’t call you until now. Everything is okay. There is nothing for you to worry about. Believe me. My being here does not change anything between us. Do you hear me? Just give me a chance to explain this to you in person. It’s not something I can do over the phone. I’ll be here one more day then flying home late tomorrow night and coming straight to you.”

  It was quiet wherever he was.

  “Okay. Where are you?”

  “I just got to my sister’s house. I’m spending the night here.”

  “Call me tomorrow?”

  “I promise. I love you, Nina.”

  “I love you too, Jake.”

  I hung up the phone and prayed for tomorrow to come quickly.

  ***

  It was about 5:30 Tuesday night when Ryan came home from work. He walked in the door and hung up his coat.

  He hung up his coat.

  Normally, the act of hanging up a coat is a very insignificant thing. But for me, the moment when Ryan hung up his coat meant everything.

  It was the last moment that I could remember when things were normal. It was the moment before everything changed. Because the second he turned to me and looked into my eyes, I began to suffocate.

  “Nina, you need to sit down.”

  “What’s going on?”

  He gently patted my arm. “Sit down.”

  I walked over to the couch and sat. My palms were sweaty, and my heart was beating a mile a minute.

  “Nina, I don’t know how to tell you this…”

  I gripped the seat cushions. “Just say it. What is it? Did someone die?”

  “No…it’s not like that.”

  “What?”

  “After our talk last night, I did some digging. You know, at work at the D.A.’s office, I think I told you, we have quick access to public records and such.”

  Thump.

  Thump.

  Thump.

  He continued, “I looked up Jake’s information, did a background check and found this document. Do you know what this is?”

  He handed me a piece of paper and I glanced down at it. He immediately moved to the couch next to me and put his arms around my back. It felt like a drum was beating in my ears and my body started to shake uncontrollably.

  I had suspected that maybe Jake was in some kind of trouble with the law or that he had a girlfriend in Boston. But I never expected this.

  I looked down at the printout again and felt like my head was on fire.

  Jake Alan Green

  Ivy Marie Macomber

  No. Jake didn’t have a girlfriend. He had a wife.

  He was married.

  PART 2:

  JAKE

  CHAPTER 21

  “Mr. Green, your wife has been transported to McLean Hospital. We think she tried to take her life last night.”

  It wasn’t the first time I had received a call like that, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. Talk about going from heaven to hell in a matter of hours.

  Before Nina, that was all my life amounted to…a living hell. Maybe escaping to New York for work during
the week was my purgatory. But there was certainly no heaven, no respite, never any peace or true happiness…until she came along. Nina had become my only solace from the nightmare I had been living over the past five years.

  The beverage cart stopped in front of my seat, and I asked for the strongest thing they had. It didn’t even matter what it was. I needed to take the edge off because I never knew what I was going be to walking into, especially this time. Thank God, at least from what they told me, Ivy was stable in the safety of a hospital.

  The flight attendant nudged me. “Excuse me? Your drink, sir.”

  I had been deep in thought staring out the window and hadn’t noticed her handing it to me. “Thanks,” I said, taking the hard liquor, whatever it was, and downing it.

  I let out a long breath and closed my eyes. My focus should have been on Ivy, but I couldn’t bear to let my mind drift to the reality that was about to slap me in the face when this plane touched down. There would be no way to escape it then.

  These minutes, miles up in the sky, were going to be my last moments of peace for a while. So, I chose to close my eyes and focus on the only thing that took the pain away.

  I never should have let things get as far as they did with Nina. But what should have happened and what I wanted to happen with every fiber of my being were two very different things.

  I became addicted to her from the moment I first shook her hand, and it trembled in mine. Women have always had strong reactions to me but never like that. I had never met someone so beautiful and sexy, yet humble and innocent at the same time. I wanted to lift her over my shoulder, carry her right then and there back to my room and make her mine, which was a crazy thought to have seconds into meeting someone. That was just the physical pull. Within a few minutes though, when I really looked into her eyes and she was talking about her phobias, there was this darkness there. She looked the same way I imagined I appeared to anyone that could see through my façade. Here was a girl I had just met, and I was sure our life stories couldn’t have been more different. Yet, somehow, I knew we had both been living the same kind of life, just going through the motions, trying to find something to make it worth living. For some unexplained reason, there was a connection with her that I hadn’t even known I was searching desperately for. But it was too late. My life was already laid out for me. So, I had to figure out a way to ignore what I was feeling.