Good Vibrations

by S. L. Scott

  I feel like I’m going to throw up. He leans toward me with his lips lingering against my temple before he finally pulls back. This is it, I can feel it.

  “Goodbye, Mallory.”

  I watch, unable to move, as he shoves his hands in his pockets and walks back to his car.

  As he gets in, I rush around the corner and lean against the front door, praying he can’t see me. I slide down the door in agony as my heart is ripped from my chest by the string that had bound us together just an hour earlier. The imagery of it dragging behind him makes my chest ache all the more. I drop my head between my knees and cry.

  I cry because of this fucked up situation. I cry because of his mother. I cry because I don’t have a cigarette. But mostly, I cry because the only man I’ve ever truly been in love with just left me.

  CHAPTER 22

  ~ Mallory ~

  I give myself all of three minutes before I stand up, dust the dirt off of my ass, and enter the apartment. Zach and Sunny both look up from the couch, surprised to see me.

  “Hey there,” Zach says, smiling like his usual happy self.

  Sunny takes a second to analyze me before she asks, “Have you been crying?” She stands up and rushes over to me.

  I nod, embarrassed to be breaking down in front of Zach.

  “What happened?” she asks.

  “I don’t …” I stop to choke down a sob not seeming to be able to get out what I want to say. “I can’t talk about it.”

  She strokes my hair back off my forehead, and says, “Is it Evan? Did he hurt you?”

  I stare at her not sure if she means physically or emotionally. She’s seen the emotional damage from him already, but she should know he would never physically hurt me. Hell, he’s Zach’s best friend, of course, he wouldn’t.

  “We broke up.”

  “What?” Zach stands up and exclaims. “That makes no sense.”

  “Well,” I start, but my voice wavers. “I’m not sure, but I think we did. It’s all just so messed up. We’re messed up.” I throw my hands into the air, exasperated.

  Walking back to my bag, I squat down and dig through it, but am still not able to find a cigarette. I go into the kitchen and dig one out of the emergency pack hidden in a coffee mug in the cabinet and grab the lighter from the TV stand.

  I head to the sliding glass door and let myself out. After settling into one of the plastic chairs, I light up and inhale the nicotine. Right now, this might actually be better than an orgasm.

  Sunny and Zach are mumbling to each other inside, probably debating who’s going to come out and have to talk to me. “Save yourselves the trouble. I don’t want to talk anyway,” I shout to make it easier on them.

  Silence fills the air then Zach appears in the doorway. Guess he lost.

  “Mallory, I’ve been meaning to catch up with you lately.” He tries for casual, but his body is stiff, uncomfortable as he makes his way out the door. “You know, me and Evan actually have a pretty cool bond for guys. We have similar backgrounds and—”

  “So I should warn Sunny to stay away from you before you two end up a complete mess like me and Evan?”

  “I’ll let that slide because you and Evan are a lot alike.” He takes a deep breath and noisily exhales before starting again. “Listen, I want to say something wise and helpful here, but I don’t know what to say other than you have turned Evan’s world upside down.” I sit up, wanting to hear more as the rain picks up to a steady mist. “He’s different with you… since you’ve been here. He’s better somehow and I thought he was pretty fucking cool before. People say some bad stuff about him, but it’s not who he is on the inside.”

  “Who is he then, Zach?” I stand up and walk closer, standing under the awning for shelter. Lowering my voice, I plead, “Please tell me who he is because I thought we were good and then I said something stupid. The walls went up and he shut me out.” I feel bad all over again and try to explain. “I apologized, but he wasn’t hearing it.”

  “He’s stubborn, but he heard you. Sometimes he just needs time to process stuff.”

  “I met his mother.”

  He looks at me with a raised eyebrow. “Oh! How’d that go?”

  “Not good. I want to blame her, but really, we should have been more open with our expectations.” I smile to myself. “He can be very distracting.”

  “Too much information,” he says and then chuckles.

  After an exasperated sigh, I say, “All I want is back in, and I don’t know how to do it. I don’t understand how to be in his world and not hurt him.”

  Sunny steps outside and leans on Zach’s shoulder as they take in everything I’m saying. I feel good sharing this with people who care about both of us, who’ll listen. “I can’t help that I leave in a month,” I say. “This summer was supposed to be carefree and now I want to be with him and it hurts to think that I have to leave him, but it hurts even more that he’s upset about me leaving. It was supposed to be a one night thing, you know.” My hand covers my mouth to stop myself from revealing anything more, but I can see they heard every word and my slip-up.

  Zach whispers even though I don’t know why since we can both hear him. “We all know you two were together the first night—”

  “I can’t believe he told you—”

  “No, no, no,” Sunny says. “It’s not like that. It’s just through comparing notes that we all figured it out.” She laughs. “Honestly, it wasn’t that difficult. But …” She steps forward and touches my arm. “Maybe it’s time to finally admit that you two are more than just a one night stand. You’re not in this alone. Evan feels the same about you as you do him.”

  Zach wraps his arm around Sunny’s waist, and says, “Don’t waste your time on petty bullshit. You should be together whether it lasts a month or a lifetime. You need to give it your best shot before it’s too late.”

  “That’s easy for you to say,” I say confused and open to suggestions. “You have each other and go to school together. Evan and I don’t have anything past August.”

  “You need to talk to him,” Zach says. “I know talking is the last thing you two are any good at, but you’re going to have to share your real feelings.” He steps inside the apartment and pulls Sunny behind him. “Now, I’m going to take Sunny to my house and make love to my woman all night long.”

  I roll my eyes, no smile, but with annoyance clearly attached to my face. “Yeah, rub it in, why don’t you?”

  Ten minutes later, I’m alone on my couch, bed, whatever this little torture device is and thinking hard.

  After the long day at the sandbar and then being in the pool, I need a shower. I drench my face under the warm water wishing this crappy feeling away, but to no avail.

  I hit the shower lever down, turning it off, and jerk the curtain open. I’m pissed! He’s breaking up with me. He broke up with me. We’re. Broken. Up. That was a final goodbye if I’ve ever heard one and I’ve heard a few. I wrap the towel around my body and stomp into the living room digging my panties out of the top drawer. I grab a white tank top and slide it over my head before heading to my bed. I lay there fuming for five minutes before I bolt upright. “No! No fucking way!” We’re not ending like this!

  Zach is right. This is petty bullshit and he’s been stalking me or peeping Evan-ing me, and making me fall for him. He doesn’t mean we’re over. He wouldn’t have gone to all the trouble if he didn’t love me. He loves me. Evan is in love with me. I gasp. Evan. Is. In. Love. With. Me.

  I toss the blanket aside and grab the nearest clothes—a black cotton mini skirt and slip it on. I run to the door putting my flip flops on and grab Sunny’s car keys off the hook.

  Before I have a chance to gather my thoughts and change my mind, I’m pulling into his driveway and parking. I sit there numb to what I’m really doing here and what I’m going to say to him. The rain picks up and to me that’s a sign that it’s now or never. I’m going to follow my heart and screw all reasoning that contradicts this rom
antic notion.

  I get out of the car, duck my head from the heavy drops, and run. Half way down the path, I run straight into Evan’s chest. Looking up into his eyes, I stand there pressed against him, unsure what to do. The rain gets heavier, soaking us completely. My hair glues itself to my face and his usually messy hair presses down against his forehead, but he still looks amazing.

  I’m nervous and scared, hesitant and anxious. “Evan?”

  In one swift movement, he takes my face in his hands and our lips are together. The passion that initially brought us together ignites between us again. Even though the cool rain pours down on us, the heat between us prevents us from acknowledging its existence.

  He pulls back and looks at me through dark eyelashes covered in droplets. “I can’t be away from you. I need you, Mallory.”

  I finally drop my guard and let my pride slide away as my tears mix with the rain, covering my face. When I look down, he quickly tilts my chin back up. Through gentle sobs, I confess, “I love you, Evan. I shouldn’t, but I do. I didn’t want to burden you with—”

  His body meets mine in a flurry of hands, lips, and legs coming together. His tongue enters my mouth without warning, weakening my body into his.

  Mingled with gasping breaths, he moans into my mouth, “Mallory.” Our lips never part, and we don’t need words to express how we feel. This is natural for us. Our bodies have always said what we can’t seem to.

  He moves me backward against the side of the house and under the small protective eave of the roof. My hands find purchase against his muscular abs and pull his shirt up enough to reveal his stomach. I need him and he needs me. This is how we find our way back to each other. I know this physical connection will strengthen our emotional one. His hands skim and then stop on my breasts as he attacks my neck with hot, open-mouthed kisses that could melt an iceberg. My hips squirm against him needing more, needing all of him. When his hands slide down my body to the hem of my skirt, they slip underneath. I throw my head back, hitting the hard structure that my body is firmly pressed against. I pull his shorts open in one swift and easy move, and he moans against my neck. “Why does it feel like we haven’t been together in ages?”

  I feel the same. Desperation maybe? There is a neediness we have for each other and it’s insatiable.

  Lithe fingers slide into my panties and into my own personal downpour, causing me to gasp aloud. He starts kissing me as the sensation deep inside starts to tighten and twist. His fingers slide out and he leans back to look at me. His expression has changed, and the hunger in his eyes ever present as he removes his shorts and rips open the little foil packet.

  We come together as the rain continues to pour. Our world engulfed by sighs and moans, frenzied bodies slick and steady, finding a rhythm all our own.

  “Mallory, you feel so good, baby. This is… we are… perfect.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck and his lips caress mine. My mind starts going fuzzy and I’m lost in the sensations of him.

  I kiss from his ear down across his jaw. Not being able to resist anymore, I lick his stubbly jaw and under his chin, lightly nibbling before moving to that smooth spot behind his ear. His head tilts to the side allowing me access as he softly chuckles, enjoying the attention. During the most intimate of acts, I discover the sweetness that my surfer boy is ticklish.

  When he turns and takes my mouth with his, his tongue swirls with mine, making me forget all about giggles and nips. “Ahh,” stubble, “Ung,” fullness, “Oooh,” rain, “Oh, Evan.” I come apart on top of him, squeezing my eyes shut and get lost in all that is us.

  He buries his head into the crook of my neck and groans through his personal bliss.

  We stay still, our bodies interlocked and surrounded by heavy breathing. The rain starts to lighten and then stops. Evan shivers then slowly lowers me, asking, “Can you stand?”

  I can’t verbalize a response yet, but I know my legs are too shaky from being held against the house. He lifts me up with trembling arms and cradles me against his chest. Turning, he walks down the path, kissing the top of my very wet head, and carries me over the threshold into his place. On a mission, he brings me into the bathroom and sets me on the edge of the large jetted tub. As the bathtub fills, he continues his kisses, pecking them across my cheek and up my temple. His breath is warm and the contact caring, satisfying the desperation I felt minutes earlier.

  “You should take off your clothes. The water will warm you up.” The words seem contradictory to the sentiment, but I know what he means.

  “I’m warm on the inside,” I say, with a soft laugh following.

  He laughs gently as he stands to take his own shirt off. It’s stuck to him since it’s soaked and he has to peel it off over his head to remove it. The sight of his hard body and concern for me makes me feel loved and makes my tummy flutter. “Get in the tub, baby, so you can get warm on the outside.”

  He steps in and holds a hand out to me. I pull the soaked, see-through tank over my head, and strip off my black skirt. I take his hand and step in. We don’t talk as he settles into the water and I work my way down onto his lap, resting my back against his chest. My head drops back against his shoulder and I sigh, content as he wraps his arms around my waist under the water. He kisses my head then says, “I’m glad you came back.”

  “So am I,” I say, not able to hide my smile. “Evan?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m sorry… for earlier tonight. I’m sorry for letting a summer deadline dictate our future.” I slide my cheek against his comforting chest and look up at him. “If you’ll still have me, I’m here, completely this time.”

  He laughs aloud and the sound is music to my ears. I love hearing him happy. “If I’ll have you? I can’t not be with you, Mallory. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I don’t have a choice in the matter.” He rubs his nose against mine and kisses me sweetly on the lips.

  “I meant what I said outside.” Three words that came from the heart, shared in a moment of passion and closeness I’ve never shared with anyone before.

  “I know you do and I do, too,” he says, and I catch that he isn’t saying the words I want him to, but his feelings are the same. I try to let that comfort me, but in an emotional girly moment, I really wanted to hear him say those three little words that mean so much.

  I gulp down the unimportance of my silly need and bring myself back to the current romantic position I’ve found myself in. He takes the bar of soap and dips it beneath the water running it across my stomach and under my breasts. Sliding back down my stomach, his hand dips between my legs. A sharp intake of air traps itself and I hold my breath.

  “Breathe, baby, breathe,” he whispers, tonguing the shell of my ear.

  I try to comply, but only short, ragged breaths escape.

  “Am I making you nervous?”

  “No,” I lie.

  “Liar.”

  I relax at his playful banter. He knows me well enough to know I was lying.

  “You’re right, I am a little nervous, but I don’t know why. Maybe nervous isn’t the right word.”

  “I think it’s because we had our first fight as a couple. It’s new for both of us and we’re trying to figure out how to get over it and come together and be stronger because of it.”

  It’s times like these that he blows my mind. He’s insightful and brilliant and has so much to offer the world, but chooses to keep his true feelings bottled up inside.

  “How do you do that?” I ask, hoping he understands my vague question.

  His head tilts back to rest on the ledge. “Hmmm.” He hums as I wait for him to share more. “You mean the stuff about coming together?”

  “Yes.”

  “Although I haven’t been in many relationships, I want this with you, because of you. I don’t want to lose you over petty bullshit.”

  I laugh when I hear him say that. “Petty Bullshit. Did Zach talk to you?”

  “Yeah, I got the ‘Petty Bull
shit Lecture’ texting edition.”

  “How’d that go?”

  “Something like, ‘Don’t let the petty bullshit fuck things up’.”

  “I got a similar speech.”

  “So, what do you think?”

  I spin my body around in the water so that I’m straddling him. I kiss him, fondling his lower lip with my tongue and then enter his mouth. It’s wet, soft, welcoming, and I can taste a hint of liquor and cigarettes. I moan, craving him again already. That bad boy of mine is such a turn-on. I adjust myself, placing his firming cock right against my most needy spot and then reluctantly pull back to answer his question between heated pants. “I think we should forget the petty bullshit and really give this a go. What about you?”

  His dreamy eyes focus on mine, and he says, “If you mean us when you say ‘this’ than I agree wholeheartedly.” His hands pull my head to his and we kiss, not frenzied or crazy, just sweet, sincere, and meaningful.

  My body goes on auto pilot and I rub against him searching for that radiance that only Evan can give.

  “No one has ever turned me on as much as you do, Mallory,” he says, his lips against mine.

  Picking up the pace of my grind, I mumble, “Yes, turned on,” grind, “like you, Evan.”

  He snickers then weaves his hands into my tangled hair, still wet from the rain. He holds us together until in unison, we part needing oxygen. I stare down at him, heated and lusty, as he says, “I …” He closes his mouth and then opens it to start again. My heart bubbles over knowing what he’s about to say. “I …,” he clears his throat, “Mallory …”

  CHAPTER 23

  ~ Mallory ~

  “I… let’s move to the bed,” Evan says, his words staggering out, but the I love you I know he feels remains elusive.

  To say I’m disappointed would be an understatement. My love for him is felt down to my bones, so it was easy to say, but it makes me wonder why he can’t just say it. I really hope I don’t start obsessing over this. “Bed?” I ask, confirming what he said.