Good Vibrations

by S. L. Scott

  “Of course, you would. And plight? Really?” Kate rolls her eyes, “Mother, may I speak with you?”

  “No. I have guests to tend to. Excuse me, ladies,” Mrs. Ashford says, avoiding Kate altogether and walking away from us.

  Kate turns to me and says, “Kelly and I need to have a tete-a-tete privately, if you don’t mind?”

  Kelly’s eyes widen and if I’m not mistaken, I spy fear behind her blues.

  Quirking my eyebrows in curiosity, I look at her, but she silently tells me to go, and go I do. “Go right ahead.” I narrow my eyes at Kelly one more time and see the stubbornness in her stance, ready for a showdown.

  After rushing into the house, I run down the corridor, and into the safety of the bathroom. Out of breath, I fall back against the door as tears fall from my eyes. All my fears are being realized as his past comes back to haunt us. I lean against the counter, my palms flat on the cold marble, staring down into the empty sink. I take several deep breaths and try to calm myself, wishing Evan would just get here already.

  A light tap on the door is heard and I jump, startled. I swipe under my lids with a tissue trying to hide the fact I was crying before I open the door.

  When I see Kelly, I huff in irritation. “What do you want?” I want to wipe that condescending smirk right off her face, but I refuse to play this game with her.

  “Mallory, I’m sorry this has been sprung on you. I wasn’t aware he had a girlfriend and I feel terrible you’ve been caught in the middle like this—”

  “In the middle? I’m not in the middle. I’m firmly at Evan’s side.”

  “That may be true right now, but I thought you should know that he’s been texting me all summer. We’ve even talked a couple of times.”

  I thought my heart hurt before, but now it shatters as I stare into the face of my undoing. I can’t stop the tears, my humiliation and pain worn openly across my face.

  She continues and I stay to listen. “If he’d given me any indication that he was taken, I wouldn’t be here. I swear to you. I’m disappointed and hurt as much as you are—”

  “No, you’re not. You were a one week fling. We’ve been together for…” I stop mid-sentence, realizing that technically we’ve only been together for a couple of weeks, but we’ve been playing this love tug-of-war for over a month. I can’t explain what Evan and I mean to each other, so I lie. I straighten my shoulders back and affront her. “We’ve been together over a month now and he’s given me no reason to doubt him. So, if you don’t mind, I’m taking his word over yours.”

  “I can show you the last text,” she says, lifting her phone up. “Look right here. It says ‘Miss you and can’t wait for you to return.’” She flashes the phone in front of my eyes then quickly jerks it away.

  Seeing it clearly with his name attached, I push past her, needing to find Evan and desperate to get away from this nightmare I’m living.

  “I’m also hurt by this,” Kelly yells down the hall as I round the corner. I think I also hear her laugh, but I can’t be sure, and I’m not stopping to find out.

  “Where are they?” I demand, looking at Kate.

  “They were hanging out at Murphy’s and Zach’s. They’re on their way. Take a deep breath, Mallory. That girl is not going to bother you tonight and she’ll be gone in the morning.”

  “She has proof that he’s been texting her—”

  Sunny gasps. “No.”

  Kate is shaking her head. “She’s a lying gold-digger. He hasn’t been—”

  “She showed me the text.”

  The group goes silent.

  “Sunny, come with me. Mallory, stay put. We’ll be right back.” Kate drags Sunny into the house to obviously formulate some kind of plan, but this waiting is too much. Evan has some explaining to do and I’m willing to listen, but he’s taking forever. My hands begin to shake with the possibility that she might be telling the truth. I turn to the bartender and order a shot. I need something to calm my nerves.

  Torturous minutes pass with no sign of Evan. The bartender places another shot down in front of me and I debate for two seconds before I down it. I’m tapping my fingers anxiously on top of the bamboo bar when my phone rings.

  I answer in a rush, hoping it’s Evan. “Hello?”

  “Hey there. I’m glad I caught you.”

  It’s a male voice, but not the one I wanted. “Noah, now’s not a good time.”

  “Bummer. I wanted to take you to the beach to see the big fireworks display. It’s pretty awesome.”

  Tears threaten to fall again from his kindness as my anxiety over Evans’ blonde ex peaks. I can’t make a scene at the Ashford’s party and I feel I’m close to crossing that line if I wait around any longer. As much I want to talk to Evan, I can’t stand here waiting to be humiliated in front of his family and a crowd. I’m losing my grip on my heavy emotions, feeling the betrayal of Evan engulfing my more rational thoughts. The only way we can survive this night is to abandon it until tomorrow. There’s nothing I can say to Evan that won’t come out as an accusation covered in my pain. There’s nothing he can say to justify what I just had to endure at the hands of a girl that fits into his charmed life so well, a girl that his mother supports to be on my boyfriend’s arm for all to see.

  No, I can’t do this tonight, not here. Not if we have any chance of not letting the situation destroy everything we want so badly. I make the one choice that seems reasonable when not entirely sober. I decide to go just for now, just for the night. I decide to go and give my alcohol-tinged insecurities time to taper off and for my hurting heart to heal. I’ll go for me, but I’ll also go for Evan, so he doesn’t have to deal with the crazy that is sure to come if I see him now.

  “I’ll go,” I whisper hesitantly, looking around, needing a savior, needing a friend, needing Evan to save me from this sinking sorrow that’s overwhelming me, but he’s not here.

  “I’ll pick you up,” Noah offers.

  I take a deep breath, and then say with a heavy heart, “I’m at the Ashford’s.”

  “Oh, um… okay. It’s probably best if you meet me out front in about ten minutes then.”

  “Okay.” I hang up and call Evan, but it goes straight to voicemail. “Call me, okay. I need to talk to you, babe. It’s important. Call me as soon as you get this message.” I hear the tremble in my tone as I leave the voicemail. Turning around, my eyes lock on Kelly across the pool. She’s charming the pants off Evan’s parents. With one sideways glance in my direction, she makes it clear that she’s here to stay, further cementing my decision to walk away before it’s too late for me to have something to return to.

  CHAPTER 2

  ~ Mallory ~

  Ten minutes. Ten minutes of pure torture. Kate has done her best to pass the time, shamelessly trying to entertain me with stories of wild society parties she used to attend in The Hamptons. Sunny sets me up with another cocktail and I’m staring toward the side path everyone is using tonight in hopes of seeing Evan walk in sooner rather than later.

  Kelly is keeping her distance from me. Wise move. She’s also been working the crowd like she’s already an Ashford. Her charm and etiquette is more polished than my average upbringing in Colorado afforded. She’s all about the social graces and seems to be winning everyone over.

  “They’ll be here any minute now, Mal,” Sunny reassures me, rubbing my back. “Don’t worry. We know the truth. Don’t believe that conniving witch.”

  Noah rounds the corner, making his way through the crowd after spotting me on the other side of the pool. He leans in toward my ear, still smiling, and says, “Hi, I waited out front. You ready, cuz this is not the most friendly of parties, if you know what I mean. Enemy territory and all.”

  “Yeah, I guess,” I say, glancing behind him one last time for Evan. I’ve had a lot to drink and I’m not feeling reasonable, much less in control of my emotions if provoked. Looking over at Kelly, I can tell she’s waiting to incite. I don’t want Evan’s parents to hate me more t
han they already do.

  Sunny reaches for my hand, a desperate plea in her eyes. “Mallory, please wait. He’ll be her—”

  “What the fuck are you doing here, Kalei? This is a private party.” Evan and his perfect timing have arrived. He takes possession of my hand, and pulls me to his side.

  My eyes land on her as she saunters up next to him, all fake smile and evil glints reflecting in her eyes as she glares in my direction.

  “Here you are, Evan. I was wondering where you ran off to,” she says, her hand taking to his bicep like it belongs there, rubbing up and down.

  “What are you doing here?” he asks, looking at her like he’s seen a ghost… a ghost from his past.

  I step away from him, releasing his hand as I feel the invisible sucker punch to my gut at her familiarity with him, how her devious grin looks as if she remembers every touch they’ve shared, knowledge she’s silently taunting me with as she sends painful blows to my already bruised ego. She knows his mother despises me and her confident smile messes with my inebriated mind. His words of surprise at seeing her are lost to the focus I have on her hand, to the way she’s touching him. Even when he pulls away, their tie that once bound them is still evident. I need to flee the scene before I breakdown, before I show Kelly and his witch of a mother that they’ve won, that they’ve beaten me.

  “Mallory?” he says, but in my alcohol-induced brain, his voice sounds distant.

  Noah understands my reaction as he surveys the scene. I can tell by the sympathy in his expression. “Mallory, I can take you home.” His words are just as careful as his actions.

  The attention we’d garnered from other guests fades, their interest falling back into their own cliquish conversations. Tears gather under my lids while listening to Kelly laugh at my expense. “Evan, your mother wants to speak with you.” Kelly’s charm school training mixed with her expert back-stabbing skills leave me stunned. It’s only a matter of time before her magic begins to work on Evan.

  I turn to go, recognizing when I’ve become a third wheel.

  “Mallory, what’s going on? Why are you leaving?” Evan’s tone wavers between confusion and aggravation as he speaks to my back.

  A quick peek over my shoulder is my undoing. He’s walked away from her, but the drinks add to the emotional weight of the situation, blurring any clarity I thought I could hold onto. I turn completely around and look him in the eyes before I lose my pride and the last shred of my sanity in the middle of this party. “I need to go. I’m sorry, Evan. I just do.”

  “No.” He’s firm in his conviction like he has every right to say so. He comes closer. His eyes searching mine, his expression revealing that he knows something is wrong, something that might be bigger than the both of us. “We can talk. C’mon, baby, talk to me.”

  “Not here, not now.” I look around at the attention from the nearby party-goers watching this scene as it starts swelling into a spectacle. His hand goes to my cheek, pressing to soothe the underlying trauma I’m feeling inside. His skin is warm against mine, his touch healing, and yet as the image of a text to an ex crosses my mind, it begins to burn. “Don’t touch me.” My demand is harsher than intended, and his hand drops away, but he grabs my wrist and pulls me with him without a word.

  Noah grabs my other, yanking me to a stop, and stretching me in two directions.

  There’s no confusion left. Evan’s anger is obvious. “Get your hands off of her!” He keeps his voice low, but solid. His restraint is clear because I can see how much he’s ready to fight if he has to.

  Noah releases me, and asks, “Are you okay, Mallory?”

  I don’t want to talk to Evan in the state I’m in because I’ll end up saying things I don’t mean. But this is not something that can wait. His past with Noah, Kelly, and how his mother makes me feel all needs to be resolved or settled one way or the other.

  “I’m fine. I need to talk to him. I won’t be long.” I give the faintest of smiles to reassure Noah before turning back to Evan. “We should talk.”

  We walk to the front of the house and weave between the cars. His Maserati is trapped in on all sides, so we stop in front of it just as his frustration boils over. “Shit! I wanted to go somewhere private.”

  “Evan?” I keep my voice steady, keeping the emotional tsunami whirling inside at bay.

  He locks eyes with me while his hands flex at his sides as if he doesn’t know what to do with them. “Why is he here, Mallory?”

  “Why is she here?” I point back toward the house.

  “Who?”

  “Kelly.”

  “What does Kelly have to do with anything?”

  “You told me you wouldn’t hurt me.”My tone is flatter than I mean to sound, my eyes losing focus on the man I love so much, and only seeing the guy from the airport.

  Looking deep into my eyes, he approaches. “How did I hurt you, baby?” His voice is much calmer, his eyes soft around the edges. He’s always been a good actor, his skills artfully rewarded with an easy lay. Kelly is a prime example of his talents.

  “That girl, Evan… I, I don’t understand why you wanted to be with me so much, and yet you still needed a backup plan—a girl waiting in the wings for when we’re over,” I explain, tears streaking down my face.

  “Baby, I’m sorry, but I wasn’t—” His hands reach for my cheek as he looks at me miffed by the overflow of emotion.

  “I don’t want your apology!” My own hurt turns to anger and my hands start to shake again.

  “I don’t understand. Why are you acting this way?”

  The tears dry on the spot at the insinuation that I’m in the wrong. Alcohol might not be the best remedy for the blues, but it always fuels an irrational fire, which is burning inside of me. “Why am I acting this way? Why am I acting this way? You have some nerve turning this around on me when you’re the one chatting up your fling this whole time while spewing a guilt trip on me over Noah.” I’ve been such a fool. I thought I could handle being carefree Mallory, but that’s not who I am. Whether I’m in Colorado or Hawaii, I’m still the same person.

  “What are you talking about?” His voice is raised as he narrows his eyes pointedly at me.

  I have a feeling Evan Ashford is not called out on his actions much. “I’m talking about your girlfriend from the airport. Why’d you do this to me? Why not just fuck me and send me on my merry way like you send every other one night stand?” I hit him on the chest once and then again as I shout, “Why?”

  “You’re talking crazy. I don’t know why she’s here, but it’s not because I asked her to come. You really think I’m that much of an asshole?”

  “I think you knew what you were doing all along,” I say, pointing at him. “You only pursued me because I rejected you at the airport. You pursued me because you’re spoiled and can’t accept no when you’re told.”

  “I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m telling you the truth, Mallory. You’re drunk and blowing things out of proportion.”

  There are phrases that men say to women that are sure fire to set a woman off in a rage. ‘You’re drunk and blowing things out of proportion’ is one of those. I close my eyes, attempting to gather my thoughts which are running rampant. When I open my eyes again, I can tell everything we have built teeters on the weight of this conversation. “You should have just fucked me the first day. I expected it then. I wanted it. But you, you had to make love to me and make me feel more than I wanted. This was supposed to be a fun summer. I finally got to be whoever I wanted to be, escaping my life back home. I wanted easy and frivolous. I wanted to have a one night stand and leave it at that, but no. You had other plans, like torturing me until you got what you wanted. Are you happy, Evan? You’ve broken me into a million little worthless pieces, the whole of me lost to the abuse of your charms and good looks.”

  I’m tipsy, maybe drunk, but now that we’re laying it all out there, we might as well get the rest out into the open. Every little insecurity and twisted situation aire
d and in the end maybe we will survive or maybe we won’t, but if we do, it will because we live in the truth.

  “If I would’ve fucked you without expectations, we’d still be here today,” he says, his voice much more cautious. “There’s something between us that neither can deny. Something stronger than our will and desires—”

  The plan has formed. The solution to our problem lies in the wake of our beginning. We have to backtrack and make this all right, make it the way it was always meant to be. “You may be right, but we can fix this. Since you’re obviously not ready to give up other girls then you can give me up. I’ve got the perfect plan. Fuck me, Evan.”

  “What? What are you talking about?”

  “It’s so simple. Don’t make love to me. Don’t be gentle. Fuck me without emotion, so we can move on with our lives, knowing that’s all we were. Nothing more. Nothing less. Nothing gained. Nothing lost.” I look down, believing this option is viable. “Just do this. If you ever cared about me, do it.” I look up as the tears pool in my eyes again. “We gave it our best shot, but it’s time to end this like it was always supposed to end.” I hate the plea in my voice as it cracks, my heart warring between strength and devastation.

  He holds my arms, squeezing them as we stare into each other’s eyes, and says, “That’s not going to solve anything, baby. Everything would be lost because we’re way beyond fucking each other out of our systems. I’ve tried it and it didn’t—”

  “You tried? You mean…” My heart explodes inside my chest, knowing he’s been preparing for my leave all along, plotting out his plan to rid me from his life. This reaffirms my own plan. Yes, I need for him to do this because then I’ll see him differently. He won’t be loving or nice. He’ll be a user, an abuser, and a taker. I’ll be able to walk away with those last images and forget the past and everything I thought we could be.