Reckless Abandon

by Jeannine Colette

  I look up at him, still in disbelief that he’s really here. Maybe I’m dreaming. I move my left hand from Alexander’s shoulder to my neck and give my skin a squeeze.

  The action causes him to laugh as if he knows what I’m doing.

  I look back at him, tingles running up my back at what this all means.

  “You’re here.”

  “I’m here,” he agrees. His voice is in that smooth, deep baritone that makes me melt.

  I swallow and continue to stare, now at his beautiful square jaw and full lips. “How?”

  “There is this thing called an airplane—” he says in a sarcastic tone, but I cut him off by hitting his shoulder.

  “I know all about that airplane. It’s beautiful by the way. I should be mad at you.”

  “But you’re not.” His lip turns up in a smirk.

  I smile back. “No. I’m not.” My arm moves around his neck as I pull him into my body so tight until we can’t get any closer. “God, I missed you.”

  Alexander releases our hands and puts his other hand around my waist, holding me tightly. I bring my other arm around his neck, resting my cheek on his broad chest.

  He kisses the top of my head and whispers, “I’ve missed you more.”

  Leah and Adam’s first dance song ends and then a faster song plays. I am temporarily broken from the spell that is Alexander Asher and then realize where we are. We are at Leah’s wedding. She didn’t want him here yet here he is anyway. I have to approach her. I have to tell her that I am in love with him and if she loves me, she has to love him too.

  But when I look over at her, I see she is smiling. Not just in wedding bliss, and not at me. She is looking directly at Alexander and smiling.

  I look back at him as he pulls me back in and we start dancing to the fast beat. He is a really good dancer. In between spins and dips, I ask him, “She knew you were coming?”

  “She did.”

  “And she wasn’t mad.”

  “She was a little mad.”

  “How did you get her to change her mind?”

  Alexander pulls me into his chest. Our feet stop moving. His honey-wheat eyes gaze into mine, and his lips part to say the sweetest words I’ll ever hear.

  “I told her I’m in love with her sister.”

  My hearts stops beating. Like, really, heart? Are you in there?

  Lungs, you can breathe too.

  Alexander moves a stray hair behind my ear. “I love you, Emma.”

  My smile is so wide I think it will break my face. I want to kiss him. Instead, he takes my hand and is pulling me off the dance floor. We walk away from the room and his head looks from left to right in search of a place to talk. I pull him down the hallway and into the bridal suite.

  As soon as we are inside the door, I try to throw myself on top of him and kiss him but he is holding me back.

  “Are you serious? I need to maul you right now!” I am eager to get to him.

  He laughs and holds me in a way that we are embracing but I can’t kiss him. “Emma, wait, I have to say this first and then I plan to do more than kiss you.”

  I groan in anticipation at the thought but I let him talk.

  “I have always gotten what I want. Ever since I went to live with my grandfather, I have prided myself on getting exactly what I wanted when it came to business, luxuries, women . . .”

  I make a sour face at the mention of other women but he ignores that.

  “I wanted you and I got you. But the way I felt for you scared me so I ran, and I promised I wouldn’t run again. I thought a lot about what you said the other night. I never gave you a reason to trust me. I wanted you to fight for me but I never did the same.

  “So I called your sister and I told her how I feel about you. I even told her how you put her feelings before mine and she cried.”

  I shake my head, “When was all this?”

  “Yesterday. Emma, I can’t live without you. I didn’t follow you once and it almost ruined us. I wasn’t about to let it happen again and not without their blessing.”

  “Their?” I ask.

  “I spoke to your mom and dad too.”

  “Oh, God.” I place my hand on my forehead and try to comprehend the conversation I am going to have with them about Alexander.

  Alexander takes my hand away from my head and lowers his eyes so they grab my attention. I give him my most disapproving look. “Why did you talk to my parents?”

  He shrugs his shoulders and says, “I needed somewhere to stay while I was in town.”

  My inside release and I laugh out loud. “You’re staying at my parents’ house?”

  Alexander nods. “I am.”

  “You know there is zero privacy in my parents’ house and there is no way they’re letting you stay in my room.”

  “I know. I have Leah’s room,’ he says with a face of mock fright. I laugh and he pulls me into him.

  His hands come up to my cheeks and he holds my head as if it’s the most precious thing in the world. “I love you, Emma. I should have told you before. This. Is. It. For. Me. I’m all in.”

  “I love you too.”

  He smiles at my words. “I know.”

  I tilt my head in confusion.

  “I got your voice mail,” he says just before leaning forward and brushing his lips against mine. They are smooth and strong and feel like heaven. Our lips entwine, melding together like branches of a hundred year old tree and my entire body melts into his embrace.

  His tongue slides along my upper lip and the warmth of it runs a chill up my spine. When my own mouth opens further to welcome him, our kiss grows deeper. As our tongues meet, I swear we both exhale in bliss and need. Hungry for more, my hands are pulling at his suit jacket, desperate to have more of him.

  We kiss for an ungodly long time and just when I reach for his belt buckle, Alexander puts his hand my own and moves it away. I look up at him in shock and surprise

  His breathing is ragged as he put his forehead against mine and catches his breath.

  “Baby, there is nothing more I want than to make love to you right now but your sister’s wedding just started and if I’m correct, you have a toast to make.”

  A toast?

  Oh my God. I am in no condition to make a toast right now. I scoot back and away from him and start to make myself look presentable. I grab my purse from where I left it in the bathroom and look into the mirror. My face is flush, my lips are bright red from the scruff of his jaw and my hair is out of place from his strong hands grabbing at it.

  “You’re beautiful.”

  I look over to Alexander who is leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, looking at me like a man in love.

  My shoulders rise and I let out a sigh. If only he knew what his words do to me.

  I put some lipstick on and fix my hair just enough to look presentable. When I am done, Alexander takes my hand and together we walk downstairs just in time for the toasts.

  Thankfully, I wrote my speech out so I can recite it verbatim. When I am done, Leah and Adam hug me, thank me for the beautiful words, and I take my seat. At my table, I see Alexander has a place beside me. When I look back at Leah, she winks at me and I thank her with my eyes for accepting Alexander into her life. It is the most Leah-like thing she has ever done. Her methods may be unorthodox but then again, that’s what makes Leah, Leah.

  Alexander is an exceptional wedding date. He has been dancing with me all night, is patient when I have to leave him to do my maid of honor duties, doesn’t give me a hard time when I choose to avoid catching the bouquet at all costs, and gives Leah and Adam the most spectacular wedding gift: an all expenses paid trip to Capri.

  I am talking to Adam as he, drunkenly, gives his blessing on my new relationship when I look over and see my dad pulling Alexander over for a chat.

  I hug Adam and let him go back to enjoying his party and stand here, on the edge of the dance floor watching my dad and Alexander interact. Dad is a few inches s
horter and narrower but he’s trying his best to be as intimidating as the man standing in front of him.

  I am biting my thumbnail, watching the two of them talk. It’s foolish I would be nervous. I guess they just mean so much to me I want these men to get along. This is my future. The man who raised me and the man who completes me.

  “Is that the young man you were telling me about?”

  Grandma has slowly crept up next to me. All four feet, eleven inches of her. She’s a silver fox-tress, as Leah calls her, and is very proper. Everyone in the family says I’m just like her.

  “Yes, Grandma.” I answer yet my eyes are still on dad and Alexander. Dad has a serious look on his face and Alexander is simply nodding at whatever he is saying.

  “Well, if that boy doesn’t light your fire, your wood is wet!”

  My head on a swivel rolls in Grandma’s direction to assess the old woman as she walks away with her cane and a smile.

  Can’t say I disagree with her.

  Looking back at dad, I see he is crying. Oh, God, dad and his tears.

  “It’s fine, honey. He just wants to meet the man who is in love with you.” My mom has sidled up next to me this time. My hands find my stomach as I brace for the forewarning. Be careful, Emma. You are strong, Emma. Take care of yourself first, Emma. “I like him. I think he’s good for you,” she says.

  I relax my hands and turn to face her. The lines around her eyes are wrinkled in and they’re slightly wet from the tears that are filling up her eyes. “It’s good to have you back, honey.”

  Mom pulls me into a hug and I hold right on to her. We haven’t shared a good hug in way too long.

  I look back at the men in my life. My dad extends his hand to Alexander, who shakes it back and then my dad pulls Alexander in for a hug. I’d be lying if I said Alexander didn’t look wildly uncomfortable with the gesture but he is going along with it anyway.

  After the reception is over we make our way to McConaughey’s for the after party and I am relieved to switch my wedding heels for a pair of slippers. Alexander loosens his tie but leaves his suit intact. Instead of the usual scotch, he orders a pint with me and together we sway and sing to the music blasting from the speakers as Leah leads us all in a song.

  When we head back to my parents’ house, Alexander and I are tipsy as we walk through the back door, clawing at each other’s bodies and making out like teenagers and being entirely too loud. My parents are still up, wearing their robes and talking in the kitchen. When we see them, Alexander and I halt our laughter and remove our hands from one another.

  Dad looks uncomfortable with the situation, his eyes darting to the floor. “Alexander, you’ll be in Leah’s room tonight. Pam made up the bed for you this morning.”

  Alexander offers him a “Yes, sir” and it causes me to snicker at the idea of Alexander being schooled by his girlfriend’s dad. From the grin on Mom’s face, I can tell she finds this amusing as well.

  Dad walks over and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Good night, darling,” he says about to turn around but then faces me again, “It’s so nice to see you smiling.”

  I place my hands to my mouth and feel the smile across my face.

  My parents head out of the kitchen and I push Alexander’s back so he’s following them up the stairs.

  When we get to my room, Alexander offers me a sweet kiss on the cheek and then disappears across the hall to Leah’s room.

  I take my time in the bathroom, showering off the caked-on makeup and washing out the massive amount of hairspray in my hair. When I emerge, the hallway is dark and the house is quiet. I glance at Leah’s bedroom door and contemplate paying a visit to the man who traveled here to tell me he loves me.

  I’ve never had a boy stay at my parents’ house. I’ve never snuck one in and I’ve definitely never fooled around with a boy under my parents’ roof.

  I’m twenty-five years old and finally about to break the rules.

  I walk to my room, thinking about what I can slip on that would be sexy yet easy to take off. I open my bedroom door and when I close it I almost scream as a large shadow is standing in the middle of my room.

  I fall back against the door, my hand to my chest attempting to calm my rapid heartbeat.

  “Jesus Christ, you scared the hell out of me!” I yell in a whisper.

  Alexander quietly laughs. “Scared you? Try sleeping in Leah’s room. It’s like a time capsule to 2005 in there. I thought she only liked McConaughey, but there’s Leto, Gosling, Damon . . . their eyes just stare at you in your sleep!”

  I bite down on the inside of my lips, clamping them down to stifle my laughter. “Are you afraid of the dark?”

  “No!” he says too defensively.

  My sweet Alexander who doesn’t like to be alone. He doesn’t like the dark. It’s like he had a nightmare—Oh, wait.

  Could it be possible Alexander Asher is afraid of the dark? Yes, it could be. I know everything about him. I know about his childhood and the night his parents died. He was with them for hours, waiting for some to come while the two perished before his eyes.

  I walk to him and place my hands on his waist letting them travel under the fabric of his white shirt. His muscles are taut under the heat of his skin. Leaning forward, I place a soft kiss over his heart.

  “I will never abandon you.”

  Instead of answering me, Alexander’s hand find that perfect spot on each side of my head. He lifts my chin and gently brushes his lips across my own. I close my eyes and feel the kiss straight down to my toes.

  He unravels the towel around my chest and his thumbs finding my nipples hard and ready for him. His touch is powerful but not hurtful. The hold he has on me is one of a man claiming what is his, what he knows is his reason to never be alone ever again.

  I place my hands around his neck, my fingers skimming through the golden strands of his hair, pulling them gently. This is my way of letting him know I will never let him go.

  He pulls me toward my bed and I try to stop him before his body hits the frame and the bed lets out a frighteningly loud squeak. Alexander hops up quickly and turns around to look at the offending mattress.

  I fall to the floor on my knees and pull him down by the hem of his pants. “Old house. Old beds.” When he was on his knees as well, I start undressing him. “Ever make love to a girl on the floor?” I ask and then quickly add, “Scratch that. I don’t want to know. I’m sure the answer is yes.”

  Alexander unbuttons his shirt, his perfectly sculpted chest and well-defined stomach glistening in the moonlight coming through the window. I admired this body in Capri, at a time when I never believed it would be mine.

  “Emma,” he says when his shirt is freed from his body and I can finally touch his velvet skin. I look up and see his gorgeous face looking down at me. I am naked but he isn’t looking anywhere but directly into my brown eyes. “Everything I do with you is a first. Yes, I’ve been with a woman on the floor before but you are the first woman I have ever made love to. You are the first woman I have ever been in love with. So everything I do with you is brand new because it’s with you.”

  Be damned the first love and be damned the second love.

  I am the last girl he will ever love.

  And I am so breaking the house rules tonight.

  Knock, Knock.

  “Hmmhmm?”

  “Emma, breakfast is ready.”

  “Okay.”

  “And, Alexander . . . Bob is taking you to the airport.”

  I shoot up like a jack-in-the-box but am pulled back down by the strong arms of Alexander Asher.

  “Thank you, Pam,” he says and then nuzzles himself back into my neck.

  I push him off and sit up. My voice is in a harsh whisper. “You have to go. My mom just caught you in my room.” This is so embarrassing. My mom knows I had sex with a man in my room.

  He is laughing into his pillow and trying to pull me back down. “Baby, damage is done. They’re gonna have to get used to
me staying in here when we visit.”

  Leaning on my elbow, I glance down at the perfect cut, masculine jawline that has a bit of scruff coming in. “You want to stay here when we visit my parents?”

  His hand takes the hair that is falling in front of my face, places it behind my ear and then rubs my earlobe with his thumb and forefinger. “Yeah, I like it here.”

  “You like the fact there is one bathroom?”

  “Yes.” His perfect white teeth gleam in the sunlight coming through the window.

  “And that there are six cats living here and everything gets hair on it.”

  “No, I hate that part. But I do like being where you grew up. This room, it’s a piece of you.”

  “Even the squeaky bed?”

  Alexander smiles brighter and pulls me in, cradling his hands around my behind. “I love the squeaky bed.” As if on cue, the bed makes a loud noise and we freeze in place, laughing into each other’s necks.

  Alexander suddenly turns very serious and pulls back to get a good look at my face. I tilt my head and wait for him to ask a question.

  “Did you enjoy growing up here?” he asks. I have no idea where the question is coming from.

  Taking in the room, I look around at the yellow walls, decorated with the awards I won at recitals and concerts. A picture of the Eiffel Tower over my dresser and boudoir-type mannequin bust in the corner where I hang my costume jewelry. Even as a teenager I was trying to exude class when I should have been drooling over boys in movie posters and running silly like Leah.

  I had a great childhood. Playing in the tree house in the backyard and having movie night on Fridays, life was good. It was peaceful.

  “Yes, I loved growing up in this house. We had everything we needed,” I reply.

  “And what was that?”

  “Love. We have a lot of love in this house.”

  Alexander takes in my answer and seems to be assessing it. I lay my hands on his chest and look at him, waiting for him to give me some insight into what he’s thinking. Instead I just watch him absorb what I said.

  After a minute or so, he looks back at me and runs his finger down the length of my nose. “Let’s go have breakfast with your parents. I’m sure your dad is in tears at the thought of his baby girl upstairs in bed with a man!”